The End?

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“Annika, there’s many windows and mirrors in this room, break them all, break all of them in the house, but please, never stop speaking to me.”

 

Pausing, Shivaay pulled his phone out of pocket and held it out in front of him after turning the recording setting on.

 

“You always say I can’t do it, today I will show you I can. I’m going to apologise to you, not once, not twice, but a hundred times… Annika… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

 

Looking into his eyes, she knew he was truly sorry, that he deeply regretted his actions.

 

“Will you forgive me?”

 

As he shoves his phone back into his pocket, Shivaay took a step towards her.

 

“Will you forgive me?”

 

He asked again, waiting for her response. Yes… She could forgive him…

Looking up, she was ready to tell him the same when everything came flooding back in. His words, his taunts, his manhandling and threats…

Taking a step away, she shook her head. No, no, she couldn’t. She couldn’t forgive him just like that. She could see he was regretful of his actions, that he wanted to redeem himself, but this wasn’t enough.

 

“No… I can’t…”

 

Taking multiple steps away from him, Annika turned her back to him, ready to walk out of the bedroom, when he caught her arm.

 

“Annika, I know you’re upset with me but… How can we move forward from this?”

 

Turning to face him again, she pulled her arm out of his grip.

 

“Your sorry won’t give me back my lost respect and honour. You demeaned me in my own eyes. You took my freedom away from me…”

“I know all that, I messed up but I want to make it up to you.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

 

Crossing her arms across her chest, Annika waited for him to respond. But Shivaay was struggling, he knew his actions had caused her a great deal of hurt and he didn’t know how to rectify this.

 

“I’ll do anything to prove myself to you, from this point forward, I’ll never distrust you, no matter who says what… I will always believe you above all.”

“All that is fine, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve already thought the worst of me. You thought I…”

 

Annika could feel her throat close up as tears prickled her eyes. Blinking them away, she looked right back at him again.

 

“You thought I… Slept with Daksh in your home… You really thought I would do that? Especially when you knew I had feelings…”

 

She didn’t finish the sentence but Shivaay knew how that sentence was meant to end. Especially when he knew she had feelings for him…

 

“And you didn’t just think I slept with him, you thought… For money… Shivaay, do you realise what you thought of me, how you thought of me? What you accused me of?”

 

Taking another step towards her, Shivaay held his hand out trying to reach her but she held her hand up, stopping him in his tracks.

 

“Say I got over that at some point, but it’s not just that. You’ve thought so many things of me, accused me of so much… You even tried to…”

 

She looked away from him. No, she couldn’t let him off the hook so easily. He accused her of so much, thought so negatively of her… She couldn’t let it all go. Not like this. His sorry wasn’t enough.

 

“Forget it, what’s done is done, I don’t want to talk about it any more.”

 

Once again she turned away to leave but he rushed in front of her and shut the bedroom door and blocked it.

 

“You’re not going anywhere until we talk this out.”

“And I said I’m done talking. I have work to do.”

“If we leave it like this, the distance between us will only grow.”

“The distance that already exists between us is so great it can’t be closed. Adding a bit more to it won’t make a difference.”

“Annika please. I can tell there’s other things you are holding against me. Talk to me, let it out. Only then can we move forward.”

“I said let me go!”

“Not until you speak to me.”

 

Moving towards him, Shivaay saw the anger in her eyes.

 

“Fine, you want to know what else I am holding against you? Then listen. I know what you thought of me before Daksh told you all those lies. You thought I was obsessed with you, you thought I lied about Daksh’s attacks on me… You really thought I wanted to replace Tia in your life…”

 

Up until this point, Shivaay had his head bowed in shame, but this caused him to look up. What was she saying?

 

“Annika I never…”

“Please, I heard you talking to Om. I heard everything you had to say about me.”

“What? When was this?”

“The day before your sangeet. I was coming to your room to speak to you and I heard you tell Om… You really thought I would lie about that attack just to get your attention?”

 

Racking his brain, Shivaay tried to remember what this conversation was because he knew he never believed she was lying, why would she… And then he recalled. He had quoted Tia’s words back to Om so he understood what Tia thought of Annika. She must have heard half the conversation and thought he…

Moving towards her again, he reached out for her arm and placed his hand on her.

 

“Annika, you misunderstood. What you heard was half true. I didn’t think that of you, that’s what Tia said to me about you and I just relayed it back to Om. In my heart I knew…”

“You heart? You never listen to your heart. Shivaay Singh Oberoi only listens to what his brain.”

“I do, but my heart was telling me…”

“Okay fine. Maybe that was a misunderstanding, but what about after that. The next day you gave me money to… To leave you alone.”

“Excuse me? I have never given you money for that reason?”

 

Shivaay was confused. What the hell?

 

“You gave Tia money to give to me. She said you said that this money was for when I lied for you to the police and told them that you spent the night with me so you couldn’t have killed Gayatri. She told me that you wanted me to take the money and leave you… You gave me what I was worth…”

 

Her voice broke again, but she recomposed herself.

 

“You tried to pay me off. You tried to PAY me to leave you alone? Is that how little you thought of me? That I was only around because I wanted money from you? Did you know me at all Shivaay? Did you ever understand me at all? Or was I always just a middle class gold digger?”

 

Again Shivaay was beyond confused and tried to understand what was happening and then it clicked. Tia had taken from him saying it was for more guests when really she was playing with Annika.

Shivaay explained this to Annika who looked unconvinced but took it in.

 

“Tia and Daksh really played a good game with us. They tried to keep us apart…”

 

As he was speaking, something else clicked into place.

 

“Wait, Tia gave you the money before the sangeet?”

“Yes.”

“So… You accepting Daksh’s proposal did it have anything to do with all of this?”

 

Looking down, Annika recalled the inner turmoil she was facing that day. He took another step towards her and then again until he was a breath away from her. Slowly raising his hand to her face, he cupped her cheek, and tilted her chin up to face him.
Shivaay dropped his voice as he looked into her troubled eyes.

 

“Talk to me Annika. If we speak about this, we can find ways to move forward too.”

 

She looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes. The way he was speaking to her now, the way he was treating her, he was being so soft. He was trying to make her melt, but she couldn’t allow herself to melt, she couldn’t allow herself to feel for him again.

 

“That day… It broke me Shivaay. After hearing you say I was obsessed with you and then you giving me that money… I… And then at sangeet when Daksh proposed, you jumped in and said no for me. I Just… You knew how I felt, that’s why you knew I was going to say no, but then all those things that happened before… I felt so confused… Because if you understood my feelings then how could you treat me like that…”

 

Taking her hand, Shivaay led Annika to the sofa and sat her down before sitting down next to her.

 

“I’m sorry Annika. I really am. For all the hurt I’ve caused you, sorry isn’t enough but it’s all I have.”

 

He watched as a few tears fell from her eyes before she brushed them away.

 

“I need to get going.”

“Annika…”

“I have people waiting for me and I have work to do.”

“Listen…”

 

But the moment was gone and she wasn’t going to wait. Getting up, she picked her bag up again and left their bedroom, leaving Shivaay behind her, watching her go. He knew he needed to find a way to get this sorted, but as of right now, he was at a loss and didn’t know how to move forward…

 

*****

 

Later that evening when everyone had returned home from their daily duties and dinner was over, Shivaay and Annika retreated to their bedroom for the night.

They hadn’t spoken much since she got home, and she had made an active effort to stay out of his way. But now he watched as she prepared herself for sleep, waiting to see what she was going to do. When she picked up her pillow and blanket and made her way to the door, he got up and stopped her.

 

“Annika wait, where are you going?”

“To sleep?”

“I know but outside?”

“That’s where I always sleep?”

“I know but…”

“I can’t stay here with you. I need my space.”

“But if we don’t try, how can we bring change into our relationship?”

“Nothing has changed. Everything is out in the open but you still did what you did. You still forced this marriage on me against my wishes and I… I just can’t. I can’t share this space with you.”

 

She made to leave, but he caught her by the arm once more.

 

“I can’t take back what I’ve done, but we can try and start again, try to give our marriage a proper chance.”

“Our marriage?”

 

Annika turned, her eyebrow raised.

 

“When did it become our marriage?”

“Annika…”

“Your wedding, your family’s honour, your way, your choice… There was no we or our. Everything was you. I was just a pawn. And since when did you start caring about this marriage? You never accepted it, nor did you accept me.”

 

The truth hurt but Shivaay knew it was true. The day of the wedding, all he cared about was saving his family’s reputation. That, and punishing Annika for interfering in his business and making things more complicated for him. And for Daksh…

 

“I told you, I can’t take back what happened but…”

“You know Shivaay, I never wanted marriage, not really. In my heart I knew I wanted to get married one day but… My priority was Sahil. But I hoped that if one day I got married, it would be because I fell in love with someone and he with me. I just wanted to be special to someone, someone’s number one…”

 

She looked away, her eyes dropped to the floor. Shivaay took her in and he recalled her words from when Malika had asked her about love and marriage. She had thought love wouldn’t happen to her…

 

“I want a lot of things, I want to be independent, I want to be able to manage for myself, and I wanted to one day, maybe be married to someone cared for me. You took that all away from me.”

“You can still be all of that, you can still be independent and you can still work for yourself and I do care for you.”

 

Annika scoffed as she got to her feet and picked her blanket and pillow up again.
Her scoffing at his feelings annoyed him. How could she scoff? Didn’t she realise how much he cared for her. She expected him to understand her feelings, yet here she was, scoffing at his?

Grabbing her arm, Shivaay pulled Annika back to himself before pushing her against the wall, his hands on her shoulders. He looked into her eyes, her big eyes looking into his.

He could see her hurt, her anger, her disappointment… How he wanted to take it all away.

Easing his grip on her, he dropped his voice.

 

“Listen to me.”

“No. I don’t want to hear anything any more.”

“Annika, I do care for you, you know this.”

“If you cared, you wouldn’t have hurt me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how many more times you want me to say that but I will keep saying it. What has happened has happened, but we need to find a way to move forward. I want to try to make things right with you, start again.”

“But there’s no need to move forward. You want to divorce me, the papers are ready. We can just part ways now. This marriage never meant anything to you anyway. Besides, I highly doubt I’m the kind of girl that you want to spend your life with.”

 

Her words burnt him. She really didn’t realise what he felt for her. Indeed, he hadn’t been the best at showing or acknowledging it, but he had hoped that in her heart she knew how he felt about her before.

 

“Our marriage may not have meant anything to me at the time, but it did to you. Can we not use that as a stepping stone to move forward?”

 

Annika lowered her eyes from him, and tried to get out of his grip but failed. Shivaay felt a tug at his heart as he realised how badly he messed up. Despite the way they had gotten married, despite everything he had done, she had valued their marriage and he…

Shivaay looked at Annika, how vulnerable she looked at this moment. He noticed her lips quiver slightly and he couldn’t look away. Her lips… They were one of the first things he’d noticed about her. That day when she had turned up at his house in a box and fallen unconscious in his arms. He’d noticed her lips, how beautifully pink and plump they were. He looked at them again and if anything, he was more drawn to them now than before, but he tore his eyes away. He needed to focus on Annika, on making things right, he couldn’t let himself get distracted.

Bringing her away from the wall, he led her to the sofa and sat her down, before taking his hands into her own.

 

“Shivaay please.”

“I know I’ve hurt you, I’ve wronged you, but let me try and sort this, let me make it up to you.”

“What you have done to me, the things you’ve said and thought about me, I can’t just forget it.”

“I’m not asking you to forget, I’m just asking you to give me a chance to redeem myself.”

“Why? Why does it matter so much when our relationship is ending soon?”

 

He squeezed her hands, causing her to look at him.

 

“Let’s try and work through our relationship and then, if we can’t get passed this, I will let you go if that’s what you want. But please, let’s try and work through this.”

 

Annika felt herself melt slightly. He really was trying, he really regretted what he did… But he still did it. Nothing could change that.

 

“Okay… But I don’t know how I can overlook this and try to move forward.”

 

He paused for a moment before resuming.

 

“Can we try to focus on what we had before we got married? Can we focus on those feelings and try to work out what they meant and just go from there?”

 

Annika knew exactly what he meant and she knew which feelings he wanted to explore. But she already knew what those feelings had meant and she had already repressed them. She knew she couldn’t love a man like Shivaay, and though things around them had changed, it didn’t change the fact that he thought those things. She still couldn’t love him. Not after everything he had done to her. If she fell for him again after everything that had happened, where would her self respect go? No, no. She couldn’t let her become a slave to her repressed feelings, she couldn’t…

 

“Those feelings… Whatever was happening, it doesn’t exist any more. It all ended when you pulled that stunt to make me marry you.”

 

And with that, Annika got to her feet, took hold of her blanket and pillow and left their room. Watching her go, Shivaay wanted to call out to her to come back, or to go after her but her words paralysed him.

 

Was it all really over? Had he screwed up so badly that there was no returning from that? Was it really the end?

 

*****

 

Author’s note: 

I wrote this OS because I have always been annoyed that Shivaay and Annika never spoke about the feelings that they had for each other before they got married. After they got married, it was almost as though they had never been in love with each other before they got married and that annoys me. It also annoyed me that we never got the time for Annika to be mad at Shivaay after the Daksh track before they launched straight into Tia’s story. So I took both of these and tried to remedy the situation however I still feel they haven’t spoken about their feelings before marriage properly. But hmm…

Though this is the end of this one shot and though I do not plan to carry on with this, if people want, if there is a popular demand for it, I will consider writing a second part to see how far they have come along in terms of moving passed what has happened and whether or not they can give their marriage a real chance. So if you would like this story to continue, please let me know and I will see what I can do. Other than that, I am working on another longer OS which I hope to post very soon, so stay tuned for that! But for now, thank you for reading this and I will see you all again very soon. x