Unwanted ~ Part 27

Khushi

 

Getting out of work early, I decided to go and pick Arushi up from school myself instead of getting our neighbour to drop her off home.

To get to the school from the office didn’t take long. I parked my car in the car park and then went inside the gates to get my baby. I looked at my watch, there was still a few minutes before they would start being let out, so I made my way up to where her classroom was.

Just as I was approaching her classroom, I saw my baby’s little head as she ran towards me.

 

“Mama!”

“Hey baby! How come you got out of class?”

“I told new sir that I saw you and Naina Maasi told sir that she would take me to you.”

 

Naina is our neighbour with whom Arushi usually came home with.

 

“New sir? Who new sir? Why wasn’t Mr Kapoor letting you out?”

 

Just as Arushi was about to start explaining, Naina approached us and started explaining to me how Mr Kapoor had left and how the kids had a substitute.

Nodding, we all turned and started making our way back to my car.

 

*****

 

It was later the same evening and Arushi was sat behind me, working on the letters and numbers she had learnt in class while I read through some files.

 

“Mama mama, guess what?”

“What happened baby?”

“My new teacher said his wife makes better jalebis than you!”

 

“Really?” I turned to see Raj leaning against the doorway, watching Arushi. She turned and saw him standing there and got up, rushing over to him.

“Papa!”

“Hi! So what did your teacher say?”

“I told him mama makes the best jalebis and he said his wife makes better ones!”

 

I saw that Raj looked confused as to why Arushi was talking about a new teacher, so I explained to him about the staffing changes.

 

“Oh I see! Well in that case, I think you should take your teacher some of your mama’s jalebis so he can see that your mom makes the best jalebis ever!”

 

I blushed at the compliment from Raj and turned my attention back to my work while he and Arushi spoke about her day.

 

“So what’s your new teachers name?”

“Mr Rai… Rai…”

 

I felt my blood run cold and I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Rai? Rai what? Raizada? Surely not. Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. I was being paranoid. There was only one Raizada family in all of India and none of the Raizada’s were teachers. Plus she hadn’t even said his name was Raizada. I needed to calm down.

 

“Mr Raichanda!”

“Raichanda?”

“Haan papa! Mr Raichanda! He’s a giant!”

“A giant?”

 

I turned back to Arushi and Raj and I watched him chuckle as she explained how tall her Mr Raichanda was and how he almost touched the ceiling.

 

“He’s even taller than you!”

“Really?”

 

Arushi nodded her head, telling Raj that her teacher was much, much taller than him. I carried on watching as they talked about giants and jalebis. Laughing, I got to my feet and made my way to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for the both of them.

 

As I was frying the samosas, Veera Mausi came to look over my shoulder.

 

“You’re making samosas for those two?”

“Haan, I thought they’d be hungry so…”

“You take such good care of them both. Obviously, you take care of Arushi because she’s your daughter but Raj too…”

“He’s my friend. He’s stood by me through so much. The least I can do is to take care of him too.”

“We’re lucky to have you in our lives, you know that don’t you.”

“And me and Arushi are lucky to have you and Raj.”

 

Taking the samosas out of the oil, I put them on a plate. Once they were slightly cool, I handed one to Veera Mausi to try.

 

“Perfect as always.”

 

Smiling, I picked up the plate and made to leave the kitchen when she stopped me.

 

“Khushi… Can I speak to you about something?”

“Of course! But let me give these first before they get cold.”

 

She nodded and I rushed upstairs to give Arushi and Raj their samosas. They were both on the floor on their tummies, talking about the letters that Arushi had learnt. Smiling, I left them to it and made my way back downstairs. Veera Mausi was sat in the living room, on the sofa, so I sat down beside her.

 

“Khushi, I know it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned this but, have you thought about my proposal to you?”

 

I looked away, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

 

“I have, but my answer is still the same.”

“But Khushi…”

“Please, I don’t want to be rude nor do I want to be disrespectful, but this is one request of yours I cannot consider.”

“But to the world you are already…”

“That’s to the world, but we know the truth. I can’t…”

 

I got up for the sofa and turned away. I couldn’t have this conversation, couldn’t even consider it. I dismissed myself and went back upstairs to find Raj and Arushi still talking about something. I leaned against the door frame, listening to them. I didn’t even realise when Veera Mausi came up behind me.

 

“Just look at them. Even you know they look like they’re father and daughter.”

 

She placed her hand on my shoulder and led me to her room.

 

“Khushi, please consider what I am saying.”

“I can’t! Despite everything, I am still married to Arnav, I’m still his wife. How can I even think about marrying someone else when…

“He got married again didn’t he?”

“But…”

“You could always file for a divorce and send the papers to him.”

“No… I can’t.”

“What about my Raj? We both know he loves you and Arushi too much, hence why he can’t seem to get married to anyone else. If you don’t marry him, I don’t think he ever will.”

“Maybe it’s time for me and Arushi to leave. If we aren’t here, then he’ll stop feeling obligated to us and he’ll move on.”

“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Raj sees Arushi as his own. He won’t just let you both go like that.”

 

I ran my hand through my hair. This was a common conversation between me and Veera Mausi. She wanted me and Raj to marry. I know she means well, but I can’t even consider it. No matter what, I am still Arnav’s wife and even though he’s married to someone else, I can’t just move on like that.

 

“I’m sorry, but my answer is still no.”

“Arushi deserves stable home.”

“She has that! She has me. I’m working always to make sure that I can fulfil all her needs. And she has Raj, who like you said, loves her like his own. She has stability.”

“But what kind of life is this for her? Today she’s only 5 and half, she is happy with her life. But soon, she’ll get older, she’ll start understanding. She’ll want to meet her real father. But you don’t want to let her do that. Your depriving her both ways!”

“How? She’s got Raj?”

“But she already knows that Raj isn’t her real father. Nor her real father, nor is he a step father. Then she’ll want to know about he real father, what will you do then?”

“Some relations don’t need a name. And what Raj and Arushi have is far more important than a name or technicalities. As for what I’ll do when she starts asking questions, when we get there, we’ll see what needs to be done. But for now, Arushi is happy and that’s all that matters to me.”

“I will respect your wishes Khushi, but I think you should start considering it. Six years have passed. You don’t plan to go back to Arnav and that should be reason enough to try and start moving on with your life. And if not for yourself, think about Raj. He isn’t getting married because he’s hoping you will accept his feelings. Does he not deserve a companion too?

“Maybe when I’m ready, I will think about it, but for now, I’m not ready.”

 

Patting me on the shoulder, Veera left the room and I watched her go, taking in her words. Getting up, I made my way back to where Arushi and Raj were. They were still on the floor, reading a book now.

I watched as Raj read the book, changing his voice for all the different characters and I watched how Arushi’s expression changed and she laughed every time he did a high voice.

I watched as she listened intently, gazing up at him. Maybe Veera Mausi was right? Maybe… No no. I couldn’t… Despite everything else, the main issue was that I still loved Arnav. Until I stopped loving him, I couldn’t even consider marrying someone else. But maybe Raj and Arushi’s relationship did need a real name?

I walked away and went into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. Taking his picture out of my bedside table, I held it close to myself.

 

“What should I do Arnav?”

 

Maybe I did need to start considering marriage to Raj. It was true, he had been turning down proposals for as long as she could remember, and when he revealed it was because he wished to marry me, I remember how I’d felt completely lost. He never pressured me to make a decision but…

I felt so confused. What was the right thing to do? What should I do? What would be the best decision for everyone? Was I being unfair to Raj? He deserved to get married, to have a companion, to start a family of his own. I don’t think I could ever give him any of that. I don’t think I can marry someone else and start my life again with them. I don’t think I could ever get intimate with another man. Even if I married Raj, I would only be able to give him half a life, be half a wife. He deserved better than that. He deserved more than what I could ever give him.

I couldn’t marry Raj. I couldn’t.

Jalebi ~ Part 22

 

The big day had finally arrived. Weeks and weeks of preparation has led up to this very day.

There were only a mere few hours left until the wedding. Everyone was rushing around, making sure that everything was in place and ready to go. Khushi was doing last minute checks on all of Payal’s things, making sure that her stuff was all packed and ready to go and Arnav was making sure that all things surrounding the actual marriage ceremony were set.

 

*****

 

“Khushi, make sure that all my dresses have been put in, the new ones.”

“Yes jiji, they’re all in.”

“I honestly can’t believe that this is happening. I’m getting married!”

“I’m so excited for you! You’re marrying the love of your life!”

“I know!”

 

Both Payal and Khushi hugged each other and squealed out of joy. In a way, it still all felt surreal to them. Payal had never thought she would find Akash again and even if she did, she didn’t think that they would end up together.

 

“Khushi, can you believe that as soon my wedding is done, were all going to have to start organising yours.”

 

Looking away, Khushi blushed. She was very much aware that Arnav had already started making little plans regarding their marriage. She couldn’t wait until it all started becoming official.

 

“Aw look at you blushing! It’s my wedding, but you’re the one blushing like crazy.”

“Jiji leave me alone.”

“Khushi, on a serious note, there’s something I need to ask you.”

“Anything, what’s up?”

“Woh, I’m nervous about tonight.”

“Don’t be, you’ve been looking forward to your wedding for months and besides, it’s not like you’re getting married to someone you don’t know.”

“No no, I’m not nervous about that. I’m nervous about… The Suhaag Raat.”

“OH.”

“Khushi, I know this is personal, but seeing as you’ve done it… What can I expect? Will it really hurt?”

“You and jiju haven’t…?”

“No, we both wanted to wait until after marriage.”

“Oh I see. Well I guess there isn’t a lot to tell, I’m sure it’s different for everyone. As far as it hurting goes, it does hurt initially, but you forget about the pain because of the immense amount of pleasure.”

“I know this is personal as hell, but do you enjoy it?”

 

Blushing, Khushi looked away. Thoughts of her passionate nights with Arnav came back to her and it was almost as though she could feel his hands and his lips on her body.

 

“Very much. It’s the most enjoyable and amazing feeling in the world. You think that the best feeling is when you have your arms wrapped around your love and when you’re kissing them, but once you’ve done it, once you’ve been one with your love like that, you realise there’s no better feeling in the world. When you can’t actually tell where your body ends and where theirs starts, that’s the best feeling.”

 

Looking away, Khushi felt the heat spread all over her body. Shaking her head, she made an excuse and left the room.

Rushing out of the room, Khushi felt her heart thumping. Leaning against the nearest wall, she took a moment to breathe. Why was she getting so turned on and breathless just thinking about that?

Almost as if he knew she was thinking about him, Arnav texted Khushi.

 

*I can’t stop thinking about you. Bet you can’t stop thinking about me either.*

 

How did he know? How did he know that she was thinking about him? Shaking her head, Khushi went back to what she was doing before.

 

*****

 

Everyone was ready and waiting for the grooms party to arrive. Khushi and all of Payal’s friends were hanging over the balcony, trying to see if they could see the groom arriving. When finally they could hear the music and see the fireworks, they all cheered, the groom had arrived. As much as Khushi was glad to see the groom, her eyes sought out Arnav. There he was, right at the front, leading the procession almost. He was wearing a gold sherwani, not as fancy as Akash’s obviously, but still beautiful. Khushi looked down at herself in her pale pink and gold sari. Their pictures were going to look amazing.

While Payal’s friends made sure that Payal looked perfect, Khushi did a last check to make sure that all of Payal’s things were in order. As she was checking Payal’s suitcase, she could hear her phone ringing.

Walking over to her phone, she saw that it was her lawyer calling. Khushi was about to take the call, but decided against it. It was Payal’s wedding, she didn’t have time to think about work. For one day, work wasn’t her priority.

 

*****

 

The grooms family had been welcomed and Akash was taken over to the mandap.

Busy ushering guests, Khushi hadn’t had time yet to actually stop and speak to Arnav. Arnav had tried to stop Khushi a number of times, but she told him she’d be back in a minute.

After waiting for almost 20 minutes, Arnav had enough. The next time he saw Khushi walk past, he grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her to himself.

 

“Arnav! Let go someone will see us.”

 

Dropping hold of Khushi’s hand, he smiled.

 

“Let them see, we don’t need to hide any more because as soon as this wedding is done, I’m telling my family about us.”

 

Biting her lip, Khushi blushed. She still couldn’t believe this was happening.

 

“You look beautiful, the way you’ve draped this sari, it really compliments your body shape.”

“Thank you, you look great too.”

“We should take a picture.”

 

Nodding, Khushi followed Arnav as he led them towards the photographer.
Catching the attention of the photographer, Arnav wrapped his arm around Khushi’s waist. The photographer asked if they were a couple. Khushi was about to say no, but Arnav said yes.

 

“Could ma’am place her hand on sirs chest then.”

 

Looking around, Khushi saw that no one was watching them and so listened to what the photographer was asking of her. Placing her hand on his chest, the photographer clicked away.

 

“Beautiful pictures and a beautiful couple!”

“Thanks.”

 

Moving away from each other, Khushi blushed.

 

“It’s nearly time for the garland exchange and stuff, I need to go and get jiji.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit then.”

 

Smiling Khushi turned away from Arnav and made her way up the stairs. Reaching Payal’s room, she saw that she was sat on her own, waiting.

 

“Come on jiji, jijaji is waiting for you!”

“Is it time for the garland exchange?”

 

Nodding, Khushi took hold of Payal’s hand and helped her up.

 

“Oh by the way Khushi, you should really call your lawyer. Your phone kept ringing over and over again. And I thought it was important so answered it. He said that you needed to call him back right now, it’s urgent.”

“It’s okay, I’ll call him tomorrow, he knows I’m busy with you’re wedding today.”

“No Khushi, I think you should really call him. He sounded very tense.”

“Okay, but first let’s get you downstairs.”

 

Getting Payal downstairs and at the mandap, she waited until the garland exchange was done before pulling her phone out of her bag and finding a quiet room to make her call.

 

“Mohit, I told you I couldn’t take any calls today.”

“I know and I’m really sorry but something’s come up and it can’t wait.”

“Okay, tell me, what’s happened.”

 

Listening to what Mohit had to say, Khushi’s smile slid off her face.

 

“What are you saying? Surely there’s been a mistake?”

“Khushi I’ve got the papers in my hand right now. And I’m comparing your signature against other papers that you have signed for me. They’re identical and it’s your pen, the one you always sign with.”

“But why would I sign such papers, it doesn’t make sense. Have you tried calling the legal team?”

“That’s the thing, because the legal team were under the business name and not under just you like I am, they no longer belong to you.”

“Wait! Are you saying…”

“I’m all you have.”

“Look let me speak to Arnav and then I’ll call you back. This has to be a big mistake.”

 

Her head was spinning. How could this be happening? Surely there had to be some mistake, Arnav wouldn’t…

Going back to where the rituals for the wedding were taking place. Locating Arnav, she walked over to him, grabbed him by the hand and dragged him back to the quiet room that she had been in.

 

“Hey, what’s up? Someone’s impatient.”

 

Looping his arms around her waist, Arnav pulling Khushi into himself and started kissing her neck.

 

“I was getting bored of the wedding, I’d much rather be here alone with you.”

 

Pushing Arnav away with all her might, Khushi folded her arms over her chest. Arnav was confused. She’d never pushed him away like that.

 

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

“You tell me what the matter is.”

“Khushi, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Have you received any work related calls today?”

“Work related? No I haven’t. Why?”

“Well I received a call from Mohit.”

“Mohit? As in your lawyer?”

“Yes. My lawyer, who also happens to be my only employee at the moment.”

“You’re only employee? What do you mean? You have a whole team of people working behind you.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Khushi what are you saying? I don’t understand what’s going on.”

 

Taking her phone back out again, Khushi opened up the documents that Mohit had sent her.

 

“Look! Just look at these papers!”

 

Arnav took the phone from her and started looking at the documents, his eyes wide as he realised what they were. He kept reading, not understanding how this could be happening. At the bottom of each page, he saw his signature alongside Khushi’s. But he didn’t sign these papers? But they were in his handwriting!

Getting to the final page, Arnav looked at Khushi who now had tears streaming down her face. He took a step towards her, only to have her step away from him.

 

“Don’t come near me!”

“Khushi I swear, I swear I don’t know what these papers are, I’ve never seen them before! I’d never do this to you!”

“So these papers signed themselves did they Arnav? I don’t understand how I could’ve signed them but I’ve looked at the dates and backtracked. The day these papers were signed, it was the day after we spent the night at the farmhouse.”

“I really don’t know…”

“Stop saying you don’t know! These papers didn’t produce themselves! You must have got me to sign these alongside other papers so I didn’t read what it was saying. And you picked a day when you knew I was distracted. You had to have known something about it, it didn’t just happen.”

 

Running his hand through his hair and yanking his hair. How could this have happened?

 

“Khushi… I swear I said no, this wasn’t meant to happen, when I started falling in love with you I put a stop to…”

“Wait! You actually planned… There was an actual plan to take my business from me?”

“I didn’t…”

“At one point, was there a plan to steal my business from me, yes or no?”

“Yes but…”

“Oh my god!”

 

Turning around, Khushi raised her hand to her head. She couldn’t believe this.

 

“So you actually… You had a plan to steal my business from me? How could you? Wait… Our relationship… Everything between us…”

 

He took a step towards her, he needed to explain, he couldn’t let her believe something that wasn’t true.

 

“I’ll admit, there was a plan, but I swear, I never wanted to go through with it, I never had a single intention of going through with it. And when things started happening between us…”

“Did you try to woo me so it would be easier for you to steal my business from me?”

“No! No! Not at all! I genuinely fell in love with you, Khushi you need to believe me.”

“Did you sleep with me that night in the farmhouse so that I’d be distracted the next day?”

“You know I didn’t. You know this isn’t true.”

“Did you sleep with me so you can steal my business?!”

 

He could tell she was getting angrier as the moment went on. She was angry and didn’t want to listen to what he saying and he couldn’t blame her. He probably would be this angry too.

 

“Baby… Please, believe me…”

“Should I tell you the truth Arnav. I don’t give a crap that you’ve taken my business. I mean I do, but what’s hurting me is that in order to steal my business from me, you stole my heart. I gave you my everything. I trusted you, I loved you, I gave you my heart, my soul, my body, my everything and you…”

 

Tears now streamed down Arnav’s face. How could he make her see that he didn’t do this to her?

 

“Did you ever love me? Everything that happened between us, was that you being tactical or did you actually do it because you cared for me?”

“Khushi, you know the answer to that.”

“I don’t know anything right now. I have never felt so confused.”

 

Wiping her tears, Khushi turned away. Arnav grabbed hold of her hand.

 

“Khushi please, don’t leave like this. You have to believe me, I didn’t do this to you.”

 

Pulling her hand out of his grip, she could really feel her temper bubbling up now.

 

“You keep saying you didn’t do this to me but you also admitted that there was a plan! How do you expect me to trust you?”

 

She turned away again. She couldn’t stay here.

 

“I need to go and talk to Mohit.”

“But the wedding…”

“To hell with the wedding!”

 

She turned away and was about to leave the room, but stopped and turned round one last time.

 

“It’s over Arnav. We’re done.”

 

She left the room and Arnav watched as she walked straight out of the front door. He should’ve gone after her, but her words had left him paralysed.

 

“It’s over Arnav.”

 

Was she going to end their relationship just like that? How could she do that? They had spoken about marriage! Their wedding was as good as planned! How could she end things and walk away now? Couldn’t she see that he loved her, that he wouldn’t do that to her? How could she think so low of him? Then his mind changed directions as he began thinking about the logistics of what had just happened.

How did this happen? Akash had said he wouldn’t do anything? He’d said he was happy that Arnav was happy with Khushi… But Akash also knew what happened that night when he and Khushi had gone to the farmhouse. Had he used that knowledge and acted on it? Did he go to Khushi because he knew she would be distracted? Arnav needed to find out and he needed to find out now. But how could he do anything with a wedding going on?

Unwanted ~ Part 26

Arnav

 

My work in Mumbai was wrapping up nicely. Most of the issues that the AR branch was having here was getting wrapped up quite nicely. I still needed to stay here a little longer, to make sure everything was running like clockwork, but on the whole, my time here was coming to an end. And as much as I prefer Delhi to Mumbai, I wasn’t ready to go home yet. I felt like I had something here in Mumbai. Something that was making me feel hopeful. Was I delaying going home for a feeling? Yes. Was I being stupid? Probably.

But I wasn’t ready to go back to Delhi. I needed to stay here. My heart was telling me I needed to be here. And for once, I was going to let myself listen to my heart.

 

*****

 

Much to my distaste, nothing came up, and my time here was almost done. I had 3 days left in Mumbai and then I was set to go home. I didn’t want to go home, but at the same time staying here without an aim didn’t suit me either. I thought something would hit me, something would come at me, but nothing was happening. I couldn’t let myself hang around here, twiddling my thumbs.

But being here on my own was working for me. I didn’t have to deal with Nimisha, or Pari or Di. I was at peace. I had my house, so I was comfortable here, and I didn’t have to worry about anyone bothering me.

It gave me time to really think about Khushi, to do some more research if I could find any leads on her, but I couldn’t. She’d vanished completely. I know for a fact she left Delhi, her trail ended at the Delhi train station, but where she went from there, I had no clue. She could be anywhere in India. She may have even left India. She could ever still be in Delhi, there was just no way for me to know.

Getting up from my laptop, I made my way to the kitchen to fix myself some dinner. Settling on some pasta, I put the pasta on to boil and started preparing the sauce when my phone began to ring.

For a moment, I couldn’t decide if I should bother to go and see who it was, after all it would probably be just Di or Nimi. But I decided to go and check it out. Making my way back to my bedroom, I picked up my phone from the bedside table and saw that it was Veer. Veer was an old friend who used to live near us before he moved to Mumbai to start up a school. I took the call.

 

“Hey Veer, how are you buddy?”

 

Holding the phone to my ear, I made my way back into the kitchen to make sure that my pasta didn’t burn.

 

“Arnav, how you doing buddy? Has Mumbai been good to you?”

“It really has. I’ve been enjoying it here, really peaceful.”

 

We had a little chat, catching up on what we’d been up to since we last spoke a few weeks ago, until his tone changed.

 

“Listen, Arnav, I need to ask you a huge favour.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“One of my teachers has literally just resigned. He has just emailed me his resignation now and has said he won’t be in work tomorrow. I’ve called the agency and said they can’t do anything for me so last minute and I don’t have any substitute teachers at the moment because I have so many teaches on maternity leave. So I was wondering… Do you think you could step in for me. Just for tomorrow?”

“Wait what?”

 

Was Veer insane? How could I possibly teach? I’m a business man, I couldn’t possibly teach primary school children.

 

“As much as I’m flattered, I think you’re crazy! I’m a business man, I have zero experience with teaching.”

“They’re only little, they’re 5 year olds. All you have to do is teach them basic maths and English and play games with them. The lessons are all planned, you just have to follow the schedule.”

“If it’s so easy, surely you can find someone else?”

“I probably could, but I would need to have checks done to make sure that they are able to work with kids and I’d also need to go through qualifications. Arnav, I’m asking you because I know you have no criminal records, you’re safe to work with kids and you’re perfectly qualified. If it wasn’t so late in the evening, I definitely would try and sort something, but Arnav, you really are my only option right now.”

“I don’t know…”

“Please? Just for tomorrow. I’ll spend all of tomorrow trying to find someone else so you don’t have to come back, but please? I really need your help.”

 

As I watched my pasta bubble away, I actually contemplated what Veer was asking of me. I should have said no, of course I should’ve. It was crazy, how could I teach 5 year olds? But something about this request was appealing to me. It would be something different, a real adventure, even if it was only for a day. The rational side of me knew that I wasn’t fit to teach kids for even an hour, forget a whole day. No… I couldn’t do it, shouldn’t do it…

 

*****

 

“Class B, this is Mr Raizada. Mr Kapoor had to leave suddenly so Mr Raizada is taking your class today. Everyone, make sure you are good and don’t cause any trouble. I’ll be back to check on you at lunchtime.”

 

Veer pat me on the shoulder, wished me luck and then left. I must be insane. I actually decided to come here. Me, who has never taught a single child anything before. But I guess it is only for a day, and they’re only little. How hard could it possibly be?

I looked down at the kids, all looking up at me with their big, bright, curious eyes.

 

“Hi… I’m Mr Raizada. I will be taking your class today.”

 

I walked over to the desk and saw that I was meant to be teaching the children the letters H, I and J in the morning and then in the afternoon we were going to do counting exercises. It seemed straight forward enough. Looking at my watch, I realised that there was more than enough time to go through the letters, so I decided to play a little getting to know each other game, to help them become familiar with me.

Moving back I stood at the front of the class. They were all still staring at me, it was slightly off putting and intimidating, but I did sign up for this.

 

“Would everyone like to come and sit in a circle? We can play some games.”

 

They all looked at each other, but then started shuffling. I helped them to move their little tables out of the way and they made a big circle on the floor. I went and stood in the middle, looking around at all the kids.

 

“In this game, when it throw you the ball, you have to tell me what your name is and one thing you like and one thing you wish.”

 

Just as I was about to throw the ball to one of the kids, a little boy put his hand up.

 

“Yes?”

“Sir, are you a giant? My papa is big but you are even bigger than my papa.”

 

I found myself chuckling and I saw the kids nod in agreement to each other. I mean I didn’t think I was that tall, after all Akash was taller than me in our family, but I guess I was taller than a lot of people so I understood what they meant.

 

“No I’m not a giant but I know I’m very big.”

 

They all nodded, accepting the answer and then we began to go round the circle. One by one they told me their names and I tried my best to remember as many of them. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t really remember the facts they told me, I just needed to learn their names. I didn’t even really need to learn their names. In a few hours, I would leave this place and I’d probably never see any of these kids ever again.

I went round, one by one and took their names in. Some of them told me that they liked fairly obscure things, but I guess that helped as it’d help me remember them.
I got to a little girl, whose hair was braided and whose eyes seemed incredibly familiar.

 

“What’s your name?”

“Arushi.”

“That’s a nice name. What’s one thing you like Arushi?”

“I like my mamas special jalebis! They’re the best!”

 

The mention of jalebis made me think of Khushi. And like this little girl, I loved and missed Khushi’s special jalebis that she would make for me.

 

“I bet my wife makes better jalebis than your mama.”

“Never! My mama makes the bestest special jalebis just for me. She says my papa loves them too!”

“Really? Okay, maybe we will have a competition one day, but for now tell me one wish you have.”

 

The little girls smile fell and almost instantly she replied.

 

“I wish I could see my papa.”

 

I looked at her little face. Moments before she had been lively and teased me about her mother making better jalebis than Khushi and now it looked as though all colour from her face was gone.

An innate instinct within me made me want to hug the child in front of me, I don’t know why. I don’t know this child, why was I feeling such a pull towards her? Pushing the thought away, I nodded and then moved onto the next child.

As I carried on my activity, my attention stayed with the little girl who wished for her father. There was something about this girl…

 

*****

 

Grabbing a board pen, I went over to the whiteboard and wrote out the three letters that we were to focus on. I pointed to the first letter.

 

“Does anyone know what letter this is?”

 

Only a few little hands shot up, one of them being Arushi. I asked her what the letter was and she correctly identified that it was a H and then proceeded to tell me that she had a H in her name.

I told her she was correct and then moved onto the next letter and the next child.

The morning session came to a close and the children all went to have their lunch. I escorted them to the canteen and then came back to my classroom to find Veer waiting for me.

 

“So, how was the morning buddy?”

“It actually went pretty well. The kids are all really well behaved and they’re just generally a good group of kids.”

“I’m glad it’s going well. I remember at the start of the year they were complete pains.”

“Have you found a teacher for them?”

“I haven’t. But I have a couple of people who I’m waiting to hear back from.”

 

I nodded, taking in what Veer was saying.

 

“Maybe… Maybe I can keep filling in until you find a permanent replacement. It’s not good for such little kids to have such instability.”

“Arnav… Are you sure?”

 

I thought about what I was saying. Did I really want to do this? But there was something about being around these kids that I was enjoying. I was drawn to them and I wanted to be responsible for educating them.

 

“I’m sure.”

Jalebi ~ Part 21

Devyani Raizada was a very smart woman. What her son and her grandsons refused to admit to her, she already knew. Before her son got married, he had been adamant in making her believe that there was no woman in his life. A few months later, he told her there was someone whom he wanted to marry. Akash had been acting coy for months before finally revealing that he had proposed to someone. And now Arnav… She could read Arnav most clearly because the woman that he wanted was right in front of them all.

For weeks during the wedding preparations, Devyani observed the way Arnav interacted with Khushi. She watched how at every moment, Arnav would find opportunities to speak to Khushi, she watched how their hands brushed against the others. She watched as Khushi blushed when he stepped to close to her. Devyani was certain that there was something there between Arnav and Khushi, but it didn’t seem that anyone was about to tell her about it just yet.

It was then decided by Devyani that as soon as Akash’s wedding was out of the way, she would sit Arnav and Khushi down and speak to them about what was going on between them and what their intentions were regarding each other.

 

*****

 

Knocking on the door to Khushi’s apartment, Arnav took a deep breath, made sure his tie was straight, and then waited.

 

Throwing the door open, Khushi smiled and ushered him in.

 

“Mama, papa, Arnav’s here.”

 

After much planning and discussing, Arnav and Khushi found an available evening when Arnav could come round and have dinner with Khushi and her parents.

After a full afternoon of cooking and cleaning, Lalita was finally prepared to meet Arnav.

Coming out of the bedroom, Khushi’s father smiled and walked over to Arnav.

 

“What a gentleman, he rings on the doorbell of his own apartment.”

“Namaste uncle. And I do have a key but I couldn’t use it, after all I have rented this place to Khushi and considering she is insistent on paying me, I can hardly just walk in.”

“Fair enough my boy, fair enough. Any way, these beautiful roses, are they for my beautiful daughter?”

“Erm…”

 

Arnav looked between Khushi and her father before shaking his head. He saw Khushi’s mother emerging from the kitchen and walked over to her and handed her the flowers.

 

“These were actually for aunty.”

 

Lalita took the roses that Arnav was handing to her and smiled. They were a beautiful shade of deep red.

 

“Why thank you so much, you really didn’t need to. Let me just go and put these in water.”

 

As Khushi’s mother walked back into the kitchen, Khushi raised her eyebrow at Arnav.

 

“Anyway, why are we stood here? Come on through my boy, let’s sit before dinner is ready.”

 

Leading Arnav into the living area, Khushi’s father sat down and then Arnav took a seat opposite him. Khushi watched as the two men bonded instantly, talking about business and sport.

A little later, dinner was served. Khushi’s parents sat on one side of the table, while Arnav and Khushi sat opposite them.

 

“So Arnav, what really are your intentions regarding our daughter?”

 

Arnav put down his fork and turned to Khushi, who placed a hand on his knee under the table.

 

“Woh… Uncle… I didn’t want to say anything until after Akash and Payal wedding, but seeing as you’re asking. I want to marry your daughter. And I was going to ask for her hand properly once Akash and Payal’s wedding was done. But yeah…”

 

Gasping, Lalita raised her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. Khushi looked down, smiling to herself.

 

“You want… You’ve thought about marrying Khushi.”

“Jee uncle. I have thought about marrying Khushi for a while now. I’m serious about your daughter and I really do love her. So with your permission, I would like to marry Khushi in the near future.”

 

Turning his attention away from Arnav, Karan looked to Khushi who kept her gaze down, blushing furiously.

 

“Khushi, do you want to marry Arnav too.”

 

Not looking up, Khushi nodded slightly.

 

“I mean, it is very obvious that you care about our daughter and she cares about you. But Arnav, I will really need to speak to your family. More formality than anything else, but I need to.”

“I completely understand. And I would like to speak to my elders first anyway. Nani won’t be pleased if I don’t tell her myself.”

“That sounds like quite a good plan. Well I’m glad we have an understanding. Maybe once Payal’s wedding is done we will be able to start planning yours and Khushi’s soon.”

 

Everyone content with what had been discussed went back to enjoying their food.

Whilst still talking to her parents, Arnav dropped his hand under the table and placed it on Khushi’s knee. For a while, his hand had remained stationary, not budging from her knee. However now, his hand was moving up, and was resting on her thigh. Catching his hand, she stopped him in his tracks, but his fingers continued to caress her thigh. Even through her shelwar, she could feel the heat of his hand on her skin.

Arnav kept her hand on her leg, no longer moving it up, but he refused to move it. They all carried on eating, making small talk.

Once dinner was done, Khushi and her mother cleared up.

 

“Any way, Shashi and Garima called us round, they want to discuss some wedding related stuff. So we’re going to head off now.”

“When are you going to be back?”

“Were going to stay the night over there because we have to go with them to see some family early tomorrow morning.”

“Is it okay if I stay at home, I have work tomorrow and there’s some stuff I need to go through.”

“Of course. Arnav beta, you stay for a while too.”

 

Nodding, Arnav thanked his lucky stars that her parents were leaving them alone. He couldn’t wait to have some alone time with her.

A little while later, Khushi’s parents left.

 

“So…”

“So.”

“Looks like we have the whole place to ourselves.”

 

He moved closer to Khushi, closing the gap between them. Placing his hands on her waist, he pulled her into himself before lifting her off her feet and making their way towards the bedroom.

 

“Arnav we can’t…”

 

She couldn’t finish her words because he placed her down onto the bed and covered her lips with his own. Placing his hands on her waist, he held her down on the bed, touching her through her clothes.

Coming up for air, Arnav unbuttoned his suit jacket and put it aside before loosening his tie.

 

“Smart Singh Raizada’s done for the day?”

“Smart Singh Raizada was for your parents. For you, I’m Sexually Frustrated Singh Raizada.”

“Horny Singh Raizada.”

“You know it baby. Now, do you want to take your clothes off or shall I?”

“Arnav we can’t…”

“I know, I know, but surely we can make out.”

“Clothes don’t need to come off to make out.”

“They do, because I need to see your sexy body and be able to feel your soft skin.”

“But will you be able to control yourself?”

“I promise, I will.”

 

Laughing, Khushi pulled back and undid the dori of her kameez and pulled it off over her head. She moved back in, cupping Arnav’s face, ready to kiss him when he stopped her.

 

“Shelwar and let me get my clothes off too.”

“Arnav are you sure you’ll be able to control yourself?”

“I need to feel your skin against mine even if we aren’t making love.”

 

Blushing, Khushi tentatively pulled at the strings of her shelwar, but Arnav stopped her. He undid the stings himself and then hooked his fingers into her waist band, pulling her shelwar away from her every so slowly, giving her time to say no if she wanted. She didn’t.

Moving back, he took her in. She was wearing a lacy light blue pair of panties and bra. He then turned his attention back to his clothes. Moving his hands away, Khushi unbuttoned his shirt for him while he made light work of his trousers.

Once clothes were off and they remained just in their underwear, Arnav pushed Khushi down onto the bed, moving over her, taking her lips between his once more. His hands rested on her exposed waist, holding her down while his lips caused havoc on her neck. One hand in his hair, the other on the back of his neck, Khushi hooked her leg around his waist, rubbing herself against him.

Gone were the days when she would shy away. When they made out, she was bold, demanding, showed him exactly what she wanted from him.

Arnav could feel himself harden and it frustrated him knowing that they couldn’t, whereas Khushi still found it amusing that she had such an effect on him.

 

“Oh look, someone’s jumped up for attention.”

 

Pushing Arnav onto his back, Khushi moved over him, sitting over his hardness, rubbing it gently with her bottom as she leaned back in to kiss him. Arnav’s hands were on Khushi’s back as she continued to kiss him while she ground her body against his.

Arnav groaned as the friction she was creating got too much for him. He needed to rip her clothes away and bury himself deep in her body. He needed her so bad and it was evident from the way she was moving over him that she too really needed him.

How were they going to be able to hold off until after marriage?

 

*****

 

Much, much later, Arnav walked out of the bathroom after a cold shower and saw Khushi get into her pyjamas after her shower. He’d got dressed again, much to his dismay, and was now ready to set off for home.

Coming over to Khushi, he pressed a kiss on her cheek.

 

“Told you I could control myself.”

“I’m impressed, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I’m promising you now. I won’t make love to you again til our wedding night.”

 

The idea of their wedding night sent a shiver of excitement through her body. It’s not like they’d be doing anything that they hadn’t done before. But it was the thought of doing it as Mr and Mrs Arnav Singh Raizada for the first time that excited her. Mrs Khushi Singh Raizada… Mrs Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada. Mrs Khushi Raizada… She played with all the variations that she could choose from.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Mrs Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada or Mrs Khushi Raizada?”

“What?”

“My name after marriage. There’s so many options.”

 

Arnav wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

 

“I was thinking Mrs Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.”

“That’s so long though!”

“I know, but I don’t think a woman should have to drop her maiden name after marriage. Personally, I don’t mind how you choose to name yourself, if you choose not to take my name at all, I don’t mind. It won’t change the fact that you will be mine.”

 

He had a point. A name was a name. However she chose to be known after marriage, it wouldn’t change the fact that she was Mrs Arnav Singh Raizada at heart. Khushi placed her hand over Arnav’s heart and rested her head on Arnav’s chest.

 

“What did I do to get such an understanding and sensible person in my life?”

 

Wrapping his arms around her, Arnav placed a kiss on her head.

 

“I like it. Mrs Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. KKGSR. Wife of ASR. I like it.”

“Then that’s who you will be. I can’t wait to make you KKGSR.”

“I can’t either.”

 

*****

 

“Arnav… Let me go…”

“I haven’t held onto you to let you go.”

“What is it with you and pulling me away when there’s a houseful of people?”

“The sneaking around is what makes our relationship more fun don’t you think?”

 

Khushi couldn’t disagree, he did have a point. Something about sneaking around when everyone was around was exciting. It caused adrenaline to run through her body.

Today was Payal and Akash’s sangeet and they should be out there cheering for everyone who was performing, instead they were locked away in the kitchen again. But Khushi wasn’t going to allow this again not after they got caught last time. Pushing him away, Khushi moved across to the other side of the kitchen.

 

“Khushi…”

“No no no.”

 

Moving towards her again, Arnav pulled Khushi into his arms and attempted to kiss her once more.

 

“Arnav Singh Raizada.”

“Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.”

“That’s not me yet.”

“In my head that’s who you are.”

“If you keep behaving like this I’ll only ever be KKGSR in your head.”

 

And with that, Khushi turned away. Arnav watched her go. She was annoyed. God he loved it when she was annoyed. She looked so sexy when she was angry with him. But he knew something needed to be done to make her happy again.

 

*****

 

After running around and getting everyone on board with his plan, Arnav was ready to make Khushi happy with him again.

When the time was right, Arnav signalled everyone to get started and he turned his attention to Khushi who was sat beside Payal.

 

 

As Arnav started signing and dancing like SRK, Khushi couldn’t help but feel a smile spread across her face. No way was he doing this for her. Payal nudged Khushi and raised her eyebrow as Khushi got to her feet.

 

“Babul ki galliyan na chad ke jaane.”

 

And so it began. The fight Anjali and Rahul had all those years ago became Arnav and Khushi’s argument. Khushi loved how fitting the song was. Of course she wasn’t being serious about what she said in the kitchen. But she loved this any way and really got into the music.

When their performance ended, Arnav pulled Khushi aside, trapping her between his arms.

 

“So… Will you leave your fathers home and come and live with me.”

“We’ll have to see Raizada, only time will tell if our relationship really was formed many many many years ago.”

 

And with that, Khushi ducked under Arnav arm and ran away. Laughing, Arnav watched her rush away.

 

“Pagal.”

Unwanted ~ Part 25

Khushi

As I walked towards my bedroom, I thought about what me and Veera mausi had talked about. She and Raj had always said that they thought I should tell Arnav about Arushi. When I first found out that I was pregnant, they had wanted me to tell him, but I didn’t. After she was born, they wanted me to contact him, but I couldn’t…

Sitting down on my bed, I opened up my bedside cabinet and took out the framed photograph of Arnav. Putting it down, I went over to the wardrobe and pulled out his jumper and slipped it on. These were the only two things of his that I had taken when I left. Coming back to the bed, I picked his picture back up and held it close to my chest. I still remembered the day I left. I played it all out in my head over and over again over the last 6 years…

 

*Flashback*

 

I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling thirsty and I found that there was no water in our room. Reaching out for my dressing gown at the end of the bed, I picked it up and slipped it on. Carefully peeling the sheets back, I got out of bed quietly so that I wouldn’t disturb the slumbering Arnav.

It was a early hours of the morning and we’d only gotten to sleep a little while ago after making love for the umpteenth time. He was exhausted and needed sleep.

Once out of bed, I quietly made my way to the door and out of our room. On my way to the kitchen, I saw that Nimisha’s bedroom light was still on. That was weird? It was almost 5am, why was her bedroom light on? I made my way towards her room, maybe she just forgot to switch it off?

As I moved towards her room, I heard sobbing and so moved closer until I was at the doorway. Peering into her room, I saw she was sat on the edge of her bed, her hands over her bulging belly, while tears flowed down her face. I moved closer to the doorway, wanting to go in and comfort her, but I stopped myself when I realised that she was talking to her baby.

 

“My sweetheart, how are you? Mama can’t wait to hold you… I… I don’t know how things are going to be when you arrive, but I promise, you’ll always have me even if you don’t have anyone else. Your papa… He may not accept us now, but in sure he will when you arrive. After all you are his baby, the moment he sees you, he won’t be able to not fall in love with you. Don’t worry, we will be a happy a little family, just you wait and watch baby.”

 

Moving away from the door, I realised I had tears in my own eyes. I stepped back and then as if in autopilot, I somehow ended back up in my bedroom.

Slipping my dressing gown off, I got back into bed and cuddled up to Arnav, wrapping my arm around him, holding him close to myself. I rested my face on his shoulder, my arm draped across his chest. I placed a light kiss on his neck as I thought about what I just witnessed.

Nimisha looked so… Broken. So defeated. She was never like that during the day. During the day she looked like she had so much hope, and was so happy. But what I saw just now…

I looked up at Arnav. He had promised me that all this stuff with Nimisha wouldn’t come between us, but was I being unfair? That baby, the innocent little baby that Nimisha was carry, they deserved a father. Everyone deserved to have a father. I knew in my heart, that Arnav was keeping away from Nimisha because of me and his love for me. But in keeping away from Nimisha, it meant he was keeping away from her baby too… His baby… Their baby. And that wasn’t fair. The baby was of no fault.

Sitting up in bed, I ran my hand through my hair. As long as I was around, Arnav would never be able to accept his baby. He would always stay away from the baby and Nimi because of me. Could I allow myself to be the reason a child grew up without their fathers love? I turned my attention to him, and took in his relaxed expressions. He was at so much peace right now. He hadn’t looked this peaceful whilst sleeping in weeks. I knew that I was the reason behind this ease that he had now. That I had helped him to relax in this manner. I knew he needed me as much as I needed him, but the baby… Me and Arnav, we were grown adults. We would be able to manage without each other, but the baby, the baby would come into this world completely helpless. Yes, the baby would have Nimisha but they needed their dad too.

Tugging on my hair, I didn’t know what to do. On one hand, I had to stay by Arnav. As his wife, I needed to be by him through this whole ordeal. And more than that, I had promised to spend the rest of my life with him. But, in doing that, I could come between him and his child.

I sat on the bed, thinking it all through. Swinging my legs out of bed, I made my decision. I knew what I needed to do, what the right thing to do was.

Looking outside, I saw that it was nearly sunrise and I knew that if I was serious about what I wanted to do, then I needed to do it soon.

I made my way over to my wardrobe and pulled out a small suitcase and quickly started putting in some clothes and essentials that I would need. I packed my toiletries, and then went over to Arnav’s wardrobe and pulled out my favourite jumper of his and put it in.

One may say that I was making a very rash decision, but I knew that if I didn’t do this now, I’d never be able to.

Once I was packed, I got dressed, making sure that I had money and my cards on me. Looking around the room, I picked up his photograph that was sat on my bedside table and pushed that into my suitcase as well.

Putting my suitcase and my handbag down by the door, I came back over to Arnav. Tears pricked my eyes as I realised what I was doing. I was leaving him… Breaking my promise to him. Sitting on the bed, I brushed his hair out of his eyes and placed a kiss on his forehead. Was I actually going to leave the man I loved?

Running my hand through his hair and then down his face, I realised how much I actually loved him. But I knew I needed to do this, if I didn’t, his baby would never get his love.

Moving back over to my side of the bed, I took out some paper and a pen out of my bedside drawer and wrote him a note.

 

“To my love…

By the time you read this, I will be gone. I’ll be long gone. I don’t have much time to write a long letter, explaining everything that’s going on in my head, but I just want you to know, I didn’t plan on leaving on. But I realised something tonight, and that’s that, as long as I am with you, your baby will never get your full attention or your love. And that isn’t right. The baby is innocent and she or he deserves all your love. Due to this, I am leaving.

I’m sorry Arnav, I really am. I wish I didn’t have to leave, I don’t want to leave, but in my heart I know this is the best option, the only option. I hope you can forgive me.

No matter what happens Arnav, know that I love you more than I love myself. You are my true love, my soulmate, my better half. But just because we love each other doesn’t mean we should be together. You always belonged to Nimisha, and this baby, your baby, it’s a sign that you were never truly mine.

I love you Arnav, I always will. And know that wherever I am, I will always love you and think about you. But I have to go. Please don’t try to find me, please accept my decision and please accept your baby. And please, be happy. That’s all I want.

Take care of yourself. I love you.

Forever yours no matter whare I am,

Khushi x.”

 

I went out to the poolside and picked a rose from the bush. Placing the rose and the note on his bedside table, I leaned down, pressed a kiss onto his lips, my tears falling onto his face. In that moment, I kind of wished he would wake up, that he’d see me and tell me to stop. But he didn’t wake up, he didn’t move, he was deep asleep.

Pulling away, I got back onto my feet and made my way over to the door. Turning to take in his slumbering form one last time, I was ready to go…

 

*****

 

Leaving Shantivan, I got into the first auto that came my way. When the man asked me where I wanted to go, I was stumped for a moment. Where did I want to go?

 

“Train station.”

 

I looked at Shantivan one last time before we set off. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. Upon arriving at the train station, I realised that I now had another decision to make, where was I going next? I knew I couldn’t stay here, if I did, he’d find me instantly. And I couldn’t go to my family as they wouldn’t understand why I was making this decision. I needed to go somewhere, far away from anyone I knew so I could really start my life again, far, far away from Arnav’s life. I picked the first city that came to mind. Mumbai.

Mumbai was far away enough for Arnav not to find me. Plus with so many people there, even if he found out I was there, it would take him a while to find me. Also going there, I’d be much more likely to be able to find myself a good job.

Using my card, I withdrew all my money from my account. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to buy me a ticket and would be enough to find me somewhere to live for a few weeks. As soon as I got there, I would need to start looking for a job, otherwise I’ll run out of money very fast.

Getting myself a train ticket to Mumbai, I quickly sent Arnav one last text.

 

“I love you baby.”

 

Switching my phone off, I pulled the SIM card out and brought myself a new one. I couldn’t risk using my existing one, he’d be able to track me down if he wanted to.

My train pulled up and I got on. Taking my seat, I took a last look a Delhi station. Only god knew if I would ever come back here again. As the train began to move, I took my old SIM card out and threw it out of the window.

This was a new beginning.

 

*****

 

An entire day later, I finally arrived in Mumbai. I was exhausted, I was hungry, I felt empty inside and my eyes were sore from all the crying that I had done on my way here. As soon as the train had pulled away from Delhi station, I started crying. And I kept crying for ages. How had I actually left everything that was important to me behind? How had I left Arnav? But there was no turning back now. Leaving Mumbai station, I really didn’t know where to go next. So I just sat down at a bench outside the station and picked up the newspaper that lay beside me. Maybe I’d find an advert for a job or for a place to stay. Flicking through the newspaper, I saw a number of adverts that could be relevant to me, so I slipped the newspaper into my bag. I would go through it properly later and call up people to see what they had.

Still sat at the bench, I tried to work out where to go next, but then I heard the sound of the bells in a mandir. Maybe going to the temple would be a good idea. I needed as much blessings as I could get. Getting up and getting hold of my bags, I followed the sound of the bells and soon enough, I found myself a huge mandir. As it was still early, the mandir was fairly quiet, not many people were around. I put my suitcase aside, hoping that no one would steal it.

As I made my way up to the mandir, I realised that there really wasn’t a lot of people around yet. There were a few other people there, other than that it was empty. I got right up to the front and put my hands together.

 

“Devi Maiyya, I am starting a new life, I have left everyone I care for and love, and I am trying to start my life over. You know why I have done what I have done, you know that I have done this with good intentions. Please bless me and help me settle into my new life. Please take care of my Arnav and my family for me. I know he is going to be very hurt, knowing I’ve left him, but please help him get over that and help him move forward with his life.

Please help me find somewhere to stay and help me find a job.”

 

I ended my prayer and as I turned to leave, I saw a middle aged woman watching me. She was stood fairly close to me, meaning that she would have heard everything that I said. I just smiled and moved to brush past her when she stopped me.

 

“Child, I’m sorry for overhearing your prayers, but from what I have heard I have come to the understanding that you need somewhere to stay?”

“I…”

 

I didn’t know what to say. What was I meant to say to a random woman who had been eavesdropping on my conversation with Devi Maiyya?

 

“I’m Veera. One of my sons and his wife have just moved out so I have a couple of rooms spare in my house. I live with my elder son, but he’s currently trying to set up his business so he’s never home. I have put an ad in the paper, but no one has got back to me yet…”

 

I considered what the lady was saying and to be fair, she didn’t seem like some kind of thug or someone who was messing with me. She seemed genuine and sweet. I decided to listen to what she had to say. After all, where else did I have to go?

I agreed to go and view the room and talk prices with her.

 

*Flashback end*

 

Deciding to take a chance on Veera mausi and taking her up on her offer was probably one of the best decisions I had ever made. The room that she was offering was a large one, and the rate she was asking for was more than affordable for me.

Initially when I had first moved in, I was responsible for cooking my own food. But as Veera mausi and I got to know each other better, meals started becoming more of a joint thing. I would help her in the kitchen to prepare food and we would eat together as opposed to eating the food we prepared for ourselves on our own.

She didn’t ask me about my past, or where I had come from and why. She understood that I had my reasons for leaving my life behind and she could tell that it wasn’t an easy decision that I had made. She could tell that I was hurting due to it. But she never asked, she gave me my space.

However, not long after moving in, I found myself opening up to her, telling her about everything. Once I told her all about myself, I found that we instantly grew closer and I started feeling more at home.

A few days after moving in, I found myself a little job. It wasn’t much, it was just cleaning someone’s house during the day and teaching their child maths and English in the evening, but the pay was good and it was enough for me to be able to pay my rent and put some money aside for other things.

For a while I hadn’t really met Raj properly. He would leave very early in the morning and would return late at night. But I knew he was around and he knew I was here too. Raj had been busy trying to get his business together and up and running. Once his business started to settle, that’s when we finally properly sat down and spoke to each other. It was also then that he offered me the job of his PA. I had told him that I couldn’t, I wasn’t qualified enough, but he had told me that his business was still only starting up, there wouldn’t be a lot for me to have to handle just yet. He and Veera mausi had faith in me so I took the job. It turned out that I was very good at it, not the best, but I managed to make it work.

Three months into my life in Mumbai and I had a sense of direction. Things were starting to settle down for me… Or so I thought.

 

*Flashback*

 

Getting up from the breakfast table, I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. What was happening to me? For the last three morning, as soon as I had my breakfast, I was sick. I didn’t understand what was happening to me.

Veera mausi rushed into my room after me and waited outside the bathroom.

 

“Khushi, are you okay dear?”

 

Once I felt my stomach settle, I rinsed out my mouth and washed my face properly before getting out of the bathroom.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

I felt so weak, I felt like I couldn’t get the words out, so I just nodded. Raj knocked on my open bedroom door. I nodded for him to come in. He came inside and handed me a large glass of water.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Veera mausi made me sit down on the bed and she gestured for Raj to leave.

 

“Khushi, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Of course.”

“Beta… I know this is a very personal question, but I need to ask, have you had your period since you have been here with us?”

 

I shook my head. I knew what she was thinking, I had been worried myself. But after googling it, I realised that it wasn’t uncommon to miss periods. After leaving home, I had come off my birth control pills. Google said that once coming off them, it takes a while for the hormones within the body to regulate themselves. Plus I had been under a lot of stress, what with leaving home and having to get myself sorted. I had come to the conclusion that all of that was having an impact on my menstrual cycle.

 

“Khushi, I think you need to get a pregnancy test.”

 

I shook my head.

 

“Nehin mausi… I don’t think I need to. We… I was on the pill so I can’t be…”

“Khushi I know what you are saying, but I have been watching you the last week or so, even since before you started being sick every morning. I recognise the symptoms and I really think you need to get a test done.”

 

I knew that I couldn’t be pregnant. I had always made sure to take my pill at the same time every morning and I never missed… A sudden thought hit me then. After Nimisha had entered our lives, I had been a little bit stressed and I could remember not taking my pill every now and again. But at the same time, during that time me and Arnav weren’t really having sex either. Surely I couldn’t be pregnant…

 

*****

 

Veera mausi held me close to herself as I cried. I couldn’t believe this was happening. How could this be happening?

 

“Sh.. Khushi, don’t cry sweetheart.”

“I don’t… What am I… I don’t know what to do. How…”

“Sh calm down child, everything is going to be okay.”

 

I wiped my tears and pulled myself out of her embrace. This was insane. I’ve been here for over three months meaning that I was a minimum of about 13 weeks pregnant.

I had taken a number of pregnancy tests, all had come back with the same result.

 

“I know you told me why you left home, but maybe you need to call your husband.”

“I can’t…”

“Khushi, I know this is a lot for you to think about at one time, but you need to call him. This isn’t just about you, you are carrying his baby. He needs to know.”

“I can’t… Nimisha should have recently have had her baby… I can’t…”

“You left him so that his baby with Nimisha would receive their fathers love. But what about your baby Khushi? For the sake of another woman’s child, are you really going to deprive your child of a father?”

“He’s moved on mausi. I showed you the article about his wedding to Nimisha. I can’t enter his life again now… I can’t make a mess of his life like that.”

“But what about you and your baby! How are you going to do this?”

 

Getting to my feet, I placed my hand on my belly.

 

“I will do this, on my own. I can’t make a mess of his life again. I will raise my baby on my own. I will do this!”

 

I turned to look at Veera mausi. I could tell that she wasn’t impressed with my decision but she didn’t say anything more. She came over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

 

“If this is what you think is best, then me and Raj will support you. But Khushi, I really think your husband deserves to know the truth.”

“Maybe one day I will contact him, but right now, I need to do this on my own.”

 

*Flashback end*

 

Finding out that I was pregnant was both one of the happiest moments of my life, but also one of the hardest. Life threw me a huge curveball, I felt like I was being punished. I had left Arnav so that Nimisha’s baby would get their father, but here I was, depriving my own child of her father. There were a number of times during my pregnancy when I had picked up my phone and I was ready to call Arnav, but I had to stop myself. I couldn’t mess up his life, not when I knew that he had started over.

During my pregnancy, I worked. Raj tried to stop me, even threatened to fire me, but I needed to make sure that I had enough money. It wasn’t just about me any more, I had a baby coming who I needed to raise. Despite Raj and Veera mausi’s protests, I carried on working up until a few weeks before I gave birth.

My pregnancy was a relatively easy one and giving birth wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated it to be. But holding my baby for the first time was the hardest thing to do. Arnav should have been beside me, he should’ve been holding our baby with me, but he wasn’t. At first, it was hard. Taking care of our baby was hard. And I was grateful that I had Veera mausi and Raj who treated me and Arushi as their own and took care of us both. As time passed, it got easier and I was able to do everything myself.

Once me and Arushi had gotten into a routine, I went back to work. Raj had insisted that everything would be managed, that he would cover my costs, but I didn’t want to be a burden on them. So I went to work, I made my money, and then I would come home and look after my daughter.

That was how my life had been all those years ago and that was still how my life was. Over the years, alongside working for Raj, I also tutored children and due to which I had quite an income. I had enough money saved away to move out of Veera mausi’s home and maybe move somewhere where I wouldn’t have to be living with other people. But I liked being here and Raj and Veera mausi had become our own people. I couldn’t leave them now and even if I wanted to, they wouldn’t let us.

I had left everything that mattered to me behind in Delhi, but here in Mumbai I had managed to find myself a new family, and I had Arushi, my reason to live.

Life wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either.

Jalebi ~ Part 20

By the time Arnav and Khushi awake from their slumber it was nearing 3am. The rain was still falling outside, loud and heavy.

Looking at the time, Arnav jumped up and ran his hand through his hair.

 

“Shit! Look at the time.”

 

Looking at the clock, Khushi too gasped.

 

“Mom and dad… They’re going to kill me. I said I’d get home before too late.”

 

Pulling the sheets around her, Khushi got out of bed and pulled her phone out of her bag. She saw that she had a couple of missed calls from her parents and then a text from her dad saying that the weather was really bad and that he would feel much more at ease if Arnav and Khushi didn’t attempt to come home in this weather.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Khushi quickly tapped out a reply before taking her charger out of the bag, plugging it in and then putting her phone down before getting back into bed with Arnav.

 

“Don’t worry, dad said the weathers too bad and that we should find somewhere to stay and not try and get back into the city in this weather.”

 

Arnav relaxed against the pillows and pulled Khushi into his arms.

 

“You hair is still wet.”

 

Touching her hair, Khushi realised that Arnav was right.

 

“We should have showers before we both fall ill.”

“Might be too late for that already.”

 

Laughing, Arnav got out of bed and handed Khushi a fresh towel. Holding the sheets close, Khushi got out of bed again and made her way over to the bathroom, before stopping dead in her tracks and raising her hand to her head.

 

“Clothes! Arnav my clothes are all out in the rain!”

“I’ll bring them in and put them in the drier for you. For now just take some of my clothes from the wardrobe and wear them after your shower.”

 

Nodding, Khushi went over to the wardrobe, and Arnav followed her, grabbing a dressing gown before he left the bedroom.

 

*****

 

Standing under the shower, Khushi let the hot water cascade down her body. It maybe long past 3am, but Khushi was feeling wide awake again, thoughts of everything that had happened between her and Arnav playing on her mind. She couldn’t believe that he was thinking about marriage, that he was ready and was willing to tell his family. That he was ready to ask her parents for her hand. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

If someone had told her a couple of years ago that she would merge her business with someone else’s and that she would fall in love with her business partner, she would have laughed in their faces and told them that they were crazy. But now that is was actually happening, she didn’t find it a hard concept to get her head around.

Yes, her business was still her priority, but she loved Arnav and it was evident that he wasn’t going to come between her and her business. They had managed to maintain a professional relationship while in a personal relationship and she was certain that they would be able to continue this.

Ready to turn the water off and get out of the shower, Khushi felt a strong pair of arms around her waist, lips kissing her exposed neck. Turning her head and lifting her face, Khushi saw Arnav standing behind her, his hands dropping to her hips and pulling her against him so she could feel his length against her butt.

 

“Hey…”

“I thought, why wait for you to be done when I could just join you in the shower.”

“I’m ready to get out now Arnav.”

“Nope, I don’t think you are.”

 

Spinning her around, Arnav pushed Khushi up against the wall of the shower, his hands all over her naked body.

 

“Arnav what are you…”

“I want you.”

“But we’ve already…”

 

Before she could finish what she wanted to say, his lips were on hers, his hands on her hips, pulling her close so the lower half of her body was crushed against his.

In no time, they were off again, Khushi’s moans filling the shower cubical…

 

*****

 

It was nearing 4am when Khushi pushed Arnav out of the bathroom so she could get dressed.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, Arnav laughed and got out and went to get dressed.

By the time he was fully dressed, Khushi got out of the bathroom, wearing one of his big t-shirts and a pair of shorts. Her hair was wrapped up in a big towel, her cheeks bright red from the heat of the bathroom.

 

“I found a hairdryer for you.”

 

Arnav pointed to the top of his dresser where a hairdryer was sat, waiting for Khushi.

 

“You always keep track of all my needs don’t you Mr Raizada?”

“I do… And I plan to keep track of them as we go through life together.”

 

For some reason, Khushi found Arnav’s words really made her blush. Biting her lip, she turned away so that she could dry her hair. He was promising a future… Promising that he would take care of what she needed in the future. He really was being serious about their life together and Khushi couldn’t help but feel overjoyed.

 

*****

 

“Babe… Babe, wake up.”

 

Eyes fluttering open, Khushi was met with the beautiful sight of Arnav leaning over her. Stretching her arms over her head, Khushi looped her arms around his neck, pulled him close to herself and pressed a kiss on his lips before letting him go again.

 

“A man could really get used to waking up his girlfriend if he got greeted like that every morning.”

 

Laughing, Khushi sat up in bed, stretching her arms and legs.

 

“Did you sleep well?”

“Best nights sleep I’ve had in a long time.”

 

Moving the covers, Khushi swung her legs out of the bed and got to her feet. She was feeling slightly sore, but she didn’t want to worry Arnav. Arnav smirked as he took her in. She was still in his t-shirt that was completely oversized for her and came half way down her thighs and his shorts that were just peeping out from below the bottom of the shirt.

 

“You’re clothes are all dry and I’ve ironed them for you.”

 

He nodded to the sofa on the other side of the room and Khushi saw her clothes all sat there, ready for her.

 

“You didn’t have to iron them.”

“I know but you didn’t want to go home looking a complete wreck. May have caused your parents to ask a lot of questions.”

“You have a point there Raizada.”

“I’ve taken out a fresh toothbrush for you and left it on top of the towel. If you need anything else just let me know. I’m going to go and get breakfast ready.”

 

Arnav turned away and was about to leave the room when Khushi rushed over to him and hugged him from behind.

 

“Thank you… For being such an attentive and caring lover. And I’m not just thanking you for the clothes and the toothbrush. Last night… Last night was by far the most beautiful night of my life, maybe even more so than our first night together.”

 

Turning in her arms, he pressed a light kiss against her lips, looping his arms around her waist.

 

“Last night was… Intense and passionate and beautiful for me too. But I know we can’t do this again any time soon.”

 

Khushi felt slightly taken aback by him saying this. She was just about to say that herself.

 

“I know that’s what you would have said next and I understand. You wanted us to not spend the night together again until after marriage and I agreed with that. Last night is something we both needed but I know we can’t do that again. But it’s okay by me, as soon as Akash and Payal’s wedding is done, I will tell everyone about us and we’ll get our wedding on track as soon as possible.”

“Thank you for understanding me and my needs.”

“I told you, I’ll always take care of your needs and what you want from me.”

“I really do love you Arnav.”

“I love you too.”

 

*****

 

Walking through the front door of her apartment, Khushi was praying that her parents weren’t awake yet. It was still only half 7, so she was hoping she’d got back early enough to avoid any awkward questions. But unlucky for her, her father was sat in the living room, watching TV while eating his toast. Turning his attention to his daughter, he switched the TV off.

 

“Lalita! Khushi’s home!”

 

Putting her bag down on the sofa, Khushi came and sat down beside her father.

 

“You’re already awake?”

“I didn’t sleep well, the whole time difference thing is still causing me to sleep at weird times.”

“You’ll get used to it soon enough papa.”

“I hope so, otherwise it’s going to be a very long month.”

“Do you guys still plan on going back as soon as Payal’s wedding is over.”

“Haan beta. You know India isn’t the place for me. I don’t even know how I am going to stay here for a whole month.”

“But…”

 

She wanted to tell her father about what Arnav had said last night, about what he had proposed, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. How does one tell their father that their boyfriend was ready to talk to the families about marriage?

 

“Did you and Arnav get all your work done yesterday?”

“We did.”

“You should invite him round one day so we can all have dinner together or something. It was nice meeting him at the engagement but it’ll be nice to talk to him when I can actually hear him.”

“I’ll let him know.”

“He is good to you isn’t he Khushi?”

“He is papa. He takes the best care of me and he respects me so, so much.”

“Well I’m glad that you have found love and happiness with Arnav. I’m hoping you kids do plan on making things official very soon.”

 

Blushing, Khushi looked away and her father got the answer he needed. She didn’t need to say anything, he knew his daughter well enough to know that she and Arnav did have plans for the future.

 

“Go and have some breakfast now otherwise you’ll be late for work.”

“I’ve already had breakfast but haan, I do need to get ready for work.”

 

Getting to her feet, Khushi hugged her father quickly before rushing off to her bedroom.

Karan watched his daughter rush away, her cheeks glowing bright pink. May she always remain this happy. That’s all he wanted in life.

 

*****

 

Akash walked into Arnav’s office to find his brother smiling at his phone.

 

“Ahem.”

 

Locking his phone, Arnav turned around. It was evident that he hadn’t been expecting anyone to walk in on him just now.

 

“Hey Akash, what’s up bro?”

“Nothing, I just came to see if you came into the office. You didn’t come home last night.”

 

Smirking, Arnav winked at Akash, who shut the door behind him and sat down at Arnav’s desk.

 

“You and Khushi spent the night together?”

 

Arnav nodded and sat down in his seat, opposite Akash.

 

“If I tell you a secret, will you make sure you don’t tell anyone at home just yet?”

“Of course bhai! You know I’d never tell anyone anything you told me in confidence.”

“I know you wouldn’t. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Well it’s just… I’m going to tell Nani and everyone at home about me and Khushi after your wedding. And I’m going to tell them and her parents that I want to marry her.”

“Wait! You’re going to marry her?”

 

Nodding, Arnav smiled.

 

“I spoke to her about it last night and yeah… It’s what we both want and we’ve seen that we can balance business and personal so, I don’t see why we should wait.”

“Wow! Congratulations bhai! That’s… I’m so happy for you! But… Don’t you think it’s too soon. You guys haven’t even been dating for long.”

“I know,  but we love each other and we know we’re serious about each other, I know it’s going to work between us. I don’t feel we need to wait.”

 

Getting to his feet, Akash went over to Arnav and gave him a big hug.

 

“Really, I’m so happy you’ve found your happiness in Khushi. And if you guys know what you’re doing then of course I’m going to support your decisions.”

“Thanks bro, means a lot.”

 

Looking at his watch, Akash excused himself, saying that he had something important to attend to. Arnav let him go and then went to Khushi’s cabin to find her.

Her door was shut and so he knocked and waited.

 

“Come in.”

 

Pushing the door open, Arnav walked in, shut the door behind him and then proceeded to come and take a seat opposite her.

 

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“You’re working away.”

“Yep. So much to do. You should be working yourself Mr Raizada.”

“I tried to work, but my girl is refusing to get out of my head today. You see, we shared a super passionate night together last night and I can’t stop thinking about her. Can’t stop thinking about how her soft skin felt against my hands, how her lips felt against mine. How her body moved under mine… I’m sure you can understand my issue.”

 

Biting her lip, Khushi turned her attention away from her laptop and looked at Arnav before lowering her eyes once more.

 

“You know, it’s highly inappropriate to talk to your business partner about your sex life.”

“Is it also inappropriate to tell my business partner that I really want to take her clothes off right now and make love to her on this very desk.”

“Very, very inappropriate…”

“But I can tell my business partner definitely is imagining how it would be if we actually did what I just mentioned.”

 

Arnav watched as Khushi’s eyes fluttered shut momentarily. He knew the effect his words were having on her, and he loved knowing how much he affected her.

 

“Arnav stop…”

 

Her voice was a mare whisper, pleading him to not make her want him more than she already did.

 

“Last night Khushi… I can’t stop thinking about us.”

“I can’t either.”

“To think, soon enough, that can be us every single night.”

“I can’t wait…”

“Are you okay, after last night? I wasn’t too rough with you or anything was I?”

“No, no you weren’t rough at all. But I am feeling a bit sore to be completely honest with you. But I guess it could be down to the fact that we haven’t really… I haven’t… Last night was only my second night so… And… You’re really big so…

“You don’t know how much it means to me, knowing that I will be your one and only. As for size, I think you accommodate me perfectly. Made for me.”

 

Looking away again, Khushi looked at the keyboard of her laptop, blushing furiously.

 

“There’s so much I want to do with you, try with you… I can’t wait to be married to you Khushi. To make you mine. To explore our sexuality together.”

 

He watched as her chest rose and fell rapidly. She was breathless, nervous, excited… She wanted everything he wanted and that excited him. Way more than he should allow himself to get excited at the office. Getting to his feet, he leaned over and pressed a kiss on the top of Khushi’s head.

 

“I’ve got to get back and get some work done. I’ll see you late baby.”

“Bye…”

 

He didn’t want to have to leave, but he knew that if either of them wanted to get any work done, he had to leave now. He turned his back and began to walk away. Khushi watched as he left, her heartbeat and breathing still erratic from his words. She wanted everything he wanted. And she too could wait until they got married.

 

*****

 

Much later the same afternoon, Arnav and Khushi were still in a trance, memories of their passion from the night before keeping them distracted.
A knock on her door brought Khushi back to her senses. Had Arnav come back again? She couldn’t face him again, not now when she had finally completely calmed herself down.

 

“Come… Come in.”

 

Popping his head into her cabin, Akash smiled.

 

“Jijaji, hi! Come in!”

 

Entering Khushi’s office, Akash shut the door behind himself.

 

“How are you Khushi? Had a good evening with bhai?”

 

Gasping at what he was insinuating, Khushi blushed a deep red once more and looked away.

 

“Jijaji!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t tease you. I’m just so glad you guys found your happiness in each other. Any way, bhai sent me to get you to sign some papers. He would have come himself but he can’t trust himself to behave at the moment.”

 

Laughing, Khushi took the papers from Akash and sat down at her desk. Sitting down opposite her, Akash watched as she skim read the top page.

 

“Oh, this is all to do with the New Years fashion show?”

“Yeah. Bhai asked if you could just sign and date all the pages.”

“Sure.”

 

Signing the first page, Khushi skimmed over the next one and signed that too.

After that, she stopped reading the pages and just kept signing and dating all the pages.

 

“Don’t you want to read through it all properly.”

“No it’s alright. Me and Arnav went through all the decisions any way. I trust him to have implicated all my changes accordingly.”

“You trust bhai that much?”

“I’ve trusted him with my heart jijaji, and now I trust him more than I trust myself.”

 

Getting to the last page, Khushi signed it and then handed the file back to Akash.

 

“Thanks Khushi. I’ll just pass these to bhai to get signed and then it’s all done.”

 

Smiling, Khushi nodded and watched as Akash got to his feet and left. Yes, she had trusted Arnav with her heart, she’d completely handed it over to him. And she did trust him more than she trusted herself. She knew he’d never hurt her. She knew he’d always cherish and respect her. Her Arnav loved her, and she loved him, and that’s all that mattered in life.

Busy Life and Negativity

Hi all, hope you all are doing very well! I feel like it’s been a really long time since I’ve actually planned a post like this and penned it down.

Many of you guys have noticed that despite there being updates regularly, I have actually been absent for a while. There are two main reasons for this and they’ve been stated in the title.

 

As someone in my final year of university, only a few months away from graduation, I don’t have an abundance of free time on my hands. In fact, I don’t think I’ve actually written an update for any of my stories since January. I do intend to really get into writing again, but I’m not sure when that’s actually going to happen. But regardless of whether I am able to start writing again, there will still be constant updates as I have a backlog of chapters already ready. They just need to be edited and scheduled. As for my newest SS, my initial plan was to launch it in either March or April. I am going to try to start writing it soon so the first chapter can go up at the end of this month, but if it doesn’t floor at the end of this month, I will probably release it during the Easter holidays.

Another reason why I have taken a more passive approach towards my blog is due to the number of negative comments that have been coming in. They have slowed down a lot in the past month or so, but in January and February I was being flooded with negative comments and that really set me back. All I am going to say on this topic is, I welcome criticism and I like it when you guys let me know if you’re not liking a certain storyline, but I really don’t appreciate it when people start being abusive towards me. At the end of the day, if you really don’t like a storyline, you are free to leave my blog and not read my work, I’m not forcing you to stay here?

For those of you who are really not liking the way I have chosen to proceed with Unwanted, I’m sorry you guys aren’t enjoying it. Personally, I was really enjoying writing the current storyline and I felt I weaved the story well. And due to that, I am going to carry on with the story as I had planned to because I believe in my own work and I’m sure you guys will start enjoying it too at some point.

 

That’s all for now. Hope you all are well and I will see you all again soon. x

 

Unwanted ~ Part 24

Arnav

Being in Mumbai has been the best thing ever. Given, the food isn’t as good as it is in Delhi, but the fresh sea air has been good for me, and I feel so much more at ease. I haven’t felt this free in a long time.

There wasn’t that much that needed to be done in regards with AR. There were some minor issues, but the moment I looked over it, changed some details around, everything fell back into place. I needed to be here for a few weeks still, just to look over the running, but really, if I wanted to I could have gone home. But I didn’t want to. It was nice living on my own, not being woken up every morning to the sound of kids screaming. And in the evenings I liked coming down to the beach. It reminded me of mine and Khushi’s honeymoon in Bali.

Being here, a lot of things reminded me of Khushi. At the moment it seemed like I couldn’t get her out of my head. It felt as though she was close to me and that she was trying to make me realise that she was here. It could be possible, but I’d already had the city checked years back and there was no sign of Khushi here. Maybe between then and now she had moved here, but I didn’t know. Maybe I should get someone to see if they could find anything out about her again.

Getting into bed, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if I ever did find Khushi again. Would we rush into each other’s arms, would we kiss? Or would she try to avoid me and run away?

Six years had passed, but every memory related to her was still as bright and clear as ever. I could remember it all so clearly, how things were, how happy we were, until…

 

*Flashback*

 

“Chote, come downstairs now!”

 

I turned to Khushi, her eyes wide as she held the sheets close to her body. It was our six month anniversary and we were celebrating by spending the day in bed.

I rolled over, pressed a kiss between her lips while I let my hands wander along her naked body. She squealed and pushed me off, and I laughed as I put my clothes on and got out of bed.

I love Di, but she knew me and Khushi just wanted to spend time alone. We were meant to go away, but at the last minute a new project came up and I couldn’t go anywhere, my hands were completely tied. But I’d taken the time out today, just to spend our half a year anniversary together and now Di was making me get out of bed.

I turned to Khushi who stretched in bed before covering herself properly again with the sheets.

 

“You go and see to Di, I’m waiting for you to come back.”

 

She gave me a wink and I laughed before getting out. I made my way down the stairs and as I went down, I saw that everyone was stood in the hall. What was going on?

 

“Di?”

 

Di moved out of the way and I froze where I was. Nimisha? What was she doing her. Di came over to me, her eyes wide with anger.

 

“Is it true?”

“What’s going on?”

 

I looked between Di and Nimisha, still not understanding what was going on. And then I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before. Nimi was heavily pregnant. But why was she here?

 

“Is it yours?”

“What?”

“Her baby! Is it yours?”

“What?!”

 

Now it was my turn to have wide eyes. Why was Di asking me this? Why was Nimisha here?

 

“No! Of course not!”

“Chote, just tell us the truth.”

 

Now it was Nani. What truth? What was I meant to say to them!

 

“Nani, no! This isn’t my baby? Nimisha, what’s going on here?”

“I didn’t want to do this Arnav. I didn’t want to come and get you involved, but… I know you’re married and happy with your wife but… I can’t handle this on my own. I need you.”

“Nimisha. We broke up. I can’t help you. Maybe you should go and speak to your baby’s father.”

“Hello hi bye bye Arnav bitwa, that’s what she is doing!”

 

I looked between my family and Nimisha. Wait… Was she trying to say that… We’re they actually convinced…

 

“It’s not my baby!”

 

This was insane. Why did she think I was her baby’s father? How could I be her baby’s dad when I’ve never even slept with her? How had she made my family believe that I was her baby’s father?

 

“I’m really sorry! But Arnav, the baby is yours…”

“No! Absolutely not! It’s not possible.”

“I’ve never been with anyone else like that Arnav, there’s no doubt.”

“Nimisha, I broke up with you when I saw a love bite on you. Maybe the one who gave you that is your baby’s father.”

“He isn’t. Nothing happened between us. Well, nothing that could have left me pregnant.”

“Nimi this is insane! You know we never shared any kind of relationship like that! How can you possibly think this is my baby?”

 

I hear a loud gasp behind me. Turning around, I see Khushi, fully dressed, stood at the foot of the stairs, her face completely pale. I rush over to her side, taking her hands into my own.

 

“Khushi, I swear to you, this is all a misunderstanding!”

“There’s no misunderstanding Arnav. It’s taken me over 2 months to put it altogether, but I know now. Remember a couple of nights before you’re wedding we went out? We were both tense about what was going to happen, how things were going to end up. We both got a bit drunk that night and I remember some things that happened between us, but I couldn’t remember it all. Now however, after really thinking about it… I… You are the father Arnav.”

 

Khushi’s hand fell away from mine, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes.

 

“This is insane! Nimisha, stop this! I know I can’t be your baby’s father. I never touched you like that! I know I didn’t. The only person I’ve ever had such relations with is Khushi.”

 

I turned my attention to Khushi, cupping her face.

 

“Khushi, Khushi you remember our first night together right? You remember how nervous I was, how inexperienced I was… If that wasn’t my first night, I wouldn’t have been like that, we both know it!”

 

I could tell she was thinking about our first night and I watched as she nodded slightly, but I don’t think she was completely believing me. I felt like I was becoming slightly hysterical, why was no one believing me? I know this baby can’t be mine! I know it! In my heart, I know.

 

“Arnav I know this is hard to take in, but if you want I am willing to take a prenatal paternity test. I have already spoken to my doctor about it and we can have it done. But I know that this baby is ours.”

“Why are you coming to me so late in your pregnancy about this. If you are saying you got pregnant after an alleged night before I got married, then you’re near enough 6 and a half months. Why are you only telling me now? Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was about 4 months along. And when I did, I was so confused. But I knew you were happy and I didn’t want to come between you and Khushi. So I decided I would keep this to myself and not involve you. But I have been really struggling. My parents turned their back when they found out I was pregnant and I couldn’t manage on my own. I didn’t know what else to do, I had to come to you.”

 

I shook my head and turned away. Khushi had dropped my hand again and her eyes were fixed on Nimisha. I watched as Di took hold of Nimisha and led her into the living area and sat her down on the sofa. Di sat down beside her.

 

“Where are you staying?”

“I had rented myself a home, but I couldn’t afford to pay this months rent… I came here to ask Arnav if I could borrow some money…”

“You don’t need to borrow money, I think you should stay with us.”

 

I turned to Di, I could tell I had a look of shock of my face.

 

“Di…”

“Chote, she’s come here to ask for money from you because she needs it to take care of your child. But knowing she is carrying your child, I can’t just send her away. And we have the space so Nimisha can stay with us until we sort all this out.”

 

At this point, Khushi rushed away, towards our bedroom.

 

“Di, we can’t! I’m married! Do you understand how hard this is going to be for Khushi if you insist my ex stays with us?”

“Khushi is sensible and will learn to deal with it. Besides, this won’t affect yours and Khushi’s relationship. Nimisha is simply going to be here because she is carrying the Raizada family heir. She’s not trying to take Khushi’s place in your life.”

 

I shook my head, I couldn’t deal with this right now. I was just about to leave when I turned my attention back to Nimisha.

 

“Thanks for ruining our half a year anniversary.”

 

I went up to our bedroom and slowly pushed the door open to find Khushi sat on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears rolling down her face.

 

“Khushi…”

 

She wiped the tears away, but she didn’t look at me. Sitting down beside her, I placed a finger under her chin and raised her face so she was looking at me.

 

“Baby…”

“I’m not upset, I’m fine. It’s just a bit shocking…”

“Khushi I don’t know what’s going on, but I can bet my life there’s some misunderstanding. The baby can’t be mine! I’ve never slept with her.”

“Why would she lie about this though. Maybe you have just forgotten…”

“Khushi, I wouldn’t forget something like that.”

 

Shaking her head, she turned away from me. I tried to move towards her, take her into my arms, but she brushed me away.

 

“If you push me away, I won’t be able to get through this. I need you…”

“And I will always be by your side, I just need some time to process all this. But I’m always here for you, I promise…”

 

*Flashback ends*

 

I sit up in bed and run my hand through my hair. For a while she kept her promise, she stood by me even after Nimisha did the prenatal paternity test and it came back saying that there was a match with my DNA and the baby’s DNA.

She held me close to her when I cried that night, when I expressed to her that I was confused and that I was scared. She comforted me, whispered words of love and support in my ears.

For a while everything was going well. Nimisha was living with us in our house, but she wasn’t having any impact on our relationship. She stayed out of our way, and we out of hers. Khushi promised me that she would support me throughout the whole ordeal. That she didn’t care if I had a child with someone else. She knew I loved her more than anything, and that was enough for her.

But as Nimisha’s due date neared, she became more needy and Khushi started distancing herself from me. I remembered our last night together clear as anything, but of course at the time I didn’t know it would be our last night together…

 

*Flashback*

 

“I can’t do this Arnav. I can’t! It’s too much! I’ve tried… You know I have. I want to be here for you, but it’s so weird, watching her make you touch her belly to feel your baby… I can’t… Please let me go to Buaji’s for a few days.”

“You can go, but Khushi, I need you here.”

 

I moved closer to her, needing to touch her. The last couple of days, she had been distant. She’d go to sleep before I got to bed or she’d come to bed long after I went to sleep. If on the odd occasion we got to bed at the same time, she would feign fatigue and would say she was too tired to have sex. I wasn’t missing the sex, I was missing her. I missed being close to her, holding her against me…

She kept herself busy at all times, always seeming to remember something that needed to be done whenever I moved in to kiss her…

 

“This is so intense, I didn’t think…”

“Yes it’s intense, that’s why I need you, Khushi I… I won’t be able to handle anything without you.”

 

I closed the distance between us, and wrapped my arms around her before pressing my face into the crook of her neck. Placing small kisses on her neck, I pulled her further into myself before sweeping her off her feet and putting her down on the bed. I pulled back slightly, but she pulled me onto herself again, her hands in my hair as she guided my face onto hers, pressing her lips between mine. In an instant, our kiss became passionate, our bodies moving against the others, our hands rushing over the others body, needing to touch each other’s bare skin.

Her hands found their way under my t-shirt, mine found their way on the hem of her kameez. I broke the kiss, needing to get her clothes off. She didn’t protest. Pulling her kameez off and then pulled her bra off, I let myself kiss every inch of her exposed skin, focusing on her pebbled nipples. Seven and a half months into our marriage and I was still obsessed with her breasts. I loved how average sized they were. They weren’t large, but they weren’t small either, they were the perfect size for her body and for my hands…

 

“Ah… Mmm…”

 

Little sighs left her lips as I ran my tongue over the sensitive tip of her nipple, her hands tightening in my hair. I let my hand move along her body, touching every one of her perfect curves before dropping to her shelwar. I pulled at the shelwar, making it come loose before pushing it away. Her legs wrapped around my waist as we carried on kissing each other, she was busy trying to get my clothes off…

Once we had got all of our clothes off, she pulled me close to herself, covering her body with my own. I trailed kisses all the way down her body, from her forehead all the way to her inner thighs. She held me close through the whole process, her hand gripped in my hair while the other bunches up the sheets beside her.

When I moved back over her, she was completely breathless, anticipating what was to come as though it was our first night all over again.

 

“I love you…”

“I love you too.”

“Stay with me?”

“Always…”

 

*Flashback ends*

 

We’d made love over and over again that night. Maybe it was a sign that it would have been our last night together, but I don’t think either of us at that point thought it would be. When we’d made love that night, it didn’t feel like an ending. What she was doing to me, it didn’t feel like she was doing it because she knew she was going to leave me.

We’d made love, promising to be by each other through it all. Giving ourselves up to each other all over again.

But when I awoke early in the afternoon of the next day she was gone…

 

*Flashback*

 

I reached out to Khushi’s side of the bed, only to find it cold and empty. I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes. Sure enough she wasn’t in bed. Getting up, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock, it was almost 1pm! How had I slept for so long? But then memories of last night came back to me. We’d made love to each other well into the early hours of the morning. It had felt good, to come together like that after so long, it felt like she had pushed away any insecurities and given herself to me all over again.

I lay back in bed, smiling as I remembered how I’d touched her and how she’d touched me. How her body felt against mine, under mine…

Getting up again, I looked around the room. It was obvious she’d probably woken up and started her day, I couldn’t expect her to have stayed in bed with me until so late. Stretching, I prepared to get myself out of bed. As I swung my legs out of bed, I noticed something I hadn’t seen before, a note with a rose on my bedside table.

At first I was confused, but then I felt myself relaxing. This must be one of Khushi’s romantic gestures so that she could tell me how she felt about last night.

Smiling, I picked it up and began reading…

As I read, I felt the rose slip out from between my fingers and onto the floor, she was gone.

 

*Flashback ends*

 

I sat up in bed as it all came back to me. I ran my hand through my hair. A letter… That was all I got. She never called me after to explain herself, not even a letter. Just like that, she was gone. After sharing on of the most beautiful nights together, she left me, just like that. I was still naked from our deeds of the night before and she left me.

I’d done everything to find her. I’d called her, called her family, had her cards tracked. I called the airport, the train station and the bus station, but I must have been too late. She must have been well out of the city before I made all those calls. I extended my search after that. But she’d vanished…

Lying back in bed, I rolled onto my side, facing the side of the bed where she should’ve been, but as always, her side of the bed remained empty. She was gone. And I didn’t know how to find her.

Jalebi ~ Part 19

Getting hold of anything that they knew that they would need to work on, Arnav and Khushi packed up their stuff. It was still only half 8, but they were already at the office, getting things sorted so that they could head out to the Raizada farmhouse.

 

“Got everything you need?”

 

Khushi nodded.

 

“Ready to go then?”

 

Picking up her bag, Khushi nodded. She was actually really looking forward to spending the whole day with Arnav. There had been so much going on both at the office and at home that they hadn’t really had much time to spend together. And now with the wedding date finalised for a month later, they knew that they were only going to get busier.

Leaving the office, they made their way down to Arnav’s car. Putting the stuff into the back, they got into the car and soon they were off.

 

*****

 

The Raizada farmhouse wasn’t too far out of the city, but it still took a while to get there. Looking up, Khushi took in the large house.

 

“And this place stays empty most of the year?”

“Yep.”

“I must say you Raizada’s have no idea how to downsize! This house must be even larger than Shantivan.”

“It’s a bit bigger than Shantivan. Shall we?”

 

Nodding, Khushi began to out of the car. Arnav got out via his side and rushed over to Khushi’s side to help her down and to take her bag off of her. Taking her hand, Arnav helped Khushi out of the car and then led her up to the front door of the house.

 

“When I was younger, we used to come here a lot. But as we all got older, we started spending less and less time here.”

“When does anyone use it then?”

“Last time we used this place properly was during Di and jijaji’s wedding. The wedding happened from here, not from Shantivan.”

“I see. Will you guys have some of the functions for Akash and Payal’s wedding here too then?”

“It hasn’t really been discussed, but perhaps. I like coming here every now and again because it’s nice to work here. There’s no noise from any direction. And we have a really big garden round the back and I like tending to all the plants. I think I permanently want to move here one day, but it takes long to get to work from here.”

 

Taking out the keys, Arnav unlocked the front door and let Khushi in first. As she stepped inside, she looked around. She was right, the house was huge, far far bigger than Shantivan, however the internal decor was still very similar than that of Shantivan. The colours they had used were all light and the furniture and decor was all simplistic but very elegant.

 

“Can I get you something to eat?”

“No, I’m fine thank you.”

“Would you like a tour?”

 

Arnav offered Khushi his arm and she took it. They were then off, making their way through the house.

 

*****

 

“Finally we have my office. This is where I like doing my work when I’m here. You can stay here and get your work done, I’ll work from my bedroom.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m only 2 doors down, if you need anything just come find me, or just shout and I’ll hear you.”

 

Pressing a kiss onto her forehead, Arnav left the room. Khushi sat down at the big desk and took out all her stuff, getting to work.

As Khushi’s laptop loaded, she looked around the room. It was much smaller than the bedrooms in the house, but was still a very large office. On the walls were photographs of Arnav from different times in his life, the most recent ones all had him shaking the hands of very important looking people.

Looking at the photos, Khushi couldn’t help but feel proud of Arnav. He had achieved so much in his life, earned so much respect for the work he did. She knew she had done equally as much as he had done, but still. She felt proud of him.

 

*****

 

It was just past 5 when Khushi finally turned her laptop off. Putting all her stuff back into her bag, she made sure the office was tidy again and she left, making her way down to Arnav’s bedroom.

His bedroom door was open, so Khushi walked in. His clothes lay on his bed, while he stood there, with his back to her, pulling a t-shirt over his head. Khushi leaned against the doorway as she watched the muscles in his back move as he pulled the shirt on.

 

“Hi.”

 

Jumping slightly, Arnav turned. His expression relaxed as he saw Khushi.

 

“You scared me. I actually forgot you were here.”

 

Walking into the room, Khushi walked over to Arnav, putting her bag down before she reached him.

 

“Are you done working?”

“I am.”

 

Stepping up to him, Khushi wrapped her arms around Arnav’s neck.

 

“So we can have some fun now?”

 

Smirking, Arnav placed his hands on Khushi’s waist, pulling her into himself.

 

“What kind of fun did you have in mind Khushi?”

 

Closing the distance between them, Arnav let his lips find Khushi’s. They may have only been together yesterday, but their kiss was hungry, passionate from the first moment that their lips met. Arnav’s hands found their way into Khushi’s hair, pulling her head back slightly to make her look up, causing her lips to part. Khushi’s hands found their way under Arnav’s t-shirt and she let her hands roam on his skin. She hadn’t touched him like this in a long time, she’d almost forgotten what his skin had felt like. She’d always been worried someone would walk in on them. But now, she knew they had the house to themselves, there was no chance of anyone walking in on them.
Her hands moved to the front, feeling his abs. Arnav let his tongue slip in between her lips as his hands rested on the side of her breasts. How he wanted to slip his hands under her dress, but he couldn’t due to how fitted it was.

Their making out was all good and fairly satisfying, but Khushi wanted more than this. Pushing Arnav back, they kept moving until the back of Arnav’s legs hit the bed and he fell onto the bed. He sat up and Khushi sat on his lap, facing him. Coming back in for a kiss, Khushi’s hands found their way back under his shirt. Due to the way she was sitting on his lap, her dress rode up, leaving her legs exposed. Arnav’s hands slid onto her legs, up her thighs and he was finally able to get under her dress. He let his hands rest on her exposed waist, felling the soft skin there.

 

“God Khushi, I missed this.”

 

Finding the bottom of his t-shirt, Khushi pulled it off of him and threw it aside. Moving back to him, she pressed her lips against the side of her neck, pressing a line of kisses, while Arnav began unzipping the back of Khushi’s dress. Feeling her dress start moving away from her body, Khushi found the hem of her dress and pulled it away from herself, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. Arnav’s eyes widened and he pulled her close to himself and started kissing her neck. His hands rested on her back, just above the clasp of her bra. Pushing Arnav back, Khushi made him lie down on the bed before coming down over him. He bunched her hair in his fist, feeling all the blood in his body move south, causing his member to harden. Khushi moved down his body, pressing kisses on his naked body as she went.

It had been her idea to hold off, to wait, but right now, she knew what she wanted and it wasn’t to wait. She remembered how he’d made her body feel when they’d done it for the first time in London, and she knew she wanted to feel like that again. She knew she should hold off, but this, them… This was all that mattered to her, all that she wanted.

Reaching back, Khushi unclipped her bra, and attempted to slide off the straps when Arnav stopped her. Pulling away, he reached for her clasp and clicked it shut, before handing her a blanket to cover herself.

 

“Arnav, what’s wrong?”

“You wanted to wait?”

“I did, but I don’t want to now. I want you. I want to be one with you again.”

“I do too… But we can’t right now.”

 

She moved back slightly, feeling confused. Didn’t he want her? Arnav sensed this and pulled Khushi back to himself.

 

“I want you, I really do. Only I know how much I’ve missed you and how much I want to make love to you again. But we can’t right now. We haven’t eaten all day, so we should get some food, and then I really, really want to show you something. If we get into bed now, I won’t stop and let you go for hours.”

 

Understanding, Khushi kissed him one last time before reaching out for her dress and slipping it back on. She understood what he was saying, but she was wet, her body was ready for him. She wanted him now. To wait even until a little later was going to kill her.

 

*****

 

After giving herself a while to let her body regulate itself again, Khushi made her way downstairs to find Arnav. Arnav had taken the time to prepare dinner for them both.

 

“Take a seat, I’ll just bring the food over. It isn’t much, but I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

 

Taking a seat, Khushi watched as Arnav fumbled around in the kitchen, plating up the food that he had thrown together. Coming over to the table, Arnav placed Khushi’s plate before her and then sat down opposite her and they both began eating.

A little while later, when the food was finished, Arnav took Khushi’s hand and led her up the stairs.

 

“Where are we going?”

“I want to show you something.”

 

He led her up the stairs and when they reached the first floor, they kept going.

 

“Arnav…”

 

Opening up another door, Khushi saw another set of stairs and Arnav led her up those. Getting to the top of those stairs, Arnav pushed open the door to reveal the large terrace of the house. Letting her move onto the terrace on her own, Arnav let go of her hand and followed her in.

Looking around, Khushi gasped at how pretty it was up here. After they had arrived and while Khushi had been working, Arnav had taken some time out to decorate the terrace. At the centre of the terrace he had put down blankets and pillows. Around the railing he had strung up some fairy lights.

 

“It’s not much, but do you like it?”

“I love it! It’s so cute! I never realised you were this romantic.”

 

Arnav chuckled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to himself.

 

“I can’t wait to show you just how romantic I really am.”

 

Khushi blushed. From his tone, the way he was talking, she was sure his ideas of romantic were far more sexual than romantic but she didn’t necessarily mind that. Taking her hand once more, Arnav led Khushi over to the blankets on the floor and sat down, pulling her down with him. He then lay down and she did the same.

 

“Look how clear the sky is here.”

 

Looking up, Khushi realised that Arnav was right. The sky was very clear. There were no clouds in sight and as they were out of the city, there was not a lot of light pollution and so the stars could be seen far more clearly.

 

“I love watching the stars. Whenever I come out here and it’s a clear night, I love watching the stars. When I was little, Di told me that our parents had become stars. So coming up here and looking at the stars always helped me feel closer to them.”

“That’s such a sweet idea.”

 

Cuddling up to Arnav, Khushi pressed a kiss on his cheek. Tucking his arm under Khushi’s head, she placed an arm around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

 

“If your parents could see us now, what do you think they’d think about us?”

“I think they’d be thinking that I’m the luckiest man on earth to have found you.”

“And in the luckiest woman to have you.”

“Khushi… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Anything.”

“I… I know we said…”

 

Looking up, Khushi could see that Arnav was nervous about something.

 

“Arnav, what’s wrong? You know you can just tell me anything.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Arnav started again.

 

“I know this is quite soon and I know we both said we wanted to wait. Hell, even last night we said we wanted time, but I… Khushi I was thinking and… I want to tell my elders about you.”

“Of course! If that’s what you want then yes! We’ll tell them! After all, everyone else, even my parents, know about us, so I don’t see why we should keep Nani, mama and mamiji in the dark.”

“Khushi there’s more… I… I was thinking a lot last night and… I think I want us to marry.”

 

Pulling away from him completely, Khushi looked at Arnav with wide eyes.

 

“Are you… Are you being serious?”

“I love you Khushi. I really, really do. I can’t imagine my life without you any more. And I know how much importance marriage has in your life and in the lives of my sister and Nani. I want to do things properly, make us official, give our relationship a real name.”

“Are you really being serious?”

“I have never been more serious about anything in my life.”

 

Letting out a squeal of joy, Khushi moved back onto Arnav, taking his lips between hers in a passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around her as she lay her body against his, he kissed her back.

Pulling apart slightly, Arnav wanted to add one last thing.

 

“But I want to reveal my plans of wanting to marry after Payal and Akash’s marriage. I don’t want the attention to shift off of them, after all it is their wedding.”

“That’s fine by me. It’s only a one month wait. Oh my god Arnav I can’t believe this!”

 

Pulling her back, Arnav wrapped his arms around her more tightly as their lips met once more. His hands roamed on her back before settling on the zip of her dress. Pulling it down in one swift motion, he pushed the dress away from her body. He pushed it down to her waist, allowing her bra clad breasts to rest on his chest. Pushing her onto her back, Arnav pulled his t-shirt off before coming over her. He felt the lace of her bra brush against his chest. He could feel her nipples poking against his chest. Their kiss intensified as Khushi wrapped her legs around his waist.

They carried on kissing, touching, trying to get as close to each other as possible. Clothes lay forgotten beside them. Arnav had pulled one of the silky blankets and had draped it over them. During their intimate make out session, the sky had darkened further, the stars were eclipsed by the clouds and drops of rain began to fall.

Feeling the rain on his shoulders, Arnav pulled himself away slightly, realised it was raining and started getting up.

 

“We should go inside.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi gestured they go under the little canopied area on the terrace. Lifting Khushi up into his arms, she clutched the blanket around her chest as he carried her over to the sheltered area. Placing her down, he moved back over her. The sound of rain hitting the top of the canopy was all that they could hear before they started kissing once more.

 

 

Final barriers of clothing pulled away, their bodies joined in the most intimate of embraces. The sound of the heavy rain around them filled the air. But moments later, the sound of their passion filled moans also filled the air.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms holding onto his back, Khushi let herself go, in a way she hadn’t done when they’d made love in London. She allowed him to fill her completely, not just her body, but her mind also. His lips pressed kisses along her skin, while his hands sought to touch every inch of her exposed skin. Their bodies moved in time with each other’s, a moderate pace set.

The rain kept falling and they kept going, completely immersed in each other, letting go of all rationality. All that mattered was their love, their passion and their promised future…

 

*****

 

Picking up a completely spent Khushi off the floor, Arnav wrapped the silky sheet around her body before lifting her off the floor. The rain was still falling, harder than ever, but it was starting to get cold and so they knew that they needed to go inside. Rushing across the terrace with Khushi in his arms, Arnav made his way over to the door and down the stairs and into his bedroom.

Tucking Khushi into bed, he went over and picked up his towel to dry his hair. Sitting up in the bed with the blanket around her, Khushi bit her lip as she took in Arnav’s completely naked body.

 

“Arnavvv…”

 

Turning around, he raised his eyebrow.

 

“Come over here.”

 

Throwing his towel aside, he strode over to her, not at all ashamed that he was hanging completely loose in front of her.

 

“Does my baby want something?”

“Your baby wants you to get into bed with her and make love to her all over again.”

 

Pushing Khushi back against the pillows, Arnav pressed his lips onto her once more before coming over her for another round.

 

*****

 

The clock struck 11 and Khushi could hear her phone ringing. Lifting her head, she saw her bag still sat by Arnav’s bedroom door. Pulling the covers of the bed away, she attempted to get out of bed, only to have Arnav pull her back and into himself. He was fast asleep, but his hold on her remained firm. Trying to move his arm away, Khushi attempted once more to get out of bed, but by the time she managed to get free, her phone stopped ringing.

Turning her attention back to the man sleeping beside her, Khushi couldn’t help but smile. Arnav was fast asleep. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, Khushi leaned in and pressed a kiss on his forehead. This was her man, the love of her life, her lover and soon he was going to be her husband. Loving the thought of him being her husband, Khushi lay back down and cuddled back up to Arnav.

 

Life couldn’t get better than this.

Unwanted ~ Part 23

Khushi

It was nearing 8am and Raj wasn’t awake yet. That was unusual, normally he was always awake by 7 at the latest.

 

“Mama, can I go and wake papa up?”

“Go on then, tell him it’s 8 o’clock.”

 

Arushi ran off towards the bedroom. Moments later I heard a squeal of laughter and heard the sound of feet running. I heard Arushi before I saw her, she ran out, closely followed by Raj who was shirtless and had his track bottoms slung low on his hips. Arushi came and hide behind me, and Raj reached behind me, trying to grab hold of her. But he missed and ended up pulling me towards himself.

Hands placed on Raj’s chest, I looked up at him with wide eyes, feeling a blush creep across my face. His arm crept round my waist, holding me where I was.

 

“Hi.”

“Hi…”

“Sleep well?”

“As always.”

 

He moved his arm away, and pulled away from me before turning his attention back to the little monkey hiding behind me. Taking hold of her hand, he pulled her towards himself.

 

“If you jump on me again tomorrow, I’m going to jump on you!”

 

Arushi laughed as she ran away. Raj too laughed before turning away and heading back for his bedroom. Just as he was about to enter his room, he turned around to face me once more.

 

“Do you want a lift to work or are you taking your car afterwards?”

 

I thought about it for a second before giving him an answer.

 

“Is it okay if I go with you today?”

“Yeah that’s absolutely fine.”

 

He smiled before going into his bedroom again. I was about to turn away when he popped his head out again.

 

“Khushi, mom’s coming home today.”

“I know, I’ve already made up her room and prepared some food.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

 

He nodded at me, his way of saying thanks before going back into his bedroom.

 

*****

 

The three of us got into Raj’s car, me and him at the front, Arushi strapped in her car seat at the back.

We went to Arushi’s school first, dropping her off before we head off to work. As Raj pulled up at the school, he turned his attention to Arushi, asking her who she wanted to walk her into school. Naturally, she picked him.

I leaned over, giving Arushi a kiss whilst Raj helped her out of the car. I watched as the father-daughter duo made their way over to the school gates. I watched as Arushi talked animatedly to him and he listened, replying to her in an equally animated manner.

Raj was a natural father. From the moment Arushi was born, the bond with her was there. And as she got older, he adapted with her effortlessly. Sometimes I still felt like she was a baby, but he always treated her according to her age and this was highly appreciated by her.

Moments later, I saw Raj reemerge as he made his way back to the car.

 

“She went inside?”

“She ran inside. We know how she is with school.”

“I used to be like that when I was little.”

 

Raj laughed as he started pulling out of the school car park and made his way towards the office.

 

“You know Khushi, it’s weird, but I see so much of myself in Arushi.”

“It’s not weird. You’re her father, you’ve brought her up as much as I have.”

“I know, but… I’m not actually her dad and all of us know that. But sometimes, I find myself looking at her and I think, if anyone didn’t know better, they’d think she really was my daughter.”

 

I understood what he was saying. Sometimes I’d sit and I’d watch them, and I would see so much of Raj in Arushi. Her kind, playful nature, all of that, she had learnt from him. The way she spoke, the way she walked, it was all Raj.

But the moment things didn’t go her way or she didn’t like something, I saw Arnav in her. Her anger, her attitude, it all screamed of Arnav.

 

*****

 

I was sat working at my desk when Jai came and told me that Raj had called me to his office. Sighing, I got to my feet and made my way up to Raj’s office.

Knocking on his door, I waited for him to call me inside.

 

“Come in.”

 

Pushing the door open, I found Raj stood by his window, looking slightly tense. I shut the door behind me and went straight over to him.

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Khushi I… I was looking at the newspaper and I saw that…”

“What did you see?”

“Arnav is coming to Mumbai.”

“What?”

“There’s been some major issues in the Mumbai branch of AR. And due to that Arnav is coming to get it sorted. Khushi, I know you don’t want him to find you and that the city is huge, but I thought you should know…”

“It’s okay, thank you for telling me. I don’t think we have any reason to worry. He doesn’t know I’m here and he won’t be looking for me so…”

 

I watched as Raj’s expression changed. He looked tense. I placed my hand on his shoulder and guided him to his chair and made him sit down.

I sat down next to him, perched on his desk.

 

“I know why you’re worried, but you have no reason to be worried. You know everything that happened, you know why I can’t go back to him. You don’t have to worry, me and Arushi aren’t going to abandon you and go to Arnav.”

“But Khushi, don’t you think he has a right to know about Arushi?”

 

I shook my head.

 

“He has his own child with Nimisha. In all these years they probably have another child. Arnav doesn’t need me or Arushi. He may have created Arushi with me, but you, Raj, you brought her up with me. You’re her father and no one has more paternal right over her than you do.”

“I know all this, but Khushi, Arushi knows I’m not her real dad. We always made it clear to her that she has another father. One who lives in Delhi, who is very busy but one who loves her. She knows the truth and we both know that one day she wants to meet him. Don’t you think we should…”

“Raj please. It’s been six years, so much has happened, so much has changed. Why are we getting stuck over this now.”

“You know why Khushi. You say so much has changed but you’re still wearing the mangalsoothra he tied around your neck and you fill your maang with sindoor for him every morning.”

 

I slide off the desk and turned away.

 

“Khushi, I still remember how I found you that first day, I remember how upset you were, how broken you were. And then just as you started to come to terms with your life, you found out you were pregnant. Khushi, I remember it all. And I see you now… I’ve seen you sit in your room, holding his picture close to yourself. I see it all Khushi.”

“Please.”

 

We haven’t spoken about all this stuff in the longest time, and I don’t want to speak about it now. Yes, I still missed Arnav, yes, I still had his mangalsoothra tied around my neck, yes, I still filled my maang with sindoor in his name… But that doesn’t change reality. And the reality is we don’t belong to each other any more. He isn’t mine and I’m not his. Life changed and I need to really move on.

 

“Can I go?”

“Khushi…”

“Can I go now please?”

“Can we talk about this at home?”

“There’s nothing to speak about. I don’t want to see him and I don’t want Arushi to see him. He doesn’t know about Arushi and it should stay like that.”

“But…”

“I’m her mother and I am telling you I don’t want him anywhere near my daughter. End of story Raj.”

 

He looked slightly taken aback. I’d never spoken to him in that manner before, but I had no choice. I know Arnav has moved on with his life, he moved on long ago, hence why he married Nimisha. If I tried to re-enter his life now with Arushi, there was a high risk of him pushing us both away. And I couldn’t risk that.

He had always loved Nimisha, she was his first choice. And now he was with her. I couldn’t put myself out there, couldn’t try to go back to him. He would reject me. And I couldn’t put myself through that. And I couldn’t put Arushi through that either. I couldn’t expose her to that. I just couldn’t.

 

*****

 

As I got home, I could smell pakoras and that could only mean one thing.

 

“Veera mausi?”

 

I walked into the kitchen, and there before me was my little angel and her nani.

 

“Mausi! You’re back! How was your trip?”

“As always, Rahul drove me crazy as did those kids of his, but it was nice. But I’m glad to be home now.”

“Has Arushi been troubling you?”

“Not at all! She’s been telling me all about what she’s been doing while I’ve been away.”

 

Veera walked over to where Arushi and the pakora were and handed the plate to me.

 

“Have one beta?”

“Nehin mausi, I’m just going to go and freshen up. Arushi, come let’s get you changed.”

 

Arushi rushed ahead of me and I watched as she made her way over to our bedroom. I was about to leave when Veera mausi took hold of me.

 

“Khushi, what’s the matter? You only refuse me pakoras when you are upset about something or stressed about something.”

“No I’m fine…”

“Khushi, you know you can’t hide anything from me. Have you and Raj had an argument about something?”

 

I shook my head and sighed as I sat down at the table. I explained about how Arnav was going to be in the city and how Raj wanted me to go and speak to him about Arushi.

 

“If you don’t think you are ready to face him, then don’t. But Khushi, one day you are going to have to let Arushi meet her dad. You decided right at the beginning that you were going to tell Arushi the truth about Raj not being her dad, that her dad was someone else. She may not ask questions now, and may accept Raj, but one day she will understand better and you will have to tell her who he is and if she wants to meet him, you’ll have to let her.”

“I know but… What if he isn’t what she’s expecting, or what if he turns her away…”

“Are you worried for Arushi, or yourself?”

“Maybe it’s a bit of both. I don’t know!”

 

She pat my shoulder and offered me a pakora before getting to her feet once more.

 

“No one expects you to make a decision now Khushi, but one day you will have to let Arushi meet her real dad, whether he accepts he or not is something else. But just know, me and Raj will always be here for you and Arushi.”

 

Getting to my feet, I gave Veera mausi a hug before rushing off after Arushi. She was right. Regardless of what happened, Raj would always love Arushi, at least she would always have a father in him. But Arnav… Every time I thought about Arnav, it felt like a knife going straight through my body. I had made the decision to leave Arnav but… My life was a mess, it had been for over six years now and there was no end in sight to this mess.

Maybe one day things would be better. One day…