Fifty Shades Of Raiada ~ Part 20 ~ Last Part

The day of Arnav and Khushi’s sangeet had finally arrived. Arnav, who up until very recently didn’t believe in marriage at all, didn’t really want to have to go through with all the rituals, and even if he did have to go through with them, he didn’t want to have to do it in the presence of a large audience. But being Arnav Singh Raizada, it meant that whether he liked it or not, his marriage would be a big deal.

So to Arnav’s dismay, every function so far had been a very big and public affair. But he could tell that Khushi was enjoying it. She didn’t generally like all the attention that was on her, but she loved all the functions and for her sake, he was trying his best to enjoy them too.

Today was the sangeet, and this was by far the ceremony he was looking forward to least. For the past week, the Raizada’s and Gupta’s had been getting together to practise for the sangeet. Now this was something he didn’t understand. They wanted each performance to seem spontaneous and unplanned, yet they were planned down to the t. To his displeasure, Arnav was made aware that he would have to partake in the performances. But even though quite a few people had been invited to the sangeet, compared to the other ceremonies, it was relatively small, so he was glad that there wouldn’t be much of an audience.

 

*****

 

Sat right in front of the area that had been marked off as the performance area, Arnav sat with his hand clasped in Khushi’s.

As the evening went on, their family members all did little performances for them. Arnav found some to be slightly cringy, however on the whole their families and friends had made a grand effort for them and he appreciated that. He especially liked Lavanya and NKs perform to Desi Girl. He’d enjoyed because he loved how fitting the song actually was to his and Khushi’s relationship. She was his Desi Girl and she had rocked his world in more ways than one.

Soon enough, it was time for the performance he had been dreading. It was a dance off between the boys and the girls. On the boys team, it was himself, Akash, Shyam and NK, while on the girls team, they had Khushi, Anjali, Payal and Lavanya.

As they all took their places, the music started up.

 

This was a number that Khushi found from somewhere, and was adamant that they did the dance off to this song. He couldn’t help but see why she had chosen the song. She had taken a risk by choosing to come back to him and due to that she knew she’d always be his queen.

The girls danced around their respective partners, while the boys tried to carry out their dance moves. It was evident that the girls were now improvising and it was throwing the boys off, making them forget what they were meant to be doing. It didn’t take long for the boys to completely forget and for the girls to win.

 

“We won! We won!”

 

The girls rejoiced while the boys sulked. Everyone took their seats once more while Anjali took to the microphone.

 

“Now we have a special performance from the bride for her groom.”

 

Arnav looked up at this point. He hadn’t been aware that Khushi was going to do her own piece. The lights dimmed down and a spot light came on, focusing on Khushi.

 

 

“Bole churiya… Bole kangana…”

 

Arnav felt a smile spread across his lips. He couldn’t help it. Something about her performing this song for him did something inside him. He was well aware of the lyrics, well aware of what they meant and he realised what she was trying to show him.

As Khushi danced, everyone watched her in awe before other girls and danced behind her. Khushi danced around Arnav, clicking her bangles together, coming as close to him as she could without it seeming inappropriate.

Arnav knew when the male part of the song was coming, and so braced himself. He was going to do this for his Khushi.

When the male parts came, Arnav gave his best performance shocking everyone. But once he got into the performance, he too began to enjoy it. Then Khushi’s lines came back again and he took in all the words she was performing it.

 

“Hai hai main marjawa marjawa tere bin… ab tho meri raath kat thi thaare gin gin…”

“Aake mere dunya mein vaapas na jaana…”

 

It was obvious why she had picked this song. It was obvious what she was trying to tell him. And he understood every word of what the song was saying.

The Raizada’s and the Gupta’s also joined in and everyone danced together with and around Arnav and Khushi.

It was a happy night that came to a happy closing.

 

*****

 

As seasons changed and time went on, a year passed since Arnav and Khushi had gotten married.

Things had been going very well. For a while, Khushi had been worried that what she could give Arnav wouldn’t be enough, that he would start missing his old way of life. But it seemed that he really had turned over a new leaf for her. There had been no mention of the playroom since they had gotten married, he hadn’t even hinted at it. It seemed as they were well and truly past that phase of their life.

One evening, Arnav had been working out of town and had told Khushi that due to bad weather, he would stay at his penthouse apartment. Khushi decided that she too would join him, after all there was nothing else for her to do. So despite the bad weather, she made her way to the penthouse apartment.

Once arriving at the penthouse, she checked their bedroom to see if he was in there, he wasn’t. Walking through the apartment, Arnav wasn’t anywhere to be found, so she started making her way up the stairs. Maybe he was in the upstairs office.

The room which had for 5 months been her bedroom, was now Arnav’s extra office space.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she saw a woman leaving the playroom. Stopping dead in her tracks, Khushi glared at the woman, who looked startled to see Khushi there.

 

“What the hell? Who are you?”

 

Feeling her blood running cold, Khushi started feeling light headed. What was another woman doing in their home? What was another woman doing coming out of the playroom? Surely Arnav didn’t… He wouldn’t?! Would he?

Before Khushi could think any more, Arnav too walked out of the playroom. Seeing Khushi stood there, he stopped.

 

“Khushi… Woh… Ishaani, thanks for your assistance, I’ll be in touch with you very soon.”

 

The woman nodded and walked past Khushi, giving her a small smile as she left.

 

“Arnav…”

 

She stopped, making sure that the other woman was gone. When she heard the doors of the elevator clang shut, she let it all out.

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARNAV? What the hell is going on here?”

“I swear it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Arnav have you been… I refuse to believe that you have but… Have you been using the playroom with other women? HOW COULD YOU?”

 

Arnav walked towards Khushi, his hand outstretched. Khushi moved back, stepping away from him. She couldn’t believe this. Had he really not changed? Had he just found someone else to… UGH.

 

“Khushi, listen to me.”

 

Shaking her head angrily, Khushi could feel the tears prickling her eyes. Arnav realised that Khushi wasn’t going to hear him out, so he took her by the wrist and led her over to the playroom. Khushi struggled against his hold, wanting to pull away, but Arnav was much stronger than she would ever.

Pushing the door open of the playroom, he pulled Khushi inside. Once inside, Khushi’s eyes widened as she looked around the room. It was completely empty and had been painted. The old dark walls were gone, and the room was now a plain white.

 

“What…”

“If you heard me out I would have explained myself. I got rid of all the equipment that was in here a while back, and I want us to move into the penthouse. For this to be our permanent home. But before we could do that I needed to change some things around.”

“That woman…”

“She’s an interior decorator! I wanted her to check out all the bedrooms upstairs, so that she could look at the sizes. Then she would be able to give us a good indication as to which room we should use for what purpose.”

“I don’t…”

“When I’ve been coming here, it’s because I’ve been trying to get the planning of the renovations sorted. I’ve decided that I don’t want our bedroom to be downstairs any more, I want our bedroom to be upstairs and to turn our current bedroom into either a gym or a study. Ishaani is helping me to decide which of these rooms would be suitable for our bedroom, etc etc.”

 

Finally understanding what was going on, Khushi let out the breath that she was holding and rushed into Arnav’s arms.

 

“I’m so sorry! I assumed… God I… I’m so sorry Arnav, please forgive me. I’m such a horrid wife. I thought you were… Oh god, I can’t believe I actually thought…”

“No I’m sorry, I should’ve just told you what I’ve been doing here. I just wanted to surprise you…”

“I’m so sorry…”

 

Cupping Khushi’s face, Arnav placed a light kiss on her lips before pulling away again.

 

“When I got you back into my life, I said that I would never do anything that you didn’t like. You wanted me to change the way I lived my life and for you I did. We both know that wasn’t an easy transition, but I did it, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m content with the relationship we share and I would never, EVER, seek pleasure of any kind from another woman.”

“I know…”

“I belong to you. Only you Khushi and nothing is about to change that.”

“I love you so much Arnav. Again I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay, I can understand. That was a big part of my life, I can understand what was going through your head. But now you see, this room doesn’t exist, this part of my life is gone. I don’t need it any more and I don’t miss it either.”

 

Looking around the room, she took in the emptiness again. He was right, that part of him was all gone. Now they had an empty room, a blank canvas, an opening to start a new chapter in their lives.

 

*****

 

Walking up the stairs, Khushi couldn’t believe that it was hers and Arnav’s third anniversary tomorrow! Time had flown by. It still felt as though they had only gotten married yesterday, but somehow three years had passed.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Khushi made her way down the long corridor and stopped in front of the last door at the end of the corridor. The door to the playroom.

Pushing the door open, Khushi couldn’t help but smile at the sight before her.

 

Arnav was laying on the floor with their little 10 month old Aarav by his side. They were both looking up at the ceiling, watching the projections of the stars moving from one side to another.

Little Aarav kicked his little legs and laughed as the colours of the stars changed, while Arnav just lay there, arms tucked behind his head, staring up at the stars.

The room which she had once loathed, the room which she had once been afraid of to an extent, was now her favourite room in their home.

When Arnav and Khushi had found out that they were expecting a baby, Arnav set to work right away, buying furniture for the nursery and toys. He brought so many toys for their baby that half of them didn’t fit in the nursery any more. It was then that they decided that they would give their baby a play room. A room where the baby would have all his or her toys. It just so happened that this was the only room that was still empty, that didn’t have a purpose for it. Arnav had said that he didn’t mind redecorating again, moving his office into here so the baby’s playroom wouldn’t be in this room, but Khushi no longer minded. That chapter of their lives was long over, it was a distant memory, it didn’t bother her anymore.

She couldn’t believe how far they had come in their relationship. There had once been a time when Arnav didn’t believe in marriage, when Arnav hadn’t even believed in love. When he didn’t believe in the idea of love making. Now he was a tender lover, someone who handled her with great care, who whispered words of love in her ears every time he came near her. Now he was the father of her baby, a baby who was conceived out of love and passion.

When Khushi found out that she was pregnant, she had been a little nervous about what Arnav would say and how he would react. They had talked about children, and they were planning a child in the near future, but Khushi hadn’t thought she would fall pregnant so soon after coming off her birth control. She got pregnant almost immediately after and had been worried Arnav would react badly because it was all happening so soon.

But he had been ecstatic, happier than she had been when she first realised she was pregnant. He went out that very day and spent hundreds and hundreds buying things for their baby.

From the moment Aarav had arrived in their lives, Arnav’s priorities switched completely. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with his baby. Work was forgotten about for an extended periods of time. At night, if Aarav started to cry whilst they were making love, Arnav would be out of bed faster than anything and he would be there to sooth his son. At times, it seemed as though Arnav forgot about her completely, and this wasn’t something she minded. It filled her heart to see her boys together.

Leaning against the doorframe, Khushi watched as Arnav tucked their son into his arms and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Of all the shades of Raizada that she had seen, this most definitely was her favourite.

 

*The End*

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 19

“Arnav stop.”

 

Pushing him away from herself, Khushi got to her feet and sorted the straps of her dress out.

It had been 2 months since they’d found each other again and things were going well. Arnav had said that he cared about her enough to give up his previous ways, that he was ready to try and have a relationship with her that she approved of. He was letting her lead the way and Khushi had told Arnav that she wanted to get to know him properly and that she wanted him to get to know her properly. This meant that they went out on date nights like normal couples. They went to restaurants and cinemas, spent time together in public places instead of being locked away. Khushi was happy with the way things were going. She’d gotten to know about the little things that Arnav liked and disliked and she was happy that he too was taking an interest in finding out little things about her too.

Arnav on the other hand wasn’t as happy as Khushi. He was happy that he had Khushi back in his life, but he was deprived. He hadn’t gone so long without utilising the playroom. And Khushi was refraining from any kind of sexual relations until they really got things sorted. Maybe if they were getting intimate then he wouldn’t be so frustrated. But again, he didn’t want to complain, he was just glad that he had Khushi back in his life.

 

“Khushi can’t we…”

“No. We can’t. I know you’re finding this hard, but Arnav, you respecting my wishes just shows me that you really do care for me and you really do want to make this work.”

 

Getting off the bed, he walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

“I’d do anything for you. Hell, I’m already doing so much more than I’d ever thought I’d do for a woman. I can’t believe I’m actually going to these therapy sessions for you.”

 

Placing a light kiss on his cheek, Khushi smiled.

 

“You doing all this is showing me how much you actually want me. I know now that I really do mean more to you than just you wanting me to be your submissive.”

 

Wrapping his arm around her, Arnav placed a kiss on Khushi’s forehead. It was hard, completely changing his lifestyle for her, but gradually he could feel himself changing.
Before, if he wasn’t using the playroom at least once every week, he’d be in a horrid mood for the rest of the week. Now, he hadn’t used the room in over 7 months and he wasn’t craving it the way he used to. He was craving Khushi, not the room and what he did in the room. If Khushi would just let him have sex with her now, he would be content. He didn’t feel like he needed to room any more for pleasure.

Arnav had also started going to therapy sessions. Khushi had insisted that they would do him good, that they would help him to resolve issues that he had within himself. He had been reluctant at first, had refused, but under duress he went to the first one. He had found it helpful to talk to someone who understand what he had gone through and who understood what he was going through. The sessions were helping him more than he would like to admit, but he was glad that Khushi was making him go to them.

 

*****

 

Pulling up in front of Khushi and Lavanya’s apartment, Arnav took his key out of the ignition.

 

“So… I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to see Di and everyone else at Shantivan tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry it’s last minute, Di only called me last night and forgot to tell you earlier.”

“What time tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow evening.”

“Okay.”

 

Leaning over, Arnav pressed a kiss onto Khushi cheek before moving back. But Khushi caught him by the sleeve and moved her face closer to his.

 

“Just a kiss on the cheek? Mr Raizada, I think you’re losing your touch.”

 

Moving into him, Khushi pressed her lips between his and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Arnav placed his hands on Khushi’s waist, bringing her closer to himself. So close that her breasts brushed against his chest.

Lips parted, they let their tongues meet, caressing each other’s. Arnav’s hands moved up to her neck and then down again over her breasts.

Arnav shifted in his seat to get closer to Khushi, but his elbow hit the horn of the car. The loud sound of the horn made them jerk apart and look around. Laughing at what just happened, Khushi loved back slightly while Arnav ran his hand down her cheek before sighing and moving away.

 

“I’ll come and pick you up tomorrow evening.”

 

Placing a quick kiss on his cheek before she left the the car, Khushi nodded, signifying that she would be ready for him to pick her up.

Once out of the car, Khushi stood on the sidewalk and watched Arnav pull off. Turning around, she made her way up to her apartment.

As soon as Khushi opened the door, she was faced by Lavanya who stood there with her arms folded across her chest.

 

“Hi.”

“Do you hi me Khushi. What the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on!”

“Khushi, don’t you dare lie to me. You’re seeing Arnav again.”

“You knew I was seeing him again?”

“I knew that you were meeting with him, I didn’t realise you were in a relationship with him again. And I guess I wouldn’t have found out if you weren’t being idiots and fooling around in the front of the car. Which by the way is the stupidest thing ever. Didn’t anyone ever teach either of you that you don’t fool around in the front of the car, you take it to the backseat.”

“We weren’t fooling around, we just kissed and then the stupid horn went off.”

“But why are you kissing him at all?”

“La…”

 

Brushing past Lavanya, Khushi entered the main living space, put her bag down and then made her way into the kitchen to find some food. La followed her.

 

“Khushi, I don’t know what went down between you two before that made you break up, but those 6 months were killer. I’ve known you for so long, but seeing you those 6 months almost killed me.”

“Then you know that being with him matters to me.”

“I get that! I really do! But that night when you came home after the break up, you were broken beyond anything Khushi.”

“I know, I was… But… I don’t know how to explain it… I love him La, I really do. Initially, I probably shouldn’t have loved him, but now, over the last 2 months, he’s changed so much for me. For me La! For little me!”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I don’t think I will get hurt. And if he does hurt me again, I give you full permission to go and cut him up like you threatened to do the first time.”

 

Pouring herself a glass of orange juice, Khushi took a sip.

 

“Are you sleeping with him again?”

 

Spitting out the sip of juice that she’d just taken, Khushi looked at La with wide eyes.

 

“What the hell?”

“It’s a genuine question, are you sleeping with him again?”

“You can’t ask me that, that’s personal.”

“Oh please Khushi. When has anything been a secret between us. Just tell me.”

“Laaaaa…”

“Khushi! Just answer the question.”

“No, I’m not. We haven’t… Not since we’ve got back together, we haven’t.”

“Keep it that way. Until you know for definite that things are going to work out for the long run.”

“Okay baba, I won’t get intimate with him like that until things are 100% going the right way? Happy now? Can we end this super awkward conversation?”

 

Satisfied with the answer that she had received from Khushi, Lavanya nodded and went back into the living room. Lavanya had always been much more open about her sex life, but Khushi found it slightly awkward and didn’t like answering questions like that. But she knew Lavanya cared about her, hence why she was questioning her like that. She couldn’t help but feel grateful for her friend, who always had her back, no matter what.

Picking up her food, Khushi too went into the living room and sat down beside Lavanya, who was watching tv.

 

“Is NK going to come round tomorrow night?”

“I don’t know, maybe? Why?”

“Arnav invited me to Shantivan. I wanted to make sure that you’ll have company, otherwise I won’t go.”

“We don’t have plans but I’ll ask him. It’s all this wedding prep, he’s always so busy doing one thing or other. This is why I just wanted to elope.”

 

Laughing, Khushi shook her head. As long as she had known Lavanya, La had always said that when she got married, she didn’t want a big ceremony with lots of rituals. That she’d happily just elope. But now the time had come, to Lavanya’s distaste, NK was one of those people who did want a big wedding with lots of rituals. Khushi was totally convinced that if Lavanya wasn’t completely in love with NK, then she would have called the wedding off entirely.

 

“I can’t believe you’re getting married soon. I always thought I would get married before you.”

“I honestly thought the same Khushi, but looks like life played a different game with us.”

 

When Lavanya and NK had told Khushi that they were going to get married, Khushi had been ecstatic. She was so happy that her friends had found love and that they were ready to spend the rest of their lives together.

Of course, behind the scenes Khushi had felt very disheartened. This was due to the fact that her best friend was going to get married and was going to leave her, and she would remain here on her own, no sign of any change in the future. But now she felt a lot happier. La was going to get married to the man of her dreams, and Khushi had Arnav back. Arnav who was willing to change himself so that they could stay together. Maybe things were going to work out.

 

*****

 

“Khushi! It’s so good to see you again!”

 

Anjali threw her arms around Khushi and pulled her into a big hug. During their relationship, she had only come back to the Raizada house twice with Arnav and after they broke up she had lost touch with them completely. But right now, it felt so good to be back again.

 

“I’m so glad you and Chote worked things out, I really think you are perfect for Chote and our family.”

 

Blushing, Khushi looked between Arnav and Anjali before looking down.

 

“All love for Khushi, what about me Di? If you’re like this before I’ve even married her, what are you doing to be like after marriage?”

 

Arnav’s words made her look up. Marriage. He was talking about marriage as though it was something that was round the corner, something that he had actually been thinking about. He was speaking about it so casually, so comfortable. Surely he hadn’t… But maybe… Maybe he had?

 

“Di, where’s Nani? I need to talk to her about something.”

“She’s in her room. Both of you go up to see her and then Khushi come back down! There’s something I want to show you!”

 

Nodding, Khushi followed Arnav up to his Nani’s room.

 

*****

 

Anjali and Payal were showing Khushi lots of different colour samples for the living room when Arnav and Nani came downstairs.

 

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?”

 

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Arnav.

 

“What’s the matter Chote?”

 

Sweeping his gaze of Khushi and the Raizada’s, Arnav braced himself for what he was about to say.

 

“As you all know, for the longest time, I didn’t believe in the institution of marriage. Hell, I didn’t even believe in love. I didn’t believe that love actually existed. But since meeting Khushi… My life has changed in more ways than one. You all have noticed it, and I will confirm it, Khushi has changed me. For better, or for worse, she’s changed me completely.

I’m not going to hide the truth from you guys because you all know anyway, but me and Khushi did break up. I messed up, fucked up on a major scale and I hurt Khushi in a way I can’t believe I hurt her. But despite all that, she’s here, with me, willing to give me another chance and I don’t want to let her go. So…”

 

Arnav walked over to Khushi, took her by the hand and made her get up from the sofa, before he dipped down onto one knee himself. Khushi’s eyes widened as she looked down at him, and Anjali and Payal both gasped, realising what was happening.

 

“Khushi Kumari Gupta, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife. I know I’m not perfect and I know I have a long way to go before I become the perfect man for you, but I promise you… I promise I will become that man. So will you? Will you marry me?”

 

Hand over her mouth and tears falling from her eyes, Khushi couldn’t believe this was happening. Arnav pulling out a ring box from his pocket and opened it up, revealing a yellow gold ring with a blue diamond in it.

This was a dream! Surely it was a dream! Arnav wasn’t actually on his knee in front of her. He couldn’t be! This wasn’t her Arnav, not the Arnav she knew.

 

“Will you marry me baby?”

 

Tears fell from her eyes thick and fast. She felt choked up due to emotions and couldn’t form any words, so simply nodded.

 

“Y… Ye… I… I… Yes… I will…”

 

Getting off his knee, Arnav slipped the ring onto Khushi’s finger before pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her head.

The Raizada’s all got to their feet and clapped and cheered for the newly engaged couple.

Pulling apart, Khushi looked at the ring on her finger. It was definitely not a new design ring, but it was a classic and she loved it.

 

“Chote, isn’t that Mama’s engagement ring?”

“Haan Di, it is. Nani had it and I wanted to ask Nani if I could give it to Khushi.”

 

Gasping, Khushi looked at the ring on her finger. It had been Arnav’s mother’s. No wonder it was such a classic piece.

Nani came over to Khushi and Khushi took Nani’s blessings.

 

“God bless you my child. When Chote called me last night to ask if he could give you his Ma’a engagement ring, I was overjoyed. My daughter had always said that she would give her daughter in law her engagement ring. She may not be here herself to give you this ring, but Khushi, I am sure she is watching from above, more than happy that Chote has picked you to be his bride. This isn’t just your late mother in laws ring Khushi, this is her blessing to you.”

“It’s beautiful. I love it!”

“You know Bitya, Chote has already spoken to your parents as well. He’s had me speak to them as well.”

 

Turning her attention to Arnav, Khushi raised her eyebrow.

 

“He wants to do things properly, he wanted everyone’s permission and blessings before he asked you himself. After your parents said yes to both me and him, and after I said yes, we didn’t see any point waiting before he asked you.”

 

Turning her attention back to Arnav, Khushi walked towards him.

 

“I can’t believe…”

“You wanted me to prove that I was committed to you, that I really did love you and care for you. It took some soul searching, but ultimately, I realised that I cared for you in a way I have never cared for anyone. I care for my family in one way, but the way I feel about you… It’s completely different. It’s so much more intense and I think that’s love.”

“This is actually happening? Is this actually happening?”

 

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Arnav placed a light kiss on Khushi’s lips.

 

“It really is baby, it really is.”

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 18

Six months had passed since Khushi had left Arnav and there hadn’t been a single day when she hadn’t missed him. One could question why she missed him so when they barely shared a relationship outside of the playroom, but Khushi had fallen in love with him. There was something about him that drew her to him like a moth to a flame. But Khushi knew that if a moth got too close to the flame then the moth would burn. And she’d been burnt by Arnav. She couldn’t go back to him after that.

In these six months, Khushi had used all her time and energy to try and establish herself. She was making use of her degree and had gotten a job at a publishing firm. She was enjoying her work, it kept her busy and her mind off Arnav. But when she came home to Lavanya and NK, cuddled up together on the sofa, she couldn’t help but wish that she had that too. It was at times like that that she missed Arnav the most.

But Khushi knew that she and Arnav couldn’t be together and she couldn’t stay with him. She’d only end up hurt and more alone.

 

*****

 

“La, I might be home late tonight, so don’t worry about food for me. I’ll have something at work.”

“Khush, you work too hard. This is going to be the third night this week you’re going to come home late. And it’s only Thursday! Are you sure you’re working late or have you met someone but just aren’t telling me about it.”

“You know I’m not looking for a relationship.”

“I know but…”

“I’m focusing on me and work. Like you should too sometimes!”

 

La rolled her eyes and left Khushi to carry on getting ready. She knew something had gone down between Arnav and Khushi, but Khushi never said what happened. She just knew that when it ended, Khushi was completely broken, but she was adamant that she wouldn’t get back together with Arnav. La didn’t know what happened, but she knew it changed Khushi on a completely different level, and she wasn’t sure how much she actually liked the new Khushi.

 

*****

 

As Khushi got into work, she was greeted by all her colleagues. In the short time that Khushi had been at the firm, she had managed to make herself a lot of new friends and a lot of people who respected her.

 

“Good morning Khushi. Sir has said that he’s emailed you everything you need to know about the new project that you are meant to be working on. He said you have until tomorrow to get the first draft sorted.”

 

Nodding, Khushi left and made her way over to her little desk. She was happy here. She was in control of her own life and she was free to do things as she wanted.

Just as she was about to start working a text message came through. For a moment, her heart almost leapt out of her chest, for some reason she was under the impression it was Arnav, but looked at her phone to find it was only La.

Annoyed at herself for wanting it to be him, Khushi pushed her phone away and began working.

Arnav hadn’t bothered trying to call or text her after she left that day. He hadn’t attempted once to try and take her back. The doors of the lift had closed between them and that was it. They were done. Some part of her had wished he would reach out to her, but he hadn’t. Evidently he hadn’t felt as strongly about her as she had him.
Shaking the thoughts of Arnav away, Khushi began working.

 

*****

 

It was nearing 9 pm when Khushi finally submitted her work and started packing her things away. She was exhausted but glad that she’d got all her work done.

Putting her things into her bag, Khushi got to her feet. Everyone else has already gone, only she remained and her boss who was busy working away in his office. Saying goodbye to the security guard, Khushi clocked out and left, making her way down to the bus stop. It was already dark out, but it didn’t really bother Khushi, she was used to leaving in the dark and walking down to the bus stop on her own. And it was only a 10 minutes walk from her office so she didn’t mind.

She was only about two minutes away from the bus stop when she felt a hand close around her shoulder. Turning around, she was met with a tall man with eyes as dark as the night looking down at her.

 

“Where you off to?”

“Bus stop.”

 

Shrugging away from his grasp, Khushi turned away and carried on walking to the bus stop.

 

“Hey hey, wait up.”

“Leave me alone please.”

“Listen, let me drop you off.”

“No thank you.”

 

Once again, she turned away, and tried to hurry away but the man grabbed hold of her hand.

 

“Stop walking away and listen to me.”

“Please just let me go!”

 

His hand around her wrist tightened and he began trying to pull her away in the opposite direction.

 

“Please, please let me go!”

 

Tears rolled down Khushi’s checks as she tried to pull herself away from the man. She prayed to god to send her a guardian angel, to send anyone to help her.

Before she could even finish her prayer, the mans hand was pulled away from hers and the he was on the floor.

 

“The woman has been asking you to let her go. If she says no, you let her go.”

 

The voice hit her like a tonne of bricks. She recognised that voice better than she would be able to recognise her own. Looking up at the person who saved her, Khushi was shocked to find Arnav staring at her intently.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Nodding, Khushi couldn’t understand what had just happened. Where had Arnav come from all of a sudden? Arnav put his hand out and Khushi took it tentatively. Not because she wanted to touch him, but because there was a sense of calmness that came with holding onto him.

 

“Can I take you back to my apartment so you can relax a bit or would you just like me to take you home?”

 

Khushi’s hand in Arnav’s tightened. She wanted to go home with him, talk to him, but she couldn’t forget about the way that they had parted. His punishment…

 

“Take me back to my place please.”

 

Wrapping an arm around her, Arnav led Khushi over to his car which he had parked haphazardly on the sidewalk. Helping Khushi into the car, he then went over and took his own seat.

Putting the car into gear, they were off. Khushi looked around the car and instantly memories of what they had done here before came back to her. She remembered that time they’d got intimate in the back of the car and she couldn’t help but blush. Things had been so different then. What they had shared at that point of time had been passionate. It hadn’t been weird and laden with rules. It had been just them, sharing their feelings for each other, letting go after holding back for so long.

 

“How did you… How did you find me?”

“I…”

 

Arnav stopped and Khushi watched. It looked as though he was racking his brains, trying to work out what he should say. Finally, he exhaled and began talking.

 

“I’ve been… I’ve been following you. Ever since you left me. Just to make sure that you were okay.”

“You’ve been what?!”

“Don’t be angry. I just wanted to make sure that you were safe and that you were doing okay.”

“You’ve been stalking me?!”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Why couldn’t you just call me and ask how I was like a normal person.”

“I didn’t know if you’d speak to me, but I needed to make sure that you were okay.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi looked out of the window. Who did he think he was and why did he think it was acceptable to stalk her?

 

“Khushi don’t get angry.”

“Do you expect me to just be cool with the fact that you’ve been following me around like a creepy stalker? What the hell Arnav.”

“I care for you okay! That’s why I did what I did! Why can’t you understand that? I wasn’t going to jump you when you were least expecting me, I was just keeping an eye out for you.”

“You don’t need to, I’m no one to you.”

“You know you mean a lot to me.”

“Do I really? Is that why you punished me for wanting out? If you cared about me you wouldn’t have hurt me like that.”

 

Finding a safe place to stop, Arnav pulled up.

 

“I’m sorry for how things ended. I… I’ve missed you so much Khushi. The moment the doors shut behind you, I wanted to go after you, take you into my arms and kiss you…”

“Really Arnav? You wanted to take me into your arms and kiss me? Can I remind you that during the duration of our relationship, the only time you held me and kissed me was in that stupid room of yours.”

“And it was then that I realised how much you meant to me. Normally, I let women go, I don’t want to be with them any more. But you, you left me and I still wanted you. I was with you for so long and I still wanted you. That’s how I know you’re different.”

“You just hadn’t got bored of me yet. It doesn’t mean anything. If I had stayed, you probably would gave got bored of me soon after and would have chucked me out any way. The only reason you’re still hung up about this is because I chose to leave you.”

“It does mean something Khushi! And no I’m not still feeling like this because you left me, I’m feeling like this because I care about you.”

 

Shaking her head, she looked away.

 

“Please just take me home.”

“I want you back.”

“But I don’t want to be with you Arnav! Just let me go, forget about me.”

“I can’t! You don’t get it. I’ve never cared about another woman. I care about you!”

“You keep saying that, but I’ve never felt cared by you. As for you following me around, I know you need control. How do I know you weren’t just following me around because you weren’t ready to see me with anyone else?”

 

Slamming his fist against the steering wheel, Arnav knew that he was running out of chances. If he didn’t say something that made her believe him, then he may lose her completely and he wasn’t about to accept that.

 

“I know I care about you Khushi. I don’t know if it’s love, but I know I care. Give me one chance, just one, to search these feelings.”

“I can’t…”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get hurt while helping you find your feelings. I can’t put myself through that.”

“Please.”

“I just can’t…”

 

She seemed adamant that her answer was no. That she wasn’t about to go back.

 

“Khushi, please. No playroom, no dominating, no punishments. Just me and you, and you’ll lead the way while I find me feet.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to have a normal relationship. One without your room.”

“I have never tried it, but I want to prove to you that I care about you. And if I need to give that part of me up, then I am willing to do it. I want you Khushi, I need you. Please let me try and fix this between us.”

 

She felt so overwhelmed. She hadn’t expected this, hadn’t expected Arnav to be willing to walk away from his world for her sake. That’s what she wanted, what she had hoped for, but she had lost hope of it ever happening.

Khushi wanted to say yes, this is what she wanted, a chance at a normal relationship with Arnav, but she didn’t know if he could do it.

 

“I don’t know…”

“How about I let you think about it for a while? And when you’ve made a decision you’ll let me know?”

 

This sounded like a good idea. She wanted this, god knew how much she did, but… Could he really change? Could he really walk away from a part of his life that helped make him who he is? Had she unknowingly actually changed him that he was ready to leave everything behind and start a new type of life with her?

 

“I will think about it. But I need you to think about something too.”

“Anything.”

“I want you to really think about us. If I agree to this, I want long term, I want forever. Arnav… I will think about this, but I need you to think too. Do you really want me for me, do you really care about me because I’m important to you? I need you to think about all these things. Because if you don’t think that you care for me, or that I am really, really important to you, then you’ll never be able to give me what I want. And if you can’t give me what I want then there’s no point us wasting our time.”

“I will. I will think about everything. I promise. Thank you Khushi! Thank you so much.”

 

Taking her hand into his, he pressed a kiss against her knuckles before pulling away and getting the car back into gear. The mood within the car lightened slightly and both Arnav and Khushi felt hopeful. Maybe there was a future for them after all?

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 17

Pulling herself off the hard bench, Khushi attempted to make her way to her room when Arnav stopped her, lifting her into his arms.

 

“It’s okay, I can go.”

“Khushi, please, let me.”

 

She didn’t have the energy to fight with him, but she didn’t want this attention from him.

 

Five months had passed since the contract had been signed, five months since she’d allowed herself fully into his world. And in those five months, she realised right from the beginning that this was a royal mistake. She didn’t like what he did to her, what he did with her. Yes, what he did gave her a certain amount of pleasure, but it was no where near as pleasurable as their initial encounters. That first night, as much as it had hurt, she preferred that night and would happily live that night over and over again.

Since signing the contract, their relationship had been purely a dominant-submissive relationship. The lover he had been previously was gone, it was almost as though he had been a completely different man. Outside of the playroom, he didn’t really come near her, not the way he used to before the contract was signed.

 

With Khushi in his arms, Arnav made his way over to the door, opened it and then walked out, into the long corridor and made his way down to her bedroom. She hated thinking of it like that, but it was essentially her bedroom. It was her space where she could do whatever she wanted and he wouldn’t say anything.

 

Since the signing of the contract had happened, there was zero romance taking place in the bedrooms. Whether it was Arnav’s bedroom or Khushi’s, there was no intimacy going on in there. Every evening, after they were done in the play room, Arnav would take Khushi into his arms, carry her to her room, kiss her on the forehead and then leave. And that was it. Other than that, he wouldn’t sleep with her in the same bed, nor would he even stay to just talk with her. She couldn’t deal with it any more.

 

*****

 

Much later the same evening, Khushi was fully dressed and she made her way downstairs to find Arnav. The lights were all off, but she could see his bedroom light was on. Taking a deep breath, Khushi began her way down to his bedroom.

Door wide open, Khushi took Arnav in. Lying back in his bed, his phone was in his hands and he was texting away. She took in his profile, he looked at ease, like he had no care in the world. This is always how he looked after they… Shaking her head, she wished that she could’ve made this work, that this was for her. But it wasn’t and she couldn’t do it any more.

Knocking on the door, Khushi looked down and waited for him to call her into the room.

 

“Khushi? What are you doing here at this time? How come you aren’t asleep yet? Come in.”

 

Walking tentatively into his room, Khushi looked everywhere except in the direction that Arnav was sitting. He pat the edge of his bed, letting her know that he wanted her to come and sit by him. Perching on the edge of the bed, Khushi looked at her lap, not sure how she wanted to approach the topic.

 

“Why are you sitting so far away from me. Come closer.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi remained where she was. She needed distance so that she would be able to think straight. She didn’t want to be close to him, it would just cloud her thoughts.

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you please put your shirt on?”

“What?”

“Can you please just…”

“Okay, okay.”

 

Reaching over the edge of the bed, Arnav grabbed hold of his t shirt and pulled it on over his head.

 

“Better?”

“Much better.”

“Khushi, what’s the issue? What’s wrong?”

“I…”

 

He took her in. The way she was fiddling with her hands, the way her whole body looked tense, the way she refused to come closer to him. It all set alarms off in his head.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Arnav I…”

 

Taking a deep breath, she realised that there was no point stalling or longing the moment out. What needed to be done, needed to be done.

 

“I can’t do this any more.”

“You can’t do what any more?”

“Us… This… The contract. I can’t…”

 

Arnav had had a feeling that something like this was coming, but he couldn’t believe that she’d actually come to this decision. Sitting up straighter, Arnav moved towards Khushi, tried to touch her hand, but she moved away.

 

“I’ve been thinking about it for ages, so please don’t try to change my mind. My mind is made up. I don’t want this any more.”

“Surely there is some way I can make you reconsider.”

 

He moved closer to her, tried to touch her, but her mind was made up. Getting to her feet, she stood before him, looking away.

 

“I want to end this contract and I want to leave.”

“You can’t just do that.”

“Arnav. I don’t want this. I want out.”

“But if you end this, that’s it, me and you, it’s over. Aren’t you going to miss me?”

“I will… But Arnav this life isn’t for me.”

“I don’t understand why it isn’t.”

“I want love and I want passion. We don’t have that.”

“You think what we share isn’t passionate?”

“It maybe for you, but it isn’t for me. Arnav I want to be able to cuddle with you, fall asleep with you and wake up with you. I want you to hold me close and kiss me. And you don’t believe in any of that. Since we signed that damn contract, when was the last time you actually held me close to yourself and kissed me?”

“Is that a trick to question? I kissed you only a little while ago when we were in the playroom.”

“That’s the point! Outside the playroom there is basically no relationship between us. You don’t kiss me outside the playroom, you don’t hold me… Falling asleep together is out of the question for you. Even when we do kiss, it isn’t like how it used to be before. When you kiss me, I don’t feel fireworks like I used to. I just feel… Just feel used and I hate that. I don’t want all this.”

 

How could she just decide that she didn’t want this any more? Didn’t she realise how important she was to him? He’d let her meet his family, told her they could potentially have a future together and yet here she was, willing to throw it all away due to a technicality. He felt his anger rising, but he tried to keep himself in check. He didn’t want to scare her or really make her change her mind.

 

“Khushi, please, let’s try and make this work. I don’t want anyone else. I want to be with you and have this relationship with you.”

“You don’t understand Arnav. I don’t want this! This isn’t the kind of relationship I want. I don’t enjoy it. In the playroom, what happens between us, you love it and enjoy it, but I don’t. You thrive of it, but I just feel tired. And to be completely honest, I don’t find it as satisfying as you do. This isn’t what I want. I want out. That’s my final decision.”

 

She folded her arms over her chest, making it clear to Arnav that her mind was made up and that she wasn’t about to go back on her word.

 

“If you want out now, that’s it, there’s no coming back.”

“I’ve not enjoyed this from the beginning, I doubt anything is going to change. So can we just end the contract and can I leave?”

“Didn’t you read the small print, you can’t just terminate the contract when you feel like it.”

 

Thinking back to the contract, Khushi tried to remember what clauses he had in place in regards to ending the contract. She couldn’t for the life of her remember what the contract said.

 

“If you don’t remember, allow me to remind you. In the contract it states that if the submissive wants to terminate the contract before the dominant sees fit, she is subject to punishment.”

“Punishment… What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I have to punish you. You want to terminate the contract and leave this relationship, fine, so be it. But you have to be punished before you leave.”

“You want to punish me?”

“You aren’t leaving me with much choice.”

“You want to hurt me?”

“Again, it’s nothing personal, just a part of the contract.”

“Do I mean nothing to you? You actually want to hurt me?”

“Either you stay with me in this relationship, or you receive your punishment and then leave.”

“What if I just escape and never come back?”

“I will find you Khushi. You know I will. The choice is yours.”

“I want out.”

“Then go to the playroom and be ready for me.”

“No… We’ve already… I can’t… We can’t do it again.”

“You think I am sending you to the playroom because I want to touch you? No Khushi. Today you’re going to receive a different treatment in there.”

“I don’t…”

“You’ve ended our contract, so I’m never going to touch you like that again. But you still have to go to the playroom.”

 

*****

 

Wiping away her tears, Khushi picked up her packed bag and made her way downstairs.

Her buttocks were sore and her heart was shattered, but she couldn’t spend another moment here.

Looking over the room one last time, she switched off the light and shut the door behind her. She was done with this place and all the crap that came with it.

Making her way down the stairs, Khushi’s eyes ran over the apartment, taking in everything that had become some familiar to her. This had almost become like her home. Almost.  Yes, she hadn’t been entirely happy here, but when she was here she had hope that she would make Arnav see how much she cared for him and wanted him. But five months had passed and no change had taken place. He hadn’t changed and she realised he wouldn’t. He was too set in his own ways and it was evident he didn’t care for her enough to try and change.

 

“Khushi…”

 

There he was. Stood in front of the door. Was he waiting for her to leave? Or was he going to ask her to reconsider?

 

“Have you got everything?”

“Yes.”

“Khushi… I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Please can you just…”

“No. I can’t stay, I can’t reconsider. Maybe if you hadn’t punished me, maybe… But I can’t spend another moment with you now. I want nothing to do with you from this moment onwards.”

 

He looked away. He wanted to stop her from leaving, but he knew there was no point. The way she said she wanted nothing to do with him… Her voice was filled with hate and anger. There was no way of making her reconsider.

Khushi’s mind was made. She didn’t want this type of relationship. She wanted romance and love and lifetime commitment. He just wanted control. There was no space for love in his life. There was no point holding onto her.

 

“I’m going to miss you Khushi.”

“I will miss you too. But I… I’m better off without you.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi turned away.

 

“Goodbye Arnav.”

 

Pushing the button to the lift, the door opened instantly and Khushi stepped inside. She turned to look at him one last time, a tear rolling down her face.

 

“Goodbye.”

 

The doors of the lift clanged shut and she was gone. Arnav felt immobile. She’d gone? She actually left him? How could she!? Didn’t she realise he needed her? God damn her.
Picking up a vase, Arnav threw it at the closed doors of the lift. Screw Khushi.

 

*****

 

Tears rolling down her face, Khushi couldn’t believe that she was leaving him. She’d grown so attached to him, she didn’t think she’d be able to do it, but she had. She was free from Arnav and his dominating nature. She was free and she was going to start again…

 

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 16

Dressed in a simple mid length black dress with a mesh shrug, Khushi checked herself out in the mirror before proceeding to apply lipstick. Lips already lined, she went in to fill in her lips with the boldest and most striking shade of red she owned. Once done, she put down the lipstick, made sure that it looked perfect and then went to pick up her handbag. Putting it onto her shoulder, Khushi was finally ready.

Today was the day, the day Khushi had been dreading. It was contract signing day. In her heart Khushi knew this isn’t what she wanted, but she wanted Arnav. She didn’t want to have to let him go or give him up because of this. But at the same time she knew that this was a big deal, a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the big brown envelope which contained the detailed contract with all her annotations and she slipped it into her bag before taking out her phone to call for a taxi.

Walking past her room, Lavanya almost walked on by without noticing Khushi. Almost.

 

“Woah.”

 

Turning, Khushi looked at Lavanya who was stood in her doorway, her mouth open and eyes wide.

 

“What?”

“Have you seen yourself?”

“Do I look bad?”

“No! You look sexy as hell! What the hell Khushi, I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“It’s better than okay. ASR isn’t going to be able to keep his hands off of you.”

 

That’s the plan, Khushi thought to herself with a smirk.

 

“So you guys have a hot date planned?”

“Something like that.”

“Is he coming to collect you?”

“No, I said I’d meet up with him.”

 

Nodding, La blew Khushi a kiss before leaving her again. Checking herself one last time, Khushi left her room and made her way down to get her taxi.

 

*****

 

Sat waiting in the boardroom of his company, was Arnav Singh Raizada. He was dressed in one of his best business suits, hair styled to perfection and wore his best cologne. He had thought the negotiation of the contract would take place at his apartment, but Khushi had said she wanted it to be in the office, like a proper negotiation. Arnav couldn’t lie, the thought of it all turned him on. As much as he liked having control, a woman demanding what she wanted from him was also sexy and something he admired.

The table in his boardroom was a fairly long one, it could seat 20 people altogether. One person on each end and then nine on each side. The leaned back in his chair, anticipating what was to come. Khushi was actually going to sign the contract! She was finally going to be his.

A knock on the door brought Arnav out of his thoughts.

 

“Sir, Miss Gupta is here.”

“Send her in.”

 

A moment later, Khushi walked into the boardroom, her stride confident, her hips swaying. Arnav took her in, her perfect body, her long legs, her dark walnut coloured her… Getting to his feet, he offered Khushi the seat at the other end of the table.

 

“How are you today Khushi?”

“I’m good, yourself?”

“I’m just ready to get this show on the road.”

 

Taking out her copy of the contract from her bag, she opened it up and waited as Arnav opened up his own.

 

*****

 

Time ticked on as they went through the contract, Khushi doing most of the talking, telling Arnav exactly what he should cross out because there’s no way in hell she was going to even attempt that.

Throughout the course of the meeting, Arnav got more and more frustrated, she was taking so much out, only the mere basics were being left behind.

 

“Can we at least try it once before you say it’s a hard no.”

“No. Next point.”

 

She wasn’t really negotiating, she was telling him directly what was a no and she was sticking to her no. At many points Arnav was ready to throw in the towel and say he was done, that this wouldn’t work for him, but he wanted Khushi in a way he’d never wanted anyone before. And she knew it and was playing on it to the best of her ability. If this was any other woman, he would have told her where the door was hours ago, but this was Khushi. Something about her made him willing to her demands. She did something to him and he wasn’t sure yet if he liked it or not.

Much, much later, they’d been through the contract, discussed all the terms and signed them.

 

“I’ll have a new copy with all the alterations drawn up as soon as possible.”

“So is this official now?”

“Yeah, it is.”

 

Arnav got to his feet and walked over to Khushi.

 

“I think we need to celebrate.”

“What did you have in mind?”

 

Pulling her off the chair and onto her feet, Arnav wrapped his arms around her waist.

 

“Do you have any idea how sexy you’re looking today?”

 

Her eyes lowered as a blush spread across her cheeks. Khushi’s hands raised and she placed them on his chest.

 

“You look as handsome as ever Mr Raizada.”

 

Placing his hands on her waist, he pulled her into himself, their hips touching. Khushi draped her arms around his neck as Arnav lowered his lips to her neck, placing a line of kisses on her neck and along her collar bone. His hands moved to her shoulders, pushing the shrug away, all the while continuing his assault on her neck. His hands found their way onto the back of his neck as she held him closer to herself, tipping her head back out of pleasure and giving him more exposure of her neck.

 

*****

 

Perched on the end of the table, Khushi had her legs wrapped around Arnav’s waist while they carried on kissing. Khushi’s dress was bunched down around her waist and Arnav’s shirt lay forgotten halfway across the boardroom. Breaking the kiss, he pushed her back onto the table, pulling her dress away from her body, taking her panties with the dress. Picking up his tie, he used it to bind her wrists and then proceeded to pull his trousers and his boxers away.

 

“Is the table not going to break?”

“Guess we’ll have to find out.”

 

Positioning himself between her legs, Arnav leaned forward and pressed another kiss on her lips before letting himself stroke her body. Her skin was so smooth, silky even.

Ready to go, Arnav parted her legs, making sure she was ready. He was just about to go when Khushi stopped him.

 

“What’s the matter?”

“Protection…”

“I thought you went to the gynaecologist about birth control.”

“I did, but I want to give it a week.”

 

Nodding, he found his trousers and fished out his wallet to find a shiny silver packet. It made Khushi blush every time she saw one, but needs must. She wanted to take it from him and put it on him herself, but she wasn’t sure if she was bold enough to do that yet.

Emptying the packet and pulling the contents of the pack over himself Arnav was ready to go.

 

*****

 

Some time later, Arnav lay spent beside Khushi on the table, while she remained how she was, panting for breath. She felt slightly sore from the vigorousness of his actions, but she didn’t want to say. Her wrists also hurt slightly. He’d tied the tie quite tightly around her wrists and they had remained tied for a while and so hurt a bit.

Propping himself up, Arnav looked to Khushi and laughed.

 

“What’s so funny?”

“You have red lipstick smeared all over.”

“I’ll have to clean it up before we leave.”

“You should wear red lipstick more often, it suits you.”

 

Pushing herself up, Khushi went to locate her clothes and began to get dressed, while Arnav lay back watching her. He watched as she located her bra and put it on. He watched as she fiddled with the clasp, unable to fasten it because she could feel his heated gaze on her. Arnav smirked and got off the table, went round and stood behind her. He clipped it together in half a moment and pressed a kiss onto one of her shoulder blades.

 

“Thanks.”

 

He went back to the table with all his clothes in his arms and carried on watching her get dressed as he got dressed himself. He watched as she pulled the dress on over her head, and then sorted herself out.

 

“Are you going to just watch me or are you going to get dressed as well?”

“I wouldn’t mind just watching you.”

 

Shaking her head, she proceeded to clean up her messed up lipstick.

Once they were both ready and decent, they left the boardroom and made their way down to Arnav’s car.

 

“So you’re going to pick you up this weekend so we can go to the apartment?”

“Sure.”

“I can’t wait to take you to the playroom.”

 

She felt a shiver run through her body at the thought of the playroom. Khushi still wasn’t sure how she felt about his world, but she understood where he came from and she wanted to help him. Maybe bring him out of the world he’d settled himself into. But was her love enough to change how he’d chosen to live for such a long amount of time?

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 15

“I’ll sign the contract.”

 

Arnav turned to Khushi, his eyes wide. Did she just say what he thought she said?

 

“I mean there are things we need to negotiate, but yes, I will sign it.”

 

Gathering her into his arms, Arnav pressed a quick kiss on Khushi’s lips before proceeding to press a line of kisses along her neck. His hand wandered along to her exposed midriff and stayed there, feeling her smooth skin.

Moving away from her neck, he inched closer to her lips again, which were already parted, waiting for him. Centimetres apart, Khushi could feel his breath against her lips, as she moved closer, trying to get to him faster. His lips brushed against hers when there was an abrupt knock on the door.

 

“Chote? Are you and Khushi in there?”

 

Jumping apart, Khushi fixed her sari and looked at Arnav, who was beyond annoyed.

 

“We’re busy Di.”

“You can’t be too busy, you aren’t married yet. Come downstairs quickly, mama and mami are ready to cut their cake.”

 

The sound of Anjali’s shoes moving away from the door could be heard clearly, and Arnav waited until he could no longer hear her heels before moving back in. However, Khushi placed her hand between their lips, laughed and then got to her feet.

 

“We should go, everyone’s waiting for us.”

“Do we have to?”

 

Laughing, Khushi places her hand in Arnav’s and pulls him to his feet.

 

“Come on.”

“Did you hear that joke Di made? About how we can’t be too busy because we aren’t married yet?”

“I did hear that.”

“It’s so presumptive of her to assume that we aren’t having sex because we aren’t married. We could have been.”

“Your sister seems very traditional. I understand where she’s coming from.”

 

Shaking his head, Arnav decided that he didn’t want to proceed with this conversation right now. Taking Khushi’s hand, he opened the door and they began to make their way back to everyone else.

At the dining table, the whole family was stood around mama and mamiji, and there was a large cake on the table, waiting for them to cut.

 

“Finally, Chote and Khushi are here too. The cake can be cut.”

 

Picking up the knife, mama and mami held it together as sliced into the cake. Everyone clapped for them, congratulating them on another year of their marriage. Mama ji took a bit of the cake and fed mami and then mami did the same. Khushi watched as they fed each other cake and then they started going round the family members. She couldn’t help but notice how in love mami and mama seemed to be. Even after being married for so long, she could see that there was still a spark between them and she couldn’t help but wonder if her and Arnav would also be able to last that long and if they would still have a spark between them. It was undeniable that they had a spark between them now. But would the fire between them last? Or would it go out after a while?

 

*****

 

Once the cake and everything else had been cleared up, the Raizada’s all sat down together with Arnav and Khushi, just talking about life in general.

 

“So Khushi, what do you do?”

“I’ve just graduated so I’m looking for work.”

“That’s great! What did you major in?”

“English literature.”

“That’s so interesting. What are you plans for the future regarding our brother?”

 

Looking over at Arnav, Khushi bit her lip slightly. What was she meant to say? How was she meant to answer this? She knew what she wanted but Arnav…

 

“Di, our relationship is still new. Once we get into the swing of things, we’ll let you know where we are going next.”

“I’m just trying to make conversation.”

“I know Di, but honestly, by asking us about the future constantly, you’re putting pressure on us. We just want to enjoy, get to know each other and then see where things go.”

 

Nani shook her head hearing this.

 

“Kids these days. They need to enjoy themselves first. In our day, our parents selected someone for us and that was it. We got to know them after marriage. Now, kids meet someone, have as much fun as they want, and half the time don’t even end up staying together.”

 

Nani saying this made Khushi feel slightly uncomfortable. She understood exactly what Nani was saying and she also agreed with her, but Khushi didn’t like that Nani was probably judging her because of what Arnav was saying. She didn’t want Nani to think that she was one of those girls who would simply stay with a man, have fun and not think about the future. Khushi did think about the future, she wanted a future with Arnav because she knew that if she could get him to open up, if she could look into his heart, she would be able to, in time, start reversing the years of pain that had hardened him. She knew that she cared about him enough and that if she tried hard enough, she would be able to change him.

 

“You don’t need to worry about that with us. I intend on keeping Khushi forever.”

 

Payal and Anjali aww-ed at this comment of Arnav’s. How romantic, he wanted to stay with Khushi forever. But Khushi had heard his wording. He didn’t want to stay with her forever, he wanted to keep her forever. Everyone else seemed to have ignored his wording, most people probably would, however Khushi didn’t like it. She didn’t want to be kept, she wanted to be loved and cherished. She wasn’t a trophy to win and then keep for the rest of time.

Tonnes and tonnes of different thoughts fluttered through Khushi’s mind. But she pushed them all away. There was a time and place for everything and now was not the time to start doubting Arnav’s intentions.

 

*****

 

As the evening at the Raizada house came to a close, Khushi realised that she really like Anjali. Payal was quiet but she too was very nice. But in general, the Raizada’s were all very warm and welcoming and Khushi felt like she was one of them in no time.

 

“Please come back again soon Khushi. It was lovely seeing you. Even if you don’t come with Chote, just come on your own. We’d love to have you again.”

“Thank you so much Anjali Ji.”

“Please, call me Di.”

 

Blushing, Khushi hugged Anjali. She truly was one of the nicest people Khushi had ever met.

 

“Chote, you’re coming back soon to sort some paperwork with me aren’t you?”

“Yes Di, I’ll come before next weekend.”

“Pakka?”

“Pakka Di.”

 

Anjali hugged her brother tightly and Khushi noticed the tears gathering in her eyes. It was evident that the siblings shared a very strong bond, one where they cared about each other a lot.

Finally, after all farewells had been done, Arnav and Khushi took their leave.

 

*****

 

“Your family are lovely.”

“They are, but they can be crazy as well. But I guess I wouldn’t change them for the world. I’m grateful that I have them.”

“Thank you for letting me meet them. And also thank you for telling me about yourself.”

 

Arnav just smiled. He wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed with this conversation, so chose to shut it down altogether. A smirk played on his lips as he remembered something that she’d said to him earlier.

 

“So… You’re going to sign the contract.”

“After we go through it. There’s so much I want to change. So much that I don’t actually even understand…”

“So how about we have a meeting once you’ve read through it and talk through it”

“Okay, yeah sure.”

“But first, can I take you back to mine, I’ve missed you.”

“Arnav…”

 

She wanted to object, remind him that he’s said he wouldn’t touch her again until the contract had been dealt with, but she found herself just nodding to what he had said. She’d missed him too. And considering she hadn’t signed the contract yet, he couldn’t inflict anything crazy on her. Yet.

 

*****

 

They got back to the city and made their way to Arnav’s apartment. The very same one she’d woken up in that day she got drunk after graduation.

 

“I haven’t brought you back here since that first day, have I?”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi unclipped her seatbelt and they made their way up to his apartment.

He took her hand in his own as he opened the door and ushered her inside. Once inside, Arnav’s hands were on her, under her sari.

 

“Did I tell you how fucking sexy you look in this sari?”

“No you didn’t.”

“You look fucking sexy in that sari.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.”

 

Leading Khushi to his bedroom, he pushed her down straight onto his bed. Loosening his tie, Arnav stripped out of his clothes before coming back to Khushi and unravelling her sari. He made light work of the sari that had taken her almost half an hour to get right.

Once he’d completely freed them both of their clothes, he picked up his tie and wrapped it around Khushi’s wrists.

 

“What are you…”

“Giving you your first taste of how things can be once you sign the contract.”

“Arnav…”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s going to be fine.”

 

Once he made sure that her wrists were tightly tied, he then proceeded to tie her to the headboard.

 

“Wait! Stop!”

 

Arnav chuckled and pressed a kiss onto Khushi’s lips. He reassured her that she had nothing to worry about. This time would be the same as all the other times, only difference would be that she was tied to the bed. Khushi didn’t like the idea of being unable to move her hands, but she went along with it. Even know she was nervous, she knew this was something she knew she could actually deal with.

 

“You know, you should feel honoured right now. I’ve never had sex with anyone in this bed before. Come to think of it, I’ve never had sex with anyone in any of my personal beds before. We’ve already done it in my other bed and now we’re doing it in this one too.”

 

Blushing, Khushi took his words in. Did that mean he saw her as being different to all the other girls that he’d been with? Did that mean he saw her as something special, hence why he was willing to do this with her in his own bed? Surely he must find her special, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have introduced her to his family, nor would he reassure her that marriage was something that they could work towards at some point.

 

*****

 

Not long after Arnav had tied Khushi up, he was releasing her again once more. Both panting frantically, a layer of sweat glistened on both Arnav and Khushi. He moved himself off of her and grabbed at his clothes and pulled them back on again.

 

“You okay?”

 

Nodding, Khushi hid her face with the duvet. How could she ever admit that she actually enjoyed what they had just and how they had done it? But Arnav didn’t seem as though he was about to ask her about it. He was dressed again in no time and he was getting out of bed.

 

“Arnav, where are you…”

“I have work to do.”

“But now? It’s getting late and we just…”

“You can sleep or relax, but I have stuff I need to do.”

 

With that, Arnav grabbed his laptop and left the bedroom. Khushi couldn’t believe it. He never left her so soon after they’d gotten intimated and now this? Was this how it would be if she signed the contract? Would he just walk off as soon as he was done. What about simply basking in the afterglow with each other? Just cuddling and letting sleep take over?

Laying back in bed, a million thoughts whizzed around Khushi’s head. Was this contract really one worth signing? Should she really put herself out there for him like this if he didn’t even care enough to stay with her after getting close to her? Khushi realised that there were a lot of things she needed to think through before she could sign the contract, but before all that, she really needed to get some sleep.

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 14

The next weekend arrived fast and Khushi found herself feeling super nervous that she was soon going to meet the Raizada’s. She’d made piles and piles of clothes that she wasn’t sure if she should wear or not. Arnav had been no help. He’d told her it wouldn’t even matter if she turned up in a bikini, they just wanted to meet her.

 

“Lavanya, help me na, what am I supposed to wear?”

“What did Arnav say?”

“He told me I could wear a bikini and no one would care.”

“He probably has a point.”

“I know, but I don’t want to make a bad impression on them. I want to make a good first impression. I want them to know that I am serious about Arnav.”

 

Khushi moved away from her own wardrobe and went to open Lavanya’s.

 

“Can I pick something from your wardrobe?”

“Go for it.”

 

Opening up the wardrobe, Khushi filtered through Lavanya’s wardrobe, trying to find something to wear. Lavanya’s wardrobe consisted majorly of western dresses and as much as Khushi knew she’d be able to rock one, she decided that she wanted to wear either a sari or a kameez.

 

“La, can I wear your black sari?”

“Sure you can. But isn’t that too see through for you?”

“It probably is, but it’s designer.”

“Khushi. You don’t need to wear a designer sari to impress the Raizada’s.”

“I know, but I just want them not to doubt me at all.”

 

Taking the sari out for Khushi, Lavanya draped it over her and then stood back.

 

“I think you can really pull this off.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yeah! Of course! You’re going to stun the Raizada’s and Arnav!”

 

Blushing, Khushi turned away and placed her hand over her beating heart.

 

“I really hope that I can impress them all.”

 

*****

 

“Is she ready?”

 

Arnav walked into the little living room and took a seat. Lavanya came and sat opposite him.

 

“She’s just picking some jewellery.”

“Is she nervous?”

“Of course she is! I’m surprised she still has nails at all considering the way she’s been biting them.”

 

Arnav ran his hand through his hair. He’d always been super careful so his family didn’t find out about the women he had in his life because he knew they weren’t permanent and he didn’t want his family to get their hopes up, thinking that he was going to settle down. Now, his family had found out that he has a woman in his life and he knew it was going to be the start of a million different questions.

Arnav was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a light cough behind him. Turning around, he saw Khushi behind him.

She was wearing a simple, black chiffon sari, which did nothing to actually cover her body. He could see her toned stomach through the sari. The blouse was silver with pearls all over it. She’s decided to team her outfit up with a pair of simple pearl stud earrings and a pearl necklace. His eyes fell down to her shoes, she was wearing six inch silver heels. He’d never seen her like this before, and he loved this look, this side of her.

She never failed to mesmerise him and Arnav realised then that he would never be over her. Everything about her stunned him. Getting to his feet, Arnav reached out for Khushi and placed a kiss on her cheek.

 

“You look stunning as always.”

 

She looked up and as their eyes met, Khushi smiled. She hadn’t seen him since last weekend. They’d spoken, but it had been a busy week and so they hadn’t had the opportunity to meet up. Lavanya looked at the couple and she couldn’t help but smile. She’d always wanted Khushi to find someone who would love her and treat her like she was the most precious person on earth and now it seemed like she had.

Arnav wrapped an arm around Khushi.

 

“Are you ready to leave?”

 

Nodding, Khushi picked up her clutch off the coffee table, but Lavanya stopped them.

 

“Let me take a picture of you guys. You look so amazing!”

 

Arnav chuckled and held Khushi close while Lavanya took her phone out.

Placing her hand on his chest, and Arnav made sure Khushi was as close to him as possible.

 

“Perfect.”

 

Snapping a couple of pictures, Lavanya got what she wanted and let them got on with their evening.

 

“Are you going to bring Khushi home this evening?”

“It’s up to her.”

 

Turning to Khushi, Lavanya raised her eyebrow. Looking between Arnav and La, Khushi thought about it.

 

“I’ll call you and let you know I’m a bit.”

 

Taking their leave, Arnav and Khushi left and got into his car and began their journey towards Shantivan.

 

*****

 

When they finally pulled up in front of Shantivan, Khushi took a deep breath and took her seatbelt off.

 

“Khushi wait.”

 

Turning to face him, Khushi looked at Arnav with a question in her eyes.

 

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just a bit nervous to be meeting your family so soon.”

“Don’t worry about them, they know not to bother you. Come on, let’s get this show on the road.”

 

Arnav got out of the car and rushed over to Khushi’s side and helped her out. Taking her hand, he helped her down and then wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the front door.

Reaching the door, Arnav rang the doorbell, his arm still firmly around Khushi. The door opened a matter of seconds later, and there stood Anjali with a pooja ki thaal.

 

“Hi! Welcome! Come in!”

 

She did a quick aarthi and then ushered Arnav and Khushi into the house.

 

“Di, we aren’t married, you didn’t need to do aarthi.”

“I know that, but I wanted to welcome Khushi properly. You’ve never brought anyone home, so this must mean that Khushi is special. And due to that I want to make sure that she is welcomed properly so she has a good impression of us so that she stays with you.”

 

Khushi smiled at Anjali. Did she really mean it when she said that she wanted to make a good impression on her? Were they as anxious about meeting her as she was them?Anjali led Arnav and Khushi into the grand living area and Khushi looked around, taking in the room. It was large, with a high ceiling and had powder blue furnishing.

 

“You have a beautiful house Anjali ji.”

“Please call me Di and you should tell Chote that you like the house. He pretty much designed and decorated this entire house.”

 

Turning to Arnav, Khushi looked at him with wide eyes.

 

“I didn’t know you had such an interest in interior decorating.”

 

Shrugging hide shoulders, Arnav turned his attention to his sister.

 

“Di, where is everyone?”

“Hello hi bye bye. Is my Arnav bitwa looking for me?”

 

Turning, Khushi saw a middle aged woman, dressed in bright pinks and yellows walking down the stairs. She descended the stairs and rushed over to Arnav and gave him a hug.

 

“What is this Arnav bitwa? Ever since you’ve become a big business man, you don’t seem to have time for your mami at all.”

“Mami ji, you know it’s not like that.”

 

They broke their hug and Arnav introduced mami to Khushi.

 

“Khushi, this is mamiji. Mami ji, this is Khushi, my girlfriend.”

 

Mami ji looked Khushi up and down, taking in her outfit. Khushi felt herself sweat slightly under Mami’s glare and she pulled her pallu slightly.

 

“Very nice sari. I approve. Is it designer?”

“Ji Mami ji, but it isn’t mine…”

 

Biting her tongue, Khushi realised that maybe she shouldn’t have said this. She didn’t want them to think that she wasn’t capable of buying designer saris herself. But looking at both Mami and Anjali’s expressions, she realised that it really didn’t matter to them if it was hers or not. They were impressed regardless.

Letting out the breath that Khushi was holding. Mami ji turned her attention back to Arnav.

 

“Di, Nani, mama ji, Akash aur Payal kaha hai?”

“They’re coming chote. Give them a moment.”

 

There were so many people in the Raizada family that Khushi needed to meet. She was so worried that she wouldn’t impress someone and it would cause a problem between herself and Arnav.

Almost as though he read her mind, Arnav wrapped his arm around Khushi and held her close to himself.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Nodding Khushi turned her attention to the stairs where she saw a young couple walking down.

 

“Bhai! You made it!”

 

Akash and Payal made their way over to Arnav and Khushi. Akash hugged his brother and Payal smiled at Khushi.

 

“Akash, Payal, this is Khushi, my girlfriend. Khushi, this is Akash, my cousin and this is his wife, Payal.”

 

They all greeted each other and made small talk as they sat and waited for Nani ji and mama ji to come down.

Mama ji came next. He hugged his nephew and greeted Khushi before going and taking a seat by Manorama.

They all sat together, talking about dinner and asking Arnav and Khushi about their relationship. Khushi felt like she didn’t know what to say, for she wasn’t entirely clear on their relationship herself. She chose to remain fairly quiet, and let Arnav do the majority of the talking and only spoke when she knew what to say.

After ages of waiting, finally Nani came down the stairs and over to the living area where everyone was waiting for her. Her eyes instantly fell on Arnav, and tears gathered in her eyes.

Arnav got to his feet and made his way over to his Nani.

 

“Mera Chote. You’ve come home after such a long time. Why have you stayed away from your Nani for so long?”

 

Hugging Nani, he wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes and introduced her to Khushi. Khushi put her hands together and greeted Nani.

 

“Namaste Naniji.”

 

Nani took Khushi into her arms and hugged her. Khushi’s eyes widened as she looked at Arnav over Nani’s shoulder.

 

“Jeete ro bitya. I must say Chote, you have picked yourself a beautiful girl.”

 

Blushing a deep shade of red, Khushi looked down, feeling shy.

 

“When are you planning on getting married?”

“Nani, we’ve only met recently, marriage is still out of the picture for now.”

 

Both Nani and Anjali put their hands on their hips and looked at Arnav and Khushi.

 

“Surely you guys have some kind of faint idea.”

 

Arnav shook his head.

 

“Anyway, today isn’t about me and Khushi, today is mama and Mami’s day. Shall we go and celebrate that?”

 

*****

 

The Raizada’s and Khushi were all sat around the dining table, eating and laughing at stories that were being shared. Khushi couldn’t help but feel herself loosen up. She’d been so worried about making a good impression that she hadn’t really been focusing on anything else. However, now being here, she realised that she hadn’t needed to have worried so much. The Raizada’s were good, welcoming people. They liked to have fun and they were all very open. It made her really think about Arnav. He was so much more different than the rest of his family. Even now, they were all joking together, and even though he was partaking in the jokes, he never made his own jokes, never really let his own guard down. It made her wonder why, why he was like that and why he chose the life that he had chosen for himself.

Once dinner was over and dessert had been eaten, everyone moved back to the living room.

 

“Chote, why don’t you go and show Khushi you’re childhood bedroom?”

 

Nodding, Arnav got up, took Khushi’s hand and led her up the stairs.

As they went up, he showed and explained everything they passed. He told her which was Di’s room, which was Nani’s room, which was Mama and Mami’s, which was Akash and Payal’s. Finally they reached the door at the end of the long corridor and Arnav slid open the lock and pushed the door open.

 

“Welcome to my childhood bedroom.”

 

Arnav led Khushi into the room and shut the door behind himself. Looking around, Khushi took in the chic decor. She took in the large fur rug, the large bed, and the stylish recliner. Her eyes then fell outside the window and saw that there was a small pool.

 

“You have your own pool?”

“It’s only 3 feet deep, but yes, I have my own pool.”

 

She carried on looking around, taking in all the framed photographs that were dotted around the room. There were many of Arnav on his own, from various points of his life. Khushi noted how the younger Arnav’s had a much more softer look in his eyes than the older Arnav’s or the Arnav that was stood before her. A couple of the pictures were on him and his sister through the years. And then there was a final photograph, one with a man and a woman, two people that Khushi hadn’t met before, yet felt like she knew. The woman had the same eyes as Arnav, only her eyes were much, much softer, looked much happier. And the man had a stance that was similar to Arnav’s.

Walking over to where Khushi was standing, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

“That’s my mom and dad.”

“Your mom is so beautiful.”

“She was. She was the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“What happened to them?”

 

Taking Khushi’s hand, Arnav led her over to the bed, where he sat her down and then sat down beside her. He took a deep breath.

 

“They both killed themselves.”

 

Gasping, Khushi placed her hand over her mouth and took Arnav into her arms.

 

“I’m so sorry.”

“I was only 14 at the time. First my mom shot herself, and then my dad shot himself with the same gun after her. Within 10 minutes, I lost both my parents.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine…”

“He was having an affair. My dad, he was having an affair. How could he do that to my mom? When she found out, she tried to live with it, live with what he was doing behind her back, but she couldn’t, so she did what she needed to do to get away from him and his actions. Once dad realised what she did, he couldn’t live with the guilt, with the fact that he drove mom to suicide. So he picked up the gun and ended himself as well.”

“I’m so so sorry.”

“He was a coward, he couldn’t live with his actions.”

 

Tears were rolling down both their faces. Khushi took Arnav into her arms, letting him break down. She held him tight, making sure that he knew she was there for him. Once he stopped crying, he wiped his face and composed himself.

 

“Now do you see why I live the life I live?”

“Your parents actions hardened you.”

“No, no it’s not that. My parents lost control. My dad couldn’t control his desires and that led to him being the cause of them both ending their lives. I can’t afford to do that, I can’t lose control. I need to be in control, always.”

“You aren’t your parents Arnav. You may not lose control any way.”

“I may not, but I still have their blood running through me. The way I have chosen to live, I always have control. I can’t hurt myself or anyone else. I have control at all times.”

 

Placing her hand on Arnav’s knee, Khushi realised she finally understood why he was the way he was. Granted, she still didn’t 100% agree, but it made sense. She leaned in and placed a kiss on Arnav’s cheek. This contract, it was his way to stay in control because he felt that that was what he needed. But Khushi realised that what he really needed was someone’s love, to show him that losing control sometimes wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. She was ready to stay by his side and help him through this.

“I’ll sign the contract.”

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 13

After driving for a good half an hour, Khushi decided she wanted to talk to Arnav about what was on her mind.

 

“Arnav, may I ask you about something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea that you’ve invited me to meet your family?”

 

Arnav turns to Khushi momentarily and then turned away to watch the road again.

 

“Di’s seen you, she won’t rest until she’s sat down and spoken to you and become your best friend. Might as well get it over and done with.”

“So you don’t mind?”

“Khushi, I want you in my life for the long term. So it’s better you meet the family now.”

 

Nodding, Khushi turned her attention back onto the road. Then something hit her.

 

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Go for it.”

“Do your family know about… Your life?”

“Meaning?”

“About how you don’t do relationships and about your…”

“If you’re asking if my family know about my dominant lifestyle, then no. And I hope you can keep that to yourself too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you can’t tell anyone. Not your friends, or my family. The fact that I am a dominant is between you and me and no one else. If you tell anyone, then I punish you.”

“Punish me?”

“Haan Khushi, I punish you. The way I have chosen to live my life isn’t a simple one and would cause a lot of complications both in my professional life and in my personal life. So please, tell no one about anything. To the world we are like any other couple.”

“Okay, I understand.”

 

There was a moments silence before Khushi thought of something else she wanted to talk about.

 

“Who is there in your family?”

“Well you’ve met my Di. She’s my life, my everything.”

“She seems very nice.”

“She’s one of the best women you will ever meet in your life.”

“Who else is there?”

“Well then you have mama and mami ji, it’s their anniversary party that you have been invited to. Mama ji is your average mama, kind and supportive. And mami, she’s crazy! She loves talking English, but she’s not very good at it, and she loves bright colours and patterns. But she has a kind heart and life is never dull with her around.”

“Mami sounds amazing.”

“She is. She treats me like her own son. Sometimes it feels like she does love me more than her own son. Speaking of her son, we have my cousin Akash. He’s the best too. I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive and down to earth brother. I love him, and I know I can always depend on him. Then finally we have my Nani.”

“Tell me about nani ji.”

“Nani, is one of the strongest women I know, after my Di of course, but she’s so strong. She’s also very kind, very smart, but she can be very stern as well. But she loves me and everyone else. And I’m pretty sure she’ll love you too.”

“You’re family sound amazing Arnav!”

“They are, they really are.”

“Do you miss your parents?”

“I miss my mom. All the time, I wish she was still with me, but I don’t miss dad. I never did and I don’t think I ever will miss him.”

“Do you want to talk about him some more, maybe talk about why…”

“Maybe one day Khushi. But I’m not ready to talk about the darkness in my past just yet.”

 

Nodding, Khushi understood what he was saying and she didn’t want to force him to talk about something he didn’t want to talk about. The conversation reached a close and Khushi accepted that.

Turning her attention back to the outside world, Khushi thought back to everything that she had learnt that weekend. She thought back to the last time when she was in this car. She was so full of hope, she was so excited and then crazy things happened between her and Arnav. Now, she was slightly scared of what could be waiting for her, but she still felt hopeful. Maybe she could find a way to change Arnav’s thinking, maybe she would be able to find a way to stop this whole dominant-submissive relationship. Maybe, just maybe one day they will be able to have a normal relationship with a normal marriage. Maybe he’ll fall in love with her and he’ll happily change her life choices for her. Just maybe.

 

*****

 

After a long, long drive, they finally arrived at Khushi and Lavanya’s apartment. Cutting the engine, Arnav looked to Khushi.

 

“I know this weekend hasn’t exactly gone as smoothly as I thought it was going to go, but Khushi, I still liked having you around and I feel hopeful for what’s to come.”

“I do too.”

 

Leaning over, Arnav placed a light kiss on Khushi’s lips. Breaking away fairly quickly, he turned his attention to the glove box. Opening it, he took out an envelope and handed it to Khushi.

 

“This is our contract. Read through it, see what you think, make changes and then when you’re ready, we can go through it together and negotiate.”

“What if I don’t understand something?”

“Then just send me a message. Any time, don’t worry about it. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can and I’ll explain whatever it is you want to know, as well as I can.”

“When will I see you again?”

“I’ll come and pick you up so we can go to the party. But I’ll talk to you before that.”

 

Moving in, Khushi placed a quick kiss on Arnav’s lips before grabbing her bag and getting out of the car. Arnav too got out and took her luggage out for her. He carried it over to the door and Khushi told him she’d be able to manage from here.

Arnav stood their awkwardly for a second, before giving Khushi a quick hug and then making his way back to his car. Khushi turned and gave him a little wave before opening the door and going inside. Once inside, she heard the engine of the car start up and then it driving away.

 

*****

 

“Khushi! You’re back!”

 

La came running out of the kitchen and hugged Khushi.

 

“I’ve missed you so much!”

“I missed you too!”

“Liar! You were with ASR! I bet you didn’t even take a moment to think about me.”

“I promise La! I did remember you!”

“Okay okay, I believe you. Now tell me! What happened!”

 

Sitting down on the sofa, Khushi thought for a while before starting to speak.

 

“There’s not a lot to tell.”

“You spent the entire weekend with him! Something interesting must have happened?”

“Well… I met his sister and I’m going to meet the rest of his family next weekend.”

“Wait? You’ve met his sister?”

“Yes, she came to see him just as we were leaving, she seems really nice.”

“And you’re meeting the rest of the family next week?”

“Yep.”

“Isn’t that a bit… fast?”

“It is, but because I’ve seen his sister, he said she wouldn’t rest until she met me properly, so better to get the formalities out of the way I guess.”

“Makes sense, what else happened.”

 

How Khushi wanted to tell Lavanya about Arnav and his choice of lifestyle, but she knew she couldn’t. But she really needed to talk to someone about everything that was going on in her head. But that was one thing Arnav asked of her, she couldn’t disrespect his wishes like that.

 

“He’s really intense.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain it, but yeah, really, really intense.”

“That means the sex would be really good.”

 

Hitting Lavanya, Khushi shook her head.

 

“Wait you guys didn’t do it?”

“We did.”

“You did it?!”

“Yeah…”

“You had SEX with Arnav freaking Singh Raizada?”

“Yes…”

“HOW ARE YOU NOT JUMPING OFF THE ROOF OUT OF JOY.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi got to her feet.

 

“It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, or that it wasn’t good, it’s just… I don’t know if I’m the kind of person he wants. Like I really like him and I really want to be with him, but I don’t know if I’m as important to him as he is to me.

“What do you mean Khushi? He’s so into you.”

“I know but…”

 

Taking Khushi’s hands into hers, Lavanya made Khushi sit back down on the sofa.

 

“Look, I know what you’re thinking, but he’s really into you. Don’t let anything make you doubt that.”

“He said he’s prepared to marry me one day.”

 

Lavanya straighten up, her eyes wide.

 

“Wait. What?”

“I told him I didn’t want things to get too serious if there’s no chance of commitment from his side.”

“But Khushi, he doesn’t even believe in marriage, everyone knows that.”

“I know, but he said that if marriage is what it takes to keep me then he’s willing.”

“Then why are you doubting your relationship! He’s obviously super serious about you!”

 

Khushi felt confused. Lavanya had a point but at the same time it was the whole dominant-submissive thing that she was doubting. But she couldn’t explain that to La. Picking up her bag, Khushi excused herself, saying she wanted to get some rest.

 

“Didn’t get much sleep over the weekend huh.” Teased Lavanya.

 

Ignoring the comment, Khushi picked her things up and went into her room, taking the envelope with the contract out. She sat at her desk, taking some highlighters out and started to slowly go through the contract.

There was so much she didn’t understand and she made note of it so that she could ask him about it. There were some things that made her eyes widen and she thought hell no, and struck it out then and there.

Time passed and Khushi kept going, googling certain things she wanted to know. After a long time, a very long time, she was finally done.

 

Looking through her notes, she texted Arnav asking what certain things were and what they meant. Arnav replied almost instantly and he answered everything she wanted to know. It took a while to get through it all, but soon enough they were done.

 

*I really hope we can make this work Khushi*

 

His last text hit her hard, he really wanted this, he really wanted her. Putting her phone down, Khushi reviewed everything she’d looked at and learnt and realised, maybe they could do this without it being as horrific as she thought. Just maybe…

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 12

Slowly opening her eyes, the memories of the night before came back to Khushi fast and clear. She was prepared to tell Arnav she couldn’t do what he wanted, instead she’d ended up sleeping with him again. Running her hand through her hair, Khushi groaned at how her plan completely backfired. She sat up in bed and looked over at Arnav. He was still sleeping, looking as peaceful as ever. Like always, she couldn’t help but wonder how innocent he looked while he slept, yet how complex and intense he really was when awake. She also couldn’t help but feel really happy that he was still in bed and that he hadn’t left her while she was sleeping. Knowing that he didn’t sleep beside people, it made her really happy to be able to wake up beside him.

Getting out of bed, Khushi grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom. Arnav heard the door close and his eyes opened slowly. He looked around himself, he was in Khushi’s bedroom.

Rubbing his face, Arnav sat up in bed. He’d never slept in this bed before. This bed wasn’t for him to sleep in. He’d never laid beside a woman before, slept in the same bed as a woman all night. Yet he was bending his own rules for Khushi time and time again. Why was he doing this? How was he letting this happen?

Thoughts of the night before came flooding back. Her reasons why they shouldn’t stay together, her insistence that she ultimately wanted marriage. Those were reasons why he should let her go. But she did something to him. The way her body felt against his, the way she accommodated him perfectly. He couldn’t let her go, not after feeling all the things that he had felt with her. He’d never felt those things before with anyone else and he didn’t want to let those feelings go. Nothing was making sense, but Arnav knew that he needed to work it out and find a way to keep her.

 

*****

 

Whilst Arnav was in the bathroom, Khushi began to get breakfast ready. Last night didn’t go how it was meant to go, but she needed to make it clear to Arnav that she wasn’t about to go back on what she had said. She didn’t want to carry this on, whatever this was. She couldn’t. His world wasn’t for her and she wasn’t about to let herself get roped in. Khushi had made up yet mind, she knew what needed to be done, no matter how hard it proved to be.

A little while later, Arnav came down and sat down for breakfast.

 

“You’ve made breakfast again?”

“It’s not much.”

“I still appreciate this.”

 

Sitting in silence, they began to eat their food. Arnav knew that he should say something, but he wanted this moment to last. Khushi too knew that she needed to say something but at the same time, once she said what she wanted to say, that would be it, the moment would be over and they would be done.

They carried on eating, both in deep thought until Khushi finally spoke.

 

“Arnav…” She took a deep breath, bracing herself for what was to come. “Being here with you, being with you, it’s been fun but we both know this isn’t going to work out between us.”

 

Arnav put his fork down.

 

“I get that this whole dominant-submissive thing isn’t for you, but maybe we can find a way to work around it.”

“Even if we could, the main issue now is that you don’t want a marriage.”

 

Arnav clenched his fists. Marriage, marriage, marriage! That’s all she cared about.

 

“God damn it Khushi. Is that all you care about?”

“At this moment of time, yes. Because that is the fundamental issue.”

 

Arnav shook his head. Why was she being like this?

 

“Khushi, why can’t we just have some fun?”

“Because I don’t want a relationship that’s ‘just some fun’ for you, to become something more for me.”

“What do you mean?”

 

Looking down, Khushi realised maybe she said more than she should have.

 

“You can’t go quiet now, you have to explain.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Khushi began trying to verbalise what she’d been thinking.

 

“What I mean is, I really like you. Really, really like you. And I want to be with you. But you don’t want the same things as I do. I don’t want to agree to stay with you and fall in love with you, or get attached to you if I have to let you go.”

 

Arnav got off his chair and moved over to Khushi and took her hands in his.

 

“You wouldn’t have to let me go.”

“But I would. Because at some point or other, my family will make me get married. You don’t want marriage…”

 

She had a point, he knew that. At the end of the day she was an Indian girl. Regardless of anything else, in their culture, for a woman to be of age and not wed is something which would be talked about. Arnav knew this first hand. He remembered how people talked about his Di when she got a bit older but wasn’t getting married. They assumed things, they spoke behind their back, he hadn’t wanted it for his Di and he didn’t want it for Khushi either.

 

“Then I’ll marry you.”

 

Khushi’s head snapped up. Did he just say? No? No he couldn’t have. He didn’t even believe in marriage, why would he…

 

“What?”

“I don’t believe in marriage, but if you do then so be it. If the only way to keep you is by marrying you, then yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Arnav…”

“Don’t say anything. It’s not like I’m saying we should get married right now. What I’m saying is, if you want marriage, then I’m willing to marry you. If it means keeping you with me then I’ll do it.”

“I don’t know…”

“But, just because I’m saying I’m ready to marry you doesn’t mean it changes who I am. I still want you to go through the contract and I still want you to sign it.”

“I…”

“You’re issue was you wanted marriage, I’m willing, but you have to sign the contract to be my submissive.”

“But I don’t approve of the way you have chosen to live.”

“Then we have reached an impasse.”

 

Arnav stepped away from Khushi. He’s made his decision, and he was willing to do something he didn’t believe in for her. If after all this she wasn’t going to accept him and his way of life then there was nothing more he could do to keep her. If she wasn’t going to accept, then it was best if he just let her go. He was willing to do something he didn’t like for her sake, then she too should do the same for him.

 

“Can I have some time to actually go through the contract properly?”

“Yes, all the time you need.”

“Then give me some time to go through the contract and then we’ll see where we can go from there.”

“Take as long as you need. Until you’ve finished going through the contract, we won’t come back here again. And until you’ve signed it, I wouldn’t touch you again.”

“That sounds like a fair deal.”

 

Arnav didn’t know how long she’d take to go through the contract and he didn’t like that he’d just said he wouldn’t touch her again until she signed it, but he realised this was something that needed to happen if they were going to be able to move forward.

 

“Khushi, I think you should start packing and we should start making our way back soon. The drive back is going to take a long time.”

 

Nodding, Khushi stood and went away so that she could get her things together.

 

*****

 

Arnav and Khushi were ready to leave when the lift doors opened and a tall, beautiful woman walked in.

 

“Di?!”

 

Looking between Arnav and the woman who had just walked in, Khushi couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have been there at that point of time.

 

“Di, what are you going here?”

“I’ve come to see you of course.”

“But you should’ve called…”

“You never seem to be free when I call you beforehand and tell you I’m coming.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“I took a guess. Any way, stop being rude and introduce me to this lovely woman you have by your side.”

 

Arnav took a moment to compose himself.

 

“Di, this is Khushi, my girlfriend. Khushi, this is my Di, Mrs Anjali Jha.”

 

Anjali stepped forward and Khushi greeted her. Her mind was still slightly woolly from the fact that Arnav had just introduced her as his girlfriend to his sister.

 

“Namaste Anjali ji.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Chote, you didn’t even tell me you were seeing someone.”

“We haven’t been together long Di. When the time was right, I would’ve told you.”

“Are you guys going out?”

“I need to get back because I have work tomorrow and I need to get Khushi home as well.”

“Oh, so my timing wasn’t the best.”

 

Arnav hugged his sister and placed a kiss on her head.

 

“Di, you know I always make time for you, next time check with me first and I’ll surely make time for you.”

“I know Chote, I’ve just missed you that’s all. Any way, I needed to invite you to mama ji and mami ji’s anniversary party. It’s nothing big, just our family, but you have to come, it’s their 30th anniversary. It’s next weekend at our house.”

“Di you know family parties really aren’t my scene.”

“I know, but we haven’t got together as a family for so long, we all miss you so much. Please come.”

 

Arnav took a moment to weigh up his options. He did miss his family, especially his Di. But the moment he got with his family, everyone started pressuring him about marriage and that was one conversation he could do without. Especially now. But he realised he couldn’t stay away for ever and he knew his Di missed him more than anything else.

 

“I’ll be there.”

“Promise?”

“I promise Di.”

 

Anjali turned to Khushi.

 

“You must come too.”

“Me?”

“Yes, I’m sure everyone else would love to meet you too.”

 

Turning to Arnav, Khushi didn’t know what to say. Was this part of their arrangement? Was she meant to be meeting the family?

 

“I don’t know…”

“She’ll be there Di.”

 

Khushi turned to Arnav. What? Why was he letting her meet the rest of his family? What would she say to them? How would she explain anything to them.

 

“Excellent. Any way, I’ll be off. See you both next weekend.”

 

Hugging her brother and regarding Khushi, Anjali turned to leave. Once she was in the elevator and the doors shut behind her, Khushi turned to Arnav.

 

“You’re taking me to meet your family?”

“Di wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.”

“But we don’t even know what’s happening between us.”

“I know. But Di’s seen you and I’m 100% sure she’s going to go home and tell everyone else about you.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi didn’t know what to say or how to feel. She didn’t really like the idea of meeting the rest of Arnav’s family. It seemed like a big step, one she wasn’t sure if she was ready for. But it seemed as though Arnav had made the decision for her and she had no other option. Is this what it would be to spend ones life with Arnav? Would he make all decisions for her and accept her to go along with it? What about what she wanted and what she thought about the whole matter?

Fifty Shades of Raizada ~ Part 11

Readers discretion advised. Very explicit content ahead.

 

For the rest of the evening, Khushi stayed in her room, trying to make sense of everything. She flicked through the contract once more, but it was clear. This world of Arnav’s wasn’t for her and she was prepared to leave it and him behind.

Getting out of bad, Khushi decided that she was ready to talk to Arnav and tell him she was out. This wasn’t going to work between them. She walked into the bathroom, had a quick shower and got dressed to go downstairs.

As Khushi made her way downstairs, she realised that the whole apartment was very quiet and also very dark. Carefully, she made her way down the stairs and saw that there was a light on in the kitchen. She followed the light and saw that Arnav was stood in the kitchen, surrounded by dishes of different food.

 

“Are you entertaining tonight?”

 

Arnav turned around to see Khushi looking around the kitchen.

 

“Khushi… Hi. No, I was preparing dinner for us so we could sit and talk.”

“You didn’t need to go to all this effort.”

“I know, but I didn’t like how thins went down between us earlier.”

 

Arnav carried the dishes over to the large dining table on the other side of the kitchen and pulled out a chair for Khushi, gesturing her to come over and sit down. Khushi nodded and made her way over and sat down at the table.

 

“Let me just get the rest of the food.”

 

Arnav went back to get the rest of the food. Khushi examined what he had already put down on the table and couldn’t help but smile a little bit. Did he go through all this effort to cook just for her, to make things right with her? Arnav came back, put all the dishes down and then sat down opposite Khushi.

 

“Please help yourself.”

“This all looks so… It looks amazing! I didn’t know you could cook.”

“One has to learn. I spend so much time alone, I needed to learn to cook. Take out is great, but its not ideal for all the time.”

 

Khushi helped herself to some of the pasta that Arnav had prepared. She took a small bite and her eyes lit up.

 

“This really is amazing.”

“I’m glad you approve. It’s one of the first things I learnt to cook. I lived off this pasta for years.”

 

Laughing, Khushi carried on eating her pasta and got some garlic bread to go alongside it. Arnav too got some food and ate a bit, but he spent most of his time watching Khushi.
They made small talk while enjoying the food, but both were very much aware of the elephant in the room.

Soon dinner was over and Arnav cleared the table and loaded up the dish washer. He came back over to the table and sat down opposite Khushi.

 

“We need to talk.”

“Yes we do.”

“Khushi… I realise that my way of life is a lot for you to take in and I guess you’ve made it clear it’s not something you want to be involved in. Although I want to argue and tell you that we should give it a shot and you should see how it goes, I will respect your decision. But, I can’t let you go.”

“Arnav… We can’t.”

“I know, I know what you said, about how you need commitment and marriage and I know I can’t give you that. But how about we make some kind of arrangement still. We try and make this work for as long as we can, but if you meet someone who is willing to commit to you and who will marry you, then I’ll let you go.”

“We can’t do that.”

“Khushi, I can’t let you go.”

“I don’t want you to, but at the same time we can’t do this. I can’t stay with you, not when I know you have no intention to marry me. If I knew that somewhere down the line we would get married, I would accept and I would stay with you, I would accept the sin, suffer the consequences of our action, but I would remain with you because I know you will make an honest woman of me. But knowing you have no intention, I can’t. I can’t live in sin, I can’t sleep with you and get close to you when I know, ultimately I belong to someone else. That I will have to one day leave you and spend the rest of my life with someone who isn’t you.”

 

This last lines, the one of belonging to someone, else got Arnav mad. He slammed his fist against the table and shoved his chair back and got to his feet. He pulled Khushi out of her chair and pinned her arms around her back.

 

“You belong to me. DON’T YOU DARE say you belong to someone else. You’re MINE.”

 

Khushi struggled against his hold, trying to put distance between them, but he held onto her, holding onto her tighter. He pressed himself into her and took her lips in an aggressive kiss. Khushi resisted to begin with but soon she too began to respond to his kiss with a similar level of fire. He might be mad at her for talking about such a thing, but she too was angry at him for putting her in this position. All she wanted was a simple relationship with love and romance, she didn’t want all this crazy stuff that he was proposing.

Once Arnav realised that she was reciprocating the kiss, he slowed it down. His kiss became less aggressive and he slowly let go of her hands and took hold of her hips, pressing his pelvis into hers. He rocked his hip into hers, imitating a much more intimate action and Khushi moved hers in time with his. His fingers slipped under her kameez and up the sides of her body, resting just below her breasts. Khushi’s hands fumbled with his buttons, taking one off, then the next.

Arnav broke the kiss, his fingers still playing havoc on her skin.

 

“I want you. God dammit Khushi, I need you.”

 

Khushi nodded, she knew in her head she should say no, but her heart was saying yes. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Khushi pulled Arnav back to herself and let her lips meet his. Arnav pulled Khushi’s kameez off of her and threw it aside and clipped off her bra. Hands back on her waist, he lifted her off the ground, never breaking their kiss and placed her down on the table. He made light work of his shirt and pants and let them fall away. Pushing Khushi back onto the table, Arnav pulled away her panties and positioned himself between her legs and pulled her forward. He guided his length into her and Khushi gasped out. Arnav used one hand to hold onto the side of the table, while the other caressed her breast.

It took him a moment to get this rhythm going, but in no time, they were going at it in full speed. Khushi’s moans filled the kitchen and Arnav groaned. Something about her, something about the feel of her around his length turned him on so much more than anything else. He carried on thrusting in her, and Khushi lay back, enjoying the sensations she was feeling.

 

“Ah, Arnav… Mmmm, I… Oh.”

 

He could feel her tightening, she was oh so close, she needed her release as much as he did. But he stopped and withdrew. Khushi’s eyes fluttered open and Arnav pulled her up.

 

“I want to do it from behind.”

“I…”

“Can we?”

“I don’t know…”

“I’ll go slow, I promise.”

 

Khushi was apprehensive about what he was asking of her, but nodded regardless. Arnav turned her around and pinned her face down against the table. He kicked her legs apart slightly and took a fistful of her hair as he slowly guided himself in.

 

“AH.”

“Oh fuck.”

 

He held himself still, realising her body needed to adjust around him. When he thought the time was right, he slowly began to move. Khushi clutched onto the edge of the table and her eyes rolled back. This was so much more intense than anything they had done together before.

 

He started moving faster, pulling on her hair. He smacked her butt.

 

“Look at me.”

 

Khushi turned, her eyes barely open, but she looked at him over her shoulder.

 

“Do you like this?”

“Mmmm.”

“It feels good when I pull your hair doesn’t it?

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

 

Arnav smirked, feeling content. He pushed her back onto the table, and sped things up. She was close and he needed his release too.

Moments passed and they both reached their climax, Khushi, slumped against the table and Arnav slumped against her. They remained like this for a moment before Arnav gathered Khushi into his arms and made his way upstairs to put her into her bed. He could feel sleep coming his way, so he hurried and put her down.

 

“Stay with me.”

 

Arnav looked at her, so peaceful, so spent, reaching out to him. He should have said no, and he should have walked away, but he didn’t. He came over and lay down next to her, and soon they both fell asleep.

 

*****

 

Author’s note:

Now this is a chapter I am very apprehensive about. I have changed it a number of times, where I have taken a certain section of the story out but then have put it in again. I’m not sure how everyone is going to take to the change in the dynamic, however, I would like to say that if you didn’t like, or don’t agree with my choice, then I am sorry. I would appreciate it if I don’t get bombarded with a number of angry comments.