Unwanted ~ Part 30

 

Arnav

 

Happy birthday to me! I’ve reached the grand old age of 33 and don’t have a lot to show for myself. I mean obviously I have my business empire, but other than that, not a lot. I don’t know where my wife is and my life hasn’t really progressed much in the last six years.

But for the first time in six years, I’m actually looking forward to my birthday. I get to spend the day around a group of young people who I have gotten very attached to. In order to celebrate, I have brought some chocolates to share with the kids.

It’s going to be a good day, I could tell.

 

*****

 

Just before the children went for their lunch, I decided to distribute the chocolates that I had brought with me.

 

“So it’s my birthday today and I have brought some chocolates for everyone!”

 

There was a slight yelp of joy as I started going round each desk, letting each child pick a chocolate. One by one I went through them all until I reached Arushi. Now unlike all the other kids, she hadn’t been anticipating my arrival with the treats. She was sat at her desk, drawing what looked like dresses.

 

“Here you go Arushi, choose one.”

“No thank you sir.”

“Why not? Don’t you like chocolate?”

“I do, but I’m not allowed to have normal chocolate. I can only eat special chocolate my mama buys me.”

“Why’s that?”

“I have sugar ki bimaari.”

“You’re diabetic?”

 

I could feel my eyes widen as I waited for a response from her. She nodded her little head just as the bell went off, signalling lunchtime.

I dismissed the children once I was sure that another member of staff was outside, ready to take them. I watched Arushi slowly put her things away.

 

“But you eat jalebis?”

“My mama makes me special ones, just for me.”

“I’m diabetic too.”

 

Getting to her feet, she rushed over to the door where her friend was waiting for her. Turning around, she gave me a little wave.

 

“I’ll tell my mama to make some special ones for you too sir.”

 

*****

 

All throughout lunchtime, I couldn’t stop thinking about Arushi and the little revelation that she had made. I should’ve known. As her teacher, I should’ve known that she was diabetic.

But that wasn’t all. There was something else about this matter that was troubling me and I didn’t know what it was and why.

I knew that children could get diabetes, but Arushi was so young? She’s only 5? It wasn’t fair that such a young child should have diabetes. They should be able to enjoy their life, eat as much sugar as they want without having to think anything of it. They shouldn’t have to turn down sweets and chocolates. It wasn’t fair.

 

*****

 

At the end of the day, I watched as all the children got picked up by their parents. Once all my kids were gone, I was ready to go back to my classroom when I saw Arushi still sat on the small wall, waiting.

I made my way over to the wall and sat down on it beside her.

 

“Your mama isn’t here yet?”

“Mama has work so she can’t get me any way. But Priya wasn’t here today so Naina aunty hasn’t come either.”

“So who are you waiting for?”

 

Arushi shrugged her shoulders as she swung her little feet.

 

“Have you always had diabetes Arushi?”

 

She nodded without looking up.

 

“Does your mum have diabetes?”

 

Shaking her head, she looked up at me.

 

“Mama said papa has diabetes. That’s why she knows how to make special jalebis. She used to make it for papa all the time.”

“Oh, I see.”

 

Turning around, she looked back towards the main gate. There were still quite a lot of children around.

 

“Do you want me to call home to make sure that someone is coming to take you?”

“It’s okay. Someone always comes.”

 

We sat in silence for a while.

 

“Do you have any plans of what to do when you go home?”

“No. Play with mama and then dinner and then bed maybe.”

“Do you get a lot of time to play with your mama?”

“Lots and lots of time.”

 

Her face lit up as we spoke about her mother and it was evident that they shared a close relationship. It must be hard for her mother, being a single parent…

 

“Are you going to do anything when you go home sir? On my birthday, mama takes me to the park!”

“When I go home, I’ll probably call my family and then plan next weeks lessons.”

“No cake?”

“I live on my own, so no cake.”

“Do you not have any family?”

 

If this were an adult asking, I would find them to be very rude and intrusive. But Arushi was just a child and she was curious.

 

“I do, but my family live in Delhi. So I can’t see them for my birthday.”

“Oh… Mama says she used to live in Delhi before, a long time ago. My papa too.”

 

So Arushi’s parents lived in Delhi? Could it be possible that I knew her parents? Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. I was being crazy. Delhi was huge and there were tonnes and tonnes of people. The chances of actually knowing her parents were slim to none.

 

“Did I tell you sir, it’s my dad’s birthday today too! Me and mama did pooja for papa’s birthday in the morning.”

“Really? That’s such a coincidence!”

 

So Arushi’s father had the same birthday as me. I wanted to ask if she had spoken to her father, or made him a card to wish him, but I still hadn’t established if Arushi’s parents were separated or if her father was no longer alive. If he wasn’t alive, I didn’t want to upset her by asking if she’d spoke to him.

Something about this child intrigued me and I wanted to know more about her and her family. But how was I to do that?

Looking over her shoulder once more, I saw Arushi’s face light up as she saw a man in the distance.

 

“Arushi!”

 

The man called out and Arushi jumped to her feet, grabbing her bag that was on the floor.

 

“I have to go now sir!”

“Is that someone to pick you up?”

 

She nodded her little head frantically as she ran round the wall and started making her way down the gates. I watched as she ran off. The man looked a similar age to me, maybe slightly shorter than me. I watched as he stopped where he was, a smile on his face as his eyes fixed on the little girl running towards him.

I kept watching, he knelt down slightly as Arushi approached and she threw her little arms around him, and he lifted her up.

Who was this man? I knew Arushi’s dad was out of the picture, but who was this? Whoever it was, it was evident that he and Arushi shared a close bond. They both looked delighted to be together as they made their way down the path and out the school gates.
I had never thought that Arushi may have any other family other than her mother. This man could be her uncle.

Shaking my head, I got off the wall and made my way back tinny classroom. I was getting far too invested…

 

*****

 

When I finally got home that evening, the first thing I did was check my phone for all my messages. There was a whole stack from friends and employees wishing me a happy birthday. And then of course there was a whole lot of messages from my family.

 

Turning FaceTime on, I gave Di a call. She answered on the second ring.

 

“Hi Di.”

“Happy birthday Chote!”

“Thanks Di. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright, you?”

“I’ve been good too. Just keeping myself busy.”

“When are you coming back Chote? We’re all really missing you.”

“I’m missing you guys too. I should be able to start thinking about coming back soon. Veer has been interviewing potential candidates like crazy. But it’s midterm now. So anyone he hires, they won’t be able to start until the new term begins.”

“That’s fine, there’s only a few weeks left.”

 

There was a pause as me and Di just took each other in. They hadn’t been apart for this long in a very long time and Arnav could tell it was unsettling Anjali.

 

“Di, I promise, I’ll be back soon. Or why don’t you come and visit me for a few days?”

“I’d love to. But Shalini has school and I can’t just leave her and come.”

“I understand Di.”

 

Me and Di made small talk. We spoke for a while. For the first time in a long time, me and Di were able to have a long conversation without arguing.

Once we were done, she passed the phone over to Akash and then to Nani and then back to Di.

 

“I was going to pass the phone to Nimisha, but she’s gone out with Pari. Maybe you can call them later, or they’ll call you?”

 

I nodded. I didn’t want to argue with Di by saying that I wasn’t going to call them. Wishing me a happy birthday once more, Di ended the call and I put my phone aside.

My time here really was almost up. There was only about another 2 weeks of the term and then the kids would go on holiday. And when they came back, they would have a new teacher.

As much as I was glad to be almost done, it was also hard. I’d really started enjoying teaching and I’d really grown fond of the kids around me. They’d become a part of my life and I loved seeing how far they’d come in terms of their education since I first starts with them.

When I’d arrived they were learning the letters H, I and J. Now, most of them knew the entire alphabet! We’d come a long way and my journey with them was almost at its ends.
As much as I had achieved a lot, I also didn’t achieve a lot. I had no new information regarding Khushi, no new leads. Nothing. Mumbai was cold. There was no sign of Khushi here. But regardless of the that, my heart told me that I needed to be here, that I was close.

Feelings were telling me to stay, the facts were telling me to move along.

Laying back in my bed, I looked up at the ceiling. If only a sign would just fall from the sky. But of course, nothing came.

Sighing, I got comfortable in bed, letting myself rest. Shutting my eyes, I was ready to take a short nap.

 

Just as I was about to drift off, a thought hit me.

Nimisha and Pari hadn’t called me today.

Now of course, to some this wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but to me, this was something noteworthy.

When I’d first moved here, Nimisha called me constantly. Sometimes with the pretence that she was missing me, other times saying Pari needed to talk to me.

As time went on, she called less and less frequently. But what stood out about today was that it was my birthday. Nimisha would never miss my birthday. Looking at the clock, I realised it was almost 7. The entire day was almost done and Nimi hasn’t called me? In a bit, Pari would go to sleep and wouldn’t be able to speak to me?

That was strange. It seemed out of character. And Di had said they were out. Where could they be at this time of evening?

Call me paranoid but something wasn’t fitting for me. Something was going on. Otherwise Nimisha wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of making a song and dance about our relationship. Something wasn’t right. Something was going on. But I didn’t know how I felt about it. Do I feel happy that Nimisha has left me alone, or should I be suspicious as to what she’s up to?

All of a sudden, I felt torn all over again. Something wasn’t right. I knew.

Jalebi ~ Part 26

 

“I’m engaged Arnav.”

 

Looking at the ring on Khushi’s finger and then looking between her and Rohan, it took Arnav a few minutes to process it all.

 

“Wait what?”

“I should’ve told you as soon as I saw you…

“Yes, yes you should have! How could you leave like that and come back engaged? Did you not think about me for even a moment? Did you not remember the fact that I wanted to marry you? How did you forget about everything we’d been through? How could you?”

“How could I? How could I?!”

 

Khushi felt her patience slipping away from her, her anger rising. Rohan took hold of her arm, whispered how she needed to calm down. But she wasn’t having it.

 

“I could do this because you deceived me! You stole my business from me! And you have the audacity to ask me how dare I?”

“Khushi…”

“I gave myself to you after trying to stay away from you. It took me ages to open myself up to you and that’s how you repaid me…”

“I didn’t do anything! It was Akash!”

 

Khushi stopped for a moment. What did he say?

“Jijaji?”

“Yes. It was all his master plan. Right from the moment he called you back for the reunion he had this plan. I knew about it from the start but I never thought it was a good idea. But initially I went with him, but only to an extent. Then I started to work with you, got to know you, and I couldn’t do it, I told him I wanted out. And then things really started changing between us and I…”

“Why didn’t you say no from the start?”

“I didn’t think much of it, I didn’t think Akash was being serious. And then I realised he was and that’s when I said no.”

 

Raising her hand to head, Khushi tried to take in everything that she’d just learnt. How could Akash do that to her? How could he even think about doing something like that?

 

“But Payal…”

“He loves Payal truly…”

“How could he do that to me when he’s always been trying to get into bed with my cousin. Did he not think…”

“I don’t know Khushi. I don’t know his logic behind it all. But I need you to know it wasn’t me. I didn’t even know when he created the papers. I’d already made it clear to him long before that we needed to put a stop to the plan. And he agreed. I honestly thought he was going to back off…”

 

Rohan who had been standing beside Khushi patiently finally started to lose his cool. He’d had enough of this.

 

“Okay. Right, you’ve said you’re bit, you’ve done what you needed to do, but it doesn’t change what’s happened. Whether it was your plan or someone else’s, Khushi no longer has her business. I don’t think there’s much else to be said.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come between us.”

“I’m afraid I have to be between you. Khushi’s my fiancé and I need to make sure you’re not saying anything to trouble her.”

 

Arnav moved up to Rohan. Who the hell did he think he was? Khushi sensed the tension between the two men and moved between them.

 

“Look, I don’t need you two to start arguing. Arnav, I appreciate your attempts to sort things, but… There’s nothing that can be done. You can’t give me Khushiyan back… As for us… I can’t trust you Arnav, I’m sorry. I know it sounds harsh, given everything that you’ve told me, but I can’t… I’m sorry. I’ve moved on with me life, I’ve moved on with Rohan, and I want you to respect my decision.”

“So what? That’s it for us?”

“I told you before I left, it was over between us.”

 

Tears pricked in both Arnav and Khushi’s eyes. She blinked them away as Rohan wrapped an arm around her. Arnav took a step closer to Khushi.

 

“I love you… I can’t live without you.”

 

She looked at him, wanting to move closer to him and wipe his tears away. But she was aware of Rohan holding her close. In her heart she knew she still loved him but…

 

“I’m sorry Arnav… We spent some beautiful moments together and I guess they and you will always be special. But it was always meant to be me and Rohan. I guess I got confused along the way. I’m not confused now and Rohan has accepted my past with you…”

 

Rohan and Khushi both watched as Arnav’s body deflated, he looked completely defeated. It pulled at Khushi’s heart. She’d never seen him like this. He looked so broken, so lost. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry… But you will find someone for yourself, someone who will love you and care for you the way Rohan loves and cares for me.”

“I can’t be here…”

 

Holding back the tears that were threatening to fall, Arnav tried to hold himself together. He didn’t want to cry in front of her any more, and definitely not in front of Rohan.

 

“I’m sorry I came here.”

“Arnav…”

 

He brushed past both Khushi and Rohan and made his way over to the door. One hand on the door handle, he turned around and took one last look at Khushi.

 

“Goodbye Khushi.”

 

And with that, he was gone. Khushi wanted to go after Arnav, to stop him, to tell him she still cared for him and that she still wanted to be with him. But she knew she couldn’t do that.

Tears started falling, and Rohan pulled Khushi into a hug, holding her close to himself. Brushing him off, Khushi moved away from him and rushed into her bedroom, shutting the door behind herself. Throwing herself onto the bed, Khushi cried. Let it all out. This wasn’t fair. She had met someone she truly loved and who truly loved her too, but she couldn’t be with him. It wasn’t fair, this wasn’t how t was meant to be.

Khushi lay in bed, and she recalled all the moments she and Arnav had shared. She remembered all the kisses they had shared, the moment they had stolen during Payal and Akash’s wedding. She remembered their first night together, how gentle he’d been with her, how he kept making sure that she was okay, that this was still what she wanted.

Then she remembered their second night together. She remembered how she’d felt, being there below his body while he moved over her, kissing every inch of her body, touching her naked skin… She remembered how it had felt being so close to him, being one with him, having his body in hers…

Wiping her tears away, she forced herself to remember why they couldn’t be together, why she had made the decision to leave him. Yes it did change things, knowing that this was Akash’s plan and not Arnav’s. But Arnav should have said no from the start, he should have put his foot down because he knew it was wrong, morally, to do that to someone.

No, she couldn’t cry over not having Arnav any more. She wasn’t being fair on herself or Rohan. Rohan had accepted her, knowing everything about hers and Arnav’s relationship.

Wiping her tears away, Khushi sat up in bed and recalled everything that had happened when she arrived back in London.

 

*Flashback*

 

Arriving at Heathrow airport, Khushi pulled her sunglasses over her eyes to cover her puffy eyes. She had cried almost the entire flight, unable to understand how and why this was happening.

Once she collected her luggage and was ready to leave, she called for a taxi and went straight to her office.

The security team at the entrance of her office was the ones she was used to and they recognised her the moment they saw her and let her in.

Walking into the office, her assistant came rushing over to her.

 

“Ma’am! What are you doing here all of a sudden? But more importantly what’s happening with ownership? Apparently you have signed over all rights?”

“I need to talk to everyone from legal. Find out if they’re free and even if they aren’t arrange a meeting now.”

“Yes ma’am, but do you want to maybe freshen up first, you look exhausted.”

“Please just do as I’ve asked you to do.”

 

The assistant rushed off and Khushi made her way up to her office, greeting everyone politely as she passed them. Getting to her office, Khushi shut the door behind her before taking a look at herself in the mirror. She looked a wreck. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face dry and tired looking.

 

Sorting herself out a bit, she looked through the papers that Mohit had sent over to her, trying to find a loophole, something, anything that would help her get her business back. But she couldn’t find anything.

After waiting about half an hour, Khushi’s assistant reappeared, telling Khushi that he had managed to get a meeting sorted with the legal team and that it would take place in half an hours time.

Thanking him, Khushi dismissed him once more. Picking her phone up, she noticed that she had a tonne of missed calls and text messages from Arnav. She read the previews, but didn’t bother to open the messages. She didn’t have anything to say to him.

Sitting through the meeting with legal, it became clear very early on that nothing much could be done. They had gone through the papers in detail, trying to find anything that could help them, but it was clear that there wasn’t a lot that could be done.

When Khushi left the office, she felt completely deflated. She had hoped with all her heart that her legal time would be able to find something, anything. But it seemed as though if Arnav didn’t sign things over, she wouldn’t be able to get her business back.
Leaving the office, Khushi got another taxi to take her home. Getting to her house, she couldn’t help but feel broke. She hadn’t been home alone for years and now to come back home to an empty house, when she really needed her family was not ideal.

Once Khushi was home and she’d had some time to freshen up, she called the only person she could think of at that point. Rohan.

As soon as Khushi put the phone down from Rohan, he arrived. He came with food and some flowers. The moment he walked in through the door, Khushi embraced him.

 

“Khushi? What’s going on?”

 

Explaining everything that had happened, Khushi couldn’t contain her tears. She told Rohan everything, telling him everything that had happened from the start to the end.

 

“Wait, so you were in a relationship with him? Were you together when I met you guys at the conference?”

“No we got together right after.”

“I can’t believe he’d do that to you.”

“I’m sorry Rohan. I know… Us… We always said we’d get married. And I went and…”

“Sh, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with exploring your options. But I think it’s clear now that our Jodi was predetermined for a reason. We were meant to be Khushi. I know you’ve just got out of a serious relationship, but I want you to know, I still want to marry you… Maybe one day when you’re ready…”

“I can’t even think about that right now Rohan. It’s too soon.”

“I know, I know.”

 

Rohan dropped the topic of their marriage and Khushi too attempted to cheer herself up so she wouldn’t have to discuss the matter any further. It was too soon to even think about spending her life with someone else. Up until yesterday, she had felt her future with Arnav was set and now to have that taken away… It was too much at one time.

 

*****

 

Time flew by faster than Khushi realised. She’d been back in the U.K. for over 2 weeks and her parents were back too. She had received a number of calls and messages from the Raizada’s. She knew that she should probably call them back and talk to them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Rohan had been a dream and had paid Khushi a number of visits to make sure that she was settling back okay.

It was one afternoon when she was scrolling through the news app when she saw the news about the management of AR and Khushiyan was changing. Tapping on the headline, Khushi opened up the full article and read that both business which had previously been under Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, was now being passed over to Mr Akash Singh Raizada. No formal statement about the change had yet been made.

When Khushi read this, she felt like the ground beneath her had been pulled away. She couldn’t understand why Arnav would do that. Why would he take her business from her, only to hand it, and his own business, over to his brother?

It didn’t make any sense, none of it made any sense. Throwing her phone onto the bed, Khushi realised that enough was enough. She was done with Arnav. He’d deceived her and used her love for his own personal gains and his own motives. She was done with him. It was then she made the most rash decision of her life…

 

*****

 

A couple of days later, Khushi and Rohan were engaged. It was a small affair, with just their parents and their immediate family present. They didn’t want anyone else.
Rohan had asked Khushi over and over again if she was sure, if this is what she really wanted and she had assured him that it was.

 

“Why avoid the inevitable, let’s just get it done.”

 

Rohan had been confused but he didn’t want to question it. He wanted to be with Khushi and if she had finally decided it was time to make their relationship official, then he wasn’t going to question her. Rohan could tell that Khushi’s heart hadn’t been in the right place on their engagement day, and he had asked her over and over to make sure she was okay. She said she was.

Their engagement went on without a hitch, and it wasn’t until late that night when she was back in her own bedroom did she realise what she had really done. She’d given herself to someone else, promised someone else that she would be their wife… But in her heart, she knew she belonged with Arnav…

 

*Flashback end*

 

Looking at the diamond ring on her finger, Khushi realised that she couldn’t allow herself to bask in the past. She had made the decision to marry Rohan, and she knew it was a decision that her parents supported her on. She couldn’t back down or fall weak now. She owed it to herself, her parents and Rohan to make this work. Brushing away her tears, Khushi decided that enough really was enough. It was time to move on. To close the Arnav related chapter of her life and to proceed with her new journey with Rohan.

It was time for a new beginning.

Unwanted ~ Part 29

 

Khushi

 

By the time I got home from work, Arushi was already home and she was already changed out of her school clothes. Taking my little girl into my arms, I held her close and told her I missed her lots and lots.

 

“I missed you too mama.”

“So tell me, what did my princess do in school today.”

“Nothing.”

 

I could tell something wasn’t right. Normally she’d come running to me and she wouldn’t stop talking about her day. She’d tell me every little detail and if she missed something, it would mean needing to go through the whole story all over again.

 

“Arushi, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Beta, you know you can’t hide anything from me.”

 

I watched as her expressions changed, it was evident she was trying to figure out what to do.

 

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow and I don’t want to do the Father’s Day event.”

 

This came as a shock to me. Ever since Arushi had started school, she had never wanted to not go to school. Even when she was ill, it was a struggle to keep her home. So now for her to tell me she didn’t want to go, I knew something was wrong.

 

“Did something happen?”

 

She shook her head but I knew my daughter well enough to know she was lying. Taking her into my arms, I pulled her to myself and sat down on the floor with her on my lap.

 

“Tell me Ari, what happened?”

 

Looking up at me, I saw the little tears in the corner of her eyes. I watched as she tried to make them go away, but they didn’t and ended falling onto her little cheeks.

 

“The people in my class said I can’t do the Father’s Day presentation because I don’t have a real dad.”

 

I gasped and I held my baby close to myself. When did kids become so cruel? How could such young children be so mean to each other?

 

“Did you tell your teacher?”

“I did. He made them sit near the wall.”

“The naughty wall?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Baby, you have a dad. Raj is going to do to the presentation with you.”

“But he isn’t my real papa. Mama why can’t you call papa and tell him to come? I want my papa!”

“Arushi, you know your dad live far away and he’s very busy…”

“But can’t he come for one day? It’s not fair! I’ve never even seen my papa! Doesn’t he love me?”

 

I shook my head, holding her tighter.

 

“Of course he loves you baby! You’re our baby. But he just can’t…”

“He can’t come to see me.”

 

Arushi’s face fell and hen she wiggled out of my arms.

 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to play in my room.”

 

She walked away and I watched her go. What was I doing? For the first time ever, Arushi was questioning her fathers love for her. How could I do that to her? How could I keep lying to her like this? She thought Arnav didn’t love her, hence why he never came. How could I tell her that he doesn’t even know she exists? How do I tell my daughter that everything I’ve told her about why her dad isn’t with us is a lie?

 

“You’re realising how much of a mess you’ve made, aren’t you?”

 

Turning, I saw Raj stood in the doorway. When had he arrived. Stepping into the room, he looked over his shoulder before shutting the door behind himself.

 

“Ma is with Arushi.”

“Did you need something Raj?”

“No not really, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Arushi. Khushi, what are you doing to that poor little girl?

“What am I doing to her?”

“You’re torturing her! She’s only a five year old! She’s never met her real father, never even spoken to him…”

“You know why that is!”

“I do! And you know that I didn’t approve of your decision at the time and I still don’t. You left Arnav because you didn’t want to deprive his child of its fathers love, but look at what you’re doing to Arushi.”

“What am I doing to her?”

“You’re making her question whether her dad loves her or not! And I can’t blame her. The poor child has never seen it spoken to her dad. She doesn’t even know what he looks like or what his name is! He’s just a story to her.”

“She has you. So she’s feeling a bit down today, but come tomorrow, she’ll be completely over all this and she’ll be ready to rehearse for the Father’s Day event with you again.”

“Yes she has me, and I love her like my own, but at the end of the day she isn’t mine and she knows that. She knows her dad is out there somewhere and it’s understandable that she’s curious and wants to know more about him.”

 

I hated having this conversation. Why didn’t they just accept that I couldn’t let Arushi meet Arnav or let her speak to him. Why didn’t they understand that I couldn’t just torpedo into his life and drop Arushi on him?

 

“Khushi, listen to me. Arushi is still little. As she gets older she’s only going to have more and more questions. And as she gets older, your excuse he lives to far and is too busy isn’t going to bode well. Please Khushi, try and put this all aside.”

“I don’t understand what you expect me to do! I’ve said it time and time again, I can’t tell Arnav anything! Why don’t you understand?”

“Are you really that selfish Khushi? You’re thinking about the inconvenience it’ll cause you to tell Arnav the truth and you’re thinking about his happiness, but you’re completely overlooking Arushi’s feelings.”

“What inconvenience will it cause me? How dare you call me selfish? I’m thinking about everyone accept myself when I try to make decisions regarding this!”

 

My temper was rising fast. Raj was always so kind and supportive but today? Why was he speaking to me like this!

 

“You’re worried about all the questions you’ll have to answer if you go to Arnav now and tell him about his daughter. You know it’s going to put you in a tricky spot and you want to avoid that.”

“No, that’s not my reasoning at all! I’m thinking solely about Arnav and Arushi. Have you even for a moment thought about either of them? You’re only looking at the situation from one side, I’m looking at it from both. Do you think I enjoy being away from my husband, away from the love of my life? Do you think it’s easy for me to live my life? Do you think I enjoy seeing my fatherless daughter pine for her dad? No I don’t Raj! It kills me every time. But have you thought what would happen if I introduce Arushi to Arnav and he refuses to acknowledge her? What if I take her to him, but he doesn’t want anything to do with either of us?”

“Then Arushi will know her dad is scum and maybe it will be easier for you all to move on.”

“But yes, there is a slight selfishness to my decision too. What if I take Arushi to Arnav and he wants to keep her? What if he’s happy with Nimisha and his other child and he decides that he wants full custody for Arushi? What if he’s content with his life but having Arushi would make it better? He’s far more financially stable than I am. He would win a custody battle. I could lose my daughter. Have you thought of that?”

 

It was obvious from Raj’s expression that he hadn’t thought of that. That he hadn’t for a moment considered that taking Arushi to Arnav could mean us all losing her. But he knew as much as I did that this could be something that could happen.

We had all seen the pictures and the articles of Arnav and Nimisha on their wedding and at high profile events over the years. It seemed as though they were happy together. If I took Arushi to Arnav, he may decide he wants to keep our baby, but he doesn’t need me. He may throw me out of their lives and keep Arushi. And I couldn’t let that happen. Arushi was my reason to live, the reason I got up in the morning, the reason why I kept living this life. If I lost her…

 

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Well I had. Do you see why Raj it’s so hard to decide what to do?”

“I do but…”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do in the future, but for now I want to leave things as they are.”

 

It was obvious Raj wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He just nodded, acknowledging what I had said. He looked down at his feet and the turned his attention back to me.

 

“So you still love him?”

 

This question threw me off slightly. I wasn’t expecting Raj to ask me something like that.
Sighing, I sat down on my bed and took the photo of Arnav out of my bedside drawer and looked at it. It was one of my favourite pictures of Arnav. It was one that I had taken of him on our honeymoon. It was one of the first pictures I took of him after we slept together for the first time.

 

“I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a moment.”

 

Coming over to the bed, Raj sat down beside me.

 

“It’s been six years Khushi…”

“I know but I can’t just stop…”

“Let me finish what I was trying to say. I was saying, it’s been six years and you still love him as much as ever. Maybe you should try reaching out to him. If in over six years you haven’t been able to stop loving him, I don’t think you will ever be able to. For yourself and Arushi, maybe you need to reach out to him.”

 

Raj was right. It had been six years and not a moment went by when I didn’t think about Arnav. When I lay in my bed cold bed alone, I thought of Arnav. When I woke up, I thought about Arnav. When I looked at our daughter, I thought of him. He was always on my mind, always in my thoughts. To someone, it may seem insane. We were only together for six months and yet six years later I haven’t been able to get over him. But that’s just how it was. Those six months with him were the best six months of my life and I cherish every single moment from that time.

 

“I was happy with him. Our lives were going great, everything was perfect. It’s hard not to still love him when he never did anything to make me feel anything less for him. We never argued, he always took care of all my little needs and he was always there for me. How can I not still love him?”

 

I looked to Raj, awaiting his response. I could see that he saw things the way I saw them, that he understood what I meant.

 

“I understand.”

“In my heart, I hope that maybe one day I can reach out to him again. But as time goes on, I feel like it’s becoming harder and harder to reach out to him. He’s probably settled into his life now, he’s probably happy with Nimisha and their child. They may even have another child by now. I can’t enter his life again now. I could make a mess for him.”

“But what if he too has been struggling to move on, just as you have?”

“He got married to Nimisha. He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t ready to move on.”

 

Raj went silent once more. He knew I had a point.

 

“If he’s moved on, don’t you think maybe you should try too?”

“Maybe one day. But right now, I have Arushi and I want to be the best mother to her. I don’t want to divert my attention.”

“So what, you’re not ruling out the chances of getting married again?”

“I don’t know Raj. I honestly haven’t thought about it. I don’t want to get married again. Heck, I’m still married to Arnav. I can’t even think about getting married again. But maybe one day I will think about it seriously. But as of now, I’m fine as I am.”

 

He remained seated beside me for a while. He didn’t say anything, nor did he move. He turned to me, wanting to say something, but he must have thought against it because he turned away once more and slowly got to his feet.

 

“As long as your happy and you know what you’re doing, I can’t really say anything more.”

“I appreciate you’re concern for me and Arushi, but I think we’ll be okay.”

 

Nodding, Raj made his way over to the door and slowly opened it. He turned back to me, but then shook his head and turned away once more and left.

I did understand Raj’s concern, I really did. He cared for me and Arushi and so he wanted the best for the both of us. But at the end of the day, how I decided to go about this was my business.

I turned my attention back to my photograph of Arnav. I missed him, so, so much. Every single day, all the time. No matter what happened and how much changed, he would always be my other half, my better half. He completed me, made me whole. And even if he did have someone else and his own life now, for me, he would always be my other half. The man who completed me.

Whenever Raj and Veera asked me about getting married again, I always made it sound like it would be something that I would consider one day, but the truth was I don’t see myself ever thinking about getting married again. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Arnav or ever stop wanting to be with him. I could marry someone else, but at the end of the day, my heart belonged to Arnav, so it seemed pointless even considering marriage.

Yes, making Arushi understand would only get harder as she got older, but once she got to a certain age, I would tell her the truth. Why I left her dad and why he isn’t with us. Maybe one day she’d understand, but for now, what she knew was enough.

In my heart, there was still hope. Maybe one day things would get better and me, Arnav and Arushi could be a proper family. But until then, hope is all we have. I would carry on praying for him and for us and maybe Devi Maiyya would make things easier for us all. I had faith and I had hope. Maybe one day…

 

Just maybe.

Jalebi ~ Part 25

It had been weeks since anyone had last heard from Khushi. Arnav had given her time and space and had hoped that by this point she would have cooled down a little and would’ve spoken to him, but she hadn’t.

After handing over all business responsibility to Akash, Arnav found for the first time in a long time, he had time for himself. Legally, nothing had been signed over yet, but it was well known now that there had been a change in ownership and that Arnav was no longer in charge.

Arnav received a lot of phone calls, people he had previously worked with asking why he made such an abrupt decision. Many told him that he had made the wrong decision, but Arnav just stated that he had his reasons and for now, he was taking a step back.

To begin with, Akash had been more than happy to be the new owner of two successful fashion houses. He finally felt as though he got everything he deserved. He’d got his revenge on Khushi for rejecting him, and he’d punished Arnav for always having one up on him. Now he felt content with life. He also found that he was actually happy with Payal, glad that he had picked Payal in the end. She was understanding and supportive, he kind of woman one needed beside themselves when trying to be successful.

However, as time went on, Akash found that he was beginning to struggle to keep up. There were always so many files to check, so many meetings to attend, he barely had time for himself. He and Payal had been unable to go on honeymoon, and by the time he got home in the evening, he had no time for Payal because he was so tired.

He’d hoped that once he got into a routine with things and once he started getting on top of things, then it would be okay, but as time went on, he fell more and more behind. At one point he wanted to ask Arnav to step in and help, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Arnav to think he was incapable. No, he was going to make this work, no matter what happened.

 

*****

 

As Arnav walked into the kitchen, he saw Payal was pouring some juice. They were alone in the kitchen and Arnav took this opportunity to speak to her.

 

“Payal, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Of course.”

“Payal… Have you heard from Khushi recently?”

“No I’m sorry, I haven’t. I’ve called her and left her messages, but she hasn’t been responding to anything.”

“Have you maybe spoken to her parents?”

“I spoke to Maasi the other day, but it seemed as though they had people at their house, there was so much noise. She said she’d call back but she never did. And every time that I’ve called since, no one has picked up.”

 

Running his hand through his hair, Arnav realised that maybe it was time to just go back to England. Maybe that was the best way to find her and speak to her.

 

“I’m going to try and get a flight out by the end of this week. It’s been over a month. I can’t wait any longer, I need to sort things with Khushi.”

“But bhai… Khushiyan.”

“I don’t know Payal, I’ve tried everything but you know I can’t get that sorted. I just need to make Khushi believe that I love her.”

“I’m sure she knows that but I don’t think that’s the issue here.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to work this out Payal, but I need to be near her. Not hearing from her is driving me insane.”

 

Nodding, Payal showed that she understood, because she did. Arnav didn’t tell her the truth about Akash because he didn’t want to cause any issues between them. He had been tempted, to be spiteful and to get back at Akash, but then he realised, he couldn’t do that because it would make him as bad as him.

Arnav headed back to his bedroom at pulled his phone out to call Aman.

 

“Hi Aman, find me a flight out to London… Any time before the end of the week… Okay, thank you.”

 

Ending the call Arnav realised that he was making the right decision. It had been well over a month. He couldn’t leave it any longer, he needed to work things out with Khushi.

 

*****

 

It was Thursday afternoon, Arnav was due to fly out the next morning. He had called both Khushi and her parents, tried to get an address, but no one answered. He had asked Payal for their details, which she provided, but even she wasn’t sure if Khushi would be living with her parents or not. Arnav wasn’t sure what to expect when he got back to England, but he knew he wouldn’t come back without Khushi by his side.

Walking out of one of the shops in the mall, Arnav bumped straight into a woman, making her drop the bags that was carrying.

 

“I’m so sor…”

 

Actually taking a look at the woman, Arnav realised that it was Khushi!

 

“Khushi? When did you…”

 

Gathering her things together, Khushi sorted herself out and turned away. Arnav took hold of her hand, pulling her back to himself.

 

“Arnav please…”

“Don’t make a scene Khushi. Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

“I’m not the one making a scene.”

“Khushi come on.”

 

Debating whether or not she should go with him, Khushi decided she may as well. If she didn’t speak to him, he would just keep trying and she needed to set him straight.
Arnav led Khushi out of the mall and towards his car. He moved over to open the door for her, but Khushi brushed his hand away and opened the door herself and got in. The moment she sat inside, all she could think about was that one time they had got intimate in the backseat. The first time they had given into their desires. If she could turn back time, Khushi knew she would take that day back. That’s when she really started developing feelings for him. If she hadn’t given into him that day, hadn’t lost control, then now, she would still have her business.

Getting settled Arnav got the car going, making their way out of the car park.

 

“Where should we go?”

“We can go and talk at my apartment?”

“Where are you staying?”

“I’m staying at the apartment I had bought before moving here.”

“Oh it’s done?”

“Yes, the work was complete last week, that’s why I came back.”

“When did you come back? Why didn’t you call me?”

 

Turning to face him, Khushi raised her eyebrow.

 

“Why would I call you? Why would I speak to you? Actually, what am I doing here right now?”

“Khushi please…”

“I got back 3 days ago. And honestly Arnav, I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about.”

 

Arnav said nothing. He didn’t want to start talking about anything in the car.
They drove in silence, Arnav keeping his focus on the road. Khushi sat beside him, her hands fidgeting constantly. When she was sure that Arnav wasn’t paying any attention to her, she turned to look at him. It seemed as though he’d lost some weight in the last month. His face looked a lot less full than the last time she saw him, and under his eyes he had dark circles. But other than that, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever seen in her life. Shaking the thought away, Khushi turned away. She couldn’t be thinking about Arnav that was any more.

The drive to Khushi’s apartment wasn’t a long one, but for Arnav, it felt endless. He felt as though they had been driving forever. As soon as he got the car parked, Khushi was out of the car, leading the way. Arnav followed her, watching her hips sway slightly, her butt swaying ever so slightly as she walked. How he wanted to grab hold of her hips and pull her back against himself. But he stopped himself from acting in such a manner. There would be plenty of time for all of that once they got everything sorted.

Getting into the lift, Khushi pushed the button for her floor and they began making their way up. Her apartment was only on the third floor, so before they knew it, they had already arrived.

Getting out of the lift, Khushi made her way over to her door and unlocked it. She stepped inside and held the door as Arnav followed her in.

 

“It’s quite a nice little place.”

“Thanks, take a seat. Let me just go and put this stuff in my room.”

 

Nodding, Arnav sat down at the sofa, taking in his surroundings while he waited for Khushi to reemerge from her bedroom. Would they be able to sort things out today? Would they be able to clear up their misunderstandings? He wondered if she’d let him make love to her, to let him show her how much she actually met to him.

Moments later, Khushi came out of her room and went into the kitchen area and put the kettle on. Arnav waited patiently as he listened to her pottering around. Maybe she was just nervous and was killing some time, he didn’t want to rush her.

A little bit of time passed and Khushi came out of the kitchen with tea, coffee and some snacks.

 

“Please help yourself.”

“I’m not hungry Khushi, I just want to talk to you.”

“Honestly Arnav, I really don’t think there is anything to talk about. Whatever happened, has happened. I saw on the news about how you handed everything over to Akash. I would ask you about that, but honestly, I am exhausted with all this. I want my business back, but more than anything I just want peace. I spoke to my team in England about what can be done. They looked at everything closely and told me that nothing much can be done. I can file a lawsuit against you, but it would be lengthy and intense and at the end of it I may not even get anything out of it considering I actually signed those papers. Moreover, if I took this to court, it could cause our relationship to come to light and I just…”

“You just what?”

“I know you were probably using me. That you probably got close to me so you could make me trust you. But what we shared… It was special to me even if it wasn’t for you. So I want to keep it between us. I don’t want some lawyer or some judge telling me I was an idiot for getting into a relationship with you. For being foolish and sleeping with you. I don’t need anyone to tell me that if I had hold of my feelings, then I would still have my business.”

 

She looked away and Arnav could tell thoughts of everything that they had shared was troubling her. Sliding off the sofa, Arnav moved towards Khushi before dropping onto his knees before her. Taking her hands into his own, he rested his head in her lap.

 

“Khushi, I need you. I’m incomplete without you. Khushi I love you!”

 

They remained in this position for a long time, Khushi running her fingers through Arnav’s hair, tears streaming down her face into his hair. Why was this happening? Why had their lives become so difficult?

Tears ran down Arnav’s cheeks and onto Khushi’s lap. He’d never let himself become this weak in front of anyone before, but he couldn’t hold his tears back. He needed to get Khushi back, he needed her.

Playing all their intimate moments back, Khushi remembered the intensity of their relationship, the feelings she’d felt for him, how she had felt when she was with him.

Coming to her senses first, Khushi wiped her tears away and started pulling Arnav away from herself.

 

“Sh, stop crying Arnav, please.”

“You need to trust me Khushi, I didn’t do anything to deceive you…”

“Whatever has happened, has happened. We can’t do anything to change what has happened.”

“Forgive me… Take me back.”

“I can’t Arnav.”

“Khushi I love you… I can’t live without you. The last month… You don’t know how it’s been. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything, I’ve been waiting for my phone to ring and for it to be you. I’ve been dying to hear your voice…”

“We have to move on.”

 

He pulled back, his eyes filled with tears.

 

“Does that mean you’ll take me back?”

 

He moved towards her again, hugging her tightly before placing kisses on her face.

 

“Arnav…”

“I love you so much.”

 

Khushi felt his hands move along her body, rushing from her hips up to her breasts all the while kissing every inch of her face.

Coming to her senses, Khushi pushed at Arnav, moving him away from herself before getting to her feet.

 

“Stop Arnav! Listen to me!”

 

He looked up at her, the smile that had started creeping onto his face, fell away. He got up, tried to reach out for her, but she took a step back, maintaining a distance between them.

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Just because I said that we need to move on doesn’t mean I want you back. I don’t trust you Arnav! As much as I want to believe you, I can’t.”

“What did you mean by moving in then?”

“I meant we’re over and we both need to accept that and move on with our lives. Start afresh.”

“Did our relationship mean nothing to you? Is it that easy for you to walk away? To forget about everything that was between us. That still is between us.”

“I’m trying to forget, please just let me.”

 

Arnav walked right up to Khushi, closing any distance between them.

 

“Are you telling me that if I’m this close to you, you don’t feel anything?”

“Arnav…”

 

He placed his hand on her cheek and Khushi’s eyes fluttered shut.

 

“Are you trying to tell me that when I’m this close and touching you like this, you don’t want me to kiss you?”

 

Her eyes remained shut, almost as though she didn’t hear what he had to say. Arnav moved in, closing his eyes, their lips a nail widths apart when the door opened behind them. Khushi came to her senses first and pushed Arnav away and moved away from him.

 

“Babe you home?”

“I… I’m here.”

 

Arnav’s eyes snapped open. Babe?

Someone called Khushi babe? Turning on the spot Arnav came face to face with Rohan.

 

“What is he doing here?”

“I could ask you the same Raizada. What are you doing here?”

 

Sensing the tension brewing between the two men, Khushi rushed between them, her back to Rohan, facing Arnav.

 

“Arnav… I should’ve told you as soon as I saw you…”

“Why is he here?”

“Listen. Arnav… I…”

 

She looked down before turning to Rohan who simply placed his arm around her waist, holding her close to himself. Taking a deep breath, Khushi looked up at Arnav again before holding her left hand out.

How had he missed it? How did he not notice…

 

“I’m engaged Arnav.”

Unwanted ~ Part 28

 

Arnav

 

I’d been working at the school for over a week now, and truth be told, I was really enjoying it! Really, really enjoying it.

I now understood why people wanted to work with kids. Every time one of the children learnt a new letter, it felt really good. Knowing that I had been able to teach them something which they would remember and use for the rest of their lives.

I wasn’t the best teachers out there, but I really felt like I was doing a good job. Who would have though, Arnav Singh Raizada, a class teacher of five year olds. But here I was and I didn’t plan on leaving any time soon.

When I first told Di what I was doing, she had a fit and demanded I come home right away. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave the kids hanging, not after they had been left by their previous teacher. And beside the kids, I felt like there was something holding me back. Something that was keeping me from going back to Delhi. My time here wasn’t done yet, I could feel it in my bones.

Di however thought this was all a load of rubbish and demanded that I come home. She said something about how Nimisha needed me at home. And then she started talking about how it was wrong, me being a teacher.

 

“How can you be a teacher to five year olds though Chote?”

“Why can’t I?”

“You have a daughter, who craves your love and attention. You have no time for her, but you can go and spend time educating other people’s kids. Do you know how insane that is?”

“Di, you always tell me I should embrace change and learn to find happiness in new things. I’ve done that! For the first time in years, I actually want to get out of bed every morning. These kids… They’ve lit up my dull, monochrome world and they’ve filled it with glorious technicolor. You should be happy for me!”

 

I remember how there was a pause after I said that. I heard Di sigh and then she told me that she was happy that I found happiness, but she’d be happier if I’d come home and spent time with my “wife and daughter.”

After all these years, I still couldn’t believe that Di didn’t realise that Pari wasn’t mine. Everyone in the household has started realising and considering that maybe I did know what I was talking about. That perhaps I was right. But Di… Maybe she just wanted to be oblivious to it all. And then there was Payal. She too couldn’t accept that Pari wasn’t mine. Between Payal and Di, I honestly felt like I was suffocating half the time.

Over the years, even Nimisha had stopped fighting for me to accept Pari. I mean she still did it, but not as much as she had done at the start. She’d stopped trying to convince me that Pari was mine. I think she finally realised that she wasn’t going to be able to fool me into believing that Pari was mine when we both knew she wasn’t.

I’d never really thought about having kids, but I always knew, if ever I did have a child, I would have a connection with them. I’d be able to feel it within me that they were mine. But with Pari, I felt nothing like that. Not even slightly. Pari was a great kid, and as I’ve said before, I do feel bad when I don’t acknowledge her the way she wants me to. But I can’t. I know I’m not her father, no matter what any DNA test reported.

I can’t give her the kind of love she wants and deserves. Maybe one day Nimisha would stop messing with the poor little girl and actually let her meet her father…

 

*****

 

As time went on and I spent more and more time with the kids in class, I began to grow more and more attached to them. I got to know them personally and learnt about their personalities. Even though they were only 5, most of them had already developed very individual personalities and it really showed through their art work that they did in class.

I enjoyed getting to know the kids. Getting to know their likes and dislikes, what annoyed them and what kind of things they enjoyed. It was an enjoyable process.

There was one child that made me struggle a bit though, and that child was little Arushi. There was something about this little girl that felt eerily familiar, like I’m supposed to know her. But none of my friends that live in Mumbai have a child her age, so it couldn’t be that. Nor do we have any relatives here. But regardless of all of that, there was something about this child that made me feel like I really, really should know who she is.

After observing the child for quite a long while, I finally put my finger on why she seemed so familiar. She looked like Khushi…

 

*****

 

The moment I got home that evening, I called Payal. For the rest of the day, I kept looking at Arushi and the more I looked at her, the more striking the resemblance between her and Khushi seemed. As I waited for Payal to answer the phone, I sat down on my bed and looked at the photograph of Khushi on the bedside table. Khushi’s eyes and Arushi’s eyes were almost identical. Of course it could be a coincidence but it seemed highly unlikely.

 

“Hello?”

“Payal, it’s me. I need to ask you something urgently.”

“Is everything okay bhai? What’s the matter?”

“There’s this little girl in my class, ever since I met her there’s been something crazy familiar about her and now… She… She looks like Khushi. The absolutely same eyes.”

“Really? Exactly like Khushi’s?”

“Identical. I spent so much time staring into Khushi’s eyes, I don’t know how I didn’t make the link earlier but now… I can’t stop seeing the resemblance. Do you and Khushi have any relatives in Mumbai? Maybe cousins or…”

 

There was a pause on Payal’s end and I waited patiently.

 

“Well… My Amma and Khushi’s amma were sisters and they didn’t have any other siblings. So there’s no chance that we have any cousins on that side. But I know Khushi’s babuji has siblings. But where they are and how many kids they have, I don’t know. No ones close to that side of Khushi’s family, not even her. So maybe this little girl is a relative but I don’t know…”

“Do you think Khushi might be here? With relatives?”

“I don’t know bhai. Honestly, I doubt it. I can’t really imagine Khushi trying to reach out to the side of the family that turned their back to her. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that that little girl looks like Khushi, or maybe it is a relative. But I don’t think Khushi is with any family members. I think she’d be on her own. I can’t see her turning to people who cut her out of their lives.”

 

I thought about it for a moment and realised that Payal was probably right. Khushi had never spoken about any other family, had never showed any interest in connecting with them.

 

“You’re probably right. Maybe I am looking too far into a coincidence.”

“I’m not saying that to kill your hope but…”

“No I understand. Thanks Payal. Has she written any letters to you since I’ve been here?”

“She hasn’t, but it’s been a while since I last heard from her so I think there should be a letter coming soon. I’ll let you know what she says when the letter arrives.”

“Thanks Payal. Take care of yourself, I’ll speak to you soon.”

 

Disconnecting the call, I put my phone down. I probably was paying too much attention to Arushi. Just because she looked a bit like Khushi didn’t mean she was related to Khushi in any way. And even if she was, it didn’t mean that Khushi was here.

Getting to my feet, I moved into the kitchen to make myself dinner. Another evening, another meal. On my own.

 

*****

 

“Arushi doesn’t have a real papa! What kind of presentation are you going to give for the Father’s Day event?”

 

I walked over to the kids, and the moment I approached them, they all went quiet.

 

“What’s going on here?”

“Nothing sir…”

 

I looked down at the little group of kids and then looked to Arushi who had tears streaming down her face. Kneeling down before her, I asked her what the matter was.

 

“They said… They were saying… I can’t do the presentation… Because I don’t have a papa…”

 

My heart broke for the little girl in front of me. Tears kept falling and she struggled to tell me what she wanted to say. Turning my attention back to the other children, I told them to say sorry and then told them to go and sit by the wall for the rest of their break time.
Once they all walked away, I turned my attention back to Arushi.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

She nodded her little head as she wiped her tears.

 

“Can I go inside please?”

 

I looked around and saw that a few of the other teachers were outside, meaning that they could watch the rest of the kids. I nodded and let Arushi go inside and went in with her.

As soon as she got back into our classroom, she went over to her cubby and pulled out her lunchbox. Coming back to her table, she set her lunchbox down and opened it.

Taking out a smaller box, I watched as she opened it and took out the contents from within.

 

“Jalebis?”

 

Nodding, she turned her attention back to the jalebi and ate it. I watched as she ate the first jalebi and then another.

She reminded me of Khushi. Whenever Khushi was upset, she’d make jalebis and then eat them. When Nimisha entered our lives, Khushi was almost always in the kitchen, making and eating jalebis. It got to the point where she had a plate of jalebis by our bed at all times.

Turning my attention back to Arushi, I watched as she tidy her things away, washed her hands and then came back to sit at her desk.

 

“Feeling better now?”

“Lots.”

“Eating jalebis helps?”

“Helps lots. Mama says that there is no sadness that jalebis can’t fix.”

“Your mama is right. Jalebis can fix everything.”

“Not everything…”

 

The slight light that had been in her eyes were gone again.

 

“Didn’t you tell me your mama makes the best jalebis? Surely if they’re the best then they can fix anything.”

“They can’t bring me my papa. The others are right, sir, I can’t do the Father’s Day event. I don’t even have a real dad.”

“Arushi…”

“I don’t want to do it.”

“But you were so excited.”

“I don’t want to do it any more sir.”

 

And with that she got to her feet and went back outside to spend the rest of her break time in the playground.

I should have gone back outside too, but I decided to stay inside, to just think about what had happened.

 

Arushi wanted her dad, but it seemed as though he wasn’t in the picture. Maybe her parents were divorced? Or maybe her father passed away? There was no way to tell and there was no way to ask her without upsetting her.

But more than that, what was troubling me was how much she reminded me of Khushi. The way she ate her jalebis, the way she spoke about them.

Was I going insane? Was I making links where there were no links? Was I imagining these resemblances? What was happening to me?

Whatever it was, it reiterated something I already knew. I was still madly in love with Khushi and I needed her back in my life. I was starting to see her in a child who probably had no connection to her whatsoever. I needed to find her. I needed to get her back. If I don’t, I think I really will go insane.

Jalebi ~ Part 24

Somehow the night had passed for Arnav. He spent most of the night consulting with his legal team and in between, called Khushi whenever he got a free moment.

For the first part of the night, Khushi’s phone just rang for a long time before going to voicemail. During the second part of the night, her phone just went straight to voicemail.

 

According to the legal team, he could sign her business back over to her, however, he had to pass his decision past Akash first and make sure he also signed the papers. This was a new clause that Akash must have added, because Arnav had never had to ask Akash to sign anything off before. And considering how Akash had been acting, there was no way he was about to sign the papers for Arnav to hand his business back over to her. He’d have to find a way to sort this without bringing Akash in between.

 

Getting out of bed, Arnav reached out for his phone and saw that there were no messages or calls from Khushi. He attempted to call her once more, but again, her phone went straight to voicemail. He left her another text, asking her to please call him and that he loved her.

He decided to call the house, maybe she’d answer that phone. After only two rings, the phone was answered.

 

“Hello? Khushi?”

“Arnav? It’s me, her papa.”

“Oh, namaste uncle. How are you? Is Khushi there? Can I speak to her please?”

“Arnav…”

“Uncle please, please ask her to speak to me once.”

“She isn’t here.”

“Uncle if she’s refusing to come to the phone, please tell her…”

“No Arnav. She’s not here. She got the last flight out to England last night.”

“What?!”

 

Arnav felt his head spin. Khushi had left? She’d gone back to England? Without even saying anything?

 

“She explained in a rush what happened between you two. I can’t exactly say I tried to stop her.”

“Uncle, I know what it seems like, but you have to believe me, I didn’t do it! I wouldn’t! Sir, I love your daughter more than I love anything else in this world.”

“I understand all this, but at the same time, this has happened. Khushi has worked for so long to get to where she was and now to lose it all…”

“I’ll sort it, I’ll have it all signed back to her.”

“I’m hoping I wasn’t completely wrong about you and that you will give her back what’s hers, but I don’t know if she’ll ever trust you again Arnav. I know my daughter, I think it will take a lot for her to accept you again and for you to get your relationship back on track.”

“Uncle, I love her truly and deeply. Even if it means waiting a lifetime for her, I am willing to do it.”

“I don’t know Arnav… I really don’t know what to say to you.”

“When is she coming back from England?”

“I don’t know. But me and her mother are flying out by the end of this week as well. Anyway, I have to go, take care of yourself son and try and get all this fixed.”

 

Saying goodbye, Arnav disconnected the call. Khushi had gone back to England? This complicated things. How was he going to try and sort things out with her if she was all the way on the other side of the world? And it didn’t help that she wasn’t taking his calls or replying to his messages. He could go after her, but then it would be harder to deal with the business side of things. But he needed to explain the truth to her.

Arnav came to the conclusion that he would let her be for a couple of days and then he would try and contact her again. This way she would have some time to cool down.

 

*****

 

At the breakfast table, everyone was sat around, waiting for the new bride to emerge with breakfast.

 

“Good morning bhai.”

 

Arnav completely disregarded Akash as he took his seat. This didn’t go unnoticed by the members of the Raizada family. They all looked to one another, confused as to what had transpired between the two brothers. Ever since they had been children, their morning would begin with a fist bump or a pat on the others back as they walked past. Today for the first time ever, Arnav didn’t respond to Akash.

Nani raised her eyebrow and looked to Anjali who just nodded, trying to signify that she would explain all later. Payal emerged from the kitchen with the help of Hari Prakash and placed all the food on the table.

 

“Payal, before you serve the food, could you sit down please. I want to talk to everyone about something.”

 

Arnav gestured Payal to sit down.

 

“Chote what’s the matter?”

“Nani I…”

 

Taking a deep breath, Arnav got to his feet.

 

“I’m in love with someone. And I want to marry her.”

 

Manorama dropped her spoon and gasped.

 

“Arnav bitwa? Shaadi? We aren’t even finished with one marriage yet and you already want us to start planning the next one.”

“Haan mamiji. Nani, I’m in love with Khushi and she loves me too and I want to marry her.”

 

The elders all told Arnav that they had no objections, that they were happy that Arnav found someone he wanted to marry.

Anjali sat and watched.

 

“Chote, this is all good and well, but…”

 

Arnav nodded and turned his attention back to Nani.

 

“Something happened yesterday, and I’m trying to get it resolved as soon as possible but Khushi’s left me…”

 

Now Devyani was confused.

 

“I don’t understand Chote.”

 

Arnav explained what had happened, the fact that he was now the sole owner of both the businesses. He explained that he didn’t know how it happened and that he was going to get it sorted as soon as possible.

 

“But she’s left, she’s gone back to London and she won’t answer me calls, I don’t know what to do now.”

 

At this point Payal, who had remained quiet throughout the whole ordeal looked up.

 

“Wait? She’s gone back to London? When did this happen?”

“She took the last flight out last night.”

 

Payal stood there stunned, completely unable to understand what was going on. When had all this happened and when had Khushi left? And why hadn’t she said anything before leaving?

 

“Look, I just wanted everyone to know what the deal was, but I also want to reassure that I am going to get this all sorted and I am going to get Khushi back even if it’s the last thing I do. I love her and she means the world to me. I’m not going to let all this come between us and ruin what we have. I won’t stand for it.”

 

He aimed all this at Akash, making him know that no matter what happened, he wasn’t going to let this slide, that he wasn’t just going to let him win like this.

If Akash wanted to play dirty, then he was going to fight back. And he was going to win.

 

*****

 

A few weeks had passed and there was still no word from Khushi. Every call that was made to her went unanswered and every text message was unread.

Arnav had been checking with Payal if she knew anything but she didn’t. Khushi’s parents had gone back to England now and so Arnav couldn’t even speak to them to see what they had to say.

In terms of the business, Arnav had been working his hardest to get things sorted, but without Akash authorising anything, Arnav couldn’t do anything himself. It was starting to stress him out, and he was starting to feel like he couldn’t handle it all any more.

Sat in his office, Arnav was reading through some files when Akash walked in.

 

“Bhai, you have a meeting with Singhania’s. Have you got the file that they asked for?”

 

Arnav looked down at his desk and located the file that he was looking for. Opening it up, he realised that he hadn’t read over it and made the changes that were necessary.

 

“I haven’t had the changes done. But come on.”

 

Getting to his feet, Arnav slipped his jacket back on. But Akash stood there, annoyed.

 

“You had one job bhai! Where is your mind these days? You’re not getting anything done at all. Come on you need to focus.”

“Don’t tell me how to run my own damn business Akash.”

“No, I need to tell you. If you carry on at this rate, were not going to have a business, forget two. You’re responsible for two very successful business and at the moment they’re both starting to suffer due to your incompetence.”

 

This angered Arnav. How dare Akash walk in and tell him he was incompetent.

 

“I wonder why I’m so incompetent? Maybe it’s because you ruined my relationship with my girlfriend and I’ve been trying to sort it.”

“A woman should never be more important than your business.”

“Well she is Akash! And you ruined that for me.”

“You need to forget about her and you need to get your shit together.”

 

Anger bubbled though Arnav’s body. How dare Akash speak to him like that after everything he’d put him through.

 

“You know what Akash. You do it. I’m done.”

 

Grabbing his suit jacket and his laptop bag, Arnav made his way over to his office door.

 

“What do you mean you’re done?”

“I mean I’m going to speak to my lawyers and I’m signing everything over to you. I’m done with all of this. If you think you can do better than go for it. I’m done.”

 

Arnav walked over to the door and walked out of the office. He was speaking the truth and he was being serious. He really was done. All this wealth, all this name and respect, it was all great but what did it matter if he didn’t have the woman he loved in his life? Well he was done. Akash could have it all. He didn’t want any of this.

Akash watched as Arnav descended the stairs and made his way out of the office building. Once he was actually gone, Akash looked around. This office… It was now his? He walked round to the chair that was his brothers and touched the top before pulling it out. Sitting down, Akash felt all his happiness erupt out of him. This was all his! He owned it all!

Like a child, Akash spun in Arnav’s large chair before putting his feet up on the desk. Finally. Things as they should be.

 

*****

 

Staring out at the night sky, looking up at the stars, Arnav recalled his passionate night with Khushi at the farmhouse. The night they’d made love under the stars, with the rain coming down around them.

 

“How could you just leave Khushi? After everything we went through to get together?”

 

But Arnav wasn’t determined to get her back. Their story wasn’t over yet.

 

Unwanted ~ Interlude II

Raj

 

Stood by my window, I looked out at the world. I don’t know how I was feeling, but I wasn’t feeling great. Reading the news that Arnav was in town shook me up a bit. I mean I know I shouldn’t feel like that. At the end of the day, Arnav was Khushi’s husband and Arushi’s father. No matter how much I wanted to forget the truth, it’s always there. If Khushi left me to go back to Arnav, I couldn’t stop her.

I remember when I first met Khushi, it was literally a matter of coming home one evening and finding her sat there with mom. It was quite late, so I remember getting into the house half asleep and being told that she was our new paying guest. I had been so busy back then, I barely had any time to sit down and talk to her. It wasn’t until about a month after she moved in that I properly spoke to her. The moment I actually spoke to Khushi, I liked her. She was kind, funny and she seemed to care for mom which was something I appreciated.

Once I actually started paying attention to the fact that she was here, I started realising more about her. Like I noticed how when she smiled, her smile never actually reached her eyes. Her bedroom was next to mine, so at night, I’d hear her crying.
It was about 2 months after she’d been with us when she finally stopped crying every night.

 

And then she found out she was pregnant.

 

When she found out she was pregnant, she spent the entire first week in her room, crying. And I understand why. Over time, mom had told me more and more about why she’d left Arnav. So I understood why it was so hard for her to find out that she was pregnant. But regardless, she pulled herself together and she got her head down. She worked hard to make sure that she always had enough money and she became family more than a paying guest.

Once our financial struggles ended, we told Khushi she didn’t need to pay any more, but she won’t hear of it. She said that unless we wanted her to move out, she would carry on paying her rent as she had done.

Time went on and Arushi was born. After Arushi came along, it was evident that Khushi was struggling. I think she found it hard, having a baby but not having her husband beside her.

Up to this point, a strong level of trust and understanding had formed between me and Khushi and Khushi and mom. However everything seemed to go backwards after Arushi was born. Khushi wouldn’t let her baby out of her site and she’d never leave her with us at all. Mom said we shouldn’t take it personally, that she’d get better, but up until then, we had to be patient with her. Mom was right, at first Khushi wouldn’t let us go anywhere near Arushi, but as some time went on, she got more comfortable with leaving her with us.

As Arushi got older, she and Khushi needed two rooms. When Khushi had started talking about moving out, me and mom wouldn’t hear of it. We still had a spare room in our house, so we told Khushi that Arushi could have that room but we refused to let Khushi pay for another room. After much reluctance, she finally agreed.

 

*****

 

Time went on and the four of us started to feel more and more like a family. Over the years, mom had suggested that I marry Khushi. Now I have to admit, I did like Khushi. I liked spending time with her and I felt happy with her. Maybe I was slightly in love with her. How could one not fall in love with her? She was strong, brave, sweet and crazy beautiful. But I knew I couldn’t marry her. Her heart belonged to Arnav. Every Karva Chauth, she kept a fast in his name, she still wore her mangalsoothra and she always had some sindoor on too. She was still Arnav’s wife and I knew it would be stupid to even ask for her hand.

Initially Arushi didn’t call me papa. She knew I wasn’t her dad. When she first started addressing us, I was mamaji and mom was Nani. When Arushi got a little bit older and realised that all kids around her had a dad except her, she asked Khushi about her father. The question threw Khushi and she struggled to answer. But mom told her that she did have a father, of course she did, but her dad lived very far away and he always had a lot of work so he couldn’t come. But Arushi was assured that her father loved her. Maybe it’s because I was around, Arushi never truly felt Arnav’s absence. Arushi was a sweet child, never caused any problems and like her mother, she too was immensely loving. It wasn’t hard to love Arushi.

But it was as she got older and she started going to school, the kids around her realised that she didn’t have a dad and that upset Arushi. It was then that I took it upon myself to deal with it. All it took was going to school with her one day and all the teasing stopped. But by then, Arushi’s morale had been lowered and she asked Khushi about her dad more and more.

 

*Flashback*

 

“Mama I want my papa!”

 

I watched on as Arushi stamped her little feet, tears rolling down her face.”

 

“Arushi! Stop! You know your papa lives far away.”

“But why can’t go to see him?”

“Because we can’t! He lives in Delhi, it’s too far.”

“I want to talk to him on the phone.”

 

Arushi continued to cry and from her voice, I could tell that Khushi too was on the verge of tears. It wasn’t my business but I couldn’t see either of them like this. I walked into Arushi’s bedroom and kneeled before her.

 

“What’s the matter princess?”

“I want my papa.”

“But beta, you know your papa is far away.”

“But I want my papa! Everyone has a papa, I want mine!”

 

I saw Khushi take a step forward, but I stopped her.

 

“Why do you want your papa? You have your mama, you have me and you have your Nani. We all love you.”

“But I want…”

“Okay, how about this. How about I be your papa?”

 

She stopped crying and looked at me, confusion on her little face.

 

“You can be my papa?”

“If you want to call me papa, I will be your papa.”

“But I have a papa.”

“You can have 2. One who is far away and one who is with you all the time. There’s nothing wrong with having two papa’s. Double the love for you.”

 

I watched as she played with the idea. She looked confused, but her little face lit up and she nodded frantically before hugging me.

 

“Can I call you papa and take you to the Father’s Day event?”

“Of course.”

“Yayyyy!”

 

Jumping up, she gave me a big hug before running out of the room. I turned to Khushi who looked completely exhausted.

 

“I’m sorry, I should have checked with you…”

“Thank you. You saved me today Raj. I didn’t know what to do…”

“Khushi, I know you hate speaking about this but maybe you should let her meet him just once.”

“Raj you know why I can’t do that. How can I introduce her to her father when her father doesn’t even know she exists?”

“Maybe it’s time he did know Khushi.”

 

She turned away from me and I knew that this meant that this conversation was over once more. Honestly, I didn’t want Khushi to reach out to Arnav, but I wanted her and Arushi to be happy always. No matter how happy Khushi acted, it was obvious that she wanted to be with her husband. And after all, why wouldn’t she want that? Nothing had gone wrong between them, they hadn’t had a break up. Yes, he had a child with someone else, but he was with that person before Khushi entered his life so she couldn’t even be angry about that. There was nothing that made her bitter towards Arnav and so it made sense why she still wanted to be with him.

 

*Flashback end*

 

From that day onwards, I have been Arushi’s papa. But despite having me and calling me papa, she still wanted to meet her real father. She didn’t ask about his often, but she did every now and again and those days were still hard for Khushi. I wished Arushi would accept me as her father and completely forget that she actually has another mans blood running through her, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen.

No matter how much love I have forher, she would always be Arushi Singh Raizada, daughter of Arnav Singh Raizada. And no matter how much I loved Khushi, she would forever be the wife of Arnav Singh Raizada. The lucky dog. He was blessed with the two people I wanted more than anything, yet he wasn’t fortunate enough to have them.

I guess I should really feel sorry for him, but at the end of the day I envy him. Because in my heart I know, one day, Khushi and Arushi will go back to him. I don’t know when and how, but I know, I can feel it in my body. They will return to him…

Jalebi ~ Part 23

 

Rushing out of the wedding venue, Khushi avoided bumping into anyone. She couldn’t face anyone now, she couldn’t explain what had happened.

Arnav rushed after Khushi but someone caught hold of his sleeve and pulled him back.
Turning, he saw that the person holding him was his Di.

 

“Di let me go, I really need to go to Khushi.”

“Chote, what the hell is going on? I heard the back end of your argument with Khushi and it sounded… Chote what the hell have you done?”

“I swear Di, I haven’t done anything, something has gone seriously wrong and if I don’t sort it, I could lose her.”

“Look, I understand, but I can’t have you leave now. It’s our brother’s wedding.”

 

Dragging Arnav back, he protested, tried to explain to Anjali that he needed to leave. When he realised that his protests were going completely unnoticed, he watched as Payal and Akash prepared to start doing the holy rounds. He looked at Akash who looked so happy. So content with life. How could he be so calm when Arnav’s life was being flipped over completely?

Akash looked down from the mandap and he watched as Di brought Arnav back into the main hall. As he saw Arnav’s face, he smirked. The deed had been done, the arrow had hit the target. He had planned his move carefully. He had gotten both Arnav and Khushi to sign the papers ages back, but hadn’t filed them. He knew that if he had filed them earlier, it may have caused issues with his wedding. So he waited. And he only had the papers filed this morning. This way, the proceedings would happen during the day, and by the time it came to Arnav and Khushi’s knowledge, it would be time for his wedding. He knew that Arnav wouldn’t cause a scene and confront him while he was getting married.

Mentally Akash pat himself on the back. Stage one was complete, now for stage two…

 

*****

 

“Mohit I need to see those papers.”

 

Handing over the papers, Khushi sat down at his desk and went through them.
These papers were detailed, they covered everything. But the main point was that she had given up all her rights to her business to Arnav.

Tears streaming down her face, Khushi shut the file and threw it at the wall.

 

“I don’t understand Mohit! I’m always so careful about what I’m signing! How did this happen?”

 

Taking a seat opposite Khushi, he placed his hand over hers.

 

“Khushi, I know this is hard. As your friend, not as your lawyer, I would recommend you go back to England for a while. I know all you want to do is get this sorted, but right now I don’t see what we can do. You go to London, take some time out and I’ll stay and see what I can do. I’ll try and get to the bottom of everything.”

“I can go to London but I won’t get any peace.”

“I know, but at least you won’t have to face Arnav all the time.”

“I don’t understand Mohit, I really don’t…”

 

Covering her face with her hands, Khushi let herself cry. How could this happen, why was this happening. She had loved Arnav with all  her heart. How could he possibly have done this?

 

 

*****

 

It was much later and the wedding was done. Payal had been welcomed into the home as the Raizada bride and the little post wedding games had been played. Di had taken Payal up to Akash’s bedroom, and Arnav used this opportunity to pull Akash away and speak to him.

 

“Bhai, what’s up? I don’t really have time to discuss anything now, need to get upstairs and get busy, if you know what I mean.”

“I think you’ve already been busy.”

“No I haven’t. That’s only you.”

 

Laughing at the suggestive joke that he just made, Akash attempted to side step Arnav and leave. But Arnav wasn’t having it today. Placing his hand on Akash’s shoulder, he pulled him back.

 

“What the hell are you playing at Akash.”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t act dumb. Akash, how the hell am I sole owner of AR Designs and Khushiyan?”

“What? You are? I didn’t know that!”

“Don’t lie Akash! No one else knew the plan other than you. Why the hell did you do it?”

 

Dropping the pretence, Arnav watched as Akash’s expression changed from his easy going one to a much more sinister one.

 

“Okay, fine, yes I went through with the plan. I made both you and Khushi sign those papers. It’s thanks to me you own 2 successful businesses.”

“But you knew I didn’t want this!”

“You didn’t want it, but you needed it and you knew that! AR may still be floating, but we both know that without the backing of Khushiyan, AR is going to sink completely.”

“We had the backing of Khushiyan!”

“But it’s not the same when it’s owned by someone else! We needed 100% power to make sure that everything went the way we wanted it to.”

“You’re crazy! The whole point of the partnership was so that we would be able to make things better for AR. We knew we had Khushiyan’s backing.”

“Why are you reacting so badly bhai? You own two businesses now!”

“I may have gained a business, but I’ve lost the most important person in my life.”

“There was nothing special about Khushi any way, you’ll get over her.”

“I love her Akash! I was going to marry her! She means more to me than these businesses do!”

“You may love her that much, but she obviously doesn’t feel the same. If she did, she wouldn’t have cared about the business.”

“You don’t get it Akash! She thinks I cheated her!”

 

Beginning to get impatient, Akash looked at his watch before turning back to Arnav.

 

“Look, it’s my wedding night, my wife is waiting for me. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“How are you going to be able to look Payal in the eye and get close to her when you know you’re the reason her sisters heart is broken right now.”

“We’ll deal with that when she finds out.”

 

With that, Akash turned away. Arnav felt anger coursing through his body. This wasn’t meant to happen, this couldn’t be happening!

He walked into his room, picked up a vase and threw it against the floor, making it shatter into a million pieces.

 

“AGH!”

“Chote?”

 

Turning around, Arnav realised Di was stood at the entrance of his door, her eyes wide. Walking into the room, Anjali observed the broken case, but stepped around it and placed her hands on her brothers shoulders.

 

“Chote what’s the matter? What’s going on? What I saw between you and Khushi and now… All this anger? I haven’t seen you like this in such a long time, what happened?”

“Di…”

 

Finally the anger subsided and Arnav felt like crap. His heart hurt, his head hurt… Tears rolled down his face as he hugged his sister.

 

“Chote…”

“Everything is ruined Di.”

 

Anjali hugged her brother. She hadn’t seen him this upset in a long, long time. Breaking the hug, she led Arnav to the recliner and sat him down, before sitting down beside him. Laying down in her lap, he wrapped his arms around her and cried. Anjali stroked his hair, he hadn’t cried to her in this manner since they had been children.

She let him cry, let him get it all out of his system. When Arnav finally calmed down, he sat up.

 

“She ended it.”

“What? But why Chote?”

 

Arnav explained about the business, about how he was now the only owner of both business. He skipped the part about it all being down to Akash.

 

“I don’t understand how this just happened though.”

 

He realised he couldn’t hide the truth, and also realised he didn’t really care about trying to protect Akash. He ruined his life, made Khushi walk away from him, while he was still living happily. He couldn’t defend him.

Arnav explained everything, from the beginning. He explained the original plan, about Akash’s insistence, about the fact that he thought that Akash would back off now that Arnav and Khushi were serious about each other.

 

“I can’t believe Akash would do that! Chote, I know he’s our brother, but I’m sure there’s more to the story. Otherwise I don’t see why he’d go through with it, especially when he knew there was no need. It’s almost as though he did it to make a mess between you and Khushi. I don’t know Chote, you need to find out what Akash’s game plan is.”

“I really can’t deal with him now Di. I need to focus on Khushi, I can’t lose her Di! But she’s not been picking up my calls or responding to my messages. She hasn’t even opened my WhatsApp messages. Di, it can’t be over between us. I love her.”

“She’s angry, and she’s confused. Give her some time, she’ll come round.”

“I’ll sign her business back over to her, I’ll even give her half of mine on top of all of hers, anything. I just need her to give me a chance.”

“She will, don’t worry. You both love each other. She won’t let this end.”

 

Getting off the recliner, Arnav opened his wardrobe and took a little box out before coming back to Di.

 

“I brought this the other day, I was going to talk to Nani while Akash and Payal went back to Payal’s maternal home tomorrow. And then after that, within the next few days I was going to propose to Khushi.”

 

Anjali took the box from Arnav and opened it up. She gasped at the ring inside.

It was in the shape of a flower, a large diamond in the middle with lots and lots of little diamonds around it.

 

“Chote this is beautiful!”

“I wanted it to be something different, something extra special, like she is… But now…”

 

Tears gathered in his eyes once more. Anjali wiped them away with her hand and she shook her head.

 

“Give her some time. In the meantime you need to get this sorted, you need to fix this stuff with the businesses. I’ve seen the way you look at each other, she loves you as much as you do her. She won’t just end things with you like this.”

“Her business is her life. She’s worked so, so hard to get it to where it is…”

“And we will give back what’s her. Don’t worry Chote, we will fix this!”

 

Hugging his sister once again, Arnav prayed that Di was right and that they would be able to sort this out. If they can’t… He didn’t want to think what would happen if he couldn’t get her back.

 

*****

 

The clock struck 2am and Akash was stood by his window, looking out at the moonless sky. He turned around, looked at the sleeping, naked Payal in the bed and turned away again. How had his life come to this, how had he settled for his second choice?

Akash had been in love with Khushi for as long as he could remember. Back in high school, before he began dating Payal, his heart was set on trying to win Khushi over. When everyone else saw her as Jalebi, he saw her as Khushi. She was smart, talented, and beneath all the nerd, he could see a beauty. Maybe his friends had realised his attraction towards her, maybe that’s why they dared him to ask her out…

 

*Flashback*

 

“Go on Akash, we dare you! Go and ask Jalebi out on a date! She’ll never say no to you.”

 

Laughing, Akash fixed his collar and marched over to her. They were right, she’d never say no to him.

He looked at Khushi who was sat at a table, busy working away.

 

“Hi.”

 

Looking up, Khushi smiled and regarded him before she went back to her work.
Taking a seat at her table, Akash waited for her to notice him again. She didn’t.

 

“Ahem.”

 

Looking up once again, Khushi shut her book.

 

“Can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a date with me?”

 

Looking taken aback, Khushi tried to make sense of what Akash was saying to her.

 

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yes. So will you?”

“Look Akash, I’m flattered but… No. I’m sorry.”

 

Gathering her books up, Khushi got to her feet and then left. Akash watched as she walked away, not being able to comprehend what just happened. She rejected him? She rejected him! Everyone wanted to go out on a date with her and here she was, rejecting him! How dare she?

He watched her walk away, she didn’t even look back at him.

It was then he decided that he had to have her. He needed to find a way to catch her attention and make her realise that she wanted him. Akash’s eyes feel on a table of girls and he saw the girl he was looking for, Payal Gupta. Khushi’s cousin.
Smiling, Akash decided on what he was going to do…

 

*Flashback end*

Slamming his fist against the wall, Akash cursed himself. How had trying to make Khushi jealous end up with him marrying Payal? He should’ve realised that it wasn’t going to make a difference to her, that she didn’t want him. But he had hoped, somewhere along the line she would have realised that she had feelings for him too, but she didn’t.

This plan, to take her business, that was his punishment for her rejecting him all those years back. He couldn’t let that go. And now thinking about it all, he realised she deserved this. She deserved to have everything taken from her. She had rejected him, yet she ended up sleeping with his brother. His no good, good for nothing brother. What did Arnav have that he didn’t? Why was she willing to jump into Arnav’s bed but not his?

Thinking about it, he guessed Arnav deserved this too. He deserved to have Khushi hate him and think the worst of him. Arnav always had everything handed to him on a plate. He never had to work for anything, he always got what he wanted. Well not any more. He lost Khushi and that was good enough for Akash. If he couldn’t have Khushi, then Arnav couldn’t have her either.

Unwanted ~ Part 27

Khushi

 

Getting out of work early, I decided to go and pick Arushi up from school myself instead of getting our neighbour to drop her off home.

To get to the school from the office didn’t take long. I parked my car in the car park and then went inside the gates to get my baby. I looked at my watch, there was still a few minutes before they would start being let out, so I made my way up to where her classroom was.

Just as I was approaching her classroom, I saw my baby’s little head as she ran towards me.

 

“Mama!”

“Hey baby! How come you got out of class?”

“I told new sir that I saw you and Naina Maasi told sir that she would take me to you.”

 

Naina is our neighbour with whom Arushi usually came home with.

 

“New sir? Who new sir? Why wasn’t Mr Kapoor letting you out?”

 

Just as Arushi was about to start explaining, Naina approached us and started explaining to me how Mr Kapoor had left and how the kids had a substitute.

Nodding, we all turned and started making our way back to my car.

 

*****

 

It was later the same evening and Arushi was sat behind me, working on the letters and numbers she had learnt in class while I read through some files.

 

“Mama mama, guess what?”

“What happened baby?”

“My new teacher said his wife makes better jalebis than you!”

 

“Really?” I turned to see Raj leaning against the doorway, watching Arushi. She turned and saw him standing there and got up, rushing over to him.

“Papa!”

“Hi! So what did your teacher say?”

“I told him mama makes the best jalebis and he said his wife makes better ones!”

 

I saw that Raj looked confused as to why Arushi was talking about a new teacher, so I explained to him about the staffing changes.

 

“Oh I see! Well in that case, I think you should take your teacher some of your mama’s jalebis so he can see that your mom makes the best jalebis ever!”

 

I blushed at the compliment from Raj and turned my attention back to my work while he and Arushi spoke about her day.

 

“So what’s your new teachers name?”

“Mr Rai… Rai…”

 

I felt my blood run cold and I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Rai? Rai what? Raizada? Surely not. Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. I was being paranoid. There was only one Raizada family in all of India and none of the Raizada’s were teachers. Plus she hadn’t even said his name was Raizada. I needed to calm down.

 

“Mr Raichanda!”

“Raichanda?”

“Haan papa! Mr Raichanda! He’s a giant!”

“A giant?”

 

I turned back to Arushi and Raj and I watched him chuckle as she explained how tall her Mr Raichanda was and how he almost touched the ceiling.

 

“He’s even taller than you!”

“Really?”

 

Arushi nodded her head, telling Raj that her teacher was much, much taller than him. I carried on watching as they talked about giants and jalebis. Laughing, I got to my feet and made my way to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for the both of them.

 

As I was frying the samosas, Veera Mausi came to look over my shoulder.

 

“You’re making samosas for those two?”

“Haan, I thought they’d be hungry so…”

“You take such good care of them both. Obviously, you take care of Arushi because she’s your daughter but Raj too…”

“He’s my friend. He’s stood by me through so much. The least I can do is to take care of him too.”

“We’re lucky to have you in our lives, you know that don’t you.”

“And me and Arushi are lucky to have you and Raj.”

 

Taking the samosas out of the oil, I put them on a plate. Once they were slightly cool, I handed one to Veera Mausi to try.

 

“Perfect as always.”

 

Smiling, I picked up the plate and made to leave the kitchen when she stopped me.

 

“Khushi… Can I speak to you about something?”

“Of course! But let me give these first before they get cold.”

 

She nodded and I rushed upstairs to give Arushi and Raj their samosas. They were both on the floor on their tummies, talking about the letters that Arushi had learnt. Smiling, I left them to it and made my way back downstairs. Veera Mausi was sat in the living room, on the sofa, so I sat down beside her.

 

“Khushi, I know it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned this but, have you thought about my proposal to you?”

 

I looked away, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

 

“I have, but my answer is still the same.”

“But Khushi…”

“Please, I don’t want to be rude nor do I want to be disrespectful, but this is one request of yours I cannot consider.”

“But to the world you are already…”

“That’s to the world, but we know the truth. I can’t…”

 

I got up for the sofa and turned away. I couldn’t have this conversation, couldn’t even consider it. I dismissed myself and went back upstairs to find Raj and Arushi still talking about something. I leaned against the door frame, listening to them. I didn’t even realise when Veera Mausi came up behind me.

 

“Just look at them. Even you know they look like they’re father and daughter.”

 

She placed her hand on my shoulder and led me to her room.

 

“Khushi, please consider what I am saying.”

“I can’t! Despite everything, I am still married to Arnav, I’m still his wife. How can I even think about marrying someone else when…

“He got married again didn’t he?”

“But…”

“You could always file for a divorce and send the papers to him.”

“No… I can’t.”

“What about my Raj? We both know he loves you and Arushi too much, hence why he can’t seem to get married to anyone else. If you don’t marry him, I don’t think he ever will.”

“Maybe it’s time for me and Arushi to leave. If we aren’t here, then he’ll stop feeling obligated to us and he’ll move on.”

“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Raj sees Arushi as his own. He won’t just let you both go like that.”

 

I ran my hand through my hair. This was a common conversation between me and Veera Mausi. She wanted me and Raj to marry. I know she means well, but I can’t even consider it. No matter what, I am still Arnav’s wife and even though he’s married to someone else, I can’t just move on like that.

 

“I’m sorry, but my answer is still no.”

“Arushi deserves stable home.”

“She has that! She has me. I’m working always to make sure that I can fulfil all her needs. And she has Raj, who like you said, loves her like his own. She has stability.”

“But what kind of life is this for her? Today she’s only 5 and half, she is happy with her life. But soon, she’ll get older, she’ll start understanding. She’ll want to meet her real father. But you don’t want to let her do that. Your depriving her both ways!”

“How? She’s got Raj?”

“But she already knows that Raj isn’t her real father. Nor her real father, nor is he a step father. Then she’ll want to know about he real father, what will you do then?”

“Some relations don’t need a name. And what Raj and Arushi have is far more important than a name or technicalities. As for what I’ll do when she starts asking questions, when we get there, we’ll see what needs to be done. But for now, Arushi is happy and that’s all that matters to me.”

“I will respect your wishes Khushi, but I think you should start considering it. Six years have passed. You don’t plan to go back to Arnav and that should be reason enough to try and start moving on with your life. And if not for yourself, think about Raj. He isn’t getting married because he’s hoping you will accept his feelings. Does he not deserve a companion too?

“Maybe when I’m ready, I will think about it, but for now, I’m not ready.”

 

Patting me on the shoulder, Veera left the room and I watched her go, taking in her words. Getting up, I made my way back to where Arushi and Raj were. They were still on the floor, reading a book now.

I watched as Raj read the book, changing his voice for all the different characters and I watched how Arushi’s expression changed and she laughed every time he did a high voice.

I watched as she listened intently, gazing up at him. Maybe Veera Mausi was right? Maybe… No no. I couldn’t… Despite everything else, the main issue was that I still loved Arnav. Until I stopped loving him, I couldn’t even consider marrying someone else. But maybe Raj and Arushi’s relationship did need a real name?

I walked away and went into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. Taking his picture out of my bedside table, I held it close to myself.

 

“What should I do Arnav?”

 

Maybe I did need to start considering marriage to Raj. It was true, he had been turning down proposals for as long as she could remember, and when he revealed it was because he wished to marry me, I remember how I’d felt completely lost. He never pressured me to make a decision but…

I felt so confused. What was the right thing to do? What should I do? What would be the best decision for everyone? Was I being unfair to Raj? He deserved to get married, to have a companion, to start a family of his own. I don’t think I could ever give him any of that. I don’t think I can marry someone else and start my life again with them. I don’t think I could ever get intimate with another man. Even if I married Raj, I would only be able to give him half a life, be half a wife. He deserved better than that. He deserved more than what I could ever give him.

I couldn’t marry Raj. I couldn’t.

Jalebi ~ Part 22

 

The big day had finally arrived. Weeks and weeks of preparation has led up to this very day.

There were only a mere few hours left until the wedding. Everyone was rushing around, making sure that everything was in place and ready to go. Khushi was doing last minute checks on all of Payal’s things, making sure that her stuff was all packed and ready to go and Arnav was making sure that all things surrounding the actual marriage ceremony were set.

 

*****

 

“Khushi, make sure that all my dresses have been put in, the new ones.”

“Yes jiji, they’re all in.”

“I honestly can’t believe that this is happening. I’m getting married!”

“I’m so excited for you! You’re marrying the love of your life!”

“I know!”

 

Both Payal and Khushi hugged each other and squealed out of joy. In a way, it still all felt surreal to them. Payal had never thought she would find Akash again and even if she did, she didn’t think that they would end up together.

 

“Khushi, can you believe that as soon my wedding is done, were all going to have to start organising yours.”

 

Looking away, Khushi blushed. She was very much aware that Arnav had already started making little plans regarding their marriage. She couldn’t wait until it all started becoming official.

 

“Aw look at you blushing! It’s my wedding, but you’re the one blushing like crazy.”

“Jiji leave me alone.”

“Khushi, on a serious note, there’s something I need to ask you.”

“Anything, what’s up?”

“Woh, I’m nervous about tonight.”

“Don’t be, you’ve been looking forward to your wedding for months and besides, it’s not like you’re getting married to someone you don’t know.”

“No no, I’m not nervous about that. I’m nervous about… The Suhaag Raat.”

“OH.”

“Khushi, I know this is personal, but seeing as you’ve done it… What can I expect? Will it really hurt?”

“You and jiju haven’t…?”

“No, we both wanted to wait until after marriage.”

“Oh I see. Well I guess there isn’t a lot to tell, I’m sure it’s different for everyone. As far as it hurting goes, it does hurt initially, but you forget about the pain because of the immense amount of pleasure.”

“I know this is personal as hell, but do you enjoy it?”

 

Blushing, Khushi looked away. Thoughts of her passionate nights with Arnav came back to her and it was almost as though she could feel his hands and his lips on her body.

 

“Very much. It’s the most enjoyable and amazing feeling in the world. You think that the best feeling is when you have your arms wrapped around your love and when you’re kissing them, but once you’ve done it, once you’ve been one with your love like that, you realise there’s no better feeling in the world. When you can’t actually tell where your body ends and where theirs starts, that’s the best feeling.”

 

Looking away, Khushi felt the heat spread all over her body. Shaking her head, she made an excuse and left the room.

Rushing out of the room, Khushi felt her heart thumping. Leaning against the nearest wall, she took a moment to breathe. Why was she getting so turned on and breathless just thinking about that?

Almost as if he knew she was thinking about him, Arnav texted Khushi.

 

*I can’t stop thinking about you. Bet you can’t stop thinking about me either.*

 

How did he know? How did he know that she was thinking about him? Shaking her head, Khushi went back to what she was doing before.

 

*****

 

Everyone was ready and waiting for the grooms party to arrive. Khushi and all of Payal’s friends were hanging over the balcony, trying to see if they could see the groom arriving. When finally they could hear the music and see the fireworks, they all cheered, the groom had arrived. As much as Khushi was glad to see the groom, her eyes sought out Arnav. There he was, right at the front, leading the procession almost. He was wearing a gold sherwani, not as fancy as Akash’s obviously, but still beautiful. Khushi looked down at herself in her pale pink and gold sari. Their pictures were going to look amazing.

While Payal’s friends made sure that Payal looked perfect, Khushi did a last check to make sure that all of Payal’s things were in order. As she was checking Payal’s suitcase, she could hear her phone ringing.

Walking over to her phone, she saw that it was her lawyer calling. Khushi was about to take the call, but decided against it. It was Payal’s wedding, she didn’t have time to think about work. For one day, work wasn’t her priority.

 

*****

 

The grooms family had been welcomed and Akash was taken over to the mandap.

Busy ushering guests, Khushi hadn’t had time yet to actually stop and speak to Arnav. Arnav had tried to stop Khushi a number of times, but she told him she’d be back in a minute.

After waiting for almost 20 minutes, Arnav had enough. The next time he saw Khushi walk past, he grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her to himself.

 

“Arnav! Let go someone will see us.”

 

Dropping hold of Khushi’s hand, he smiled.

 

“Let them see, we don’t need to hide any more because as soon as this wedding is done, I’m telling my family about us.”

 

Biting her lip, Khushi blushed. She still couldn’t believe this was happening.

 

“You look beautiful, the way you’ve draped this sari, it really compliments your body shape.”

“Thank you, you look great too.”

“We should take a picture.”

 

Nodding, Khushi followed Arnav as he led them towards the photographer.
Catching the attention of the photographer, Arnav wrapped his arm around Khushi’s waist. The photographer asked if they were a couple. Khushi was about to say no, but Arnav said yes.

 

“Could ma’am place her hand on sirs chest then.”

 

Looking around, Khushi saw that no one was watching them and so listened to what the photographer was asking of her. Placing her hand on his chest, the photographer clicked away.

 

“Beautiful pictures and a beautiful couple!”

“Thanks.”

 

Moving away from each other, Khushi blushed.

 

“It’s nearly time for the garland exchange and stuff, I need to go and get jiji.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit then.”

 

Smiling Khushi turned away from Arnav and made her way up the stairs. Reaching Payal’s room, she saw that she was sat on her own, waiting.

 

“Come on jiji, jijaji is waiting for you!”

“Is it time for the garland exchange?”

 

Nodding, Khushi took hold of Payal’s hand and helped her up.

 

“Oh by the way Khushi, you should really call your lawyer. Your phone kept ringing over and over again. And I thought it was important so answered it. He said that you needed to call him back right now, it’s urgent.”

“It’s okay, I’ll call him tomorrow, he knows I’m busy with you’re wedding today.”

“No Khushi, I think you should really call him. He sounded very tense.”

“Okay, but first let’s get you downstairs.”

 

Getting Payal downstairs and at the mandap, she waited until the garland exchange was done before pulling her phone out of her bag and finding a quiet room to make her call.

 

“Mohit, I told you I couldn’t take any calls today.”

“I know and I’m really sorry but something’s come up and it can’t wait.”

“Okay, tell me, what’s happened.”

 

Listening to what Mohit had to say, Khushi’s smile slid off her face.

 

“What are you saying? Surely there’s been a mistake?”

“Khushi I’ve got the papers in my hand right now. And I’m comparing your signature against other papers that you have signed for me. They’re identical and it’s your pen, the one you always sign with.”

“But why would I sign such papers, it doesn’t make sense. Have you tried calling the legal team?”

“That’s the thing, because the legal team were under the business name and not under just you like I am, they no longer belong to you.”

“Wait! Are you saying…”

“I’m all you have.”

“Look let me speak to Arnav and then I’ll call you back. This has to be a big mistake.”

 

Her head was spinning. How could this be happening? Surely there had to be some mistake, Arnav wouldn’t…

Going back to where the rituals for the wedding were taking place. Locating Arnav, she walked over to him, grabbed him by the hand and dragged him back to the quiet room that she had been in.

 

“Hey, what’s up? Someone’s impatient.”

 

Looping his arms around her waist, Arnav pulling Khushi into himself and started kissing her neck.

 

“I was getting bored of the wedding, I’d much rather be here alone with you.”

 

Pushing Arnav away with all her might, Khushi folded her arms over her chest. Arnav was confused. She’d never pushed him away like that.

 

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

“You tell me what the matter is.”

“Khushi, if I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Have you received any work related calls today?”

“Work related? No I haven’t. Why?”

“Well I received a call from Mohit.”

“Mohit? As in your lawyer?”

“Yes. My lawyer, who also happens to be my only employee at the moment.”

“You’re only employee? What do you mean? You have a whole team of people working behind you.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Khushi what are you saying? I don’t understand what’s going on.”

 

Taking her phone back out again, Khushi opened up the documents that Mohit had sent her.

 

“Look! Just look at these papers!”

 

Arnav took the phone from her and started looking at the documents, his eyes wide as he realised what they were. He kept reading, not understanding how this could be happening. At the bottom of each page, he saw his signature alongside Khushi’s. But he didn’t sign these papers? But they were in his handwriting!

Getting to the final page, Arnav looked at Khushi who now had tears streaming down her face. He took a step towards her, only to have her step away from him.

 

“Don’t come near me!”

“Khushi I swear, I swear I don’t know what these papers are, I’ve never seen them before! I’d never do this to you!”

“So these papers signed themselves did they Arnav? I don’t understand how I could’ve signed them but I’ve looked at the dates and backtracked. The day these papers were signed, it was the day after we spent the night at the farmhouse.”

“I really don’t know…”

“Stop saying you don’t know! These papers didn’t produce themselves! You must have got me to sign these alongside other papers so I didn’t read what it was saying. And you picked a day when you knew I was distracted. You had to have known something about it, it didn’t just happen.”

 

Running his hand through his hair and yanking his hair. How could this have happened?

 

“Khushi… I swear I said no, this wasn’t meant to happen, when I started falling in love with you I put a stop to…”

“Wait! You actually planned… There was an actual plan to take my business from me?”

“I didn’t…”

“At one point, was there a plan to steal my business from me, yes or no?”

“Yes but…”

“Oh my god!”

 

Turning around, Khushi raised her hand to her head. She couldn’t believe this.

 

“So you actually… You had a plan to steal my business from me? How could you? Wait… Our relationship… Everything between us…”

 

He took a step towards her, he needed to explain, he couldn’t let her believe something that wasn’t true.

 

“I’ll admit, there was a plan, but I swear, I never wanted to go through with it, I never had a single intention of going through with it. And when things started happening between us…”

“Did you try to woo me so it would be easier for you to steal my business from me?”

“No! No! Not at all! I genuinely fell in love with you, Khushi you need to believe me.”

“Did you sleep with me that night in the farmhouse so that I’d be distracted the next day?”

“You know I didn’t. You know this isn’t true.”

“Did you sleep with me so you can steal my business?!”

 

He could tell she was getting angrier as the moment went on. She was angry and didn’t want to listen to what he saying and he couldn’t blame her. He probably would be this angry too.

 

“Baby… Please, believe me…”

“Should I tell you the truth Arnav. I don’t give a crap that you’ve taken my business. I mean I do, but what’s hurting me is that in order to steal my business from me, you stole my heart. I gave you my everything. I trusted you, I loved you, I gave you my heart, my soul, my body, my everything and you…”

 

Tears now streamed down Arnav’s face. How could he make her see that he didn’t do this to her?

 

“Did you ever love me? Everything that happened between us, was that you being tactical or did you actually do it because you cared for me?”

“Khushi, you know the answer to that.”

“I don’t know anything right now. I have never felt so confused.”

 

Wiping her tears, Khushi turned away. Arnav grabbed hold of her hand.

 

“Khushi please, don’t leave like this. You have to believe me, I didn’t do this to you.”

 

Pulling her hand out of his grip, she could really feel her temper bubbling up now.

 

“You keep saying you didn’t do this to me but you also admitted that there was a plan! How do you expect me to trust you?”

 

She turned away again. She couldn’t stay here.

 

“I need to go and talk to Mohit.”

“But the wedding…”

“To hell with the wedding!”

 

She turned away and was about to leave the room, but stopped and turned round one last time.

 

“It’s over Arnav. We’re done.”

 

She left the room and Arnav watched as she walked straight out of the front door. He should’ve gone after her, but her words had left him paralysed.

 

“It’s over Arnav.”

 

Was she going to end their relationship just like that? How could she do that? They had spoken about marriage! Their wedding was as good as planned! How could she end things and walk away now? Couldn’t she see that he loved her, that he wouldn’t do that to her? How could she think so low of him? Then his mind changed directions as he began thinking about the logistics of what had just happened.

How did this happen? Akash had said he wouldn’t do anything? He’d said he was happy that Arnav was happy with Khushi… But Akash also knew what happened that night when he and Khushi had gone to the farmhouse. Had he used that knowledge and acted on it? Did he go to Khushi because he knew she would be distracted? Arnav needed to find out and he needed to find out now. But how could he do anything with a wedding going on?