Jalebi ~ Part 29

Khushi lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Rohan was still out of town and so Khushi had been spending a lot of time around the house. She’d been tempted to take the calls of the Raizada’s but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to speak to them just yet. All her thoughts, all her feelings were troubling her the more time she spent alone. When she closed her eyes, she could feel Arnav’s hands and his lips on her body. When she opened her eyes in the morning, she thought Arnav was lying beside her. It was driving her insane and she couldn’t deal with it.

As time passed and Khushi remained idle, she got more and more angry at Akash. How could he take everything away from her like that? The business, fine, his greed got the better of him, but he should have realised that taking the business would lead to her losing the love of her life, her soulmate. The more Khushi thought about it, the more she realised that she couldn’t stay mad at Arnav. But how could she not? If he hadn’t accommodated the idea in the first place then this wouldn’t have happened.

Sitting up, Khushi ran her hand through her hair, tugging on the ends. This was all driving her insane! She couldn’t deal with this any more. She needed to do something to get it sorted.

Looking at the clock, Khushi realised it was only 2pm. Jumping out of bed, Khushi got dressed. It was finally time to sort this.

 

*****

 

“Khushi? What are you… Who let you in?”

“Hi jijaji. I’m guessing you weren’t expecting me.”

 

Looking around, it was obvious that Khushi had caught Akash off guard. He hadn’t been expecting for her to come to see him and it showed on his face.

Waling into the office, she shut the door slightly, and sat in the seat opposite him.

 

“Listen…”

“No. You’re going to listen. Why would you do this to me jijaji? I respected you so much, I thought you were such a nice person and you… You conspired against me the whole time.”

“I didn’t…”

“You stole my business. The one I put my heart and soul into for five years. How could you? And then Arnav… I thought he… I believed he did this to me, I thought the worst of him… How could you mess with my love and my life like that?”

 

Looking at him, Khushi waited for an answer. Akash opened his mouth and then shut it again as he felt something snap within him.

 

“You want to know why and how?”

“Yes, please tell me.”

“You deserved it. You deserved to have everything you held important taken from you. Call it revenge.”

“Revenge for what?”

 

She looked at him quizzically, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

 

“Revenge for what Akash? What have I ever done to you that’s so bad that you felt the need to ruin my life in this manner?”

 

Remaining silent, Akash played up his options. Either he could remain silent and maybe she’d leave, or he could tell her exactly how she ruined his life. Akash decided to go for the latter.

 

“I ruined your life, because you made a mess of mine.”

“Excuse me?”

“Remember when I asked you on a date in high school?”

“No? When did you ever do that?”

“It was just before I started dating Payal. I asked you out first and you completely ignored me. You said no and then left.”

 

Her forehead creased and Akash watched as she took in the what he was saying. He could tell she was confused, really thinking hard and then her expression softened.

 

“It was a dare though?”

“Yes it had been a dare, but I was generally interested in you and I actually wanted to date you. But you shot me down in an instant, you didn’t think anything of it.”

“I didn’t realise you were being serious. How was I supposed to know?”

“Would it have made a difference to your decision?”

“No. Probably not.”

“Then you deserved what you got.”

 

Looking up, Khushi tried to understand Akash and his actions.

 

“Are you… Are you actually insane?That was in high school! And besides, you got with jiji after and now you’re married to her. It all worked out for you. Why did you need to ruin my life?”

“You don’t get it do you? I was in love with you and you turned me away. I went to Payal to make you jealous. But it never worked.”

“I don’t… Why did you feel so strongly about me back then? I was so basic, so… I was invisible.”

 

Khushi felt genuinely super confused. This was insane! So Akash had been in love with her and went to Payal to make her jealous?

 

“You may have been invisible to everyone else, but I noticed you in classes. I saw how smart you were and I found that attractive. Boys back then only cared about boobs and butts. I cared about brains.”

“But you’re with jiji now! You’re married to her! How could you do this to me and to her?”

“I couldn’t just let you get away with it Khushi. And then you got with bhai. Do you know how hard that was? Maybe if you and bhai didn’t get that close, maybe I wouldn’t have done anything. But knowing you were sleeping with him when I…”

“Don’t.”

 

She wanted him to stop. This was crazy. Akash wasn’t right in the head, there was definitely something wrong with him.

 

“Okay so I screwed up when we were kids, but Akash, you’re married to my jiji now and you’re happy! Why would you…”

“Because we needed your business! AR was sinking…”

“And I could have helped you! There was no need for you to steal my business from me.”

 

Waiting, Khushi watched as the cogs in Akash’s brain spun and he tried to think of something to say, but nothing came. Letting out a sigh of exasperation, Khushi threw her arms in the air and turned away.

 

“This was a waste of my time. You aren’t worth it. You can have Khushiyan and you can shove it up your ass. I hope jiji sees what kind of trash you are. She deserves so much better.”

 

Turning to look at Akash one last time, Khushi took in his slumped figure and just shook her head and made her way to leave. Reaching the door, she was shocked to find Arnav stood in the doorway.

 

“Arnav…”

 

Akash looked up from his desk, his eyes wide as he took his brother in.

 

“How long have you been here?”

 

Walking into the room, Arnav walked over to Akash.

 

“You did all this for revenge? You used me as a pawn so you could get revenge?”

“Bhai…”

“How could you Akash! Does my happiness mean that little to you? At the beginning, okay fine, I didn’t know Khushi, she didn’t mean anything to me. But when you realised I was falling in love with Khushi and you knew that I didn’t approve, you still went ahead for the sake of your revenge?”

 

Khushi looked between the two brothers. Akash had his head down, and Arnav was seething with anger but it was evident that he was hurting.

 

“Arnav leave it…”

“No! You may be able to leave it because you’ve moved on, but I haven’t! And so I can’t leave it.”

 

He marched over to Akash and pulled him out of the chair by his collar. Khushi rushed in after him.

 

“How could you do that to me? I’ve always loved you and treated you like my own little brother and you.”

“Arnav let him go!”

“If I was as low as you, I’d probably beat you up now, but I respect family.”

 

Letting go of his collar, Arnav threw Akash back into the chair and stormed out of the office.

 

*****

 

“Arnav! Arnav wait!”

Running after Arnav, Khushi needed to make sure that he was okay. Akash had looked drained and slightly mortified when she had left but he didn’t matter. But Arnav did.

 

“Arnav!”

 

Finally catching up with him, Khushi caught Arnav by the elbow, turning him to face her.
She saw the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

 

“He used me and my feelings for you to achieve his own twisted schemes…”

“Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

 

As much as Khushi didn’t want to be alone with Arnav, she knew that she needed to talk to him, he seemed a mess at this moment.

 

“Let’s go back to mine.”

“No thanks. I don’t want to get beaten up by your fiancé.”

 

Turning away, Arnav was prepared to make his way back over to his car when Khushi stopped him again.

 

“Rohan is out of town.”

“Why are you insisting we talk? Aren’t you the one who wanted to cut me out of your life for good?”

“A lot has happened and we found out a lot today, I know you’re feeling confused, so am I. So I think it would be us both good to sit and talk about it.”

 

Turning his attention to Khushi, he saw her outstretched hand, her caring look in her eyes. It was evident that no matter what happened between them, she still cared and maybe, just maybe, he had a chance of winning her back.

Nodding, Arnav led Khushi to the car and they made their way back to Khushi’s apartment.

 

*****

 

“Take a seat, I’ll get you some coffee.”

 

Putting her keys down, Khushi went into the little kitchen while Arnav took a seat on the sofa. He looked around and he couldn’t help but feel nervous. The last time that he’d been here, he left finding out that she was engaged to her arsehole of a childhood friend.
She reemerged moments later, much faster than she had done the other day and handed Arnav his coffee cup and took a seat beside him. Arnav noticed how when she initially sat down, she was relatively close to him, and then she scooted away from him. She took a sip of her own tea before turning to Arnav.

 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not as mad as I was initially. But I’m still mad. How could he… I can’t even begin to comprehend.”

“I can’t either. I can’t believe something that happened so long ago fuelled so much hate and anger in him. If I knew this was to happen, I would have just gone on that date with him.”

“He’s insane. And forget about us, he played Payal too.”

“Don’t tell jiji anything. She’d break down if she found out what he was doing and her reasoning behind it all.”

“Well she already knows he’s the reason why you haven’t got Khushiyan any more. I told Di any way but I got drunk the other day and told Nani who took it up with mama and Mami.”

“You got drunk?”

 

Khushi’s eyes widened as she turned to him fully.

 

“You don’t get drunk?”

“That was the old Arnav. This Arnav drinks to drown his sorrows. Although, I’ve promised Nani I won’t get drunk again.”

“But why were you so drunk that you told Nani something like that?”

 

Arnav took a sip of his coffee and put the mug down, turning to Khushi.

 

“Why do you think I was so drunk?”

“I don’t…”

“I handed my business over out of anger, the only woman I’ve ever wanted to be with is engaged to someone else and my brother is a piece of shit. Is it hard to see why I’ve been getting drunk?”

 

Turning away, Khushi looked down.

 

“You act like you’re the only one that’s hurting.”

“It seems like I am.”

 

Unable to contain herself, Khushi looked Arnav in the eye, and he could see the anger in her.

 

“Just because I’m not getting drunk and I’m not lashing out doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. You chose to give your business up, mine was taken away from me! Yes, I may not be with you any more, but you’re not with me either any more. You act like you were the only one in love in our relationship, but I was too. I had to let you go… Do you think that was easy for me?”

“You went and got engaged to someone else.”

 

Shaking her head, Khushi realised there was no point talking to him about this. He wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t see.

 

“You don’t get it Arnav. I gave myself to you and I thought you betrayed me.”

“I didn’t…”

“I know that now! But at the time I was hurting and confused and Rohan was there for me. I thought that maybe our parents knew what they were doing when they had fixed our rishta…”

“But Khushi, you know now that I didn’t play you, or cheat you. Take me back.”

 

He’d put the cup down and leaned closer to her, taking her hands in his own. He looked into her eyes, searching for an answer, pleading almost for another chance.

 

“I love you and I know you still love me. Take me back Khushi.”

 

He leaned closer, his lips almost touching hers, waiting for a response. She looked into his eyes, and could see the sincerity, the need, the desperation almost.

 

“I can’t…”

 

He leaned closer, wanting to close the gap.

 

“You can…”

“Rohan…”

 

She moved back, pulling her hands out of Arnav’s and looked away.

 

“I can’t! I can’t do that to Rohan. Not after the way he supported me at my time of need. I can’t…”

 

Getting to her feet, she turned away. Arnav too got up, his hand reaching her shoulder.

 

“We’re in love. Rohan will understand…”

“I can’t do that Arnav! Please, don’t make this harder for me.”

“So what, that’s it? Despite knowing I never wanted to hurt you, you’re still willing to turn your back on me? Does what we shared mean that little to you?”

“Please leave.”

 

Tears rolled down Khushi’s face. She wanted to be with Arnav, of course she did! But how could she just go back? How could she do that to Rohan? She couldn’t. Her bed was made and she had to lie in it now. Without Arnav…

Unwanted ~ Part 32

Arnav

After the initial paranoia on my birthday about what was going on with Nimisha and Pari, I realised that I really didn’t care. It didn’t bother me what was going on with them. If they weren’t bothering me, then that was a good thing.

My time here in Mumbai and at the school was almost over. I had a week left and after that, I would be in my way back to Delhi, back to my usual life. In a way, I was looking forward to going back, but at the same time I wasn’t. I was going to miss the kids. There was a little boy, Sumit, who I really got along with. He was a funny little guy, always knew the right things to say.

And then of course there was Arushi. The stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger. Even after all this time, I didn’t know why this child felt so familiar, like I should know her.

I’m sure if I said this out loud, or if I explained how I was drawn to this child, people would think wrongly of it, that they’d disapprove of it. Probably never let me work with kids again. But it was nothing like that. This child felt like someone close to me, like a relative. It’s an indescribable feeling. If anything, I guess it’s the way a father would feel towards his child. But there was no reason for me to feel paternal towards this child.

 

*****

 

I was in full flow, teaching the children how to put letters together to make new sounds. I was teaching them the concept that s and h together make a “sh” sound. And it was then that my phone started ringing. Reaching over my desk, I muted my phone so that I could carry on. Just as I was getting back into my flow, my phone started ringing once more. This time I picked my phone up off the desk. Payal was calling me? Why was Payal calling? And why was it so urgent that she needed to get hold of me right now? Had something happened? Khushi?

As it dawned on me that Payal could be calling me with something regarding Khushi, I knew I needed to answer the call.

But I couldn’t take a personal call while in the middle of a lesson. Looking at the time, I saw that there wasn’t long until the children would go for their lunch. I’d have to call Payal back then.

 

*****

 

Time seemed to crawl along, but soon enough it was lunchtime. The moment I got all the children to the canteen, I ran back to the classroom and called Payal back.

 

“Payal…”

“Bhai! I only realised after the second call you were in class but…”

“Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“I got a letter. From Khushi.”

 

I felt like I stopped breathing for a moment. There must have been something in that letter. Otherwise why else would Payal have been so desperate to try to get a hold of me?

 

“What… What did the letter say?”

 

There was a pause, maybe it was for only a few seconds, but it felt like eternity.

 

“Payal…”

“She said she saw you.”

 

Now I really did stop breathing. Khushi saw me? Meaning Khushi was… She’s here? In Mumbai.

 

“Should I read the letter to you?”

“Yes please.”

 

There was another pause and there was some rustling, but then Payal came back to the phone and she started reading the letter out to me. The moment she started reading and as I started taking the words in, it was abundantly clear that Khushi had seen me and that she didn’t want to be seen. I understood her insecurities and I understood her confusion.

 

“Payal, whatever you do, don’t tell anyone at home about this. About the fact that Khushi saw me and that I know where she is.”

“Of course.”

“Let me find her and then we’ll decide how to go forward. But for now, let’s keep this between us.”

“Okay bhai. Please, find her. She’s close by. Please find her.”

“I promise you Payal. I am going to find her and I’m going to bring her back.”

 

At that point, I wasn’t just making a promise to Payal, but to myself and Khushi as well. I was going to find her regardless of anything else. Even if it was the last thing I did, I was going to find her. But how was the real question.

 

*****

 

After thinking about all things Khushi related for a while, it became clear that I could leave Mumbai like I planned to. So I’d be leaving this job still, but I couldn’t go back to Delhi yet. I needed to find her. I wasn’t going to go back to Delhi without her.

But how was I meant to find her?

Just as the lunch break was coming to an end, Veer walked into my classroom.

 

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m good Arnav, yourself? How do you feel that you’re leaving at the end of the week?”

“I’m glad that I’m nearly done, but at the same time, I’m really going to miss the kids.”

“I’m sure they’re going to miss you too. Any way, I came to let you know that on Wednesday evening, you have to hold a parents evening and meet with the parents of the kids. As it’s the end of term, you need to give progress reports.”

“That’s fine. What do I need to do to prepare?”

“Just take out the file for the kids of your class, write the letters to the parents and specify what time you’d like to come in.”

 

It seemed straight forward enough. I told Veer that I’d get it all sorted and just as he was about to leave, I decided I should try my luck.

 

“Hey Veer, random as it is, I just wanted to ask, have you seen Khushi around Mumbai?”

“You wife?”

“Yeah?”

“No I haven’t. Why? Is she here?”

“I don’t know, was just curious.”

 

I watched Veer. He seemed to be racking his brains, trying to remember if he had seen her. I told him not to worry about it and he left just as the kids started coming back to class.

I turned away, and it was then then that I heard a little voice behind me.

 

“My mama’s name is Khushi.”

 

Turning around, my eyes widened as I saw the source of the little voice. Arushi.

 

*****

 

For the rest of that afternoon, I was completely dazed. Arushi’s mother was called Khushi. Once the children left at the end of the day, I remained in the classroom, in my chair, thinking.

Slowly all the pieces of information I knew about Arushi started fitting together.

The mother who made amazing jalebis, single mother. Father with the same birthday as me. A father who wasn’t in the picture because he was working in Delhi. A diabetic…

Running a hand through my hair, I realised that this was insane. Was Arushi… Was she… I couldn’t even think about it, couldn’t comprehend. It felt like a huge bag of bricks had just been dropped on my head. I recalled everything I had thought and felt since I first met Arushi. That feeling of knowing her. I thought back to how I thought she was a relative of Khushi’s. Never for a moment did I even consider that maybe this child was… I couldn’t even say it.

I needed to check my facts before I got ahead of myself. Getting to my feet, I pretty much ran down to the office and asked for the staff for all the files on the kids in my class.

Once I got them, I took them back to my classroom and dug out Arushi’s one first.

 

Name: Arushi Singhania.

Singhania? Where did this name from? I carried on reading.

Mother : Khushi Singhania.

This must be how Khushi went under the radar. She used a different surname, one I would never have thought of. I carried on reading through her file, looking for any details that could refer to her father. But there was no father listed, no contact details for a dad. The only mention of her father was in the notes, where it said that Arushi had diabetes and that it was inherited from her dad.

Leaning back in my chair, I put my hands on my head, taking it all in, trying to comprehend.

Looking at the date of birth, I counted back 9 months. And sure enough, it went back to around the time Khushi left me. If this was my Khushi and I was right, then it means that Khushi was very, very early pregnant when she left me. Too early to tell. She probably hadn’t known herself at the time that she was pregnant.

Putting all the pieces together, I had conclusive evidence to believe that Arushi’s mother and my Khushi were the same person. And that Arushi… Arushi was my… My daughter.

I couldn’t believe it. COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. I had a daughter. Arushi…

Oh my god.

 

*****

 

Parents evening time had arrived and I met one parent after another. As I ticked the kids off, I got closer and closer to Arushi’s name, meaning closer to Khushi. How would she react when she saw me? Would she turn and bolt? Or would she just freeze up?

Time went on as I carried on meeting with the other parents until finally, I was awaiting on Arushi and her mother…

Sitting in my chair, I leaned back, shut my eyes, and tried to steady my breathing.

It was then there was a knock on my door.

Sitting up straight, I smoothed down my tie and ran my hand through my hair.

 

“Come in.”

 

This was it. If my suspicions were correct, then Khushi would be walking in now.

Arushi rushed into the room, and following close behind her was… A man? Arushi said hi, but my eyes remained fixed on the man in front of me, who also looked taken aback upon seeing me.

Who was he? Where was Khushi? Pulling myself together, I got to my feet and put my hand out to the man.

 

“Hi, I’m Ar…”

”Arnav Singh Raizada.”

 

As he walked towards me, he shook his head, pulled himself together and came and shook my hand.

 

“I’m Raj Singhania, Arushi’s father.”

 

Arushi’s father? But I thought Arushi didn’t have a dad? What on earth? What was happening?

 

“Please take a seat.”

 

Raj sat down opposite me, while Arushi went to the back of the classroom and started playing with the little toys that I’d left out.

 

“I didn’t realise you teach Mr Raizada.”

“I don’t. My friend owns the school so I’m just doing him a favour. This is my last couple of days.”

“Oh I see. Well seeing as I’ve had the pleasure to meet you, I’d just like to say that I’m a huge fan of your work and your business. I’ve been following the performance of your business very carefully.”

”Thanks. But we can discuss that later, let’s talk about Arushi.”

 

I still didn’t understand what was going on. Who this guy actually was. Nothing was making sense, but for now, I needed to do my job.
So I opened up my file and I started talking through all the notes that I’d made on Arushi over the past couple of months.

 

“So all in all, you have a very talented child and she’s a pleasure to work with.”

 

Looking up from her toys, Arushi smiled at me and then looked away again.

Now that I’d actually thought about it, her resemblance with Khushi was striking. She had to be my Khushi’s daughter. And she had to be my daughter. I was sure if it.

As the meeting neared it end, I realised that I needed to ask Raj more otherwise I’d never be able to rest in peace.

 

“I’m sorry if this is intrusive, but when I was looking at the records of children when inviting parents, I didn’t realise that Arushi had a father. I mean, you’re not listed as her father. I was under the impression her dad wasn’t in the picture?”

 

I don’t think Raj expected me to ask this because he looked slightly taken aback. But I knew I had to ask him. Given everything that I had learnt, I didn’t understand how he fit into the equation.

 

“I… I’m not really her dad.”

”What do you mean?”

 

I watched as he turned to Arushi who was in her own little world before he turned back to me. Letting out a little sigh, I watched as he recomposed himself.

 

“Arushi and her mother are paying guests at my house. They live with me and my mother, have done for over 6 years now. Well her mother has been with us for over six years, Arushi came into the picture afterwards.

A couple of years ago, Arushi got teased by the children in school about how she didn’t have a dad. So I guess you can say I stepped up for the role. But she knows I’m not actually her dad so it’s okay.”

 

If my suspicions were correct about Arushi being mine and Khushi’s child, then that means Arushi suffered a whole lot because I wasn’t around. But in my defence, I didn’t even know she existed.

 

“Where is Arushi’s father?”

 

Raj hesitated. Did he know who Arushi’s father was? Did he know that I was her dad?

 

“He… He doesn’t live around here.”

 

Looking at his watch, Raj got to his feet.

 

“I’m sorry to call out meeting short but I need to get going.”

 

He was escaping. My questions were making him uncomfortable and that further solidified my suspicions. I was damn sure Arushi was my Khushi’s child. Mine and Khushi’s child. She had to be. Answer Raj knew Arushi was mine.

I needed to find Khushi and I needed to find her soon. If this really was my Khushi and if Arushi really was my daughter, it means I’ve missed out on years with her and I need to fix things to make up for lost time. I needed to find Khushi.

 

I needed to.

Jalebi ~ Part 28

As days pass, it became abundantly clear that Arnav was struggling to come to terms with the events that had taken place. By 5pm every day, Arnav is completely drunk. Anjali had thrown out all the alcohol in the house, but despite that, he still managed to get drunk.

 

“Anjali bitya, what are we to do? Chote can’t carry on like this. He was hurting so at first I didn’t say anything despite being completely against his actions. But now. This is too much.”

“I know Nani. I’m trying, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you been able to get through to Khushi?”

“No. But I know Payal has been talking to her.”

 

Nani nodded and then sat down. She was stressed. Seeing her grandson like this was really hurting her. Arnav was always so strong, so kept together. And now all of a sudden he was a complete and utter mess and there seemed to be no way to help him.

 

*****

 

“But Khushi…”

“Jiji please. How about you come round and meet Rohan? He’s really nice, I’m sure you’ll really like him.”

“Khushi, I told you Akash doesn’t want me to contact you. He’s holding you responsible for Bhai being such a mess.”

 

Gritting her teeth, Khushi stopped herself from telling Payal that Akash was the cause of the condition Arnav was in, not her.

 

“There’s nothing I can do jiji. I’ve moved on and he will too. Any way, I have to go now.”

 

Before Payal could say anything more, Khushi put the phone down. She didn’t want to speak about Arnav any more or hear how much he was struggling. She had received a number of calls from the Raizada household and a tonne of messages from Anjali. She understood their concern for Arnav, but at the same time there really wasn’t much she could do. She’d made her bed and now she had to lie in it. It was hurting her, knowing Arnav was a mess and that’s she was the cause of his state, but she just couldn’t bring herself to face him.

Sitting down on the edge of her bed, Khushi scrolled through her camera roll and found a picture of Arnav. It was one she had taken of him while he was asleep in bed. His hair was over his eyes and his bare chest was on show. Looking at the picture, it hurt Khushi’s heart as she realised just how much she actually missed him. How she wanted to lie beside him again, to be able to push his hair out of his eyes and cuddle into his chest. But she couldn’t. That phase of their life was over and she was trying to move on with Rohan.

Locking the screen of her phone, Khushi put it down and got to her feet before turning to fix the bed. As she leaned down to fix the pillow, a strong pair of arms came to hold her, their body pressed against hers.

 

“Hi.”

“Rohan let me go please.”

“Nope…”

 

Pushing her hair over to one shoulder, Rohan pushed Khushi’s kameez off her shoulder and attempted to kiss her exposed skin.

 

“No!”

 

Moving out of his grip, Khushi fixed her clothes and moved away from him.

 

“I can’t… I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“We’re getting married soon, we don’t need to worry.”

“It’s not that. I just can’t do this… With you… I…”

 

Clenching his jaw shut, Rohan looked to Khushi. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes said it all. He wasn’t impressed.

 

“Right. Okay. Whatever. I just came to tell you I’m going out of town for a few days. I need to get some work related stuff sorted. I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me, but I think it’d be better if you stayed here and tried to get your head sorted.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m being patient with you Khushi, you know I am, but you’re starting to test my limits. I get that you’re not ready to get intimate with me, but I need you to at least start trying to accept me.”

“I am… I will…”

 

Grabbing his things, Rohan said goodbye to Khushi and then left her room. Sitting down, Khushi realised that she really needed to find closure, if she didn’t, she’d never be able to move forward. She realised with Rohan out of town, now was probably the best time to get anything done.

 

*****

 

“Sir, do you know where the file is?”

“If I knew where it was, I wouldn’t be asking you! Find that god damn file! I have a meeting with the Mehta’s in less than an hour.”

“Maybe you should ask ASR…”

“I am ASR.”

“I mean Arnav sir…”

“No. I can do this myself. I don’t need his help.”

 

Akash dismissed Aman who shook his head and walked away. Ever since Akash had taken over, the whole company was a shambles. Even though all the employees were slightly scared of Arnav, at least they knew that he was fair and that if he got angry, there was a reason behind it. But Akash… If was unable to do something, he’d take it out on everyone else. And he never was able to do anything. If Arnav was a natural born charismatic businessman, then Akash was the complete opposite. He couldn’t lead a business when he didn’t even have business knowledge. No matter what his qualification stated, his business’s acumen was zeeo and he couldn’t control his temper at all.

Aman had never minded having Arnav as a boss, but right now, he prayed for Arnav to return so they wouldn’t have to deal with Akash any more.

Akash was struggling. Nothing was going right for him. Since his time here as the owner, he had failed to close any deals successfully and he was constantly messing up at meetings because he seemed to always have the wrong files on him.

He had never struggled this much when he was working alongside Arnav but now, nothing was going right. But he wasn’t going to admit defeat and go to Arnav. He would manage this. How hard could it be to manage two businesses that were fully equipped with more than capable staff. If Arnav and Khushi were able to do it, then surely he would be able to do it too.

 

*****

 

Arnav was sat by his bar, drinking his sorrows away. Nani walked in and wrinkled up her nose. Arnav was just attempting to reach out for the bottle and was about to pour himself another glass when Nani stopped him.

 

“Enough is enough Chote. This isn’t you! You aren’t a drunk. You need to start coming to terms with what had happened in your life and you need to start working through your issues.”

“I’ve tried Nani, but I can’t get anything sorted and I can’t make things right. I’ve failed Khushi and I’ve failed myself.”

“Chote you can’t blame yourself.”

“Oh I don’t. I mean I do, but I blame my brother too. How did I ever trust that scum?”

 

Devyani Raizada looked at her drunk grandson, her eyes wide. What was he saying?

 

“Chote, what do you mean?”

“I mean, I didn’t steal Khushi’s business, Akash did. He took advantage of the fact we were both distracted from the night before and used that against us. I trusted him despite knowing he had bad intentions and now I’m suffering while he’s living the life.”

 

Devyani knew that she should be angry at Arnav. She didn’t miss what he meant when he said they were distracted from the night before. And she knew exactly what he was insinuating happened between him and Khushi the night before. But she wasn’t angry. If anything it hurt her more because she realised that Arnav’s feelings for Khushi were very much real, otherwise he would never have slept with her. He knew what their families rules were and he wouldn’t go against his Nani for the sake of any old woman.

But more than that, she was concerned about what Arnav was saying about Akash.

 

“Chote, are you sure about what you are saying about Akash?”

”It’s the only thing I’m sure about any more. He went against my wishes, stole my girlfriends business and ruined my relationship with the woman I worked so hard to win over.”

“Arnav, I will sort this. I’ll sort it all for you, but you need to stop drinking.”

”There’s nothing that can be done Nani. To give Khushi her business back, Akash needs to sign off the papers and he’ll never do that. And even if he did, she’s getting married to someone else. My life is destroyed.”

”We will sort this Chote. Just please stop drinking.”

 

Arnav looked into his nani’s eyes. It was evident that his behaviour was hurting her and he couldn’t bare to see that hurt in her eyes. He put down his glass and pushed it aside.

 

“I’ll try Nani. Only for you.”

 

Thanking Arnav, Nani turned around. She needed to go and speak to Anjali. If there was any kind of funny business going in, Anjali would know. Arnav wouldn’t be able to hide anything from his Di.

 

*****

 

Slumped over on the Anjali’s bed, Devyani couldn’t believe what she was being told. How could one brother do that to another brother?

 

“Anjali bitya, we need to get this sorted.”

“But what can we do Nani. Akash won’t hand the business back over and Khushi is about to take Chote back.”

“We need to talk to Mamorama and Mahendar”

“I don’t know Nani… Chote wouldn’t want to cause problems within the family.”

“I know he wouldn’t, but this needs to get sorted. Chote is a mess and I’m worried… I’m worried that if he can’t pull out of this, he’ll do something stupid.”

“He wouldn’t do that Nani.”

”At this moment I don’t know what he’d do. He’s hurting so much.”

“Maybe if you spoke to Khushi…”

”I’ve called her as you have, but she isn’t taking our calls. No Anjali, I think we need to sort our house first before trying to contact Khushi.”

 

Getting to her feet, Nani walked out of Anjali room and made her way over to mama and Mami’s room. Anjali knew this probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but maybe Nani was right, maybe this was the only thing left to do. Getting to her feet, Anjali went after Nani, but made sure she stopped by Arnav’s bedroom first. His door was open and so Anjali could see him lying on his bed, facing the ceiling.

She’d never imagined her brother would fall in love to this extent. But then she never expected her other brother to stoop to such an extent. Sighing, Anjali left Arnav and made her way over to mama and Mami’s room to find Nani already there, speaking to them.

As Devyani and Anjali explained what was happening, the colour fell from both Manorama and Mahender’s faces.

 

“Sasuma… Are you sure? Our Akash bitwa… But he never goes against anything Arnav bitwa says. Why would he do something like this?”

“That’s what I don’t understand Manorama. If Akash wanted a share of the business or if he wanted more responsibility, then Chote would have given it to him, but why… I don’t understand.”

“Anjali bitya, you tell us, Arnav bitwa tells you everything.”

 

Explaining everything she knew, Anjali talked them through everything Arnav had told her. Both Akash’s parents were in disbelief, but they didn’t disbelieve what was happening. They had senses the tension between the two brothers and seeing how Arnav had been, all the stories fit together.

Manorama turned to her husband.

 

“Call Akash home now! We are going to sort this.”

 

As Akash’s father dialled his sons number, Anjali turned and found a pale looking Payal stood at the door.

 

“Payal…”

”He… He’s the reason…”

“We didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“He’s caused this? My sister’s life is a shambles because of…”.

 

Payal felt her world come crashing down around her as she turned away. How could Akash do that? How could he do that to Khushi? How could he do that to Payal!? Did he not for a moment think that he was hurting her if he hurt her sister? How could he?

 

*****

 

“Okay yes! I am responsible for everything that’s been happening between Arnav and Khushi and with the changing ownership of the business, but I had a good reason for it.”

“What reason could you possibly have for cheating your brother like that and ruining his life? Akash, have you seen Arnav bitwa recently? Have you seen the state he’s in? If you wanted more share of the business or more responsibility, why didn’t you just ask him? Why…”

”Ma please. I did what I needed to do to protect myself and secure myself a future.”

 

Anjali and Nani remained quiet as they watched the face off between Akash and his parents. Admittedly, they had been worried that Manorama would react badly, that should would side with her son and refuse to believe what was going on. But if Manorama loved her son, she loved her nephew equally.

 

“Akash bitwa, he’s your own brother!”

“He’s not my own brother! He’s my cousin! Everyone acts like…”

“Don’t! Don’t you dare say anything against my Arnav bitwa. He has always loved you like a brother, always cared for you. He would do anything for you.”

 

Turning away from his mother, Akash was fuming. How dare his own parents tell him he was making the wrong decisions and that his actions were wrong? Shouldn’t they be telling him that he did a good job, he secured their family a stable future?

Turning to leave the room, Akash saw his wife standing in the doorway and she looked livid.

 

“Payal…”

 

Walking towards her, Akash stretched his hand out, urging her to take it. She didn’t. Coming up to her, Akash stood before Payal, waiting for her to say something. Remaining unmoving for a moment, Payal thought about everything she’d learnt that day. Pulling her hand back, she slapped Akash across the face, hard.

Everyone in the room gasped as they took the seething Payal in.

 

“Payal…”

“How could you? How could you do that to my sister? You may not accept bhai as your own brother and may not care for what you do to him, but Khushi is my sister and I love her! Did you not think…”

“I did it for us! So we’d have a better future!”

“Right. So for our happy future, you destroyed my sister’s life?”

“She seems fine to me, she’s getting married…”

“Are you stupid? You know as well as I do that it took Khushi so long to accept her feelings for bhai, to give their relationship a go. It took her so long to admit that she loved him, she was ready to spend her life with him and you… You took that happiness away from her.”

“Again, she seems fine, she’s getting married…”

”She’s only doing that because she’s trying to run away from all this! She’s never been good at dealing with her problems and this… I can’t believe you…”

 

Shaking her head in disgust, Payal realised that there was no point arguing or trying to explain anything to Akash. Entering the room, she approached both Nani and Manorama.

 

“Dadiji, ma ji, I would like to go home for a couple of days.”

 

Akash turned around to protest, but he saw his mother and grandmother had already given her permission to go. Turning away, Payal left the room, throwing one angry glance at Akash before she left.

Did he do the wrong thing? Had he made a mess? Why was everyone so angry when all he was trying to do was make a future for himself?

 

Unwanted ~ Part 31

Khushi

“Mama mama! Can you make special jalebis for my Mr Raichanda?”

”Your special jalebis?”

“Haan mama! It was Sir’s birthday today. And did you know, he got sugar ki bimaari too like me!”

 

I looked at Arushi, and I’m pretty sure that my eyes were bulging out of my head. Her Mr Raichanda has the same birthday as Arnav? Is diabetic like Arnav? Even his name… Could it be…

No no, of course not. It’s not possible. It’s just a coincidence. That’s it. Purely coincidental.

 

“I’ll make jalebis for your teacher and you can take them tomorrow.”

“Yay! Thank you mama.”

 

Placing a quick kiss on my cheek, Arushi rushed away. Something about all this was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Everything about this man made me think about Arnav but it couldn’t be. Of course it couldn’t be. I was just overthinking, worrying for no reason.

 

*****

 

Have you ever realised how quickly the weekend comes round? Some weeks it feels like the week doesn’t end, whereas other times, Saturday seems to come round so quickly.

It was Saturday today, and me, Raj and Arushi had come to the mall. I needed to pick some bits up for myself and Arushi and Raj decided to tag along with us.

 

“Mama! I just remembered! I forgot to tell you that my teacher said that the jalebis were the best jalebis he’s eaten in a long time and that you make them exactly like his wife makes them.”

“Oh that’s good, that means he liked them?”

“He said he loved them!”

 

Hearing this made me feel some kind of relief. Since hearing about Mr Raichanda being a diabetic who shared the same birthday as Arnav, I had been worried about the what ifs. But hearing that this man was married and his wife made him good jalebis put me at ease. I mean, I know Arnav is married to Nimisha, but she never struck me as the type to make jalebis like me. So it couldn’t be Arnav. Surely not.

Turning my attention back to my daughter, I watched as she tugged at Raj’s arm because she saw a large bear walking around. It was one of those, where there was someone inside a bear costume, trying to promote something. But Arushi was still to young to realise that there was a normal person inside.

 

“No Arushi, we need to get you new shoes.”

”PLEASE mama!”

 

She looked up at me with big eyes. But I was immune to her big eyes. Raj however was not.

 

“I’ll take her to see the bear. You go and pick anything you need and we’ll meet you at the shoe shop in 20 minutes.”

 

Jumping, Arushi hugged Raj’s leg before taking his had again and dragging him towards the bear. I looked around myself and decided that maybe I should go and get myself a coffee while I waited for them.

Walking over to the little cafe, I ordered myself a coffee and took it to a little table by the window.
There used to be a time when I hated coffee. I used to make a coffee for Arnav every morning and he would force me to take a sip and I never would. Then one day, I actually did take a sip and I positively hated it.

But since coming here, I found myself drinking more and more coffee. I still wasn’t on Arnav’s level of coffee drinker, but I didn’t mind it either.

Taking my phone out of my bag, I scrolled though my messages, replied to a couple and then put my phone back. Picking up my coffee, I took a little sip and looked out of the window and then looked away again.

 

Wait a minute…

 

Eyes wide, I looked back out of the window again and there… There he was.

Blinking twice and rubbing my eyes, I needed to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating and I wasn’t.

There, stood just across from the coffee shop was Arnav. I should turn away, make sure he didn’t see me, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. There he was. Rubbing my eyes one more time, I needed to make sure that he was actually real. Closing my eyes and opening them again, he was still there. He was real.

I felt frozen, stuck. I didn’t know what to do. Quickly turning away, I needed to get out of here and fast. Arnav couldn’t find me. I remained sat in my seat and when I looked out the window again, he was gone.

What… How? Did he know that I…

Taking my phone back out, I called Raj.

 

“Khushi?”

“Raj, I’m going to the car, come quickly. We need to leave.”

“But Arushi’s shoes…”

“Please. I need to go home now.”

“Khushi…”

“Please Raj! Just bring her and let’s go!”

 

I disconnected the call before he could say anything more and left the coffee shop. I looked over my shoulder at least a million times as I made my way back to the car. Arnav wasn’t following me and I don’t think he saw me.

Once I got to the car, I tried to stay hidden behind it, just in case Arnav did turn up, but he didn’t.

What was he doing here? How was he here? Arnav didn’t have any business in Mumbai? I mean he had his branch of AR, but he never really came down here. If anything needed to be done, he’d send Akash or mama ji. He never actually came to Mumbai himself. So why now? Did he somehow find out that I was here?

Hitting the side of my head lightly, I pushed that thought away. He wasn’t here because of me. He’s moved on with his life. He’s married to Nimisha. He wasn’t here for me. He must be here due to his own personal work. But regardless, I needed to lie low. I didn’t want to have to bump into Arnav randomly. I couldn’t deal with that.

It took me a while, but I remembered that day when Raj had seen in the paper that Arnav was in town due to business. I had forgotten all about that. So that’s why he was here. He must still be in down due to work regarding AR. That made me feel a little bit of peace. It means that he didn’t know that I was here and that he wasn’t here for me. Suddenly, I felt like I could breathe again.

A little time passed but not a lot when Raj and Arushi finally joined me. Unlocking the car, Raj strapped Arushi into her seat before coming over to me. I got into the car quickly and he came over to my door.

 

“Khushi, is everything…”

”Please just get into the car. I’ll explain everything when we get home. But now we need to get out of here.”

 

Raj looked at me like I was slightly crazy and I couldn’t help but feel slight crazy. He took a long hard look at me before finally shutting the door and coming back over to his side of the car. Sliding into his seat, he got ready and soon we were off. As we drove home, I felt myself calm down a little, but not a lot. Arnav was here. He is here! I saw him! He was right in front of me.

Leaning back in my seat, I rested my head against the headrest and shut my eyes.

He looked pretty much the same as he did all those years ago. Only his stubble was no longer stubble, he had a full beard. His hair was a little longer than how he liked it six years ago, but other than that he looked exactly the same.
It didn’t seem as though he had gained much weight, nor did it seem as though he had lost any weight.

Six years had passed, over six years, but he hadn’t aged at all. He still looks pretty much exactly the same. I wonder what he would think if he saw me. Would he think I’ve changed?

Seeing him again, it’s cooked up all kinds of feelings within me. I feel good, seeing him again after all these years, but at the same time, it also feels bittersweet.

Bittersweet because even though I saw him, I couldn’t speak to him, couldn’t hold him close, couldn’t touch him…

 

*****

 

The moment we got home, Raj sent Arushi off to find Veera mausi. He made sure that she was well and truly out of the room before turning his attention back to me.

He walked over to where I was standing and placed a hand on my shoulder. This makes me pay full attention to him. Taking me by the hand, he led me over to the sofa and got me to sit down and then he sat down beside me.

 

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“I…”

 

Taking a deep breath, I replayed what had happened in my head and then started to explain to Raj.

 

“I saw Arnav.”

“You did? Did he see you?”

”No. No he didn’t.”

“Then why did…”

”I panicked. It was afterwards that I remembered that you had already told me that he was here. When I saw him… I just froze. I thought maybe he had found me and I guess I got a bit scared. But then, when I was able to calm down, I thought about it properly and I realised I didn’t need to panic. I’m sorry Raj. I realise that I must have really got you worried as well.”

 

Placing a hand on my knee, he gave me a small smile before removing his hand again.

 

“It’s okay. I understand why you reacted the way you did. It must have been really weird to see him again after all these years. I can understand why you got so scared. But Khushi… Maybe you should try to reach out to him?”

 

Looking up, I could feel myself become tense again.

 

“Why would you say that?”

“I just think that maybe you should. Before we were speaking hypothetically, but now… Knowing he’s here, actually having seen him, I think maybe you should actually speak to him.”

”But what would I even talk to him about? Besides I don’t want to cause any trouble. He looked well. I’m going to assume he is doing well in life. I don’t want to re-enter his life and cause problems.”

 

Sighing, Raj got to his feet.

 

“I’m not going to argue with you, but I think maybe you should. Think about it.”

 

With that Raj left. I remained seated and I thought about what he had said. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t speak to Arnav. What would I say to him? I don’t even know how he feels about me. Would he mad at me that I left him, or would he react indifferently?

I needed to get my head straight. I needed to get everything I was feeling down. I needed to write a letter to jiji.

 

*****

 

“Dear my pyaari Jiji,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and I hope you’re really happy. It was about time I wrote you another letter any way, but I’m writing this letter to you as a way of trying to clear my own head.

I was out today, and I thought I saw Arnav at the mall. I know, crazy right? At first I thought maybe I was hallucinating, maybe because I’ve been missing him so much that I had started seeing him. But after I paid close attention, I realised that he really was there.

Now I would love to say that I handled the matter well, but I really didn’t. I hid and then I ran away, hoping that he didn’t see me.

I was out with my friend, the one who’s house I am staying at as a paying guest. I told him that I saw Arnav and I saw how I reacted. He thinks that I should try and reach out to him, maybe speak to him, but jiji, I really don’t know what to do.

You know how I feel about him, you know I still care for him. But I don’t know how he feels about me. What if I do try to speak to him and he completely shuts me out? What if he really has moved on with life and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me? I’m scared jiji. Part of me wants to speak to him, but at the same time, I’m scared that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Being away from him hurts in one way, but to be rejected by him would hurt even more I think. I can’t just drop into his life again. I can’t, can I?

I honestly don’t know what to do. I just feel like too much time has passed and that I’ve left it all too late. Maybe if all this had happened a couple of years ago, then maybe I would have approached him, maybe I would have tried to speak to him. But now… After over six years, I don’t think I can do that to him.

I don’t know what to do.

I hope you are well jiji and I hope everyone at home is well too. I miss you all so much and I really do wish I could come to visit. Maybe I will do. I don’t know. But for now, please know that I think about you all all the time and that I miss you more than anyone else.

Also, please don’t tell Arnav about this letter. Please don’t tell him that I saw him. Don’t alert him that we are in the same place. I don’t want him to find me. Please jiji, please, don’t tell him.

Love you lots and lots,
Always thinking of you.
Yours, Khushi.”

 

Signing off my letter, I read it back to make sure that it was perfect and then took an envelope out of my desk along with a stamp. I would send this off first thing on Monday and jiji should get it by Wednesday. I was unsure about whether or not to actually mention that I saw him, just in case she alerted him, but this was my jiji. She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t say anything to him.

 

*****

A few days had passed since I had sent the letter off to jiji. Maybe she would have received it by now. I wish I had given her a number so that I could talk to her, but I knew that was dangerous. With a number they would have a direct link to track me down. At least with a letter, even now that I had made it clear that me and Arnav were in the same city, it would still be hard to find me even if anyone tried. There are a crazy amount of people in Mumbai and it’s also a huge city. It would take ages for them to find me. Plus I know for a fact that I am not the only Khushi here. So even if they tried to locate me using my name, it would take a long time.

When I arrived in Mumbai, I had decided to drop both my maiden and my married name. So here, I wasn’t Khushi Kumari Gupta, or Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. Here I was just Khushi Singhania. Singhania is Raj and Veera mausi’s surname and I had asked them before using it. They didn’t mind. So if any of my family did try to find me, they’d have to go through all the Khushi’s to find me. I had done the same with Arushi. I hadn’t given her my maiden name or Arnav’s name. She was Arushi Signhania. Initially, I had thought of naming her Arushi Singh Raizada, but then I realised that her name would draw too much attention to her. To have the Raizada name, someone would have alerted the Raizada’s and they would have found us.

With all the bases covered, I believe that we are relatively safe. There’s no way Arnav would be able to find us even if he did know we were here. We were safe. He wouldn’t be able to find us…

Jalebi ~ Part 27

By the time Arnav arrived home, he was a wreck. His eyes were bloodshot and he was in a foul mood. The moment he stepped through the door, Anjali came rushing over to him.

 

“Chote! Where on earth have you been? You went out hours ago, saying you just needed to pick up a new laptop charger and there’s been no news from you since. Do you know how many times I’ve called you? Do you know how worried I was?”

 

Arnav listened to everything his sister had to say, not entirely taking in a word she was saying. Anjali realised that Arnav’s attention was somewhere else. Taking a good look at him, she saw his red, puffy eyes.

Taking his arm, Anjali led Arnav into the living room, sat him down on the sofa and then sat down beside him.

 

“Chote, what’s the matter?”

 

Arnav remained stoic for a moment before responding by laying down on the sofa, his head on his sisters lap and his arms around her.

 

“My life is over Di”.

 

Completely breaking down, Anjali looked down at Arnav completely alarmed. She couldn’t remember the last time her brother broke down in this manner. Arnav usually always hid his emotions from her, tried to be tough for her, but right now…

Anjali stroked his hair as he cried. Nani came outside, hearing the commotion followed by Shyam and Manorama.

 

Mami came over to Arnav and sat on the sofa by his feet, her hand on his back.

 

“Arnav bitwa, what happens?”

 

Calming down slightly, Arnav wiped his eyes and sat up.

 

“I saw Khushi…”

 

The Raizada women and Shyam all looked between each other, not entirely sure how they should proceed with the conversation.

 

“Kya? Khushi’s back? Did you speak to her? What did she say? Chote, did she say anything to you?”

 

Shaking his head, Arnav looked at his Di and took her hands in his own.

 

“She’s engaged.”

 

Mami gasped as did Anjali. Nani turned to Shyam, her eyes wide as she realised what was happening here.

 

“She’s engaged? But how Saale Saab? Only a few weeks ago you and her were talking about marriage. How in this short time has she managed to go and get herself engaged?”

“She’s engaged to her childhood friend jijaji. The man her parents had initially picked for her. I met him when we went to London and you don’t understand how smug he was. I want to kill him!”

 

Anger irrupted within Arnav. How could she actually do that to him? How could she move on just like that? Did their relationship really mean that little to her? Turning back to his sister, Anjali could see the anger in his eyes.

 

“Did she not tell you as well Di that she wanted to spend her life with me? Then how could she do this? She says I’ve deceived her, but what has she done? She promised herself to me and now she’s with another man. How could she do that to me?”

 

Getting to his feet, Arnav stormed off towards his bedroom. The Raizada’s all looked between each other, unsure of how they needed to deal with this issue.

 

“Maybe I should go and speak to Khushi. Tell her that whatever happened wasn’t down to Chote.”

”She won’t believe you Rani Sahiba. I’m sure Saale Saab would have tried his best to make her listen to him. But she like him is also hard headed. I don’t think any of us getting involved will have any benefit.”

“But Chote… He’s so broken. We have to do something before he does something stupid. I’ve never seen him this upset, or this angry.”

”I think we just need to give him some time to cool down and come to terms with everything.”

“He’s never loved anyone the way he loves Khushi and I don’t think he’ll ever love anyone else as much as he loves her. I don’t think he’ll ever fully come to terms with what has happened…”

 

*****

 

Pacing his bedroom, Arnav tried to come up with a plan. He needed to do something. Anything! He couldn’t just sit and wait for her to go and get married to someone else. He needed to fight for her. But his options were limited and he didn’t know what to do. He had thought that by telling her the truth about Akash, she would maybe reconsider, but she hadn’t. There had to be something! Running his hand through his hair, Arnav yanked the ends of his hair in frustration. Why was this happening!?

 

*****

 

Dinner was served and ready. The Raizada family all sat around waiting for Arnav to come down before they could start eating. Hari Prakash emerged from Arnav’s bedroom and made his way down to the dining room.

 

“Arnav Bhaiya has said that he doesn’t want to eat now, you all should continue.”

“Has Chote had something to eat at least? If he doesn’t eat he’s going to fall ill?”

“I took him some coffee and some toast a little while ago.”

”Okay. Leave him gor now, I’ll take some food to him later.”

 

Leaving the dining area, Anjali turned to her husband and sighed.

 

“Shyam ji, we have to do something, I can’t see Chote like this.”

 

Akash, who had been absent when Arnav had returned home, looked up from his food.

 

“What happened to bhai now?”

 

Turning her attention to Akash, Anjali couldn’t believe that Akash was asking this question. After all, he was the main reason why Arnav was in this condition. She wanted to say something, make it known to the family that Akash was the cause of Arnav’s plight, but she stopped herself. Her Chote didn’t want the family to know about Akash and she was going to respect his wishes.

 

“Chote saw Khushi earlier and it didn’t go well.”

 

Looking up from her food, Payal’s eyes widened.

 

“Khushi’s back?”

”Yes. Chote didn’t say when she returned, but yes she’s back and she’s engaged. Did you know about that?”

”What? She’s engaged? To who? How could she get engaged and not tell me about it?”

 

Anjali felt sorry for Payal, she looked genuinely hurt and stressed about the fact that Khushi was engaged to someone and she didn’t know about it. Telling Payal everything Arnav had told her, Anjali watched as her expression fell.

 

“I can’t believe… But she loves Arnav ji so much. I can’t believe she… Why would she do this to herself?”

“I don’t know Payal. I really don’t know.”

”Di, do you think I should talk to her? Explain to her about bhai’s condition? If she knows how much he is hurting, surely she’d…”

 

Intervening, Akash looked up from his food and stopped Payal in her tracks.

 

“Don’t you dare! You are not to say anything to Khushi. She’s made her decision and it seems as though she is sticking to it. If she cared for bhai at all, she never would have gotten engaged to someone else in the first place. If she’s can do that’s to bhai, she doesn’t deserve him. Besides, with which right do you want to go and talk to her? The both of you shared everything and she didn’t even tell you about her engagement, that should tell you how she sees you. You are to say nothing to her Payal, I forbid it.”

 

Payal looked slightly taken aback. Akash had never spoken to her like that and she didn’t understand why he was speaking like that now.

 

Anjali watched Payal and Akash’s exchange closely and her heart went out for Payal who looked hurt and confused. On one hand she’d just found out that her cousin had made a huge decision regarding what she was going to do with her life without telling her, and on the other hand, her husband was giving her a hard time.

 

“Why are you being like this? She’s my sister and despite her decision not to tell me, I still love her. I’m sorry Akash, but I can’t just turn my back to her, I know she’s going through a hard time too.”

“Payal Bitya is absolutely correct. Khushi is hurting too and she can’t just get upset with her and turn her back from her. Payal, I think you should calm Khushi and see what she has to say.”

 

“Ji Dadiji.”

 

Leaving the table, Payal went upstairs to make her call. Akash remained at the table, his hands fidgeting under the table. What if Arnav had told Khushi that he was the one who had caused the hand over of the business? What if Khushi told Payal? It could cause problems in their relationship. But seeing how Dadi had spoken, he didn’t think he would be able to stop Payal. He just had to hope for the best that Arnav hadn’t told Khushi anything.

 

*****

 

Both Arnav’s bedroom and the study were a mess. Papers had been thrown across both rooms, a couple of vases had been broken… Arnav had been through the papers over and over and over again to the point where he had almost memories the whole file. There was nothing in there that was going to help him give Khushi her business back without involving Akash.

Arnav was now sat in their little bar, with a glass of vodka. Anjali had followed the trail of mess and saw her brother downing the glass of alcohol in one go.

 

“Chote! What are you doing?”

 

Turning around, he saw Anjali walk in, her eyes wide with shock.

 

“I’m drinking Di. What does it look like?”

“But you don’t drink like this. Chote come on, stop.”

 

Taking the bottle of vodka away from Arnav, Anjali took her brothers face in. He looked tired and angry and confused and broken.

 

“You can’t do this to yourself Chote.”

“What’s the point Di? What am I living for right now? My brother who I’ve always loved had taken the one thing I loved most in my life. My business isn’t mine any more and the woman I love… She’s someone else’s. I have nothing Di. Just this bottle of vodka.”

 

He made to take the bottle from Anjali but she had it away from him.

 

“Chote, I know your hurting, but this behaviour needs to stop right now. We will find a way to get this sorted…”

“But I won’t get Khushi back.”

 

It was evident that he was really struggling to deal with what was happening to him. Anjali felt broken herself. She didn’t know how to help her brother.

 

“You know Di, back in high school, I never really noticed her. But when I saw her at the reunion last year, I was completely blown away by her. And then I started to get to know her and I started to fall in love with her. It took me ages and ages to make her accept my feelings and give our relationship and chance but… It was all for nothing.”

 

Resting his head against the bar, Anjali pat her brother on the shoulder. She didn’t know how to comfort him, didn’t know what the right thing was to say. As much as she felt her brothers pain, she did understand what was going through Khushi’s head. She’d taken a chance on Arnav and subsequently had lost everything she had ever worked for. As much as Anjali wanted to go and talk to her, to try and get her to reconsider, she knew that Khushi’s feelings right now and the way she was behaving, were completely justified.

 

“Chote, go to bed. It’s been a long day for you.”

 

Nodding, Arnav got to his feet, stumbling slightly as he got up. Anjali took hold of his arm and he held onto her for dear life as she guided him towards his bedroom.

Upon arriving at his room, Arnav crashed onto his bed the moment he saw it. Moments later he was fast asleep. Taking his shoes off and tucking his in, Anjali looked at her brother who was completely exhausted and completely heart broken. She needed to do something to help his sort all this, but what and how? How could she get Khushi to reconsider, especially now when she was engaged to someone else. Making sure Arnav was asleep, Anjali backed out of his bedroom and made her way towards Payal’s.

Knocking on Payal’s door, she waited to be let inside.

 

“Come in.”

 

Pushing the door open, Anjali saw Payal quickly wipe her tears away and she sat up a little straighter on the edge of the bed.

 

“Di? Did you need something?”

”Were you able to get hold of Khushi?”

 

Anjali watched as Payal’s shoulders slumped slightly but she nodded.

 

“She didn’t say much, but she’s invited me round to her apartment so that I can meet Rohan. Di, this isn’t right! Nothing about any of this feels right. We need to do something! Khushi can’t marry Rohan, I know her, her heart belong to and with Bhai. If we don’t do something, she’ll go on to making the biggest mistake of her life.”

”I know Payal, but I don’t know what we can do.”

“Anything Di. We can do anything but we need to do it soon. I’m worried Khushi is going to speed up the wedding process now that she knows we all know. I know what she thinks like, she’s going to try to run further away.”

 

Sitting down beside Payal, Anjali took Payal’s hand into her own.

 

“We’re going to sort this mess, and we’re going to get Khushi back for Chote. I can’t see my brother like this.”

 

Anjali felt a new power within her. Akash had messed with her Chote’s life and had ruined everything for him. But she wasn’t going to let him win. She was going to get Khushi her business back and Khushi back for Arnav, even if it was the last thing she ever did.

Unwanted ~ Part 30

 

Arnav

 

Happy birthday to me! I’ve reached the grand old age of 33 and don’t have a lot to show for myself. I mean obviously I have my business empire, but other than that, not a lot. I don’t know where my wife is and my life hasn’t really progressed much in the last six years.

But for the first time in six years, I’m actually looking forward to my birthday. I get to spend the day around a group of young people who I have gotten very attached to. In order to celebrate, I have brought some chocolates to share with the kids.

It’s going to be a good day, I could tell.

 

*****

 

Just before the children went for their lunch, I decided to distribute the chocolates that I had brought with me.

 

“So it’s my birthday today and I have brought some chocolates for everyone!”

 

There was a slight yelp of joy as I started going round each desk, letting each child pick a chocolate. One by one I went through them all until I reached Arushi. Now unlike all the other kids, she hadn’t been anticipating my arrival with the treats. She was sat at her desk, drawing what looked like dresses.

 

“Here you go Arushi, choose one.”

“No thank you sir.”

“Why not? Don’t you like chocolate?”

“I do, but I’m not allowed to have normal chocolate. I can only eat special chocolate my mama buys me.”

“Why’s that?”

“I have sugar ki bimaari.”

“You’re diabetic?”

 

I could feel my eyes widen as I waited for a response from her. She nodded her little head just as the bell went off, signalling lunchtime.

I dismissed the children once I was sure that another member of staff was outside, ready to take them. I watched Arushi slowly put her things away.

 

“But you eat jalebis?”

“My mama makes me special ones, just for me.”

“I’m diabetic too.”

 

Getting to her feet, she rushed over to the door where her friend was waiting for her. Turning around, she gave me a little wave.

 

“I’ll tell my mama to make some special ones for you too sir.”

 

*****

 

All throughout lunchtime, I couldn’t stop thinking about Arushi and the little revelation that she had made. I should’ve known. As her teacher, I should’ve known that she was diabetic.

But that wasn’t all. There was something else about this matter that was troubling me and I didn’t know what it was and why.

I knew that children could get diabetes, but Arushi was so young? She’s only 5? It wasn’t fair that such a young child should have diabetes. They should be able to enjoy their life, eat as much sugar as they want without having to think anything of it. They shouldn’t have to turn down sweets and chocolates. It wasn’t fair.

 

*****

 

At the end of the day, I watched as all the children got picked up by their parents. Once all my kids were gone, I was ready to go back to my classroom when I saw Arushi still sat on the small wall, waiting.

I made my way over to the wall and sat down on it beside her.

 

“Your mama isn’t here yet?”

“Mama has work so she can’t get me any way. But Priya wasn’t here today so Naina aunty hasn’t come either.”

“So who are you waiting for?”

 

Arushi shrugged her shoulders as she swung her little feet.

 

“Have you always had diabetes Arushi?”

 

She nodded without looking up.

 

“Does your mum have diabetes?”

 

Shaking her head, she looked up at me.

 

“Mama said papa has diabetes. That’s why she knows how to make special jalebis. She used to make it for papa all the time.”

“Oh, I see.”

 

Turning around, she looked back towards the main gate. There were still quite a lot of children around.

 

“Do you want me to call home to make sure that someone is coming to take you?”

“It’s okay. Someone always comes.”

 

We sat in silence for a while.

 

“Do you have any plans of what to do when you go home?”

“No. Play with mama and then dinner and then bed maybe.”

“Do you get a lot of time to play with your mama?”

“Lots and lots of time.”

 

Her face lit up as we spoke about her mother and it was evident that they shared a close relationship. It must be hard for her mother, being a single parent…

 

“Are you going to do anything when you go home sir? On my birthday, mama takes me to the park!”

“When I go home, I’ll probably call my family and then plan next weeks lessons.”

“No cake?”

“I live on my own, so no cake.”

“Do you not have any family?”

 

If this were an adult asking, I would find them to be very rude and intrusive. But Arushi was just a child and she was curious.

 

“I do, but my family live in Delhi. So I can’t see them for my birthday.”

“Oh… Mama says she used to live in Delhi before, a long time ago. My papa too.”

 

So Arushi’s parents lived in Delhi? Could it be possible that I knew her parents? Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. I was being crazy. Delhi was huge and there were tonnes and tonnes of people. The chances of actually knowing her parents were slim to none.

 

“Did I tell you sir, it’s my dad’s birthday today too! Me and mama did pooja for papa’s birthday in the morning.”

“Really? That’s such a coincidence!”

 

So Arushi’s father had the same birthday as me. I wanted to ask if she had spoken to her father, or made him a card to wish him, but I still hadn’t established if Arushi’s parents were separated or if her father was no longer alive. If he wasn’t alive, I didn’t want to upset her by asking if she’d spoke to him.

Something about this child intrigued me and I wanted to know more about her and her family. But how was I to do that?

Looking over her shoulder once more, I saw Arushi’s face light up as she saw a man in the distance.

 

“Arushi!”

 

The man called out and Arushi jumped to her feet, grabbing her bag that was on the floor.

 

“I have to go now sir!”

“Is that someone to pick you up?”

 

She nodded her little head frantically as she ran round the wall and started making her way down the gates. I watched as she ran off. The man looked a similar age to me, maybe slightly shorter than me. I watched as he stopped where he was, a smile on his face as his eyes fixed on the little girl running towards him.

I kept watching, he knelt down slightly as Arushi approached and she threw her little arms around him, and he lifted her up.

Who was this man? I knew Arushi’s dad was out of the picture, but who was this? Whoever it was, it was evident that he and Arushi shared a close bond. They both looked delighted to be together as they made their way down the path and out the school gates.
I had never thought that Arushi may have any other family other than her mother. This man could be her uncle.

Shaking my head, I got off the wall and made my way back tinny classroom. I was getting far too invested…

 

*****

 

When I finally got home that evening, the first thing I did was check my phone for all my messages. There was a whole stack from friends and employees wishing me a happy birthday. And then of course there was a whole lot of messages from my family.

 

Turning FaceTime on, I gave Di a call. She answered on the second ring.

 

“Hi Di.”

“Happy birthday Chote!”

“Thanks Di. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright, you?”

“I’ve been good too. Just keeping myself busy.”

“When are you coming back Chote? We’re all really missing you.”

“I’m missing you guys too. I should be able to start thinking about coming back soon. Veer has been interviewing potential candidates like crazy. But it’s midterm now. So anyone he hires, they won’t be able to start until the new term begins.”

“That’s fine, there’s only a few weeks left.”

 

There was a pause as me and Di just took each other in. They hadn’t been apart for this long in a very long time and Arnav could tell it was unsettling Anjali.

 

“Di, I promise, I’ll be back soon. Or why don’t you come and visit me for a few days?”

“I’d love to. But Shalini has school and I can’t just leave her and come.”

“I understand Di.”

 

Me and Di made small talk. We spoke for a while. For the first time in a long time, me and Di were able to have a long conversation without arguing.

Once we were done, she passed the phone over to Akash and then to Nani and then back to Di.

 

“I was going to pass the phone to Nimisha, but she’s gone out with Pari. Maybe you can call them later, or they’ll call you?”

 

I nodded. I didn’t want to argue with Di by saying that I wasn’t going to call them. Wishing me a happy birthday once more, Di ended the call and I put my phone aside.

My time here really was almost up. There was only about another 2 weeks of the term and then the kids would go on holiday. And when they came back, they would have a new teacher.

As much as I was glad to be almost done, it was also hard. I’d really started enjoying teaching and I’d really grown fond of the kids around me. They’d become a part of my life and I loved seeing how far they’d come in terms of their education since I first starts with them.

When I’d arrived they were learning the letters H, I and J. Now, most of them knew the entire alphabet! We’d come a long way and my journey with them was almost at its ends.
As much as I had achieved a lot, I also didn’t achieve a lot. I had no new information regarding Khushi, no new leads. Nothing. Mumbai was cold. There was no sign of Khushi here. But regardless of the that, my heart told me that I needed to be here, that I was close.

Feelings were telling me to stay, the facts were telling me to move along.

Laying back in my bed, I looked up at the ceiling. If only a sign would just fall from the sky. But of course, nothing came.

Sighing, I got comfortable in bed, letting myself rest. Shutting my eyes, I was ready to take a short nap.

 

Just as I was about to drift off, a thought hit me.

Nimisha and Pari hadn’t called me today.

Now of course, to some this wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but to me, this was something noteworthy.

When I’d first moved here, Nimisha called me constantly. Sometimes with the pretence that she was missing me, other times saying Pari needed to talk to me.

As time went on, she called less and less frequently. But what stood out about today was that it was my birthday. Nimisha would never miss my birthday. Looking at the clock, I realised it was almost 7. The entire day was almost done and Nimi hasn’t called me? In a bit, Pari would go to sleep and wouldn’t be able to speak to me?

That was strange. It seemed out of character. And Di had said they were out. Where could they be at this time of evening?

Call me paranoid but something wasn’t fitting for me. Something was going on. Otherwise Nimisha wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of making a song and dance about our relationship. Something wasn’t right. Something was going on. But I didn’t know how I felt about it. Do I feel happy that Nimisha has left me alone, or should I be suspicious as to what she’s up to?

All of a sudden, I felt torn all over again. Something wasn’t right. I knew.

Jalebi ~ Part 26

 

“I’m engaged Arnav.”

 

Looking at the ring on Khushi’s finger and then looking between her and Rohan, it took Arnav a few minutes to process it all.

 

“Wait what?”

“I should’ve told you as soon as I saw you…

“Yes, yes you should have! How could you leave like that and come back engaged? Did you not think about me for even a moment? Did you not remember the fact that I wanted to marry you? How did you forget about everything we’d been through? How could you?”

“How could I? How could I?!”

 

Khushi felt her patience slipping away from her, her anger rising. Rohan took hold of her arm, whispered how she needed to calm down. But she wasn’t having it.

 

“I could do this because you deceived me! You stole my business from me! And you have the audacity to ask me how dare I?”

“Khushi…”

“I gave myself to you after trying to stay away from you. It took me ages to open myself up to you and that’s how you repaid me…”

“I didn’t do anything! It was Akash!”

 

Khushi stopped for a moment. What did he say?

“Jijaji?”

“Yes. It was all his master plan. Right from the moment he called you back for the reunion he had this plan. I knew about it from the start but I never thought it was a good idea. But initially I went with him, but only to an extent. Then I started to work with you, got to know you, and I couldn’t do it, I told him I wanted out. And then things really started changing between us and I…”

“Why didn’t you say no from the start?”

“I didn’t think much of it, I didn’t think Akash was being serious. And then I realised he was and that’s when I said no.”

 

Raising her hand to head, Khushi tried to take in everything that she’d just learnt. How could Akash do that to her? How could he even think about doing something like that?

 

“But Payal…”

“He loves Payal truly…”

“How could he do that to me when he’s always been trying to get into bed with my cousin. Did he not think…”

“I don’t know Khushi. I don’t know his logic behind it all. But I need you to know it wasn’t me. I didn’t even know when he created the papers. I’d already made it clear to him long before that we needed to put a stop to the plan. And he agreed. I honestly thought he was going to back off…”

 

Rohan who had been standing beside Khushi patiently finally started to lose his cool. He’d had enough of this.

 

“Okay. Right, you’ve said you’re bit, you’ve done what you needed to do, but it doesn’t change what’s happened. Whether it was your plan or someone else’s, Khushi no longer has her business. I don’t think there’s much else to be said.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come between us.”

“I’m afraid I have to be between you. Khushi’s my fiancé and I need to make sure you’re not saying anything to trouble her.”

 

Arnav moved up to Rohan. Who the hell did he think he was? Khushi sensed the tension between the two men and moved between them.

 

“Look, I don’t need you two to start arguing. Arnav, I appreciate your attempts to sort things, but… There’s nothing that can be done. You can’t give me Khushiyan back… As for us… I can’t trust you Arnav, I’m sorry. I know it sounds harsh, given everything that you’ve told me, but I can’t… I’m sorry. I’ve moved on with me life, I’ve moved on with Rohan, and I want you to respect my decision.”

“So what? That’s it for us?”

“I told you before I left, it was over between us.”

 

Tears pricked in both Arnav and Khushi’s eyes. She blinked them away as Rohan wrapped an arm around her. Arnav took a step closer to Khushi.

 

“I love you… I can’t live without you.”

 

She looked at him, wanting to move closer to him and wipe his tears away. But she was aware of Rohan holding her close. In her heart she knew she still loved him but…

 

“I’m sorry Arnav… We spent some beautiful moments together and I guess they and you will always be special. But it was always meant to be me and Rohan. I guess I got confused along the way. I’m not confused now and Rohan has accepted my past with you…”

 

Rohan and Khushi both watched as Arnav’s body deflated, he looked completely defeated. It pulled at Khushi’s heart. She’d never seen him like this. He looked so broken, so lost. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry… But you will find someone for yourself, someone who will love you and care for you the way Rohan loves and cares for me.”

“I can’t be here…”

 

Holding back the tears that were threatening to fall, Arnav tried to hold himself together. He didn’t want to cry in front of her any more, and definitely not in front of Rohan.

 

“I’m sorry I came here.”

“Arnav…”

 

He brushed past both Khushi and Rohan and made his way over to the door. One hand on the door handle, he turned around and took one last look at Khushi.

 

“Goodbye Khushi.”

 

And with that, he was gone. Khushi wanted to go after Arnav, to stop him, to tell him she still cared for him and that she still wanted to be with him. But she knew she couldn’t do that.

Tears started falling, and Rohan pulled Khushi into a hug, holding her close to himself. Brushing him off, Khushi moved away from him and rushed into her bedroom, shutting the door behind herself. Throwing herself onto the bed, Khushi cried. Let it all out. This wasn’t fair. She had met someone she truly loved and who truly loved her too, but she couldn’t be with him. It wasn’t fair, this wasn’t how t was meant to be.

Khushi lay in bed, and she recalled all the moments she and Arnav had shared. She remembered all the kisses they had shared, the moment they had stolen during Payal and Akash’s wedding. She remembered their first night together, how gentle he’d been with her, how he kept making sure that she was okay, that this was still what she wanted.

Then she remembered their second night together. She remembered how she’d felt, being there below his body while he moved over her, kissing every inch of her body, touching her naked skin… She remembered how it had felt being so close to him, being one with him, having his body in hers…

Wiping her tears away, she forced herself to remember why they couldn’t be together, why she had made the decision to leave him. Yes it did change things, knowing that this was Akash’s plan and not Arnav’s. But Arnav should have said no from the start, he should have put his foot down because he knew it was wrong, morally, to do that to someone.

No, she couldn’t cry over not having Arnav any more. She wasn’t being fair on herself or Rohan. Rohan had accepted her, knowing everything about hers and Arnav’s relationship.

Wiping her tears away, Khushi sat up in bed and recalled everything that had happened when she arrived back in London.

 

*Flashback*

 

Arriving at Heathrow airport, Khushi pulled her sunglasses over her eyes to cover her puffy eyes. She had cried almost the entire flight, unable to understand how and why this was happening.

Once she collected her luggage and was ready to leave, she called for a taxi and went straight to her office.

The security team at the entrance of her office was the ones she was used to and they recognised her the moment they saw her and let her in.

Walking into the office, her assistant came rushing over to her.

 

“Ma’am! What are you doing here all of a sudden? But more importantly what’s happening with ownership? Apparently you have signed over all rights?”

“I need to talk to everyone from legal. Find out if they’re free and even if they aren’t arrange a meeting now.”

“Yes ma’am, but do you want to maybe freshen up first, you look exhausted.”

“Please just do as I’ve asked you to do.”

 

The assistant rushed off and Khushi made her way up to her office, greeting everyone politely as she passed them. Getting to her office, Khushi shut the door behind her before taking a look at herself in the mirror. She looked a wreck. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face dry and tired looking.

 

Sorting herself out a bit, she looked through the papers that Mohit had sent over to her, trying to find a loophole, something, anything that would help her get her business back. But she couldn’t find anything.

After waiting about half an hour, Khushi’s assistant reappeared, telling Khushi that he had managed to get a meeting sorted with the legal team and that it would take place in half an hours time.

Thanking him, Khushi dismissed him once more. Picking her phone up, she noticed that she had a tonne of missed calls and text messages from Arnav. She read the previews, but didn’t bother to open the messages. She didn’t have anything to say to him.

Sitting through the meeting with legal, it became clear very early on that nothing much could be done. They had gone through the papers in detail, trying to find anything that could help them, but it was clear that there wasn’t a lot that could be done.

When Khushi left the office, she felt completely deflated. She had hoped with all her heart that her legal time would be able to find something, anything. But it seemed as though if Arnav didn’t sign things over, she wouldn’t be able to get her business back.
Leaving the office, Khushi got another taxi to take her home. Getting to her house, she couldn’t help but feel broke. She hadn’t been home alone for years and now to come back home to an empty house, when she really needed her family was not ideal.

Once Khushi was home and she’d had some time to freshen up, she called the only person she could think of at that point. Rohan.

As soon as Khushi put the phone down from Rohan, he arrived. He came with food and some flowers. The moment he walked in through the door, Khushi embraced him.

 

“Khushi? What’s going on?”

 

Explaining everything that had happened, Khushi couldn’t contain her tears. She told Rohan everything, telling him everything that had happened from the start to the end.

 

“Wait, so you were in a relationship with him? Were you together when I met you guys at the conference?”

“No we got together right after.”

“I can’t believe he’d do that to you.”

“I’m sorry Rohan. I know… Us… We always said we’d get married. And I went and…”

“Sh, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with exploring your options. But I think it’s clear now that our Jodi was predetermined for a reason. We were meant to be Khushi. I know you’ve just got out of a serious relationship, but I want you to know, I still want to marry you… Maybe one day when you’re ready…”

“I can’t even think about that right now Rohan. It’s too soon.”

“I know, I know.”

 

Rohan dropped the topic of their marriage and Khushi too attempted to cheer herself up so she wouldn’t have to discuss the matter any further. It was too soon to even think about spending her life with someone else. Up until yesterday, she had felt her future with Arnav was set and now to have that taken away… It was too much at one time.

 

*****

 

Time flew by faster than Khushi realised. She’d been back in the U.K. for over 2 weeks and her parents were back too. She had received a number of calls and messages from the Raizada’s. She knew that she should probably call them back and talk to them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Rohan had been a dream and had paid Khushi a number of visits to make sure that she was settling back okay.

It was one afternoon when she was scrolling through the news app when she saw the news about the management of AR and Khushiyan was changing. Tapping on the headline, Khushi opened up the full article and read that both business which had previously been under Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, was now being passed over to Mr Akash Singh Raizada. No formal statement about the change had yet been made.

When Khushi read this, she felt like the ground beneath her had been pulled away. She couldn’t understand why Arnav would do that. Why would he take her business from her, only to hand it, and his own business, over to his brother?

It didn’t make any sense, none of it made any sense. Throwing her phone onto the bed, Khushi realised that enough was enough. She was done with Arnav. He’d deceived her and used her love for his own personal gains and his own motives. She was done with him. It was then she made the most rash decision of her life…

 

*****

 

A couple of days later, Khushi and Rohan were engaged. It was a small affair, with just their parents and their immediate family present. They didn’t want anyone else.
Rohan had asked Khushi over and over again if she was sure, if this is what she really wanted and she had assured him that it was.

 

“Why avoid the inevitable, let’s just get it done.”

 

Rohan had been confused but he didn’t want to question it. He wanted to be with Khushi and if she had finally decided it was time to make their relationship official, then he wasn’t going to question her. Rohan could tell that Khushi’s heart hadn’t been in the right place on their engagement day, and he had asked her over and over to make sure she was okay. She said she was.

Their engagement went on without a hitch, and it wasn’t until late that night when she was back in her own bedroom did she realise what she had really done. She’d given herself to someone else, promised someone else that she would be their wife… But in her heart, she knew she belonged with Arnav…

 

*Flashback end*

 

Looking at the diamond ring on her finger, Khushi realised that she couldn’t allow herself to bask in the past. She had made the decision to marry Rohan, and she knew it was a decision that her parents supported her on. She couldn’t back down or fall weak now. She owed it to herself, her parents and Rohan to make this work. Brushing away her tears, Khushi decided that enough really was enough. It was time to move on. To close the Arnav related chapter of her life and to proceed with her new journey with Rohan.

It was time for a new beginning.

Unwanted ~ Part 29

 

Khushi

 

By the time I got home from work, Arushi was already home and she was already changed out of her school clothes. Taking my little girl into my arms, I held her close and told her I missed her lots and lots.

 

“I missed you too mama.”

“So tell me, what did my princess do in school today.”

“Nothing.”

 

I could tell something wasn’t right. Normally she’d come running to me and she wouldn’t stop talking about her day. She’d tell me every little detail and if she missed something, it would mean needing to go through the whole story all over again.

 

“Arushi, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Beta, you know you can’t hide anything from me.”

 

I watched as her expressions changed, it was evident she was trying to figure out what to do.

 

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow and I don’t want to do the Father’s Day event.”

 

This came as a shock to me. Ever since Arushi had started school, she had never wanted to not go to school. Even when she was ill, it was a struggle to keep her home. So now for her to tell me she didn’t want to go, I knew something was wrong.

 

“Did something happen?”

 

She shook her head but I knew my daughter well enough to know she was lying. Taking her into my arms, I pulled her to myself and sat down on the floor with her on my lap.

 

“Tell me Ari, what happened?”

 

Looking up at me, I saw the little tears in the corner of her eyes. I watched as she tried to make them go away, but they didn’t and ended falling onto her little cheeks.

 

“The people in my class said I can’t do the Father’s Day presentation because I don’t have a real dad.”

 

I gasped and I held my baby close to myself. When did kids become so cruel? How could such young children be so mean to each other?

 

“Did you tell your teacher?”

“I did. He made them sit near the wall.”

“The naughty wall?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Baby, you have a dad. Raj is going to do to the presentation with you.”

“But he isn’t my real papa. Mama why can’t you call papa and tell him to come? I want my papa!”

“Arushi, you know your dad live far away and he’s very busy…”

“But can’t he come for one day? It’s not fair! I’ve never even seen my papa! Doesn’t he love me?”

 

I shook my head, holding her tighter.

 

“Of course he loves you baby! You’re our baby. But he just can’t…”

“He can’t come to see me.”

 

Arushi’s face fell and hen she wiggled out of my arms.

 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to play in my room.”

 

She walked away and I watched her go. What was I doing? For the first time ever, Arushi was questioning her fathers love for her. How could I do that to her? How could I keep lying to her like this? She thought Arnav didn’t love her, hence why he never came. How could I tell her that he doesn’t even know she exists? How do I tell my daughter that everything I’ve told her about why her dad isn’t with us is a lie?

 

“You’re realising how much of a mess you’ve made, aren’t you?”

 

Turning, I saw Raj stood in the doorway. When had he arrived. Stepping into the room, he looked over his shoulder before shutting the door behind himself.

 

“Ma is with Arushi.”

“Did you need something Raj?”

“No not really, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Arushi. Khushi, what are you doing to that poor little girl?

“What am I doing to her?”

“You’re torturing her! She’s only a five year old! She’s never met her real father, never even spoken to him…”

“You know why that is!”

“I do! And you know that I didn’t approve of your decision at the time and I still don’t. You left Arnav because you didn’t want to deprive his child of its fathers love, but look at what you’re doing to Arushi.”

“What am I doing to her?”

“You’re making her question whether her dad loves her or not! And I can’t blame her. The poor child has never seen it spoken to her dad. She doesn’t even know what he looks like or what his name is! He’s just a story to her.”

“She has you. So she’s feeling a bit down today, but come tomorrow, she’ll be completely over all this and she’ll be ready to rehearse for the Father’s Day event with you again.”

“Yes she has me, and I love her like my own, but at the end of the day she isn’t mine and she knows that. She knows her dad is out there somewhere and it’s understandable that she’s curious and wants to know more about him.”

 

I hated having this conversation. Why didn’t they just accept that I couldn’t let Arushi meet Arnav or let her speak to him. Why didn’t they understand that I couldn’t just torpedo into his life and drop Arushi on him?

 

“Khushi, listen to me. Arushi is still little. As she gets older she’s only going to have more and more questions. And as she gets older, your excuse he lives to far and is too busy isn’t going to bode well. Please Khushi, try and put this all aside.”

“I don’t understand what you expect me to do! I’ve said it time and time again, I can’t tell Arnav anything! Why don’t you understand?”

“Are you really that selfish Khushi? You’re thinking about the inconvenience it’ll cause you to tell Arnav the truth and you’re thinking about his happiness, but you’re completely overlooking Arushi’s feelings.”

“What inconvenience will it cause me? How dare you call me selfish? I’m thinking about everyone accept myself when I try to make decisions regarding this!”

 

My temper was rising fast. Raj was always so kind and supportive but today? Why was he speaking to me like this!

 

“You’re worried about all the questions you’ll have to answer if you go to Arnav now and tell him about his daughter. You know it’s going to put you in a tricky spot and you want to avoid that.”

“No, that’s not my reasoning at all! I’m thinking solely about Arnav and Arushi. Have you even for a moment thought about either of them? You’re only looking at the situation from one side, I’m looking at it from both. Do you think I enjoy being away from my husband, away from the love of my life? Do you think it’s easy for me to live my life? Do you think I enjoy seeing my fatherless daughter pine for her dad? No I don’t Raj! It kills me every time. But have you thought what would happen if I introduce Arushi to Arnav and he refuses to acknowledge her? What if I take her to him, but he doesn’t want anything to do with either of us?”

“Then Arushi will know her dad is scum and maybe it will be easier for you all to move on.”

“But yes, there is a slight selfishness to my decision too. What if I take Arushi to Arnav and he wants to keep her? What if he’s happy with Nimisha and his other child and he decides that he wants full custody for Arushi? What if he’s content with his life but having Arushi would make it better? He’s far more financially stable than I am. He would win a custody battle. I could lose my daughter. Have you thought of that?”

 

It was obvious from Raj’s expression that he hadn’t thought of that. That he hadn’t for a moment considered that taking Arushi to Arnav could mean us all losing her. But he knew as much as I did that this could be something that could happen.

We had all seen the pictures and the articles of Arnav and Nimisha on their wedding and at high profile events over the years. It seemed as though they were happy together. If I took Arushi to Arnav, he may decide he wants to keep our baby, but he doesn’t need me. He may throw me out of their lives and keep Arushi. And I couldn’t let that happen. Arushi was my reason to live, the reason I got up in the morning, the reason why I kept living this life. If I lost her…

 

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Well I had. Do you see why Raj it’s so hard to decide what to do?”

“I do but…”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do in the future, but for now I want to leave things as they are.”

 

It was obvious Raj wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He just nodded, acknowledging what I had said. He looked down at his feet and the turned his attention back to me.

 

“So you still love him?”

 

This question threw me off slightly. I wasn’t expecting Raj to ask me something like that.
Sighing, I sat down on my bed and took the photo of Arnav out of my bedside drawer and looked at it. It was one of my favourite pictures of Arnav. It was one that I had taken of him on our honeymoon. It was one of the first pictures I took of him after we slept together for the first time.

 

“I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a moment.”

 

Coming over to the bed, Raj sat down beside me.

 

“It’s been six years Khushi…”

“I know but I can’t just stop…”

“Let me finish what I was trying to say. I was saying, it’s been six years and you still love him as much as ever. Maybe you should try reaching out to him. If in over six years you haven’t been able to stop loving him, I don’t think you will ever be able to. For yourself and Arushi, maybe you need to reach out to him.”

 

Raj was right. It had been six years and not a moment went by when I didn’t think about Arnav. When I lay in my bed cold bed alone, I thought of Arnav. When I woke up, I thought about Arnav. When I looked at our daughter, I thought of him. He was always on my mind, always in my thoughts. To someone, it may seem insane. We were only together for six months and yet six years later I haven’t been able to get over him. But that’s just how it was. Those six months with him were the best six months of my life and I cherish every single moment from that time.

 

“I was happy with him. Our lives were going great, everything was perfect. It’s hard not to still love him when he never did anything to make me feel anything less for him. We never argued, he always took care of all my little needs and he was always there for me. How can I not still love him?”

 

I looked to Raj, awaiting his response. I could see that he saw things the way I saw them, that he understood what I meant.

 

“I understand.”

“In my heart, I hope that maybe one day I can reach out to him again. But as time goes on, I feel like it’s becoming harder and harder to reach out to him. He’s probably settled into his life now, he’s probably happy with Nimisha and their child. They may even have another child by now. I can’t enter his life again now. I could make a mess for him.”

“But what if he too has been struggling to move on, just as you have?”

“He got married to Nimisha. He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t ready to move on.”

 

Raj went silent once more. He knew I had a point.

 

“If he’s moved on, don’t you think maybe you should try too?”

“Maybe one day. But right now, I have Arushi and I want to be the best mother to her. I don’t want to divert my attention.”

“So what, you’re not ruling out the chances of getting married again?”

“I don’t know Raj. I honestly haven’t thought about it. I don’t want to get married again. Heck, I’m still married to Arnav. I can’t even think about getting married again. But maybe one day I will think about it seriously. But as of now, I’m fine as I am.”

 

He remained seated beside me for a while. He didn’t say anything, nor did he move. He turned to me, wanting to say something, but he must have thought against it because he turned away once more and slowly got to his feet.

 

“As long as your happy and you know what you’re doing, I can’t really say anything more.”

“I appreciate you’re concern for me and Arushi, but I think we’ll be okay.”

 

Nodding, Raj made his way over to the door and slowly opened it. He turned back to me, but then shook his head and turned away once more and left.

I did understand Raj’s concern, I really did. He cared for me and Arushi and so he wanted the best for the both of us. But at the end of the day, how I decided to go about this was my business.

I turned my attention back to my photograph of Arnav. I missed him, so, so much. Every single day, all the time. No matter what happened and how much changed, he would always be my other half, my better half. He completed me, made me whole. And even if he did have someone else and his own life now, for me, he would always be my other half. The man who completed me.

Whenever Raj and Veera asked me about getting married again, I always made it sound like it would be something that I would consider one day, but the truth was I don’t see myself ever thinking about getting married again. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Arnav or ever stop wanting to be with him. I could marry someone else, but at the end of the day, my heart belonged to Arnav, so it seemed pointless even considering marriage.

Yes, making Arushi understand would only get harder as she got older, but once she got to a certain age, I would tell her the truth. Why I left her dad and why he isn’t with us. Maybe one day she’d understand, but for now, what she knew was enough.

In my heart, there was still hope. Maybe one day things would get better and me, Arnav and Arushi could be a proper family. But until then, hope is all we have. I would carry on praying for him and for us and maybe Devi Maiyya would make things easier for us all. I had faith and I had hope. Maybe one day…

 

Just maybe.

Jalebi ~ Part 25

It had been weeks since anyone had last heard from Khushi. Arnav had given her time and space and had hoped that by this point she would have cooled down a little and would’ve spoken to him, but she hadn’t.

After handing over all business responsibility to Akash, Arnav found for the first time in a long time, he had time for himself. Legally, nothing had been signed over yet, but it was well known now that there had been a change in ownership and that Arnav was no longer in charge.

Arnav received a lot of phone calls, people he had previously worked with asking why he made such an abrupt decision. Many told him that he had made the wrong decision, but Arnav just stated that he had his reasons and for now, he was taking a step back.

To begin with, Akash had been more than happy to be the new owner of two successful fashion houses. He finally felt as though he got everything he deserved. He’d got his revenge on Khushi for rejecting him, and he’d punished Arnav for always having one up on him. Now he felt content with life. He also found that he was actually happy with Payal, glad that he had picked Payal in the end. She was understanding and supportive, he kind of woman one needed beside themselves when trying to be successful.

However, as time went on, Akash found that he was beginning to struggle to keep up. There were always so many files to check, so many meetings to attend, he barely had time for himself. He and Payal had been unable to go on honeymoon, and by the time he got home in the evening, he had no time for Payal because he was so tired.

He’d hoped that once he got into a routine with things and once he started getting on top of things, then it would be okay, but as time went on, he fell more and more behind. At one point he wanted to ask Arnav to step in and help, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Arnav to think he was incapable. No, he was going to make this work, no matter what happened.

 

*****

 

As Arnav walked into the kitchen, he saw Payal was pouring some juice. They were alone in the kitchen and Arnav took this opportunity to speak to her.

 

“Payal, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Of course.”

“Payal… Have you heard from Khushi recently?”

“No I’m sorry, I haven’t. I’ve called her and left her messages, but she hasn’t been responding to anything.”

“Have you maybe spoken to her parents?”

“I spoke to Maasi the other day, but it seemed as though they had people at their house, there was so much noise. She said she’d call back but she never did. And every time that I’ve called since, no one has picked up.”

 

Running his hand through his hair, Arnav realised that maybe it was time to just go back to England. Maybe that was the best way to find her and speak to her.

 

“I’m going to try and get a flight out by the end of this week. It’s been over a month. I can’t wait any longer, I need to sort things with Khushi.”

“But bhai… Khushiyan.”

“I don’t know Payal, I’ve tried everything but you know I can’t get that sorted. I just need to make Khushi believe that I love her.”

“I’m sure she knows that but I don’t think that’s the issue here.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to work this out Payal, but I need to be near her. Not hearing from her is driving me insane.”

 

Nodding, Payal showed that she understood, because she did. Arnav didn’t tell her the truth about Akash because he didn’t want to cause any issues between them. He had been tempted, to be spiteful and to get back at Akash, but then he realised, he couldn’t do that because it would make him as bad as him.

Arnav headed back to his bedroom at pulled his phone out to call Aman.

 

“Hi Aman, find me a flight out to London… Any time before the end of the week… Okay, thank you.”

 

Ending the call Arnav realised that he was making the right decision. It had been well over a month. He couldn’t leave it any longer, he needed to work things out with Khushi.

 

*****

 

It was Thursday afternoon, Arnav was due to fly out the next morning. He had called both Khushi and her parents, tried to get an address, but no one answered. He had asked Payal for their details, which she provided, but even she wasn’t sure if Khushi would be living with her parents or not. Arnav wasn’t sure what to expect when he got back to England, but he knew he wouldn’t come back without Khushi by his side.

Walking out of one of the shops in the mall, Arnav bumped straight into a woman, making her drop the bags that was carrying.

 

“I’m so sor…”

 

Actually taking a look at the woman, Arnav realised that it was Khushi!

 

“Khushi? When did you…”

 

Gathering her things together, Khushi sorted herself out and turned away. Arnav took hold of her hand, pulling her back to himself.

 

“Arnav please…”

“Don’t make a scene Khushi. Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

“I’m not the one making a scene.”

“Khushi come on.”

 

Debating whether or not she should go with him, Khushi decided she may as well. If she didn’t speak to him, he would just keep trying and she needed to set him straight.
Arnav led Khushi out of the mall and towards his car. He moved over to open the door for her, but Khushi brushed his hand away and opened the door herself and got in. The moment she sat inside, all she could think about was that one time they had got intimate in the backseat. The first time they had given into their desires. If she could turn back time, Khushi knew she would take that day back. That’s when she really started developing feelings for him. If she hadn’t given into him that day, hadn’t lost control, then now, she would still have her business.

Getting settled Arnav got the car going, making their way out of the car park.

 

“Where should we go?”

“We can go and talk at my apartment?”

“Where are you staying?”

“I’m staying at the apartment I had bought before moving here.”

“Oh it’s done?”

“Yes, the work was complete last week, that’s why I came back.”

“When did you come back? Why didn’t you call me?”

 

Turning to face him, Khushi raised her eyebrow.

 

“Why would I call you? Why would I speak to you? Actually, what am I doing here right now?”

“Khushi please…”

“I got back 3 days ago. And honestly Arnav, I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about.”

 

Arnav said nothing. He didn’t want to start talking about anything in the car.
They drove in silence, Arnav keeping his focus on the road. Khushi sat beside him, her hands fidgeting constantly. When she was sure that Arnav wasn’t paying any attention to her, she turned to look at him. It seemed as though he’d lost some weight in the last month. His face looked a lot less full than the last time she saw him, and under his eyes he had dark circles. But other than that, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever seen in her life. Shaking the thought away, Khushi turned away. She couldn’t be thinking about Arnav that was any more.

The drive to Khushi’s apartment wasn’t a long one, but for Arnav, it felt endless. He felt as though they had been driving forever. As soon as he got the car parked, Khushi was out of the car, leading the way. Arnav followed her, watching her hips sway slightly, her butt swaying ever so slightly as she walked. How he wanted to grab hold of her hips and pull her back against himself. But he stopped himself from acting in such a manner. There would be plenty of time for all of that once they got everything sorted.

Getting into the lift, Khushi pushed the button for her floor and they began making their way up. Her apartment was only on the third floor, so before they knew it, they had already arrived.

Getting out of the lift, Khushi made her way over to her door and unlocked it. She stepped inside and held the door as Arnav followed her in.

 

“It’s quite a nice little place.”

“Thanks, take a seat. Let me just go and put this stuff in my room.”

 

Nodding, Arnav sat down at the sofa, taking in his surroundings while he waited for Khushi to reemerge from her bedroom. Would they be able to sort things out today? Would they be able to clear up their misunderstandings? He wondered if she’d let him make love to her, to let him show her how much she actually met to him.

Moments later, Khushi came out of her room and went into the kitchen area and put the kettle on. Arnav waited patiently as he listened to her pottering around. Maybe she was just nervous and was killing some time, he didn’t want to rush her.

A little bit of time passed and Khushi came out of the kitchen with tea, coffee and some snacks.

 

“Please help yourself.”

“I’m not hungry Khushi, I just want to talk to you.”

“Honestly Arnav, I really don’t think there is anything to talk about. Whatever happened, has happened. I saw on the news about how you handed everything over to Akash. I would ask you about that, but honestly, I am exhausted with all this. I want my business back, but more than anything I just want peace. I spoke to my team in England about what can be done. They looked at everything closely and told me that nothing much can be done. I can file a lawsuit against you, but it would be lengthy and intense and at the end of it I may not even get anything out of it considering I actually signed those papers. Moreover, if I took this to court, it could cause our relationship to come to light and I just…”

“You just what?”

“I know you were probably using me. That you probably got close to me so you could make me trust you. But what we shared… It was special to me even if it wasn’t for you. So I want to keep it between us. I don’t want some lawyer or some judge telling me I was an idiot for getting into a relationship with you. For being foolish and sleeping with you. I don’t need anyone to tell me that if I had hold of my feelings, then I would still have my business.”

 

She looked away and Arnav could tell thoughts of everything that they had shared was troubling her. Sliding off the sofa, Arnav moved towards Khushi before dropping onto his knees before her. Taking her hands into his own, he rested his head in her lap.

 

“Khushi, I need you. I’m incomplete without you. Khushi I love you!”

 

They remained in this position for a long time, Khushi running her fingers through Arnav’s hair, tears streaming down her face into his hair. Why was this happening? Why had their lives become so difficult?

Tears ran down Arnav’s cheeks and onto Khushi’s lap. He’d never let himself become this weak in front of anyone before, but he couldn’t hold his tears back. He needed to get Khushi back, he needed her.

Playing all their intimate moments back, Khushi remembered the intensity of their relationship, the feelings she’d felt for him, how she had felt when she was with him.

Coming to her senses first, Khushi wiped her tears away and started pulling Arnav away from herself.

 

“Sh, stop crying Arnav, please.”

“You need to trust me Khushi, I didn’t do anything to deceive you…”

“Whatever has happened, has happened. We can’t do anything to change what has happened.”

“Forgive me… Take me back.”

“I can’t Arnav.”

“Khushi I love you… I can’t live without you. The last month… You don’t know how it’s been. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything, I’ve been waiting for my phone to ring and for it to be you. I’ve been dying to hear your voice…”

“We have to move on.”

 

He pulled back, his eyes filled with tears.

 

“Does that mean you’ll take me back?”

 

He moved towards her again, hugging her tightly before placing kisses on her face.

 

“Arnav…”

“I love you so much.”

 

Khushi felt his hands move along her body, rushing from her hips up to her breasts all the while kissing every inch of her face.

Coming to her senses, Khushi pushed at Arnav, moving him away from herself before getting to her feet.

 

“Stop Arnav! Listen to me!”

 

He looked up at her, the smile that had started creeping onto his face, fell away. He got up, tried to reach out for her, but she took a step back, maintaining a distance between them.

 

“What’s wrong?”

“Just because I said that we need to move on doesn’t mean I want you back. I don’t trust you Arnav! As much as I want to believe you, I can’t.”

“What did you mean by moving in then?”

“I meant we’re over and we both need to accept that and move on with our lives. Start afresh.”

“Did our relationship mean nothing to you? Is it that easy for you to walk away? To forget about everything that was between us. That still is between us.”

“I’m trying to forget, please just let me.”

 

Arnav walked right up to Khushi, closing any distance between them.

 

“Are you telling me that if I’m this close to you, you don’t feel anything?”

“Arnav…”

 

He placed his hand on her cheek and Khushi’s eyes fluttered shut.

 

“Are you trying to tell me that when I’m this close and touching you like this, you don’t want me to kiss you?”

 

Her eyes remained shut, almost as though she didn’t hear what he had to say. Arnav moved in, closing his eyes, their lips a nail widths apart when the door opened behind them. Khushi came to her senses first and pushed Arnav away and moved away from him.

 

“Babe you home?”

“I… I’m here.”

 

Arnav’s eyes snapped open. Babe?

Someone called Khushi babe? Turning on the spot Arnav came face to face with Rohan.

 

“What is he doing here?”

“I could ask you the same Raizada. What are you doing here?”

 

Sensing the tension brewing between the two men, Khushi rushed between them, her back to Rohan, facing Arnav.

 

“Arnav… I should’ve told you as soon as I saw you…”

“Why is he here?”

“Listen. Arnav… I…”

 

She looked down before turning to Rohan who simply placed his arm around her waist, holding her close to himself. Taking a deep breath, Khushi looked up at Arnav again before holding her left hand out.

How had he missed it? How did he not notice…

 

“I’m engaged Arnav.”

Unwanted ~ Part 28

 

Arnav

 

I’d been working at the school for over a week now, and truth be told, I was really enjoying it! Really, really enjoying it.

I now understood why people wanted to work with kids. Every time one of the children learnt a new letter, it felt really good. Knowing that I had been able to teach them something which they would remember and use for the rest of their lives.

I wasn’t the best teachers out there, but I really felt like I was doing a good job. Who would have though, Arnav Singh Raizada, a class teacher of five year olds. But here I was and I didn’t plan on leaving any time soon.

When I first told Di what I was doing, she had a fit and demanded I come home right away. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave the kids hanging, not after they had been left by their previous teacher. And beside the kids, I felt like there was something holding me back. Something that was keeping me from going back to Delhi. My time here wasn’t done yet, I could feel it in my bones.

Di however thought this was all a load of rubbish and demanded that I come home. She said something about how Nimisha needed me at home. And then she started talking about how it was wrong, me being a teacher.

 

“How can you be a teacher to five year olds though Chote?”

“Why can’t I?”

“You have a daughter, who craves your love and attention. You have no time for her, but you can go and spend time educating other people’s kids. Do you know how insane that is?”

“Di, you always tell me I should embrace change and learn to find happiness in new things. I’ve done that! For the first time in years, I actually want to get out of bed every morning. These kids… They’ve lit up my dull, monochrome world and they’ve filled it with glorious technicolor. You should be happy for me!”

 

I remember how there was a pause after I said that. I heard Di sigh and then she told me that she was happy that I found happiness, but she’d be happier if I’d come home and spent time with my “wife and daughter.”

After all these years, I still couldn’t believe that Di didn’t realise that Pari wasn’t mine. Everyone in the household has started realising and considering that maybe I did know what I was talking about. That perhaps I was right. But Di… Maybe she just wanted to be oblivious to it all. And then there was Payal. She too couldn’t accept that Pari wasn’t mine. Between Payal and Di, I honestly felt like I was suffocating half the time.

Over the years, even Nimisha had stopped fighting for me to accept Pari. I mean she still did it, but not as much as she had done at the start. She’d stopped trying to convince me that Pari was mine. I think she finally realised that she wasn’t going to be able to fool me into believing that Pari was mine when we both knew she wasn’t.

I’d never really thought about having kids, but I always knew, if ever I did have a child, I would have a connection with them. I’d be able to feel it within me that they were mine. But with Pari, I felt nothing like that. Not even slightly. Pari was a great kid, and as I’ve said before, I do feel bad when I don’t acknowledge her the way she wants me to. But I can’t. I know I’m not her father, no matter what any DNA test reported.

I can’t give her the kind of love she wants and deserves. Maybe one day Nimisha would stop messing with the poor little girl and actually let her meet her father…

 

*****

 

As time went on and I spent more and more time with the kids in class, I began to grow more and more attached to them. I got to know them personally and learnt about their personalities. Even though they were only 5, most of them had already developed very individual personalities and it really showed through their art work that they did in class.

I enjoyed getting to know the kids. Getting to know their likes and dislikes, what annoyed them and what kind of things they enjoyed. It was an enjoyable process.

There was one child that made me struggle a bit though, and that child was little Arushi. There was something about this little girl that felt eerily familiar, like I’m supposed to know her. But none of my friends that live in Mumbai have a child her age, so it couldn’t be that. Nor do we have any relatives here. But regardless of all of that, there was something about this child that made me feel like I really, really should know who she is.

After observing the child for quite a long while, I finally put my finger on why she seemed so familiar. She looked like Khushi…

 

*****

 

The moment I got home that evening, I called Payal. For the rest of the day, I kept looking at Arushi and the more I looked at her, the more striking the resemblance between her and Khushi seemed. As I waited for Payal to answer the phone, I sat down on my bed and looked at the photograph of Khushi on the bedside table. Khushi’s eyes and Arushi’s eyes were almost identical. Of course it could be a coincidence but it seemed highly unlikely.

 

“Hello?”

“Payal, it’s me. I need to ask you something urgently.”

“Is everything okay bhai? What’s the matter?”

“There’s this little girl in my class, ever since I met her there’s been something crazy familiar about her and now… She… She looks like Khushi. The absolutely same eyes.”

“Really? Exactly like Khushi’s?”

“Identical. I spent so much time staring into Khushi’s eyes, I don’t know how I didn’t make the link earlier but now… I can’t stop seeing the resemblance. Do you and Khushi have any relatives in Mumbai? Maybe cousins or…”

 

There was a pause on Payal’s end and I waited patiently.

 

“Well… My Amma and Khushi’s amma were sisters and they didn’t have any other siblings. So there’s no chance that we have any cousins on that side. But I know Khushi’s babuji has siblings. But where they are and how many kids they have, I don’t know. No ones close to that side of Khushi’s family, not even her. So maybe this little girl is a relative but I don’t know…”

“Do you think Khushi might be here? With relatives?”

“I don’t know bhai. Honestly, I doubt it. I can’t really imagine Khushi trying to reach out to the side of the family that turned their back to her. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that that little girl looks like Khushi, or maybe it is a relative. But I don’t think Khushi is with any family members. I think she’d be on her own. I can’t see her turning to people who cut her out of their lives.”

 

I thought about it for a moment and realised that Payal was probably right. Khushi had never spoken about any other family, had never showed any interest in connecting with them.

 

“You’re probably right. Maybe I am looking too far into a coincidence.”

“I’m not saying that to kill your hope but…”

“No I understand. Thanks Payal. Has she written any letters to you since I’ve been here?”

“She hasn’t, but it’s been a while since I last heard from her so I think there should be a letter coming soon. I’ll let you know what she says when the letter arrives.”

“Thanks Payal. Take care of yourself, I’ll speak to you soon.”

 

Disconnecting the call, I put my phone down. I probably was paying too much attention to Arushi. Just because she looked a bit like Khushi didn’t mean she was related to Khushi in any way. And even if she was, it didn’t mean that Khushi was here.

Getting to my feet, I moved into the kitchen to make myself dinner. Another evening, another meal. On my own.

 

*****

 

“Arushi doesn’t have a real papa! What kind of presentation are you going to give for the Father’s Day event?”

 

I walked over to the kids, and the moment I approached them, they all went quiet.

 

“What’s going on here?”

“Nothing sir…”

 

I looked down at the little group of kids and then looked to Arushi who had tears streaming down her face. Kneeling down before her, I asked her what the matter was.

 

“They said… They were saying… I can’t do the presentation… Because I don’t have a papa…”

 

My heart broke for the little girl in front of me. Tears kept falling and she struggled to tell me what she wanted to say. Turning my attention back to the other children, I told them to say sorry and then told them to go and sit by the wall for the rest of their break time.
Once they all walked away, I turned my attention back to Arushi.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

She nodded her little head as she wiped her tears.

 

“Can I go inside please?”

 

I looked around and saw that a few of the other teachers were outside, meaning that they could watch the rest of the kids. I nodded and let Arushi go inside and went in with her.

As soon as she got back into our classroom, she went over to her cubby and pulled out her lunchbox. Coming back to her table, she set her lunchbox down and opened it.

Taking out a smaller box, I watched as she opened it and took out the contents from within.

 

“Jalebis?”

 

Nodding, she turned her attention back to the jalebi and ate it. I watched as she ate the first jalebi and then another.

She reminded me of Khushi. Whenever Khushi was upset, she’d make jalebis and then eat them. When Nimisha entered our lives, Khushi was almost always in the kitchen, making and eating jalebis. It got to the point where she had a plate of jalebis by our bed at all times.

Turning my attention back to Arushi, I watched as she tidy her things away, washed her hands and then came back to sit at her desk.

 

“Feeling better now?”

“Lots.”

“Eating jalebis helps?”

“Helps lots. Mama says that there is no sadness that jalebis can’t fix.”

“Your mama is right. Jalebis can fix everything.”

“Not everything…”

 

The slight light that had been in her eyes were gone again.

 

“Didn’t you tell me your mama makes the best jalebis? Surely if they’re the best then they can fix anything.”

“They can’t bring me my papa. The others are right, sir, I can’t do the Father’s Day event. I don’t even have a real dad.”

“Arushi…”

“I don’t want to do it.”

“But you were so excited.”

“I don’t want to do it any more sir.”

 

And with that she got to her feet and went back outside to spend the rest of her break time in the playground.

I should have gone back outside too, but I decided to stay inside, to just think about what had happened.

 

Arushi wanted her dad, but it seemed as though he wasn’t in the picture. Maybe her parents were divorced? Or maybe her father passed away? There was no way to tell and there was no way to ask her without upsetting her.

But more than that, what was troubling me was how much she reminded me of Khushi. The way she ate her jalebis, the way she spoke about them.

Was I going insane? Was I making links where there were no links? Was I imagining these resemblances? What was happening to me?

Whatever it was, it reiterated something I already knew. I was still madly in love with Khushi and I needed her back in my life. I was starting to see her in a child who probably had no connection to her whatsoever. I needed to find her. I needed to get her back. If I don’t, I think I really will go insane.