Unwanted ~ Interlude II

Raj

 

Stood by my window, I looked out at the world. I don’t know how I was feeling, but I wasn’t feeling great. Reading the news that Arnav was in town shook me up a bit. I mean I know I shouldn’t feel like that. At the end of the day, Arnav was Khushi’s husband and Arushi’s father. No matter how much I wanted to forget the truth, it’s always there. If Khushi left me to go back to Arnav, I couldn’t stop her.

I remember when I first met Khushi, it was literally a matter of coming home one evening and finding her sat there with mom. It was quite late, so I remember getting into the house half asleep and being told that she was our new paying guest. I had been so busy back then, I barely had any time to sit down and talk to her. It wasn’t until about a month after she moved in that I properly spoke to her. The moment I actually spoke to Khushi, I liked her. She was kind, funny and she seemed to care for mom which was something I appreciated.

Once I actually started paying attention to the fact that she was here, I started realising more about her. Like I noticed how when she smiled, her smile never actually reached her eyes. Her bedroom was next to mine, so at night, I’d hear her crying.
It was about 2 months after she’d been with us when she finally stopped crying every night.

 

And then she found out she was pregnant.

 

When she found out she was pregnant, she spent the entire first week in her room, crying. And I understand why. Over time, mom had told me more and more about why she’d left Arnav. So I understood why it was so hard for her to find out that she was pregnant. But regardless, she pulled herself together and she got her head down. She worked hard to make sure that she always had enough money and she became family more than a paying guest.

Once our financial struggles ended, we told Khushi she didn’t need to pay any more, but she won’t hear of it. She said that unless we wanted her to move out, she would carry on paying her rent as she had done.

Time went on and Arushi was born. After Arushi came along, it was evident that Khushi was struggling. I think she found it hard, having a baby but not having her husband beside her.

Up to this point, a strong level of trust and understanding had formed between me and Khushi and Khushi and mom. However everything seemed to go backwards after Arushi was born. Khushi wouldn’t let her baby out of her site and she’d never leave her with us at all. Mom said we shouldn’t take it personally, that she’d get better, but up until then, we had to be patient with her. Mom was right, at first Khushi wouldn’t let us go anywhere near Arushi, but as some time went on, she got more comfortable with leaving her with us.

As Arushi got older, she and Khushi needed two rooms. When Khushi had started talking about moving out, me and mom wouldn’t hear of it. We still had a spare room in our house, so we told Khushi that Arushi could have that room but we refused to let Khushi pay for another room. After much reluctance, she finally agreed.

 

*****

 

Time went on and the four of us started to feel more and more like a family. Over the years, mom had suggested that I marry Khushi. Now I have to admit, I did like Khushi. I liked spending time with her and I felt happy with her. Maybe I was slightly in love with her. How could one not fall in love with her? She was strong, brave, sweet and crazy beautiful. But I knew I couldn’t marry her. Her heart belonged to Arnav. Every Karva Chauth, she kept a fast in his name, she still wore her mangalsoothra and she always had some sindoor on too. She was still Arnav’s wife and I knew it would be stupid to even ask for her hand.

Initially Arushi didn’t call me papa. She knew I wasn’t her dad. When she first started addressing us, I was mamaji and mom was Nani. When Arushi got a little bit older and realised that all kids around her had a dad except her, she asked Khushi about her father. The question threw Khushi and she struggled to answer. But mom told her that she did have a father, of course she did, but her dad lived very far away and he always had a lot of work so he couldn’t come. But Arushi was assured that her father loved her. Maybe it’s because I was around, Arushi never truly felt Arnav’s absence. Arushi was a sweet child, never caused any problems and like her mother, she too was immensely loving. It wasn’t hard to love Arushi.

But it was as she got older and she started going to school, the kids around her realised that she didn’t have a dad and that upset Arushi. It was then that I took it upon myself to deal with it. All it took was going to school with her one day and all the teasing stopped. But by then, Arushi’s morale had been lowered and she asked Khushi about her dad more and more.

 

*Flashback*

 

“Mama I want my papa!”

 

I watched on as Arushi stamped her little feet, tears rolling down her face.”

 

“Arushi! Stop! You know your papa lives far away.”

“But why can’t go to see him?”

“Because we can’t! He lives in Delhi, it’s too far.”

“I want to talk to him on the phone.”

 

Arushi continued to cry and from her voice, I could tell that Khushi too was on the verge of tears. It wasn’t my business but I couldn’t see either of them like this. I walked into Arushi’s bedroom and kneeled before her.

 

“What’s the matter princess?”

“I want my papa.”

“But beta, you know your papa is far away.”

“But I want my papa! Everyone has a papa, I want mine!”

 

I saw Khushi take a step forward, but I stopped her.

 

“Why do you want your papa? You have your mama, you have me and you have your Nani. We all love you.”

“But I want…”

“Okay, how about this. How about I be your papa?”

 

She stopped crying and looked at me, confusion on her little face.

 

“You can be my papa?”

“If you want to call me papa, I will be your papa.”

“But I have a papa.”

“You can have 2. One who is far away and one who is with you all the time. There’s nothing wrong with having two papa’s. Double the love for you.”

 

I watched as she played with the idea. She looked confused, but her little face lit up and she nodded frantically before hugging me.

 

“Can I call you papa and take you to the Father’s Day event?”

“Of course.”

“Yayyyy!”

 

Jumping up, she gave me a big hug before running out of the room. I turned to Khushi who looked completely exhausted.

 

“I’m sorry, I should have checked with you…”

“Thank you. You saved me today Raj. I didn’t know what to do…”

“Khushi, I know you hate speaking about this but maybe you should let her meet him just once.”

“Raj you know why I can’t do that. How can I introduce her to her father when her father doesn’t even know she exists?”

“Maybe it’s time he did know Khushi.”

 

She turned away from me and I knew that this meant that this conversation was over once more. Honestly, I didn’t want Khushi to reach out to Arnav, but I wanted her and Arushi to be happy always. No matter how happy Khushi acted, it was obvious that she wanted to be with her husband. And after all, why wouldn’t she want that? Nothing had gone wrong between them, they hadn’t had a break up. Yes, he had a child with someone else, but he was with that person before Khushi entered his life so she couldn’t even be angry about that. There was nothing that made her bitter towards Arnav and so it made sense why she still wanted to be with him.

 

*Flashback end*

 

From that day onwards, I have been Arushi’s papa. But despite having me and calling me papa, she still wanted to meet her real father. She didn’t ask about his often, but she did every now and again and those days were still hard for Khushi. I wished Arushi would accept me as her father and completely forget that she actually has another mans blood running through her, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen.

No matter how much love I have forher, she would always be Arushi Singh Raizada, daughter of Arnav Singh Raizada. And no matter how much I loved Khushi, she would forever be the wife of Arnav Singh Raizada. The lucky dog. He was blessed with the two people I wanted more than anything, yet he wasn’t fortunate enough to have them.

I guess I should really feel sorry for him, but at the end of the day I envy him. Because in my heart I know, one day, Khushi and Arushi will go back to him. I don’t know when and how, but I know, I can feel it in my body. They will return to him…

Unwanted ~ Part 27

Khushi

 

Getting out of work early, I decided to go and pick Arushi up from school myself instead of getting our neighbour to drop her off home.

To get to the school from the office didn’t take long. I parked my car in the car park and then went inside the gates to get my baby. I looked at my watch, there was still a few minutes before they would start being let out, so I made my way up to where her classroom was.

Just as I was approaching her classroom, I saw my baby’s little head as she ran towards me.

 

“Mama!”

“Hey baby! How come you got out of class?”

“I told new sir that I saw you and Naina Maasi told sir that she would take me to you.”

 

Naina is our neighbour with whom Arushi usually came home with.

 

“New sir? Who new sir? Why wasn’t Mr Kapoor letting you out?”

 

Just as Arushi was about to start explaining, Naina approached us and started explaining to me how Mr Kapoor had left and how the kids had a substitute.

Nodding, we all turned and started making our way back to my car.

 

*****

 

It was later the same evening and Arushi was sat behind me, working on the letters and numbers she had learnt in class while I read through some files.

 

“Mama mama, guess what?”

“What happened baby?”

“My new teacher said his wife makes better jalebis than you!”

 

“Really?” I turned to see Raj leaning against the doorway, watching Arushi. She turned and saw him standing there and got up, rushing over to him.

“Papa!”

“Hi! So what did your teacher say?”

“I told him mama makes the best jalebis and he said his wife makes better ones!”

 

I saw that Raj looked confused as to why Arushi was talking about a new teacher, so I explained to him about the staffing changes.

 

“Oh I see! Well in that case, I think you should take your teacher some of your mama’s jalebis so he can see that your mom makes the best jalebis ever!”

 

I blushed at the compliment from Raj and turned my attention back to my work while he and Arushi spoke about her day.

 

“So what’s your new teachers name?”

“Mr Rai… Rai…”

 

I felt my blood run cold and I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Rai? Rai what? Raizada? Surely not. Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. I was being paranoid. There was only one Raizada family in all of India and none of the Raizada’s were teachers. Plus she hadn’t even said his name was Raizada. I needed to calm down.

 

“Mr Raichanda!”

“Raichanda?”

“Haan papa! Mr Raichanda! He’s a giant!”

“A giant?”

 

I turned back to Arushi and Raj and I watched him chuckle as she explained how tall her Mr Raichanda was and how he almost touched the ceiling.

 

“He’s even taller than you!”

“Really?”

 

Arushi nodded her head, telling Raj that her teacher was much, much taller than him. I carried on watching as they talked about giants and jalebis. Laughing, I got to my feet and made my way to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for the both of them.

 

As I was frying the samosas, Veera Mausi came to look over my shoulder.

 

“You’re making samosas for those two?”

“Haan, I thought they’d be hungry so…”

“You take such good care of them both. Obviously, you take care of Arushi because she’s your daughter but Raj too…”

“He’s my friend. He’s stood by me through so much. The least I can do is to take care of him too.”

“We’re lucky to have you in our lives, you know that don’t you.”

“And me and Arushi are lucky to have you and Raj.”

 

Taking the samosas out of the oil, I put them on a plate. Once they were slightly cool, I handed one to Veera Mausi to try.

 

“Perfect as always.”

 

Smiling, I picked up the plate and made to leave the kitchen when she stopped me.

 

“Khushi… Can I speak to you about something?”

“Of course! But let me give these first before they get cold.”

 

She nodded and I rushed upstairs to give Arushi and Raj their samosas. They were both on the floor on their tummies, talking about the letters that Arushi had learnt. Smiling, I left them to it and made my way back downstairs. Veera Mausi was sat in the living room, on the sofa, so I sat down beside her.

 

“Khushi, I know it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned this but, have you thought about my proposal to you?”

 

I looked away, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

 

“I have, but my answer is still the same.”

“But Khushi…”

“Please, I don’t want to be rude nor do I want to be disrespectful, but this is one request of yours I cannot consider.”

“But to the world you are already…”

“That’s to the world, but we know the truth. I can’t…”

 

I got up for the sofa and turned away. I couldn’t have this conversation, couldn’t even consider it. I dismissed myself and went back upstairs to find Raj and Arushi still talking about something. I leaned against the door frame, listening to them. I didn’t even realise when Veera Mausi came up behind me.

 

“Just look at them. Even you know they look like they’re father and daughter.”

 

She placed her hand on my shoulder and led me to her room.

 

“Khushi, please consider what I am saying.”

“I can’t! Despite everything, I am still married to Arnav, I’m still his wife. How can I even think about marrying someone else when…

“He got married again didn’t he?”

“But…”

“You could always file for a divorce and send the papers to him.”

“No… I can’t.”

“What about my Raj? We both know he loves you and Arushi too much, hence why he can’t seem to get married to anyone else. If you don’t marry him, I don’t think he ever will.”

“Maybe it’s time for me and Arushi to leave. If we aren’t here, then he’ll stop feeling obligated to us and he’ll move on.”

“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Raj sees Arushi as his own. He won’t just let you both go like that.”

 

I ran my hand through my hair. This was a common conversation between me and Veera Mausi. She wanted me and Raj to marry. I know she means well, but I can’t even consider it. No matter what, I am still Arnav’s wife and even though he’s married to someone else, I can’t just move on like that.

 

“I’m sorry, but my answer is still no.”

“Arushi deserves stable home.”

“She has that! She has me. I’m working always to make sure that I can fulfil all her needs. And she has Raj, who like you said, loves her like his own. She has stability.”

“But what kind of life is this for her? Today she’s only 5 and half, she is happy with her life. But soon, she’ll get older, she’ll start understanding. She’ll want to meet her real father. But you don’t want to let her do that. Your depriving her both ways!”

“How? She’s got Raj?”

“But she already knows that Raj isn’t her real father. Nor her real father, nor is he a step father. Then she’ll want to know about he real father, what will you do then?”

“Some relations don’t need a name. And what Raj and Arushi have is far more important than a name or technicalities. As for what I’ll do when she starts asking questions, when we get there, we’ll see what needs to be done. But for now, Arushi is happy and that’s all that matters to me.”

“I will respect your wishes Khushi, but I think you should start considering it. Six years have passed. You don’t plan to go back to Arnav and that should be reason enough to try and start moving on with your life. And if not for yourself, think about Raj. He isn’t getting married because he’s hoping you will accept his feelings. Does he not deserve a companion too?

“Maybe when I’m ready, I will think about it, but for now, I’m not ready.”

 

Patting me on the shoulder, Veera left the room and I watched her go, taking in her words. Getting up, I made my way back to where Arushi and Raj were. They were still on the floor, reading a book now.

I watched as Raj read the book, changing his voice for all the different characters and I watched how Arushi’s expression changed and she laughed every time he did a high voice.

I watched as she listened intently, gazing up at him. Maybe Veera Mausi was right? Maybe… No no. I couldn’t… Despite everything else, the main issue was that I still loved Arnav. Until I stopped loving him, I couldn’t even consider marrying someone else. But maybe Raj and Arushi’s relationship did need a real name?

I walked away and went into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. Taking his picture out of my bedside table, I held it close to myself.

 

“What should I do Arnav?”

 

Maybe I did need to start considering marriage to Raj. It was true, he had been turning down proposals for as long as she could remember, and when he revealed it was because he wished to marry me, I remember how I’d felt completely lost. He never pressured me to make a decision but…

I felt so confused. What was the right thing to do? What should I do? What would be the best decision for everyone? Was I being unfair to Raj? He deserved to get married, to have a companion, to start a family of his own. I don’t think I could ever give him any of that. I don’t think I can marry someone else and start my life again with them. I don’t think I could ever get intimate with another man. Even if I married Raj, I would only be able to give him half a life, be half a wife. He deserved better than that. He deserved more than what I could ever give him.

I couldn’t marry Raj. I couldn’t.

A Sister’s Sacrifice

 

“Tho baath pakki hai. Hamari Chote aur aapka Payal bitya.” (So it’s settled. Our Chote and your Payal bitya)

 

Unable to take any more, Khushi got up from the sofa, made an excuse about tea and went rushing into the kitchen. She couldn’t deal with what was happening right under her nose. Arnav ji and jiji… How fate played games with her always.

 

*Flashback*

 

Arnav wrapped his arm around Khushi who looked around them nervously.

 

“Arnav ji, let me go, someone will see us.”

“Let then see, I’m not hiding us any more, I’m going to tell everyone about us.”

“But…”

“No buts. I’m going to marry you Khushi.”

 

Eyes wide, Khushi took his words in and blushed before hiding her face in his chest.

 

“I love you Khushi.”

“I… I love you too Arnav ji…”

 

Cupping her face, Arnav lifted her face to his and moved towards her, closing the distance between their lips…

 

*Flashback end*

 

How had it all gone wrong? This was meant to be her shagun day, but it wasn’t. It was her jiji’s. Arnav was meant to tell his family about their relationship, that they were in love with each other and that they wanted to marry. But somehow instead of picking her, they had picked Payal. Somehow, despite being the one who was around the Raizada family, they picked Payal over her to be their daughter in law. Did they not think she was good enough for their family?

Tears pricked Khushi’s eyes as she really took in what was happening. The love of her life was going to marry her sister…

Holding onto the worktop, Khushi steadied herself. She felt weak, shattered, broken… She held the worktop out of fear that her legs would give way and collapse. Tears flowed down her face. Everything was ruined.

Rushing into the kitchen, Arnav moved over to Khushi, placing his hand on her shoulder.

 

“Khushi, I really don’t understand how…”

 

Arnav began to explain that he was going to tell Di about his and Khushi’s relationship when Di approached him instead.

 

*Flashback*

 

“Di, you here?”

“Haan Chote, I’ve come to talk to you about something very important.”

“What is it Di? Are you okay?”

 

Smiling, Anjali put her hand on Arnav’s shoulder and led him into his room, gesturing him to take a seat.

 

“I was just with Nani and we were just discussing your marriage…”

“About that…”

“Me and Nani were just saying how we think a certain Miss Gupta might just be what you and this family needs.”

 

Looking up to his Di, Arnav felt a little shocked.

 

“How did you…”

“I’m your Di. I know. So what do you say?”

 

Looking down, Arnav smiled to himself. He had been so careful to make sure no one found out about him and Khushi, but it seemed they hadn’t gone unnoticed.

 

“Oho look how much my Chote is blushing. Should I assume that means yes?”

“Yes.”

 

Getting to her feet, Anjali clapped her hands together before throwing her arms around her brother.

 

“I can’t believe you’ve agreed! Wait until I go and tell Nani!”

 

Anjali left the room, beaming for ear to ear. Arnav couldn’t help but beam too. Khushi was his choice and she was his family’s choice as well. It was all going the right way for once…

 

*Flashback end*

 

“But I’m going to go back out there and explain. Don’t worry, I’ll sort this.”

“No!”

 

Eyes wide with a frantic expression, Khushi took hold of Arnav’s hand to stop him from turning away, but then dropped his hand again almost instantly.

 

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“But Khushi…”

“You can’t.”

“But if I don’t say something, my marriage with Payal is going to go ahead.”

 

Turning away to try and hide her tears, Khushi realised what she needed to say and do.

 

“You can’t say anything to anyone, you have to go through with all of this.”

“But Khushi…”

“No, no buts Arnav ji. Jiji’s marriage didn’t happen once before because of me, we can’t… I can’t do that to her again.”

“I understand that, but this is different. We love each other, how can I possibly marry your sister?”

“You have to. Jiji has agreed to this marriage, she accepts, she’s interested. I can’t… We can’t…”

 

Wiping her tears away, Khushi turned back to Arnav.

 

“We just have to push our feelings away, forget about our relationship and try and move forward.”

“How can you say that? How can you expect me to do that? You want me to forget about you and marry your sister? Are you crazy! How am I meant to forget about everything that has been going on between us for the last couple of months? Do you know how messed up that is?”

 

Turning her back to him again so he wouldn’t see her tears, Khushi nodded her head.

 

“I know it’s going to be hard but…”

“But nothing! I can’t marry Payal!”

“You have to! I can’t let her life get ruined again because of me.”

“But if we don’t tell the truth about our feelings, if we don’t stop this, then we’d still be ruining Payal’s life. Would you not rather she just be hurt now for a short time, instead of hurt for the rest of her life because she’s married to a man who loves her sister?”

“You’ll have to move on and learn to accept Jiji.”

 

Running his hand through his hair, Arnav couldn’t believe she was being like this. Was her love for her sister that strong that she was willing to give up her love for the sake of her sisters happiness?

 

“Arnav ji… Forget about me. Our relationship, it’s over.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to. Please…”

 

Taking his hands into her own, Khushi looked up into Arnav’s eyes, pleading. Pulling his hands away from her, he turned and marched away. This was insane. She’d totally lost it.

 

*****

 

“Are you okay Khushi? You’ve been so quiet all evening.”

 

The Raizada’s had left and the Gupta family had all retreated to their individual bedrooms.

 

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You looked really pale earlier. Are you falling ill?”

“I’m fine Jiji, really. Don’t worry about me at all.”

 

Whether or not Payal realised that Khushi was lying, she chose not to question Khushi any further and picked up a sari that the Raizada’s had gifted her.

 

“This is such a pretty sari isn’t it?”

“Hm.”

“Can you believe this is happening Khushi? I mean, I, Payal Gupta, am marrying Arnav Singh Raizada! Can you believe it?”

 

Noting the excitement in Payal’s voice, Khushi smiled briefly before turning away.
Walking over to where Khushi was sitting, Payal placed her hand on Khushi’s shoulder.

 

“I know you and Arnav ji have had your problems before, but I’m so glad you’re both friends now.”

“Were not friends…”

“I mean you don’t argue all the time like before. It would have been a problem if you did, after all he’s going to be your Jijaji.”

 

Khushi noted how Payal was blushing. She should tease her sister, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. How could she possibly tease her sister about the man she loved. The man who she thought she was going to marry. She couldn’t do it. Not yet anyway.

 

“You know Khushi, when Buaji told me about the proposal, I was so nervous. Arnav ji just seems so… Intense. And I guess I still feel like he is but…”

 

Intense… That’s the word Payal used to describe him. If only she knew just how intense he really was…

 

*Flashback*

 

Arnav had taken Khushi to the farmhouse under the pretence of work and now they lay on the bed of his bedroom. His hand locked with hers as he placed a line of kisses on her neck. Hands fisted in his hair, Khushi held him close to herself as she hooked one leg into his.

 

“Arnav ji…”

 

He silenced her by slanting his lips over hers, taking her in a soul consuming kiss. Their lips duelled for dominance as their hands caressed the others body, their body’s moving against the others, their need for each other evident.

 

Breaking the kiss, Arnav groaned and pulled away.

 

“I can’t wait to marry you. Having to stop myself is driving me crazy. I want to be with you…”

 

His hand moved down her body, touching her breasts lightly. Khushi knew exactly what he mean and how he wanted to be with her. She wanted that too. When they got intimate like this, it was becoming harder and harder to pull away, to stop themselves from taking things further.

 

“I can’t wait to be able to carry you into my bed and make love to you all night long. I swear Khushi… Our wedding night…”

 

Blushing, Khushi rolled into him, hiding her face in his chest. The thought of their wedding night and taking things further caused her body to feel like she was going up in flames.

 

“I can’t wait either…”

 

*Flashback end*

 

Realising that their wedding night would now never arrive, Khushi felt her eyes well up with tears again. Getting to her feet, she rushed into the bathroom.

 

“Khushi…”

 

Slamming the door behind her, Khushi leaned against the door and let her tears fall.

 

*****

 

Putting all her feelings aside, Khushi began to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to marry Arnav. It hurt, but she got used to the hurt. There was nothing else she could do.

Wedding preparations were in full swing now, and Khushi partook in everything that was happening with as much enthusiasm as she could. It was hard, but seeing the happiness on her sister’s face, Khushi got over what she was feeling.

She had managed to avoid Arnav, even though it had been crazy hard. He was everywhere. Either he’d turn up at her house and openly tell everyone that he needed to see her, or he would constantly call her until she needed to switch her phone off. Every time he pulled such a stunt, she felt herself break all over again, her need to be with him taking over her. But she has to resist it all, for her jiji’s sake.

 

*****

 

“Jiji you go na! I’ll wait outside.”

“Come on Khushi! You need to help me!”

 

Dragging Khushi by the hand, Payal forced her to come into the lingerie shop with her. This was too much for Khushi. How could she possibly help her sister pick out lingerie. That too to impress Arnav.

 

“Jiji please, I don’t feel comfortable.”

“Oh ho Khushi! Why are you acting like you don’t wear underwear? Anyway, you should buy some stuff for yourself. After my wedding, buaji will start looking for a groom for you!”

“I don’t want to get married.”

 

Stopping in her tracks, Payal stopped to look at her sister.

 

“What do you mean you don’t want to get married? It was only a few weeks ago you were telling me all your wedding plans. And now?”

“I just don’t want to.”

 

It was obvious to Payal that something was wrong with Khushi. She lost her spark, she was always quiet and she seemed so distant. And no matter how many times Payal asked, Khushi wouldn’t tell her anything. She was starting to become concerned but she didn’t know what she should do.

Choosing to drop the matter for now, Payal picked up some sexy night dresses and held them against herself to show Khushi.

 

“What do you think? Should I get this?”

“I told you I don’t want to do this! Why can’t you leave me alone!”

 

Running out of the shop, Khushi held her tears back. Upon reaching a bench she sat down and looked up.

 

“Why Devi Maiyya are you testing me like this? Why are you punishing me? I have never done anything wrong then why… If you are punishing me for getting close to Arnav ji outside of marriage, I’m sorry, but please, stop playing with me like this! I know I should’ve kept my distance but still… I haven’t actually done anything sinful with him… Please stop punishing me like this. Please…”

 

*****

 

As the date of the wedding got nearer and nearer, Arnav became more and more frantic. He needed to stop the wedding, he couldn’t marry Payal. He had been trying to talk to Khushi, so that they could work something out together, but she wasn’t willing to speak to him.

Pacing his bedroom, Arnav ran his hand through his hair. He needed to work something out. But without Khushi’s co-operation, he didn’t see himself getting out of this situation. And he didn’t want to go against Khushi’s wishes and tell everyone the truth about his and Khushi’s relationship.

Why was everything such a mess? And to make matters worse, the Raizada’s and Gupta’s had decided that the best location for the wedding was the farmhouse. Arnav had tried to suggests other locations, but everyone was set on the farmhouse. Arnav couldn’t do it. He couldn’t get married at the farmhouse and he couldn’t spend the first night with Payal in the bedroom where he and Khushi got intimate numerous times.

 

*Flashback*

 

“Arnav ji we need to stop doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Coming here… And doing this.”

 

Placing kisses down the valley between her breasts, Khushi giggled as Arnav’s stubble tickled her.

He moved lower down her body, placing kisses just above her belly button. Khushi’s hand clenched in Arnav’s hair as she felt a weird feeling brewing in the pit of her belly.

He came back over her, lying beside her on the bed and threw his arm around her midsection. Khushi grabbed hold of the blanket and covered their half naked bodies.

 

“We’re coming to your house tomorrow. And within the month we’re going to be married.”

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

“The next time we get intimate like this, we won’t have to stop. I won’t have to stop myself from taking your underwear off.”

“Arnav ji…”

“I can’t wait to hear you moan my name when I’m buried deep in your body.”

 

Blushing redder than she had ever done before, Khushi buried her face in Arnav’s chest.
Soon, soon they would be one.

 

*Flashback end*

 

Running his hand through his hair, Arnav didn’t know how he was meant to deal with this. Life was a shambles.

 

*****

 

The wedding day was finally upon them. Payal was taking a bath, and Khushi took the time for herself. She had been sat on the bed, looking at the wedding lengha and felt a sudden urge to put it on. Payal had only just gone into the bathroom so she had time.

She struggled a bit to get it on, but she managed it and looked at herself in the mirror. The lengha was in the deepest shade of red with a heavy golden boarder. Even without all the jewellery she felt weighed down, she felt like a princess. A bride fit for Arnav Singh Raizada. Looking at her hands adored with dark mendhi, she found the A tattooed on her skin. Tears fell onto her hands as she realised that this was a mare dream and nothing more. She would never be Arnav’s bride, never ask him to find his letter on her hands. He’d never be responsible of taking this heavy lengha off of her.

Khushi remained in front of the mirror, staring at herself and wishing hard that this were her reality. But no amount of wishing or praying would change the fact that this wasn’t her wedding day and that she would now never be able to marry Arnav.

Stood there in front of the mirror, Khushi lost track of time. When Payal came out of the bathroom, she was slightly confused to find Khushi stood in her lengha, tears flowing down her face.

 

“Khushi?”

 

Snapping out of her daydream, Khushi looked at Payal with big eyes. Now she was done for.

 

“Jiji I…”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry… I just…”

 

Starting to cry again, Khushi felt her world crash down around her. How was she going to explain herself now?

 

“Hey hey, don’t cry.”

 

Rushing over to her sister’s side, she took Khushi into her arms and held her close.

 

“I’m not going to say anything. There’s nothing wrong with you wearing my dress. I don’t mind.”

“Are you… Are you sure?”

“Of course Khushi. Waise bhi you look so beautiful in it.”

 

Mumbling a word of thanks, Khushi went behind the little wooden sectioned off bit to get changed. As she took the lengha off, it felt like she was letting her soul go with it.

 

*****

 

“Aw my Chote looks so handsome.”

 

Arnav smiled at his Di as she faffed around with his sherwani and his turban. The smile he had plastered on his face was one that had been on his face for the last week. He had been trying to work out how to get out of this, but he hadn’t come out with anything yet. The only way he could avoid this marriage is if he told the truth about himself and Khushi, and she had forbidden him from doing that. He couldn’t get out of it…

 

*****

 

The Gupta’s had been directed to two bedrooms so that they could get ready as there was some time before the wedding.

Helping Payal into her lengha, Khushi felt the tears in her eyes once more. How had the tears not stopped yet, how did she still have so many tears?

 

“You look like a princess Jiji.”

“Thank you Khushi. Are you sure? Do you think… Do you think he…”

 

Watching Payal blush, Khushi felt a sick feeling in her stomach. Her sister wanted to impress Arnav, wanted Arnav to be impressed. After all why wouldn’t she want that? She was going to marry him.

 

“Jiji I need to go out to get some air. I feel really hot.”

 

Nodding, Payal let Khushi go. She rushed out of the bedroom, and walked down the corridor so that she could leave. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t be here while her sister and her love got married.

Just as she was walking passed Arnav’s bedroom, he opened the door and stuck his head out of the room. Upon seeing each other, they both stopped.

 

“Khushi…”

 

Making to rush away, Arnav grabbed hold of Khushi’s hand, pulling her to himself, placing his arm around her waist.

 

“Let me go. Please.”

“Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Khushi please.”

 

Pulling herself away from him, Khushi turned away and rushed down the stairs. Payal, who had been standing at the doorway of her door, saw the little interaction between Arnav and Khushi and couldn’t help but feel confused. What on earth was that about? What was going on?

 

*****

 

As Arnav and Payal took to the mandap, both their eyes sought out Khushi. But she hadn’t come back yet. After seeing Arnav and Khushi together, alarm bells had started going off in Payal’s head and she started to piece things together. But nothing was making sense. She wanted to speak to Arnav, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to him. And now they were at the mandap, she couldn’t ask him anything now, not with everyone looking at them.

 

“You okay?”

“I am… It’s just Khushi… I don’t know where she is.”

 

Arnav looked away and it further solidified Payal’s suspicions.

 

“Maybe it’s better if she isn’t here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Not responding, Arnav looked away, waiting to get the show on the road. But Payal couldn’t. Were Arnav ji and Khushi… But surely they would’ve said something if they were?

Payal felt confused, a million thoughts crossed her mind as she tried to make sense of it all. But she couldn’t make sense of it. She didn’t know what to think. She needed to ask him. She needed to know. She couldn’t go through with this with any doubt in her mind.

 

“Arnav ji, I need to speak to you.”

 

Looking around, Arnav moved a little closer, offering his ear.

 

“No I need to speak to you in private.”

“But now?”

“It can’t wait.”

 

Arnav flagged his Di down and let her know that he and Payal needed to quickly talk about something.

 

“But now Chote? It’s nearly time to get started.”

 

But before Arnav could respond, Anjali nodded as she helped Payal to her feet and directed them to one of the rooms. She told them to make sure that they were quick.

Once inside the room, Arnav shut the door and approached Payal.

 

“What’s the matter, is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. That’s what I want to ask you, is everything okay?”

 

Arnav looked at Payal, slightly confused as to what she was trying to ask him.

 

“What do you mean?”

“You and Khushi.”

 

Payal watched as the colour drained from Arnav’s face as he realised what she was asking. Stepping closer to Arnav, Payal looked up at him, a pleading expression on her face.

 

“Please, tell me the truth. Is there something going on between you and Khushi?”

“I…”

 

Arnav thought about all the times Khushi had said that Payal couldn’t find out about them, that their relationship was now over and so there was no point talking about it. But Payal knew and it would be wrong to lie to her. He couldn’t deceive her. He couldn’t build a relationship with her by starting out with a lie.

 

“Just tell me.”

“We… We were in a relationship, we were in love with each other and when I agreed to this marriage, I thought I would be marrying Khushi. But when I realised the error, Khushi stopped me from rectifying the situation. You were interested in this rishta and Khushi didn’t want to take that away from you. I don’t even know how my family came to the conclusion that you and I would be right for each other, especially when we have never really interacted, but they did. They picked you for me over Khushi, and she wants me to give this relationship a fair chance, for your sake.”

“But you love each other.”

“Khushi ended our relationship on the day of the shagun. I haven’t been able to speak to her since.”

“But do you still love each other?”

“I still love her, I don’t know if she still feels the same way about me.”

“How could she… How could she not say anything?”

“She said your last rishta broke down because of her, she didn’t want to be the reason for this rishta breaking as well. She told me our relationship was over and that I should learn to move forward with you.”

“So this marriage… Will you actually accept our marriage and try to move forward with me.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

 

This evidently must have been the wrong answer because Payal looked appalled.

 

“Does Khushi mean that little to you? You’re willing to marry me and move forward with me when you were in a relationship with my sister. When you claim you were in love with her and wanted to marry her?”

“It’s because Khushi means the world to me that I am willing to move forward. Khushi’s happiness lies in your happiness Payal. If I can keep you happy, then it means that I would be keeping Khushi happy too.”

 

Turning away, Payal raised her hand to her head, trying to comprehend everything that was happening.

 

“Payal, I know this is a lot to take in moment before we get married. But I promise you, I will be faithful to you.”

“But Khushi! What about Khushi?”

 

Arnav felt his heart break. His heart broke for Khushi, who he knew had so many dreams linked with him and his heart broke for Payal who was hurting because her sister hid the truth from her and was ready to sacrifice so much for her.

 

“I can’t marry you Arnav ji. I can’t. Say today we get married and everything goes well. But one day we may have children together, one day we may be happy together… But Khushi. I can’t do that to her. Her first love… I can’t rub it in her face like that. Khushi’s strong, but I don’t think she would be able to deal with that. And I cant lose her.”

“So what now? What are we meant to do?”

“We need to find Khushi.”

 

Arnav nodded. Payal was right. They couldn’t go forward with this. They needed to find Khushi and they needed to talk some sense into her. But where was she? And how were they meant to find her before everyone started to come looking for them?

Arnav was stressed, but the moment they opened the door to try to go and find Khushi, there was was, standing in the doorway.

 

“Khushi!”

 

Throwing her arms around her sister, Payal held Khushi close to herself, letting her tears fall.

 

“Jiji…”

“You crazy girl! How could you… Where did you go? I thought you weren’t going to be back.”

“I just needed to…”

 

Breaking the hug, Payal turned her attention to Arnav who was looking at Khushi with longing in his eyes.

 

“Arnav ji, could you go outside and wait for us please, I need to talk to Khushi quickly.”

“The wedding…”

“Don’t tell anyone anything yet. Please just wait at the mandap while I speak to Khushi.”

 

Nodding, Arnav left and Payal shut the door behind him.

 

“Jiji what’s going on?”

“I know the truth!”

“Which truth?”

“Yours and Arnav ji’s.”

“He told you?”

“He didn’t need to. I realised. What were you thinking Khushi? How could you just… How could you give up your first love for me? Not just your first love, but your true love? You planned a future with him and you were… You were ready to sacrifice all of that for my sake? Are you… How can you be that selfless Khushi?”

 

Tears flowed down both Khushi and Payal’s face as Khushi explained everything that had been goon through her head.

Holding her sister close, Payal listened as Khushi cried.

 

“You really are Sanka Devi. How could you possibly sacrifice so much for me? I understand why you were doing it, but Arnav ji… How could you do that that to him? How could you do that to yourself? Did you not think how hard it would be for you to see me and him together?”

“All I was thinking about what you Jiji.”

“Pagli. How did you think I could ever be happy at your expense? Maybe one day me and Arnav ji may have been happy. Maybe he would one day accept me whole heartedly. But just as he’s your first love, you are his. And I don’t think any of us would have been happy if me and him got married. Not really… Not truly happy, the way we all deserve to be.”

“What are you saying Jiji?”

“I’m saying, let’s get all this sorted and get this show on the road…”

 

*****

Finally reemerging from the room, everyone looked between the bride and her sister in confusion. But after a quick explanation of the circumstances, the wedding was finally ready to go ahead.

The couple did all the rituals that were needed and were soon pronounced man and wife…

 

*****

 

Locking the bedroom door, Arnav smiled as he walked over to the bed where his blushing bride was waiting for him.

 

“So in the end, it all worked out for you and me.”

 

Khushi smiled as Arnav came towards her. She had been completely convinced that their relationship was over and done with but now… They were about to start a new relationship. Thanks to her Jiji. Payal called off her marriage for Khushi’s sake. Her sister sacrificed her own rishta for her sake. Khushi watched as Arnav slowly stripped out of his sherwani and dropped his trousers. He came onto the bed, moving towards her slowly.

 

“Our first night… I thought I’d take my time, letting you undress me and then me undress you. But after what we went through, almost losing you… I can’t wait. I just want to make you mine now.”

“Please, just make me yours…”

 

*****

 

A rapid knock on the door woke Arnav up. Looking beside him, he smiled at the slumbering, naked form beside him. Last night had been intense. Definitely not what he had expected for their first night, but given the circumstances, it was understandable why there had been such a sense of urgency between them.

Covering Khushi properly with the silky blankets, Arnav pulled his trousers on and went to open the bedroom door.

 

“Good morning Chote, you took your time. Did I disturb anything?”

 

Laughing, Arnav pushed the door open so Di could see Khushi was still sleeping.

 

“You woke me up. She’s still fast asleep.”

“Was she okay? I mean given the circumstances and how suddenly everything changed?”

“She was a bit unsettled for a while, she kept thinking about Payal but she was okay afterwards.”

“It’ll be hard for her for a while. She was so ready to give you up for her sister and now to have you but at the expense of her sisters happiness…”

“Can you believe she was willing to walk away front our relationship for the sake of Payal? I never believed that people could be that selfless.”

“She has a big heart Chote. A very big heart. Always keep her happy and treasure her, people like Khushi are hard to come by.”

 

Smiling, Arnav looked over his shoulder to see his wife stretching. The sheets moved away from her body a little and rested just about her breasts. Arnav blushed as he shut the door slightly, covering Khushi from Anjali’s view.

 

“Looks like you’ve been doing a good job treasuring her.”

“Di!”

 

Sticking her tongue out, Anjali rushed away, shouting that Arnav and Khushi should be ready in an hours time for the pooja. Shutting the door, Arnav walked back over to the bed, letting his trousers and boxers fall to the floor. Getting into bed, he cuddled up to Khushi, placing light kisses on her neck, making her wake up.

 

“Hi.”

“Arnav ji…”

“You’re beautiful.”

 

Cuddling up to Arnav, Khushi pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his scent. Khushi made a mental pact to herself. She was never take this man for granted. She’d never stop being grateful for him. And she’d never stop letting her sister know just how much she appreciated her sacrifice. And she would always make sure that she would always love her sister more than anyone else in this world. Payal had given her the biggest gift someone could ever give anyone.

 

The gift of a happily ever after.